The "One"...

[Jester]

I surfing around the other day and I came across one of a million love tests. I was bored, so I went through it. It was to determine whether you had a romantic view of love or a realsitic view. The question that caught my eye asked whether or not you thought that there was one specific person out there that you were meant to be with.

Before my first serious relationship, I probably would have said that I thought that there was one specific person. Now though, I think that in your life you'll meet a number of people in whom you could find happiness. The person(people) that you wind up having in your life depend on any number of things (timing, effort, emotional state, luck, etc.).

So, basically, I'm wondering what everyone else thinks and why. Do you think that the "one" is out there, and that you are destined to be together someday? Or, is it more a matter of the person that you meet at the right time and try the hardest with? Hmmm...?

 

[Skibum]

I think there's just one. You have to find them.

 

[Stormystarr]

I think there is one person with whom we were meant for. But most of us aren't lucky enough to ever meet this one person. We just settle down with someone who we can get along with. But, if you are lucky enough to find that special person whom you are meant to be with, you will just know, there will be no reservations about the relationship at all. But thats just my opinion.

 

[April]

How do you know they're the one?
Do you just know?
Do you know for the rest of your life?
What if they're the one know, and then 10 years down the road, they're not the one anymore? Where they ever the one, then?

I'm not kidding, either. I'm really curious.

 

[Stormystarr]

I think you would just know, everything would just "fit". Now if there is even a little doubt deep down, kind of like that little ache in the pit of your stomach, then they're not the one. But then again, thats just my opinion, I could be completely wrong.

 

[Jester]

Does that mean that if you've found this person that everything in the relationship just works; that the work that goes into other relationships isn't necessary then?

Don't get me wrong, I still really like the idea of the perfect person for you, but it's hard for me to reconcile the ideal with the reality.

 

[Stormystarr]

Well, all relationships require work, thats obvious. It's just that when you find that one person, it's just not as hard to be together. But since most people never find that "one", it's better to just try to work on it to make it as good as you possibly can.

 

[skitch]

my $.02

I've always believe that there is one person out there for you. I don't really agree that if you have any doubts then that person isn't the 'one'. For instance, let's say you get cheated on by your SO. Well, if the next person you go out with is the 'one' or even not the one...it's just natural to doubt their sincerity and faithfulness in the relationship.

I took it upon myself in life to never date or get seriously involved with any girl that i didn't think was the 'one'. So while my relationships have been few, the ones i have had were long lasting. With my last girlfriend, i was cheated on...twice. But the girl i'm with now is so perfect for me, and I finally know what love is. I firmly believe she and I to be soulmates....but in the beginning, I was always asking her if she felt as if the relationship was a good one, or if she had any doubts, etc. So, i think there is just one person out there for everyone...and don't let a little doubt or questioning keep you from finding YOUR soulmate.

 

[Savage Kitten]

Destiny?? BAH-HUMBUG!

I believe that there is a perfect soul mate for everyone. But does that mean that everyone will actually meet their soulmate? NO.. I think not.

A perfect example is internet romances. You here so often about people who met and fell in love online. These people would have never even known the other existed w/o the i-net. So, what if, my grandmothers soulmate lived in europe, but neither of them had any clue to what wonders the internet held and so .. they missed out on each other.

I think actually Finding your soul mate includes all those things Jester was talking about: timing, effort, emotional state, luck, etc.

 

[Jester]

I think that seeing two people who were meant to be togehter would be a really beautiful thing. Anybody know someone that they think has found their person? Or found that person themselves?

Hi, SK, how'z ya?

 

[Savage Kitten]

Hi, SK, how'z ya?

*grinz* Hi Jester sweety, believe it or not I'm doin good hehe

I'm sorta still in work mode.. tryin to come back to my sweet lovable adorable kitty self *lol*

I got a Q for you Jester.... are YOU the ONE?

 

[Jester]

Am I the One?

Well, I can say that I'm certainly the best that I've ever had!

Glad to hear it!
*scratches kitty behind the ears*

I honestly have no idea if I'm anyone's perfect match. If I am, though, you almost have to feel sorry for the poor girl.

 

[Savage Kitten]

*purrs contently*

oh.. i dunno... i think a girl could get used to this

 

[CreamyLady]

I really do think there is One for each of us; it may take a lot of trial and error to find him or her, but it's all worthwhile when you find that one.

 

[Jester]

Honestly, though, if there's A person out there for me and I somehow manage to find her, I think that that would make me the luckiest person alive (see, despite my skepticality, I'm really just a big mushball; what do they call it again, hopeless?).

See, despite the values that we tend to place on things in our lives, when you boil it down, there are only a few things that really matter/make a difference in a person's life. True love is one of them.

(I know, aaawwwwww.....)

 

[Savage Kitten]

but...

i think you can find your soulmate and find true love

BUT

just because you've found 'true love' doesn't mean you've found your soulmate

 

[Jester]

True enough, kitten. True enough. I know exactly how that song goes. It aint' easy; but it's worth it.

 

[Silverlily]

I have found my "one". And before you all go rolling your eyes and giving me the "pu-leez, not the mushy crap" line, hear me out. There is nothing sugar-coated or sickly sweet about this relationship.

My husband and I have been together for five years. We have spent about three of those years fighting. In some regards, we are exactly the same; in others, total opposites. After a great deal of effort, we have finally come to realize we are two halves of a whole. He and I are both what the other wishes they could be at times. Even during our worst fights, there is no doubt we are supposed to be together.

Much work has gone into keeping our marriage intact, but the possibility of being apart was never seriously entertained. No matter how much he gets on my nerves or how often he does dumb things, I know I am the with only person that is right for me. I don't think finding the one is about everything being perfect, I think it is about surviving everything that isn't.

 

[Jester]

Congratulations, KE.

That's really a beautiful thing. I hope that the two of you stop sometimes and realize just how lucky you really are.

 

[Whispersecret]

I love the idea of soulmates. I read lots of romantic fiction, which is filled with tales involving True Love. I especially enjoy the time travel books where the two souls call across Time itself to be together.

But that's fiction.

For many reasons, I have never believed that there was one and only one true love for me.

One, I suppose that, although I am a die-hard romantic, I couldn't get past the logic. Like Savage Kitten said, I always thought, "What if my soulmate is in the jungles of the Amazon? We'll never find each other!"

Two, it would just be too depressing to think that I was searching for an atom in a haystack. If The One and Only Theory was true, the odds were against me finding him.

I think that each person--with their own unique personality, traits, faults, strengths, psychological make-up--is suited to any number of people who fit a particular profile, including all that stuff I just listed, plus (most likely) appearance. So, I believe that each person has many many "matches" out there available. After finding one of these "matches," I believe success of the relationship and the depth of love that's developed depends more on how the two individuals work (and I mean WORK) on the relationship. If the people involved just sit around expecting their relationship to flourish just because <girlish sigh here> HE/SHE is The One, they're in for a nasty surprise sooner or later.