The Lows of BDSM

[SilkVelvet]

I just got rejected by a sadist, which seems a low point in my life so far LOL .. so am wondering what the lows have been for other people and did the situation you were in improve and get better ?

As a sub, where do you find the strength to keep searching for a Master, for example ? Or if a Dom(me), do you ever get unDomly depression over not having a sub of your own ?

for anyone in need of them

xx

 

[HottieMama]

Low: After a LD relationship, and then finally meeting and spending time together once i moved here to Kansas, "Daddy" told me i wasn't "worth it..." because i shared with him some difficulties/struggles i am having. For fuck's sake, i just moved halfway across the country...Who wouldn't have a few issues? And it's not like i was just dumping on him. i listenened to him bitch every day about his job or whatever.

As for improvement...Calling him a heartless bastard helped. Realizing that just because he likes the Daddy title doesn't mean he is one helped too. Other than that it's still too fresh, and i do still love him.

 

[WriterDom]

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Kahlil Gibran



Smacking a blindfolded sub in the forehead with a spreader bar was probably my lowest point. Knowing she laughs about it now helps.

 

[FurryFury]

Low: After a LD relationship, and then finally meeting and spending time together once i moved here to Kansas, "Daddy" told me i wasn't "worth it..." because i shared with him some difficulties/struggles i am having. For fuck's sake, i just moved halfway across the country...Who wouldn't have a few issues? And it's not like i was just dumping on him. i listenened to him bitch every day about his job or whatever.

As for improvement...Calling him a heartless bastard helped. Realizing that just because he likes the Daddy title doesn't mean he is one helped too. Other than that it's still too fresh, and i do still love him.

I'm so sorry.

That really sucks.

You moved for him?

Did you take your partner and kids with you as well?

*HUG*

Fury

 

[FurryFury]

I just got rejected by a sadist, which seems a low point in my life so far LOL .. so am wondering what the lows have been for other people and did the situation you were in improve and get better ?

As a sub, where do you find the strength to keep searching for a Master, for example ? Or if a Dom(me), do you ever get unDomly depression over not having a sub of your own ?

for anyone in need of them

xx

Mostly my lows have been self induced. I'm either beating up on myself emotionally, thinking time is running out for me or whatever. I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and accept what is instead of what I want to be the is-ness.

The situation improves when I do that. I can find a sense of peace at times.

I am not looking for a Dom but if I were I would at times withdraw from the search when I was tired and fed up. We all need those times to repair and restore our spirits.

The online Dom I have now came about during one of those down times. I had just about given up and was preparing to pull my head in for a while. I still gave him a chance to let me know what he had in mind and find out about him and BOY am I glad I did.

Most of my hook ups, online and in real life have been when I wasn't looking and surprises to me. Sometimes good surprises and sometimes bad. LOL.

*hug * for you!

Hang on, things will get better. Take GOOD care of yourself.

Fury

 

[Ebonyfire]

Stuff Happens

My long term slave decided to become vanilla, and my next slave had a nervous breakdown (work induced).

Women submissives are not the only ones who have issues.

Eb

 

[HottieMama]

I'm so sorry.

That really sucks.

You moved for him?

Did you take your partner and kids with you as well?

*HUG*

Fury

No..the move was planned before i met him. Partner and kids are here too.
He's a complete and utter asshole, and i'm just glad i didn't meet him here on Lit...so at least i was able to come back "home" and feel comfortable, you know?

i'm on a LLLLLOOOONNNNNNGGGGGGGG break. i need to find some peace before i find anything else.

 

[FurryFury]

No..the move was planned before i met him. Partner and kids are here too.
He's a complete and utter asshole, and i'm just glad i didn't meet him here on Lit...so at least i was able to come back "home" and feel comfortable, you know?

i'm on a LLLLLOOOONNNNNNGGGGGGGG break. i need to find some peace before i find anything else.

I'm glad to hear the move was already planned. It's great that your partner and kids are with you!

I'm glad you have Lit to come home too as well.

I hope you find your peace soon.

*HUG*

Fury

 

[shy slave]

BDSM Lows.

When my ex vanished without explanation. I felt I was in someway a 'bad' person and a bad submissive because of it.
He turned up 1.5 years later and explained.
But when it happened I was very new to BDSM and it was one hell of a shock.
I had tried very hard to be the sub he wanted, wore make-up, seamed stockings, stopped swearing, endured pain beyond what I was comfortable with; yet he still vanished.

When Andante has been working long days/nights is highly stressed and all I can think about is 'when will he beat me, hurt me, make more space in his life for me, spend 'real' time with me.
It makes me bad tempered, cranky and a bitch. Then I hate myself for not being supportive, understanding and ok about how things are at the time.
It does not make me a good slave/sub or person to be around.
My GP says it is hormonal due to shock, he may be right, or I may be a bitch when life does not have a huge D/s or BDSM input.


Sometimes I wonder who in their right mind would put up with me (although I do a great blow job)

 

[Bandit58]

The times when Master isn't well can get pretty low sometimes......I wish I didn't have to be the one in charge, and I worry too much

But I love the times when I am in His arms, doesn't even have to be after sex or a scene, although those are great too. It's when I feel safe, and cherished, and loved to bits

 

[Netzach]

Crohn's flareup for a year, my first. A year of high dose steroids. BDSM has never had the same priority to me as it did before that. Maturity, I think, facing the sobering reality that life is more than elaborate ways to get laid. I'm beginning to get back into that mental state though that likes to tease, humiliate, punish, all that fun stuff.

 

[intothewoods]

Failed marriage.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Wow... Huge {{{{{{HUG}}}}}} for anyone who needs it (but particularly for Silk and Hottie)

My BDSM low point?

When I lost my slave because I wanted to go realtime 24/7 instead of long distance, and she chose to remain in the OL realm to pursue someone who was later proved to be a total, absolute, utter 100% pure fraud.

However, that low point freed me to seek my happiness elsewhere and with others who DID want 24/7 and allowed me to find janey.

The future is an undiscovered country, what treasures we will find there are beyond measure and worth!

 

[LadyAria]

 

[Perfect_Trust]

Wow... Huge {{{{{{HUG}}}}}} for anyone who needs it (but particularly for Silk and Hottie)

My BDSM low point?

When I lost my slave because I wanted to go realtime 24/7 instead of long distance, and she chose to remain in the OL realm to pursue someone who was later proved to be a total, absolute, utter 100% pure fraud.

However, that low point freed me to seek my happiness elsewhere and with others who DID want 24/7 and allowed me to find janey.

The future is an undiscovered country, what treasures we will find there are beyond measure and worth!

I can identify with Geoff's post. My knee jerk reaction was to post how bad I felt when meeting an OL Dom who turned out to be a vanilla snert looking for a quick leg over. I beat myself up over it for a long time. I have a philosophy that everyone we meet has a purpose in our lives, only I couldn't see what HIS purpose had been, except to make me feel bad. Now I know what it was; I found Lit, accepted that I CAN find what I want/need despite it not working out that time, & it's helping me keep my frenzied side in check whilst waiting to meet someone new in two weeks.

 

[Trajal]

Lows - Having a stalker internet sub (not mine and I'd never met her) e-mail my mother at work inviting her to our wedding (she'd stolen a business card after having broken into my appartment). Turns out she had some wierd obsession thing going on and was given the treatment she needed after a complaint to the police.

Highs - Moving (lol) and meeting my little princess who is just too perfect for words

 

[FluteMaster]

Failed marriage.

{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

Although the marriage has failed, you haven't

 

[the_pet]

my low.....


being cut loose from my Master because he fell in love with me and didn't want to Dom me anymore because he said i needed to be free and be my own person....


I DIDNT AND DON'T WANT TO BE FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!! (flops to the floor crying)

IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!

I WISH I COULD STOP LOVING HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


(small voice of resignation) i know he's right but this is all i've known
i miss him terribly


sorry to vent
pet

 

[Chicklet]

Smacking a blindfolded sub in the forehead with a spreader bar was probably my lowest point. Knowing she laughs about it now helps.

uhm... ouch.

I've had simliar things happen to me though lol.

 

[Chicklet]

lows: hrm so many lately lol >< the guy i like telling me that he won't give up his fuckbuddy 'cause he doesn't know me well enough, when i don't feel like i can get to know him if he's spending all his free time fucking some other woman. my boyfriend dumping me because i fell asleep one night when he couldn't, after i'd given in to every demand he'd ever made, however unreasonable, because i loved him so much and wanted to be near him whatever the cost.

strength comes from cookies, chocolate, never oatmeal, but sometimes oatmeal raisin cookies.

 

[graceanne]

my low.....


being cut loose from my Master because he fell in love with me and didn't want to Dom me anymore because he said i needed to be free and be my own person....


I DIDNT AND DON'T WANT TO BE FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!! (flops to the floor crying)

IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!

I WISH I COULD STOP LOVING HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


(small voice of resignation) i know he's right but this is all i've known
i miss him terribly


sorry to vent
pet

*hugs*

 

[HottieMama]

my low.....


being cut loose from my Master because he fell in love with me and didn't want to Dom me anymore because he said i needed to be free and be my own person....


I DIDNT AND DON'T WANT TO BE FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!! (flops to the floor crying)

IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!

I WISH I COULD STOP LOVING HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


(small voice of resignation) i know he's right but this is all i've known
i miss him terribly


sorry to vent
pet

Let's throw a tantrum together and then go eat ice cream and oreos!!! Seriously, i'm sorry and i'm going through something similar. if you ever want to talk my PM box is open.

 

[graceanne]

Let's throw a tantrum together and then go eat ice cream and oreos!!! Seriously, i'm sorry and i'm going through something similar. if you ever want to talk my PM box is open.

PITY PARTY! Gotta have ice cream and chocolate and moview where someone dies, like beaches.

 

[oddity83]

*Being told I am not Dom enough.
*Being single for two years is getting a little low.
*Being called a freak once a coworker found out I was into the lifestyle.

 

[the_pet]

I just got rejected by a sadist, which seems a low point in my life so far LOL .. so am wondering what the lows have been for other people and did the situation you were in improve and get better ?

As a sub, where do you find the strength to keep searching for a Master, for example ? Or if a Dom(me), do you ever get unDomly depression over not having a sub of your own ?

for anyone in need of them

xx

I'm sorry SilkVelvet i really didn't answer your question on my first response....

my strength comes from not wanting to live ANY other way so i take the good with the bad as opposed to settling for whatever.


pet