The Next Forgotten - Feedback

[Cutestarr65]

My third installment of the Forgotten series is out now. Click the link below to read it.

[TRIGGER WARNING] Themes of incest, non-consent, asphyxiation and watersports abound. Tread carefully and please remember this is fiction. Not based on anyone living or dead.

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-next-forgotten

I'd appreciate any feedback!

-CS

 

[Cutestarr65]

Not everyone's cup of tea, I suppose?

-CS

 

[AwkwardMD]

Simmer down. Most of us have jobs and our own projects, and stopping down to give feedback requires several hours of personal time.

Someone will get to this.

 

[Cutestarr65]

Sorry. Didn't mean to come across as pushy. The topics in the story are pretty dark, so it's okay if people don't like it. I'm just desperate for feedback sometimes, as I usually have only myself to proofread to.

-CS

 

[AwkwardMD]

The biggest problem I saw with this was fatigue and desensetization.

Great idea. Great concept. Great execution. Once it got past the second scene, it was a lot of more of the same that didn't break any new ground.

 

[AwkwardMD]

The most important lesson you can learn is how to not overstay your welcome. Understanding scope, and what any one story idea really has in terms of longevity.

You have good characters. You have good dialogue. You have good description. Now you need to learn some advanced storytelling techniques to make even more effective use of those skills.