The most profoundly I have ever been affected by reading a story

[TheExperimentalist]

The story is Inescapable Pleasure by Seracae.

It's a self-bondage forced orgasm story written in first-person perspective. I've put anything that alludes to plot points behind spoiler tags, but you may still want to read the story before continuing to avoid whatever any minor descriptions or context might give away.

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Twice before, (ETA: in very different categories,) I've read stories on here that have emotionally affected me beyond the end of the story. That's not to say that there haven't been stories that moved me. I've laughed, I've cried, I've-- well... you know, the usual-- but I'm talking about stories that had a deep emotional effect, where I really had to process what almost felt like a new reality. It's a rare thing for a story to be able to do, which is why it only happened twice: Once during the two decades of guilty phase when I 'wasn't supposed to be reading this', and the other in the past couple of years after I'd largely rid myself of all that self-judgement.

Neither of those experiences came anywhere close to this one. I commented on the story page itself shortly after I finished reading it, but now that I've had a couple of hours to process, I'll post it here too (with a minor grammatical correction and spoiler redaction) because it bears repeating:

I think this is, without exaggeration or hyperbole, the single most intense story I have ever read. The visceral descriptions of everything she was feeling along the way spoke to my very soul and had me identifying with her more than any other character I've ever read. My mind was alternating between wanting to BE her, to actually experience the things she was describing, and as I lost myself in the narrative. Each time, I would mentally pull myself out of it, just slightly, before it happened it all over again. I legitimately became as I read, though it was overshadowed by extreme arousal, just like the character in the story. had me tearing up from some emotion I couldn't even begin to name.

I just can't believe this author never wrote anything else.

I think part of why it has affected me so deeply is because of the aforementioned dance my own mind was doing as I read it, which, the more I think about it, the more I realize parallels the ebb and flow that the character herself was going through, in many ways. Like the character, . Like her, , in my case reading it for the first time, and . And like her, .

Am I just crazy, or has anyone else felt this way, about this or any other story?

 

[joy_of_cooking]

@Seracae was on the forums for a while and I think she mentioned feeling a bit trapped by her own success. Like, she wanted to write a worthy sequel but couldn't. It's a real shame. I agree that it's quite the story and I would love to read anything else from her, on that theme or any other.

 

[joy_of_cooking]

Yes, here we go:

I've tried to write completely unrelated stories, and the ideas are certainly there, but wanting to do something more with Inescapable has acted as a creative roadblock for years now. So some part of me really does want to give it a shot, and even a dismal failure would at least unblock the pipeline.

 

[joy_of_cooking]

Seracae, if you're reading this: we don't care! Just write anything else! I'm rooting for you!

 

[TheExperimentalist]

@Seracae was on the forums for a while and I think she mentioned feeling a bit trapped by her own success. Like, she wanted to write a worthy sequel but couldn't. It's a real shame. I agree that it's quite the story and I would love to read anything else from her, on that theme or any other.

Yes, here we go:

That is, unfortunately, understandable. I've seen it happen to people who have had instant success in many other creation spaces, and it's absolutely soul-searing.

The most sadly ironic part is that (Of course now I'm tearing up for a completely different reason.)

 

[TheExperimentalist]

Seracae, if you're reading this: we don't care! Just write anything else! I'm rooting for you!

I agree. I can entirely understand her desire to expand upon a story that she clearly put her heart and soul into (or at least, drew the hearts and souls of her readers into), but I think that it ONLY works as a standalone, single installment. I think any attempt to follow up would undermine the original.

I also JUST realized, as I was writing the previous paragraph, another part of why it affected me so deeply. It's precisely BECAUSE that left me with that shifted reality feeling. is absolutely gut-wrenching. Her choices are . And worse,

I guess what I'm saying (and this is yet another realization that JUST hit me as I was writing this and examining these feelings) is that . I think that's what makes it feel so real, and so . Because the way it's written left me .

I wouldn't want a sequel. I just want another story, with a different character and a different premise, written with even half as much care, attention, and realism as this one.

 

[AG31]

You seem to be limiting your question to stories on Lit, but I do want to share the story that meets all your other criteria (or just your other criterion). It's Enslaving Eli, by billierosie. It's far and away the bit of erotica that best pushes all my buttons. I'm mentioning it here in hopes that someone has read it and will share their impressions, or that someone knows what happened to billierosie that all her erotica was removed from the internet anywhere, as far as I can see. Fortunately I have Enslaving Eli on my Kindle. I took the trouble to type it into Word so I could share it. (I know, I know. Maybe I'll find out what happened when she sues me.)

 

[TheExperimentalist]

You seem to be limiting your question to stories on Lit, but I do want to share the story that meets all your other criteria (or just your other criterion). It's Enslaving Eli, by billierosie. It's far and away the bit of erotica that best pushes all my buttons. I'm mentioning it here in hopes that someone has read it and will share their impressions, or that someone knows what happened to billierosie that all her erotica was removed from the internet anywhere, as far as I can see. Fortunately I have Enslaving Eli on my Kindle. I took the trouble to type it into Word so I could share it. (I know, I know. Maybe I'll find out what happened when she sues me.)

I know nothing about billierosie or the story you mention. Would it be alright to ask you to elaborate a bit on what you experienced while reading it? Was your experience anything like mine?

 

[AG31]

I know nothing about billierosie or the story you mention. Would it be alright to ask you to elaborate a bit on what you experienced while reading it? Was your experience anything like mine?

My experience was more erotic than emotional, but the eroticism was associated with some part of me that is very deep and often not erotic at all. I've explored this in numerous threads here on Lit. Check out my bio for the genesis of this interest.

 

[THBGato]

Twice before, (ETA: in very different categories,) I've read stories on here that have emotionally affected me beyond the end of the story.

Only twice? I've got a list of total tearjerkers that is currently sixty six stories long.

The why is for a variety of reasons, first and foremost of which is that I'm a big softie AND this is what I read on Literotica for: to be moved emotionally. The stories are often tales of redemption, of second chances, of friendship, of overcoming grief, of support. All make me cry happy tears.

 

[TheExperimentalist]

Only twice? I've got a list of total tearjerkers that is currently sixty six stories long.

The why is for a variety of reasons, first and foremost of which is that I'm a big softie AND this is what I read on Literotica for: to be moved emotionally. The stories are often tales of redemption, of second chances, of friendship, of overcoming grief, of support. All make me cry happy tears.

I'm not talking about stories that make me feel. I've cried more times than I can count, along with many various other emotions. Those stories are absolutely wonderful, and what I'm looking for the overwhelming majority of the time, but I'm talking about something deeper here.

I'm talking about stories that shake your foundation, stories that you need to learn how to live with, stories that you're still thinking about days, weeks, or months after you first read them, trying to cope with the world as they've reshaped it for you. THAT kind of story, I've only encountered twice, (well, thrice now, and like I said, the first two paled in comparison).

 

[THBGato]

I'm not talking about stories that make me feel. I've cried more times than I can count, along with many various other emotions. Those stories are absolutely wonderful, and what I'm looking for the overwhelming majority of the time, but I'm talking about something deeper here.

I'm talking about stories that shake your foundation, stories that you need to learn how to live with, stories that you're still thinking about days, weeks, or months after you first read them, trying to cope with the world as they've reshaped it for you. THAT kind of story, I've only encountered twice, (well, thrice now, and like I said, the first two paled in comparison).

Oh, okay, fair enough.

For me it was "Girlfriends" by Holly Bourne, which nearly caused a breakdown, and led to lots of deep conversations with my wife re-examining our past behaviour in the light of the book. The sales pitch calls it funny. It wasn't funny. Not at all.

"Animal farm" messed me up as a kid. I think up until that point I'd always expected the 'good guys' to 'win'. So when I got to the last page, I was like "but wait, where's the rest? Where's the bit where Benjamin and Clover turn the pigs out?"