The "Michelangelo Poetry" Game

[darkmaas]

Poetry is like a painting
or a symphony
built up in layers,
nuanced,
highlighted,
‘til it pleases.

No poet,
Michelangelo,
believed the sculptor’s goal
was to take away
the useless stone
until “David” stood before you.

What if poets
starting with the dictionary
rejected words until a poem
stood before us?

Or took a piece of random prose
subtracting words until
only a poem was left.

Alas
the dictionary has too many words
but just for fun
(as this is literotica)
take any post
and strip away
useless words
until ...
erotic verse
stands
naked.

 

[destinie21]

Poetry is like a painting

nuanced,
highlighted,

Alas
the dictionary has too many words


useless words
that stand
naked.

not the best but what are you going to do lol
pS: this is also known as found poetry and because it's a mutation of an idea it's not plagerism. In anycase if you use actual prose it's a good idea to sight it.

 

[darkmaas]

By way of example, I have chosen a post by Maria2394 (because I know she is too nice to hit me). The original post (about writing implements) is quoted below and then the “Michelangelo” that lurked therein is shown.

I dont mean for this to sound, well, kinky, but I like the way certain types of pens feel in my hand,the Pentel RSVP ( thats my purple pen) is nice and some of the electro glide roller balls are great, especially with fast dry ink. My handwriting has deteriorated over the years, have no idea why. And school shopping definitely loses its fun after two kids, really, the sound of the screams in the notebook aisles at Wal-mart, well, its terrifying, neo, you can take my 14 year old next year, she only spent 75$ on *supplies* this semester, I got off really easy, I think

Easy

I dont mean
to sound
kinky, but
I like the way
certain types
feel in my hand
electro glide
roller balls
fun
the sound of screams
I got off
easy.

 

[darkmaas]

Destinie21 said:

not the best but what are you going to do lol

Au contraire! I am tickled.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

too many words

known
found
useless
naked

poetry is a mutation
poetry is an idea

 

[darkmaas]

Laughing

useless
naked

poetry

 

[destinie21]

Just to lengthen the thread every once in a while someone will
have to produce a rant so as the others can have something to glean from. I have elected myself and as the election commitee I unanomously approve.

I could sit here
all night and spill words all over this paper
like sacrificial blood on
On a pagan alter
And idolize the god
That is my word processor
omnipotent in it’s
Spell and grammar check

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Idolize your God

spell your sacrificial blood
spill on the pagan altar

the omnipotent
                      Word





Seed:
In his hotel room, a white minimalist space, anonymous and functionalist to the core, the only reminder of a real, textured world was a large Victorian mirror in a crumbling frame that leaned against a wall, the blemished silver surface a witness of its antiquity. It took him three quarters of an hour in front of it to choose his outfit, because there always seemed to be some detail demolishing the combination. Red serge trousers, white shirt, light brown suede shoes. Fuck.

 

[Angeline]

Ok, I'll play

Just to lengthen the thread every once in a while someone will
have to produce a rant so as the others can have something to glean from. I have elected myself and as the election commitee I unanomously approve.

I could sit here
all night and spill words all over this paper
like sacrificial blood on
On a pagan alter
And idolize the god
That is my word processor
omnipotent in it’s
Spell and grammar check

Is this how I do it?


lengthen

someone will
lengthen
something

omnipotent
produce something
spill

I could
idolize something
all night

I could
unanimously approve.

 

[darkmaas]

Seed:
In his hotel room, a white minimalist space, anonymous and functionalist to the core, the only reminder of a real, textured world was a large Victorian mirror in a crumbling frame that leaned against a wall, the blemished silver surface a witness of its antiquity. It took him three quarters of an hour in front of it to choose his outfit, because there always seemed to be some detail demolishing the combination. Red serge trousers, white shirt, light brown suede shoes. Fuck. [/B]

hotel room
white
annonymous

to the core
large
against a wall
took him
red

 

[Angeline]

Another...

He sighed profoundly and flung himself--the was a passion in his movements which deserves the word--on the earth at the foot of the oak tree. He loved, beneath all this summer transiency, to feel the earth's spine beneath him; for such he took the hard root of the oak tree to be; or, for image followed image, it was the back of a great horse that he was riding; or the deck of a tumbling ship--it was anything indeed, so long as it was hard, for he felt the need of something he could attach his floating heart to; the heart that tugged at his side; the heart that seemed filled with spiced and amorous gales every evening about this time when he walked out. To the oak tree he tied it and as he lay there, gradually the flutter in and about him stilled itself; the little leaves hung; the deer stopped; the pale summer clouds stayed; his limbs grew heavy on the ground; and he lay so still that by the degrees the deer stepped nearer and the rooks wheeled round him and the swallows dipped and circled and the dragon-flies shot past, as if all the fertility and amorous activity of a summer's evening were woven web-like about his body.

Virginia Woolf
~from Orlando


he sighed
passion deserves
a transiency of movements
beneath hard root

he loved
the need of
riding
his movements reeled
dipped and circled
profoundly tumbling
the earth's spine
beneath this transiency

image
followed
spice tugged
image
followed
amorous floating
image

flutter


gradually stilled
he lay there
limbs heavy
the evening web-like
around his body

 

[Angeline]

and for the lovely ms hynde

whom I know went for the most difficult passage she could find--vis a vis this exercise that is.

ok. i stand corrected, hehe.

In his hotel room, a white minimalist space, anonymous and functionalist to the core, the only reminder of a real, textured world was a large Victorian mirror in a crumbling frame that leaned against a wall, the blemished silver surface a witness of its antiquity. It took him three quarters of an hour in front of it to choose his outfit, because there always seemed to be some detail demolishing the combination. Red serge trousers, white shirt, light brown suede shoes. Fuck.

anonymous fuck
functionalist

the world leaned
against space

anonymous
a minimalist mirror

only surface
textured the combination

 

[darkmaas]

He sighed profoundly and flung himself--the was a passion in his movements which deserves the word--on the earth at the foot of
the oak tree. He loved, beneath all this summer transiency, to feel the earth's spine beneath him; for such he took the hard root of
the oak tree to be; or, for image followed image, it was the back of a great horse that he was riding; or the deck of a tumbling
ship--it was anything indeed, so long as it was hard, for he felt the need of something he could attach his floating heart to; the
heart that tugged at his side; the heart that seemed filled with spiced and amorous gales every evening about this time when he
walked out. To the oak tree he tied it and as he lay there, gradually the flutter in and about him stilled itself; the little leaves
hung; the deer stopped; the pale summer clouds stayed; his limbs grew heavy on the ground; and he lay so still that by the
degrees the deer stepped nearer and the rooks wheeled round him and the swallows dipped and circled and the dragon-flies shot
past, as if all the fertility and amorous activity of a summer's evening were woven web-like about his body.

Virginia Woolf
~from Orlando


Woolf-ku

passion hard riding
pale heavy on the ground
then he lay so still

 

[OT]

What if poets
starting with the dictionary
rejected words until a poem
stood before us?
...
Alas
the dictionary has too many words

Back when I was young and foolish, I tried it with Alphabetical Quickie

amorous blending
copulating desire
erotic fondling
guiltless hunger
insatiable joy
kissing lips
magnificently naughty
orgasmic pleasure
quivering rendezvous
sensuously thrusting
unbridled variations
wonderful xxx
yearning zenith

And from Lauren's seed, I'll offer :

anonymous

his core
textured
blemished

witness
him

 

[champagne1982]

You did mean any thread?

Demons

Floating around me must be the hundreds of demons that follow my lonely existence, each with their own name and certificate of birth. Bred and born for the simple reason to record, not cause, the shortcomings and transgressions that widdle and carve my life from beginning to end. I can just see them, not fearsome, or ferocious looking, but prudish and full of purpose. Instead of forked tales they have pens, instead of horns clipboards. Their glasses pushed tightly up their sharp noses, ceaselessly writing and recording every wrong move I make, for if God forgets every sin, hell must record them.

I wonder if she can see them, or feel their hounding presence around me. She was so interested then seemingly on impulse she left, before the small talk could even begin.

Existence

Floating demons follow my name,
Simple transgressions carve my end,
Not fearsome
But full of tales.

Horns sharp and wrong,
See them, feel me.
Seemingly,
Begin.

 

[Maria2394]

originally posted by smithpeter

i picture me in a smoking jacket
pipe in hand
not puffing
just posing with words in a bubble

ahh,
what pleasure this is to write and be a free man and full of myself,
the writer I always
wanted to be near and now
my dream comes true
I am nearer me then ever

oh a couple a day I suppose

picture me smoking
in a bubble
puffing words
posing
I am my dream
I suppose

[size=small] please forgive the mutilation, dear SP[/size]
****************

 

[Maria2394]

for d h

originally posted by denis hale

I always vote. Voting is fun. It makes me feel like a panel judge, flipping his stenciled placard as the crowd moans, shrieks and sighs--getting off. More people should get hip to the simple satisfaction of raising your Tiny Voice into the Void! Apathy is a canker sore, people! Voting is Listerine!

I like your game, darkmaas, so I was up late, bored and thought I would play with, um, by myself oh yeah, I'm picking on dh tonite, this is from the thread on voting
*****************
I always feel
like getting off
shrieks,sighs
and moans
flipping and raising
satisfaction is
a sore hip
people


( spank me later, denis)

 

[darkmaas]

Maria

Glad you are having fun annoying poor denis. Hopefully he will retaliate.

 

[The_Fool]

Originally posted by Angeline for her Woo-Woo experience

Baby, don't fight
Dim the light
It's way too bright
in here
Not conducive to
lighting your candle
I fear

What scent will tempt?
Perhaps some LaLiz?
Diamonds and Lace
ou Eau de Diva
could waft dimly through
our intime space
our cozy boudoir
so sweet and flowery
yes a bit overpowery
but de Diva
always makes me want to

croon your swoon
curl your spoon
toujours bebe
under le full moon
if you know what I mean

Just to set your scene up right
I'm gonna oh baby baby
your Barry White
in my very special

Frederick's faux satin
maribou nylon fusty
baby doll a little you know
sluttily lusty
so I'll be

oh
oh

so
so

bad

bad

girl


how low
would you like
me to go
for you?






What she actually meant to say…

Baby, don't fight
Dim the light
What scent will tempt?
so sweet and flowery
always makes me want to
curl your spoon
if you know what I mean
Just set your scene
in my very special
baby doll
sluttily lusty
so I'll be
oh so bad.
bad girl
how low
would you like me to go
for you?




*ducking*

 

[Angeline]

What she actually meant to say…

Baby, don't fight
Dim the light
What scent will tempt?
so sweet and flowery
always makes me want to
curl your spoon
if you know what I mean
Just set your scene
in my very special
baby doll
sluttily lusty
so I'll be
oh so bad.
bad girl
how low
would you like me to go
for you?




*ducking*

Ok. *Now* you're in trouble. I gotta do this exercise with your revision of my own poem? That is irresistable, lol.

you tempt me

you always make me
want to set your scene
in dim light
and be your doll
your sweet bad girl
curl lusty low

you know me

your so special
bad bad baby

baby
oh you know
what I mean

 

[The_Fool]

Ok. *Now* you're in trouble. I gotta do this exercise with your revision of my own poem? That is irresistable, lol.

you tempt me

you always make me
want to set your scene
in dim light
and be your doll
your sweet bad girl
curl lusty low

you know me

your so special
bad bad baby

baby
oh you know
what I mean

you tempt me

you always make me
want you
sweet bad girl
your so special
bad bad baby

baby
oh you know
what I mean

 

[Angeline]

you tempt me

you always make me
want you
sweet bad girl
your so special
bad bad baby

baby
oh you know
what I mean

I know
what you mean

oh you

you make me
bad baby

so bad



(LOL--soon we'll have it down to one word )

 

[perks]

I know
what you mean

oh you

you make me
bad baby

so bad



(LOL--soon we'll have it down to one word )

Know
what you mean
Make
me bad, baby

this doesn't feel like poetry anymore, staaaaaaht ovah, staaaaaht ovah

 

[Angeline]

Know
what you mean
Make
me bad, baby

this doesn't feel like poetry anymore, staaaaaaht ovah, staaaaaht ovah

you bad
baby



LOL! I know. Sometime last night it stopped being poetry and became a seedy conversation. Haha.

anyway, it's all darkmaas's fault

 

[darkmaas]

I am highly offended!

Angeline said:

LOL! I know. Sometime last night it stopped being poetry and became a seedy conversation. Haha.

anyway, it's all darkmaas's fault

Your comment implies that there is no poetry in seedy conversation. I thought that that issue was thoroughly and utterly resolved in past threads.

As the author of the zen poem, B, you of all people should not be critical of concise poetry.

Respectfully as always,

darkmaas