"the message of the crystal skull"

[rae121452]

was the title of a 1989 book that i read tonight. in the 60's, i was really fascinated by the crystal skulls. this book claims they are from atlantis. atlantis, if it existed at all, was santorini and a donovan song. the book also said you have to talk to your crystal. fuck, i don't even want to talk to my SO or my relatives! but i still have a crystal skull that i like to wear as a necklace.

and another thing. the main, most relevant crystal skull used to be known as 'the skull of doom'. at least, until new agers came along. now it has positive energies that are all kinds of beneficial. don't let those fuckers around the hope diamond, i love a good curse.

 

[pecksniff]

Crystal Skull:

As previously mentioned, most skulls are claimed to be pre-Colombian Mesoamerican artifacts which sat undiscovered until the 19th century. However, as more skulls were found, investigations were done to determine their exact origin. The results won't surprise you if you've been reading this article: they are all fake. This was determined by researchers in two ways: one, by examining the details of the skull and determining that the details and methods of carving could not have been done by Mesoamericans, as they did not have sufficient tools; and two, by examining the chlorite inclusions, which revealed that the very quartz the skulls are made of is only found in Brazil and Madagascar. Many of the existing skulls came from a workshop in Germany and used this Brazilian quartz. [4] Skulls such as these ones were often distributed by art dealers; in fact, the Mitchell-Hedges skull, arguably the most famous existing crystal skull (other than the Indiana Jones one), did not come from a temple in Belize as was claimed by Anna Mitchell-Hedges, but was acquired from London art dealer Sydney Burney (though how he got it remains a mystery). Mitchell-Hedges alleged that she found the skull while at an expedition with her father F.A. Mitchell-Hedges in 1924, and that it had magic powers;[note 1] the skull, nor Anna's presence, are mentioned in Mitchell-Hedges' notes, which is telling. Additionally, a letter to Mitchell-Hedges' brother in 1943 details that he got the skull from Burney at a Sotheby's auction.

Despite this, the authenticity remained unknown. Frank Dorland, an art restorer, examined the Mitchell-Hedges skull in the 1970s and somehow theorized it could be up to 12,000 years old, which, if it were, would completely nix the theory that the Mayans or Aztecs made it. The skull was examined again by the Hewlitt-Packard crystal labs, and then a third time in 2007 by Anna Mitchell-Hedges' surviving husband. Both examinations established what we now know about the skulls: they were manmade, recent, and not magic. Other skulls, including the Smithsonian, Paris, and British Museum skulls have been subject to similar examinations and all concluded to have been made no earlier than 1740.[note 2]

Even despite all the evidence pointing against it, many documentaries about the secret magic of the skulls. SyFy, Discovery, and the History Channel made the most prevalent and watched of these back in the day.[note 3] Theories discussed in these docs ranged from connecting the skulls to the 2012 apocalypse to Atlantis to unironic anti-gravity claims. When exactly aliens came into the picture is uncertain, though it's not unreasonable to believe that the extraterrestrial theory only gained attraction after Indiana Jones 4.[note 4]

Also, Dan Aykroyd has his own vodka brand called Crystal Head, which comes in skull-shaped bottles and draws on the legend of the crystal skulls.[5] There's so much woo there that it deserves its own article debunking it.

 

[rae121452]

i have two of (empty) crystal head vodka bottles sitting on my kitchen mantel. the last time i was at the liquor store they had the bottles now in black, too, which isn't nearly as interesting.

 

[PaxNurgle]

I thought there was an actual real crystal skull somewhere, it was stored at Area 51 in Nevada until some Russian agents tried to steal it. It supposably was a genuine alien artifact, from some ancient city in Brazil somewhere where there was a buried flying saucer. I remember seeing some documentary about it.

 

[doowdniw]

I have a couple of crystal skull shot glasses, but rarely use them. They were handouts at a vodka tasting.