The Most Stoopidest Things Ever

[Dillinger]

Everyone join in now....

• Car alarms - So far these have resulted in 12 vehicles saved and 425 million people awakened at 3am because someone leaned against a '91 Stanza.
• Toupees - Like we can't tell you're wearing a fucking carpet on your head.
• Mopeds - Buy a motorcycle. Please.
• The Letter K - It can't do anything that C can't do.
• Kenny G

Your turn.

 

[lavender]

 

[Dillinger]

Sure sure sure... now you'll probably tell me that the letter Z can do things that S can't?

• Michael Jackson's 11th Plastic Surgery - some say it was better than the 10th, if you go for that "a cougar mauled my face" look.
• Flotsom - Far inferior to jetsam.
• Skim Milk - Would you like a few drops of milk with your water?

 

[freakygirl]

Hey my car alarm saves me alot of money on my car insurance.

And it's never gone off at 3am

 

[Starblayde]

I think CC and the sunshine band doesnt flow as well off the tongue

 

[Azwed]

Low Jacking and/or the various products that actually disable a cars ignition are so much better then a car alarm.

Oh and I take offense to removing the letter Z. I need that letter.

 

[unclej]

hey, don't be doggin' K...last name starts with K and if we did away with it what the hell would i do with all these monogrammed bowling shirts...these succers are expensive...

 

[Dillinger]

They actually still give discounts on insurance for car alarms where you live? Geez - you know, in NYC they're considering a law to pay people to have them removed.

CC and the Sunshine Band works for me. Sounds like they could have Godley and Creme be their new from people and up their sperm count.

Somehow all this reminds me of a joke:

Some snails were having a race, pretending to be motor-cars. The audience was having trouble telling the contestants apart, so they each painted a letter on their shell. As the race progressed, one snail in the audience turned to his neighbor and said, "Wow, look at the 'S' car go!"

 

[Ice Cold]

People who set their clocks a few minutes ahead so they won't run late. Can't you just set the alarm earlier?

 

[freakygirl]

Low Jacking and/or the various products that actually disable a cars ignition are so much better then a car alarm.

Oh and I take offense to removing the letter Z. I need that letter.

mine is a system that disables the cars ignition and sounds an alarm

I can also set it to start my car automaticly (or with a push of a button on the key ring) then you have to put the key in the ignition in order to drive it.

 

[Dillinger]

OK... OK... sorry about the damn letters... but can we at least agree on Kenny G?

Here's some more:

• E=MC2 - the worst rapper ever.
• Windchill Factor - if it feels like it's 10 degrees out there, then isn't it 10 degrees out there?
• Prohibition - What the blue fuck were they thinking?

 

[lilminx]

Hey! I quite prefer the letter K to C. Take it back, you meanie.

My thoughts as well!

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[patient1]

CC and the Sunshine Band works for me. Sounds like they could have Godley and Creme be their new from people and up their sperm count.

I don't understand. Is that second one an actual sentence?

 

[Cheyenne]

Hey! I quite prefer the letter K to C. Take it back, you meanie.

Yeah! So there!

 

[Dillinger]

I guess I was being obtuse, patient1. It actually makes sense when put in context.

Godley and Creme were the creative force behind the band 10CC. The band got its name based on the fact that 9CC is the average amount ejaculated by a male during orgasm. By calling themselves 10CC they were basically saying that they were "one up" on everyone else.
---------

Oh... there was also a typo in the second sentence.. it should have read "front people" not "from people."

 

[scylis]

• elevator music - it's not bad enough that you get shoved into a cramped space with a bunch of people that you'd rather avoid, oh no! they have to go and throw in shitty music made by a cheap-ass synthisizer!
• spam - (the junk email, not the canned meat) does anybody actually believe any of that shit?
• the platypus - i mean, look at the thing! it's like a duck and a beaver got super drunk and had an illicit leason or something!

 

[Dillinger]

• The Appendix - don't trust any organ whose only apparent function is to burst without warning and kill us.
• Lead Paint - why did they make something so deadly so delicious?
• Aromatherapy - That sandlewood extract smells so nice it must be curing my inoperable brain cancer!

 

[Laurel]

They actually still give discounts on insurance for car alarms where you live? Geez - you know, in NYC they're considering a law to pay people to have them removed.

My insurance gives discounts if you have lojack installed on your car.

• visors (if you're going to wear a hat, wear a damn hat)
• dog sweaters (if you didn't shave your damn poodle down, he wouldn't NEED a sweater)
• any syrup flavor at IHOP other than maple (they always have like 6 containers full of goo - what the hell are the other 5??)

 

[Dillinger]

• Milli Vanilli
• Shot Put - "Chuck this metal ball over there? OK. Did I win?
• Olestra - Now you can eat potato chips without guilt - as long as you don't mind sliding down a banister in an oily streak of your own.

Hey scylis re: the Platypus - guess the name "fucked-up duck-beaver thing" wasn't scientific enough for some people. *grin*

 

[Mistress]

The directions on the back of the plastic food gloves at work....

We have them so that we dont have to wash our hands after fixing sandwhiches and so on every single time in order to keep our hands from getting chapped badly. Yet the directions tell you to wash hands before and after use of the gloves.....I mean WTF? They are for food use right?

 

[Purple Haze]

Crotchless Panties: Goes with Laurel's visor theory

Anything labeled "collectable"

Toys included with "Happy Meals": Just eat your fucking food, please?

Rebates: Anybody that works retail knows.

One Hour Photo: You just saw it, for Christ's sake.

Mushrooms: Rubbery things that add zero flavor and five dollars to your tab.

Pop up windows: Yeah sure, I'll join.

Sports Interviews: Just run the fucking ball, I don't care what you're thinking.

LaMazz: It doesn't work!

Non-Alcoholic Beer: Is this for people who just like to urinate?

Cybering: Isn't the telephone still a better way? Call me old-fashioned.

 

[Lost Cause]

Mandatory Motorcycle Helmets- The insurance industry contorted facts to make lawmakers believe they work all the time.
*1. You cannot wear a motorcycle helmet in a car..according to the "experts" it impedes your vision and hearing! So let's make someone on two wheels wear it for "safety"!
*2. A five pound helmet at fifty-five miles per hour in an accident, generates two hundred pounds of cervical torque to the head!
*3. After California passed their mandatory helmet law, registrations dropped thirty-three percent....neck injuries went up five hundred and seventy percent!

**Yeah, I got a beef with this stoopid thing.**
"Let those who ride decide!"

 

[Weird Harold]

Sure sure sure... now you'll probably tell me that the letter Z can do things that S can't?

If it weren't for the Letter Z, everyone named Zoe would get stampeded by pigs every time their mother called them.