The Labyrinth

[NivKay]

It was 9 am and he knew that the day was going to be a long one. He sensed it the second he awoke and felt a strange stirring in his soul, like something had unseated itself inside him and he could not put it right again.

And he sensed why.

he had seen her, seen her watching him from her desk in the library. The library was subdued, it was the time of the day when the traffic in it was at its lowest. he knew students were out basking in the lovely Sydney summer, stretched out on the expansive lawns of the University, and only the ones who needed to rush through a paper were still working, away from all that sun and warmth. It was also his favourite time to visit the library, do a few last minute call ups of book chapters he needed for the next week's lecture.

But she had been watching him the whole time. Initially, when he first caught her eye, he nodded at her, and turned back to the shelves, but even then, he felt something of her linger in his thoughts - the way she looked, piercing, inquisitive. he had nodded and smiled in acknowledgement, but she had not flinched. A few minutes later, something compelled him to turn her way and look, and there she was, in the same position, watching him. he nodded again.

All she did was stare back at him, perhaps with a hint of a smile on the edges of her lips.

His heart leapt, and his breath caught, and a strange tingling crept through his whole body, his muslces tightened and his pants became rather uncomfortable.

He had sped off, back to his office, and for the rest of the day, on his drive back home, when he joined his wife in the kitchen to make the pasta they had planned that morning to do, she was on his mind.

Now, as he walked out of the lift on the third floor, and made his way to his office, felt a sinking feeling, both strangely frightening, but also intoxicating. His heart leapt again, his breathj coming fast. because standing in the hallway, waiting for him, was that woman again.

 

[MsK2021]

( Library clerk Kay )

It's his face. His eyes. The way he looks at me...That's professor Niv.
We've never had any real conversation other than giving off sneaky eye movements to each other when he comes to the Library. This has been going on for a while now. Long enough for me to sense "His heart leapt, and a strange tingling crept through his whole body, his muslces tightened and his pants became rather uncomfortable."

One day, late at night in my bedroom, the moon hanging by my window looked bluish. I discovered something somewhat surprising. I discovered professor Niv on a sex site. He had a picture of his face on his profile! And he posted a personal ad on the BDSM forum....looking for a Dominant female. literotica.com/threads/50-year-old-male-looking-for-a-dominant-female.

I took a deep breath and didn't sleep well that night.
Several months escaped from a thick cloud at a distance to let me reach a little closer to see better. It was when I responded to his ad. Dominant ? I don't know if I am set in a type. I've been cautious about sticking any labels on my forehead. Labels are only names on the surface. They make people's minds stuck on the surface without investigating what's inside. Many are not reliable, misleading or confusing.

That's right, confusion did ensue. Now I see professor Niv's profile: “I can be quite Dominant with the right person. ..So I suppose I could be a switch?“

So I suppose we don't know who we are.

 

[NivKay]

The walk to the door of his office was onl;y a matter of - he hazarded a guess - 50 steps, and yet, it seemed he was walking a gangplank, walking to some kind of yet unimaginable demise. The usual feeling of feverishness gripped him, the same feeling he got each time he felt intensely anxious, a mechanism of defensiveness.

The light from the window from thje far end of the hallway silhouetted her form, and in this shadowing of her figure, he could not help feeling a strange stirring - excitement? yearning? fear? - he could not tell. As the shadowy form turned to him, he could hardly tell if she was smiling at him, but his instinctive response was to wear a smile that sat uncomfortably across his lips.

For a brief moment, perhaps about 15 steps away from her, he had the strange thought that he knew her, that he had exchanged words with her. Had he? He couldn't keep track of the virtual life, the hidden virtual life he engaged in, his footsteps all across the internet. he brushed the thought away - surely not! Surely no one at the University would stumble across something like that... and yet, he had stumbled onto that site, hadn't he?

He didn't have time to finish that thought, because as he came up to his door, he smiled, and the shadow turned in to a lovely warm face, perhaps a little non-committal, a closed book, or a half-opened one, the wings of its pages fluttering teasingly open, but not fully revealing the words on the page.

-Hello there, he said, his voice calm and assured, his professorial voice, but he knew, he recognised the vibrations in it, the cracks, the brittle scaffolds of his voice's framework.

As he fumbled for the keys to his door, he turned, smiling again.

- Am I in trouble? he said in a chuckle, wanting to make light of the terrifying anxiety that had coiled around him.

 

[MsK2021]

Entering the Labyrinth
The way professor Niv Kumar looks today indicates he is in some kind of trouble. Such a short walk to the door of his office he is stumbling. I could even see his peripheral vision caught me behind in the crowd of students. It speaks volumes, right there, on the spot. He is now 'wearing' a smile. Stiff. A smile is supposed to come from inside, not to be put on from outside.
Pain. A manifestation of internal turmoil.
What's the matter?
What's the woman who works at the library doing here in the hallway to his office?
Well...
My brief interaction with him on the porn site was only one round of back and forth. It takes a true heart-to-heart talk to understand how one gets sucked into a porn site.

The crowd of students dispersed as I approached him closer.
“Professor Kumar, you probably don't know my name. I am Kay. I am the one that answered your personal ad on the internet....It was me....Here's my email address.”
I gave him the piece of paper in my hand andwalked away.

 

[NivKay]

The hallway, the gathering students, their voices echoing in the long hallway, her presence, the note, her voice, firm and precise - these things swirled around him, leaving him unable to speak.

He was shocked to say the least, but also strangely exhilarated. Then fear set in, a kind of trepidation that bordered on a dark thrill, and he felt a stirring again, his pants becoming uncomfortably tight, which embarrassed him, and he looked around to see if anyone noticed.

Fumbling with his keys, he opened the door to his office and stepped in. Only then did his consciousness come to rest on the note, and the events that had led to it.

His mind went back to a week ago, when he had left an add on Literotica, searching for a connection with someone, someone who could lead him, take charge, instruct.

And now, in his hand he held an instruction - an implication to email her, a direct instruction.

And she was from the Library! Suddenly, that building became something more than merely a receptacle for wisdom. It was monstrous darkness, intoxicating and mesmerising. It began to whisper, dark things that only his soul could understand.

At his desk, he opened his email and typed in her email address, but his fingers froze.

She has told him what she wanted. And she knew he would comply. She knew this.

That whole day, he seemed like a man possessed. He went home to his wife, but he was listless, distant. In bed, in the darkness, as she slept beside him, his mind constructed words he knew he would send in an email the next morning.

 

[MsK2021]

It was a simple act of giving you my email address, not a 'direction'. you have a choice to write me an email or not.

At his desk, he opened his email and typed in her email address, but his fingers froze.

His email from whom? Not from me. I don't have his email address.

She has told him what she wanted. And she knew he would comply. She knew this.

I don't think I told him what I wanted. Can you prove it?