The "La Traviata" Punishment

[shereads]

Finally, something on the nightly local news that was worth a smile. A judge in Miami Beach has found a just and effective punishment for young drivers who violate the city's noise ordinance by playing their car stereos loud enough to be heard from more than 100 feet away.

He sentences them to sit in an office near his and listen to two hours of La Traviata on his personal stereo.

So far 400 people have endured the sentence. Sometimes the judge comes in to listen along, and narrates the story behind the music.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

That's clever. Reminds me of my Dad's method of getting my sister to quit slamming doors in the house when she was angry. First the warning. Then a second. Third offense and he removed her bedroom door from its hinges and put it in the garage. She figured he'd never dare...and she went and slammed the bathroom door. Poor idiot took public showers and restroom breaks for a week. Oddly enough, there was very little door slamming in my house from that point on. Unless, of course, it was being done by my mother...

~lucky

 

[shereads]

That's clever. Reminds me of my Dad's method of getting my sister to quit slamming doors in the house when she was angry. First the warning. Then a second. Third offense and he removed her bedroom door from its hinges and put it in the garage. She figured he'd never dare...and she went and slammed the bathroom door. Poor idiot took public showers and restroom breaks for a week. Oddly enough, there was very little door slamming in my house from that point on. Unless, of course, it was being done by my mother...

~lucky

Wisdom is rare.



Your dad should have been a judge. Your mom could be the bailiff.

 

[Seattle Zack]

Here in Seattle, the local McDonalds was complaining to the city authorities about the "ethnically diverse" population that tended to congregate around their downtown location and "intimidated" their potential fat customers. In other words, a lot of the brothers liked to hang out at Third and Pike.

The city was unable to do anything about it, so the McDonalds resorted to playing country music through their outside speakers. LOUD country music. Earsplitting volumes.

It worked for awhile (after all, that cacophany has been known to drive polar bears out of hibernation) but the local residents complained, citing some noise ordinance, and the "scare off the black people with country music" experiment had to be abandoned before the results could be fully analyzed.....

 

[shereads]

It would have kept me away too.



Isn't that how we drove Manuel Noriega from his safe place? Playing loud music of a type that he hated?

It's too ironic to be torture, but it's torture.

What kind of music would keep you away from your favorite lunch spot? I think mine would almost anything by Kenny Rogers, Olivia Newton-John (I HATED the music from Grease, and no, I didn't see the movie, and no, you can't make me); also Abba, or any of the song stylings of Helen Reddy. Muskrat Love by the Captaiin & Tenille would make me lose my lunch right there on the sidewalk; McDonalds might not find that good for business.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

It would have kept me away too.



Isn't that how we drove Manuel Noriega from his safe place? Playing loud music of a type that he hated?

It's too ironic to be torture, but it's torture.

What kind of music would keep you away from your favorite lunch spot? I think mine would almost anything by Kenny Rogers, Olivia Newton-John (I HATED the music from Grease, and no, I didn't see the movie, and no, you can't make me); also Abba, or any of the song stylings of Helen Reddy. Muskrat Love by the Captaiin & Tenille would make me lose my lunch right there on the sidewalk; McDonalds might not find that good for business.

Yanni and Marty Robbins

~lucky

 

[shereads]

Yanni and Marty Robbins

~lucky

Uh-oh. My local McDonalds is planning YanniFest 2004. Better kick the fries habit now, before yours gets the idea.

 

[Guest]

When my sons were younger I simply would not allow their "music" loud enough for me to hear. It was my house and I could not stand most of what they listened to (no, not rap or punky stuff, just really bizazrro screechy noise and voices that did not sound human). They stuck to headphones.

I must play opera, especially Wagner, full blast. I still recall one evening, maybe about 11pm or so, when my son knocked on my bedroom door and said, "Mom, please, I'm trying to study". Wish someone could have taken a photo of me at that moment.

Perdita

p.s. Traviata is a great first opera, very hummable tunes, even to the inexperienced ear. For turning away anyone I'd suggest certain Wagnerian scenes.

 

[SummerMorning]

Gotterdammerung and the Valkyries...

...even tho' Wagner did end up the poster boy for the Nazi movement, I agree - the music still rocks

 

[sanchopanza]

Wagner's corpse should be exhumed and shot in the face. I refuse outright to listen to Wagner and am quite surprised it is suggested here that he is worth listening to.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I heard of some mall that was having trouble with kids hanging around, and they started playing all kinds of anti-kid music trying to drive them away. The stuff that worked the best was Lawrence Welk and other schmaltzy stuff. That was back in the pre-Walkman days, though.

I have two friends who work for a big company that makes hearing-aids, and whenever we pull up to a car that's throbbing with over-driven bass, they just rub their hands together in glee. The hearing-aid business is thriving, and the average age where people start to lose their hearing is dropping precipitously. It used to be that people stopped hearing the high end as they aged, but now everything's going. Today's loud bass is much more damaging than the screaming trebles of the older rock concerts, and they're getting a lot of business from people in their 20's and 30's now.

---dr.M.

 

[oggbashan]

I think the judge must be a Gilbert and Sullivan fan.

The Mikado sings about "Making the punishment fit the crime". I think he prescribed "Spohr and Beethoven".

Og

 

[jfinn]

It would have kept me away too.



Isn't that how we drove Manuel Noriega from his safe place? Playing loud music of a type that he hated?

It's too ironic to be torture, but it's torture.

What kind of music would keep you away from your favorite lunch spot? I think mine would almost anything by Kenny Rogers, Olivia Newton-John (I HATED the music from Grease, and no, I didn't see the movie, and no, you can't make me); also Abba, or any of the song stylings of Helen Reddy. Muskrat Love by the Captaiin & Tenille would make me lose my lunch right there on the sidewalk;

You forgot Michael Bolton.

Jayne

PS I once read a review of Grease that said hearing a song from Olivia Newton-John was like listening to white bread sing.

 

[Guest]

Wagner's corpse should be exhumed and shot in the face. I refuse outright to listen to Wagner and am quite surprised it is suggested here that he is worth listening to.

That is one of the most stupid things I've seen posted on the AH. Wagner was anti-Semitic, but no more than most of his generation. I dare anyone to find anything anti-Semitic in one bar of his music. That Hitler was a fan is beside the point, though I can understand the distaste of the association for many. I know much classical music and opera thoroughly and cannot place any composer higher than Wagner or Beethoven (I am not a Mozartean).

Perdita

edit p.s.: Shame on you, Sanch. Discounting Wagner is like discounting The Merchant of Venice for being anti-Semitic, whereas the anti-Semites in the play are the Christian merchants.

 

[sanchopanza]

I discounted Wagner for being godawful to listen to. Every piece of Wagner is like the last - fucking awful.

Everyone knows the the order of greatest composers is:

Verdi
Beethoven
Puccini
Strauss
Mahler

then Mozart far down - never understand the aesthetic value of Mozart, technically brilliant though hard to listen to.

I can understand why some may refuse to listen to Wagner for ethical reasons but with me it is purely aesthetic.

 

[Guest]

Sanch, I apologize for my presumption. I like your list, but have a different order, and Puccini would not be on it .

Guess I won't be seeing you in Bayreuth .

Perdita

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Gaaaaah!!! What a horrible punishment!

I've heard of "an eye for an eye", but this... I wonder what punishment the judge would give to loiters?

 

[sanchopanza]

The only way La Traviata could be made unbearable for me would be to have somebody sitting next to me and explaining the plot, that and someone sitting next to me and humming Wagner.

 

[lewdandlicentious]

So then Sancho, explain please, if your dislike of Wagner is as you say, "purely aesthetic," why then the comment:

" Wagner's corpse should be exhumed and shot in the face. I refuse outright to listen to Wagner....."

Perdita's presumption was well placed I feel, unlike your comment!!

 

[snooper]

On some railway stations in the UK where vandalism was ap roblem, they played classical music (top of the list the divine Mozart) over loudspeakers and the level of vandalism dropped.

Then the row started over whether the classical music "soothed a savage breast" or whether it drove the yoof away to vandalise elsewhere.

 

[lewdandlicentious]

I'll bump this, to see if we can get a response from Sancho!!!!

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I discounted Wagner for being godawful to listen to. Every piece of Wagner is like the last - fucking awful.

Everyone knows the the order of greatest composers is:

Verdi
Beethoven
Puccini
Strauss
Mahler

then Mozart far down - never understand the aesthetic value of Mozart, technically brilliant though hard to listen to.

I can understand why some may refuse to listen to Wagner for ethical reasons but with me it is purely aesthetic.

I've heard very little opera, but from what I have heard, Wagner is rather heavy and pompous, whereas Mozart is light and playful.

 

[OldnotDead]

brief hijack

That's clever. Reminds me of my Dad's method of getting my sister to quit slamming doors in the house when she was angry. First the warning. Then a second. Third offense and he removed her bedroom door from its hinges and put it in the garage. She figured he'd never dare...and she went and slammed the bathroom door. Poor idiot took public showers and restroom breaks for a week. Oddly enough, there was very little door slamming in my house from that point on. Unless, of course, it was being done by my mother...

~lucky

First - there is a great episode of 'Raymond' where he tries one of his father's enforcement techniques on his wife. His father's incredulous reaction. "I NEVER did that to the wife!" - Great wisdom in a one liner.

Second . . . I'm thinking of putting the hammer and screwdriver adjacent to someone's bedroom. Have a little teenage door slammer on the premises . . .

Now - you can all go back to arguing over which composer is great or not, while I listen to Miles and Cannonball in the land of no noise ordinances

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Re: brief hijack

First - there is a great episode of 'Raymond' where he tries one of his father's enforcement techniques on his wife. His father's incredulous reaction. "I NEVER did that to the wife!" - Great wisdom in a one liner.

Second . . . I'm thinking of putting the hammer and screwdriver adjacent to someone's bedroom. Have a little teenage door slammer on the premises . . .

Now - you can all go back to arguing over which composer is great or not, while I listen to Miles and Cannonball in the land of no noise ordinances

Good luck, OnD. The shrieking that came after door removal number two was awful and went on for days, but when my Dad came in with a roll of Duct Tape and held it up (indicating he'd use it on her mouth to shut her the hell up) she finally conceded.

As for your first point - My Dad also knew better than to try anything creative with my mother. In my home...If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy! He was crafty, but far from stupid.

~lucky (definitely a Daddy's girl)

 

[snooper]

I have it on good authority that playing "Zadok the Priest" at maximum volume in a night-club at closing time gets the hangers-in leaving very quickly.