The Newbies Munch Thread (AKA The 'There are No Stupid Questions' Thread)

Sir_Nathan

Really Experienced
Joined
Feb 15, 2002
Posts
114
Welcome to the thread. Generally intended for newbies to the lifestyle, I'd like this place to be somewhere anyone may come to introduce themselves, hang out, joke around (read 'light teasing', not scening), or to ask questions and get clear, honest and consistent information. There are plenty of 'specific' threads on the boards where lots happens (including scening) and you are encouraged to read them and look around.

Here you may ask anything you like, lifestyle-specific or not, get another opinion, or simply chat and make friends. Discussion of the various responses or issues that arise is encouraged.

As it was quite clearly pointed out to me early in this thread (as if I didn't know because I was Australian - rolls eyes), ALL persons involved in a scene, including those 'witnessing' it, should have given their consent prior to the scene taking place. Because it is impossible to get the consent of those browsing the threads who may not wish to witness an edgeplay scene (or just about anything that could offend someone), no scening should take place on this thread. In addition, gratuitous descriptions of fantasies is also discouraged. There are no points for being shocking. By all means give an outline and seek advice, but make at least some attempt to keep it clean please. This is not a no fun clause. Light teasing and general banter, nudging and winking is fine.

Respect others. It is very difficult to respect others when you don't know them and it is my hope that those whose respect in their eyes has already been earned by their experience on the boards will try to keep this fact in mind. It is also my wish that the regulars will help to guide the conversations in CONSTRUCTIVE directions and will encourage those who wish to nit pick people's opinions to desist. This is not a pissing contest. One-upmanship and grandstanding should be discouraged.

These are not rules. They form an outline of the spirit of the thread. By necessity they are fluid. If they contradict any rules already in existence regarding posting on threads, then the rule already in existence will take precedence.

Please adhere to the general rules of posting.

And please note that this intro was changed as of the 19/20 (depending where you live), November 2006. Some posts prior to that may not adhere to the above changes. Please don't use the existence of those posts to justify the writing of similar posts. And don't judge those who wrote them. (They are big changes.)

As this is my first thread, I'd like to apologise if it is duplicated elsewhere.

Anyway, the doors are opening...
 
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Yea!!! I get to be the first poster and I promise to be back. In the meantime, do you have a specific topic in mind right now? :rose: :rose: :rose: Neon
 
neonflux said:
Yea!!! I get to be the first poster and I promise to be back. In the meantime, do you have a specific topic in mind right now? :rose: :rose: :rose: Neon

chuckles, welcome Neon.

Right now it's 1.30 am and I've been writing all night and my mind is fried. I think I'll get some shut eye and I'll suggest something tomorrow if the ball isn't already rolling. Anyone is welcome to toss in a question. I promise I'll sleep on it...
 
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well, i dont have a specific question, but ill think about it. ill get back to you on this one on monday (im going to visit SIr this weekend (!!!!) so i wont be on the computer). hopefully ill be back with a few questions and mabye ill have some new stories to share :nana:
 
LOL, don't worry about the spelling 'cause I think they have gotten used to it from me, or do they just tolerate it and grumble between themselves?!! :D

Catalina :catroar:
 
Yay~ A no stupid questions thread - thank goodness (aka Sir_Nathan)!

Now must make concerted effort to organize thoughts enough to ask questions...
 
Sometimes stream-of-consciousness questions, are just as good as well thought out questions. ;)
 
:devil: ok I have a question How many ppl actually have a fantasy of kidnapping someone and using them as thier sex toy ????
 
I have one too- does anyone know where milord can get a copy of "The Loving Dom"? Apparently it's out of print in Europe.
 
Non-stupid Question #1

CutieMouse said:
Sometimes stream-of-consciousness questions, are just as good as well thought out questions. ;)
As indicated in the thread about establishing trust in the BDSM Talk forum...

Originally Posted by angel_girl
I have no problem trusting. In fact, I probably trust way too quickly. My problem is being able to step back from the need and gain some real perspective on the situation before moving forward. I think the fact that I've been willing to overlook potential issues that have always been a problem in any vanilla relationship I've had speaks directly to the sense of urgency I have to explore this side of me. This desire can too easily push aside my common sense and allow me to trust others when I should trust my instincts.


Rox_shybutcurious said:
Angel_girl, do you find this to be the case on both a physical and emotional level?

I myself am much more apt to trust physically then to let myself be vulnerable emotionally. One of the things I'm a little afraid of in searching this out. It seems like the emotional trust should be there first before trusting somebody with your physical limits.

Rox.

No. Unfortunately, if I feel even a little bit trusting toward someone, I tend to throw myself in heart, body, and soul. And you're right to be afraid of that...it's really difficult to disengage when it all comes clear. I need serious help with the whole 'Stop. Look. Listen.' getting to know you part of it. :sigh:

Throw advice at me, please. I'm begging.
 
This always seems to turn up on recommended book lists... A while back I did a search at about every "used and rare" books website, and couldn't find it. Is that the whole title? One that kept on coming up in the searches: "Different Loving the World of Sexual Dom" but that also available new... :confused:
 
Yeah, it seems to be impossible to get hold of. Sub-shop have it, but they wont deliver if your billing and delivery addresses are different, and he and I are both living abroad this year.

Furthermore, according to Amazon "Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns" doesn't even exist!
 
Here's my question (speaking from a newbie couple - m Dom/f sub):

How would you advise each person in an established relationship on how to deal with a sub becoming self-protective just because she got a cold? I'm asking what the sub can do to help herself and what could the Dom potentially do to help the sub?

Here's the senario:

I had asked my husband to take on the dominant role in the relationship (in general, not just sexually) after I had done research on D/s here at Lit. through the forum and the library thread. It was working for awhile, but, when I got sick, the proverbial gloves came off. I was instantly protective of myselftrying to get better. I had a hard time trusting my husband (who I've been with for 10 years) while I was sick. I was sick for 2 or more months almost constantly with cold after cold after cold... Then my husband got sick as well. Well that basically brought out the "mother hen" side of me, and that was the end of that experiment. We are a year later, and for a while I stopped reading about D/s or any stories BDSM related. I read Culture Shock shortly after it came out and all those feelings came flooding back that I had tried so hard to surpress. (It is a great story.) We are starting to talk and re-negotiate the relationship. With cold season starting, and knowing my past history with colds during winter, this is going to pop up again soon.

Any advice is welcomed.

silverstouch
 
Vitamin C?

I'm not really sure what to suggest about that, do you know why you get self protective when you have a cold? I like to be looked after when I'm ill and it's something that milord is really good at, it just means that our D/s takes a slightly less violent turn for a few days, for us at least, care is as important a part of our relationship as sex and punishment. If you can allow yourself to trust him for a week or so, you might find that it brings you closer together x
 
Subscribed

Sometimes I get a flurry of questions in my head as a read about this lifestyle. So I am very glad to have a place to ask them! :) :rose: :catroar:
 
Thanks for replying nymphee to my question.

do you know why you get self protective when you have a cold?

To this I don't know. It could be that in the past I've simply had to take care of myself. For something more concrete than that I'll have to get back to you.

silverstouch
 
i_love_myself76 said:
:devil: ok I have a question How many ppl actually have a fantasy of kidnapping someone and using them as thier sex toy ????

I happen to know of quite a few but for me that fantasy would be vice versa, as you can tell in any of the stories I write.

Fury :rose:
 
silverstouch said:
Thanks for replying nymphee to my question.



To this I don't know. It could be that in the past I've simply had to take care of myself. For something more concrete than that I'll have to get back to you.

silverstouch

Feel free to PM me if you'd like to talk about it less publicly. Maybe I'm just a brat, but I love being fussed over and tucked into bed and having my hair stroked when I'm ill. It's almost enough to make me want to go out and find someone with a cold to catch!

Thanks for your recommendation re the book Fury xxx
 
When I'm sick, I'm worried about getting anyone else sick so I like some distance usually. However if I can't feed myself or get my drugs? If I'm that sick, I need some TLC and attention now and then. Usually a loving kitty will do. What really sucks is not being able to do anything, music, tv or reading without it hurting.

Fury :rose:
 
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Looks in, smiles, hands out coffees and welcomes everyone.

Please feel free to contribute and just jump in. Questions or answers.
 
nymphee said:
Thanks for your recommendation re the book Fury xxx

You are more than welcome!

BTW, I hear great things about Airborne. I don't know if I believe them but I hear about it working, seems a mite expensive though.

Fury :rose:
 
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