The Isolated Blurt Thread V: For Vendetta

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I need a third hand so I can properly manicure my right hand. But then I'd need a fourth hand to do my third a hand, and a fifth hand to manicure...


Oh, my. What will you do with all those manicured fingers?
 
My boss wanted to go for breakfast (he never stops eating), so we caught the train into town.

We were giggling and smiling at each other the whole way. Because we're idiots. He's a handsome man. I noticed quite a few girls checking him out :D. If they only knew. It feels good though. Finishing something like this. And nobody knows. We're just two regular people on the train.
 
So I guess if you don't want to bend over and pick up the baseball, it's only a double.

The game is rigged!
 
I read a funny here or somewhere once so I decided to try it.

I met a girlfriend for a pizza bite last night. After a couple hints about her continued playing a game on her phone and being ignored, I asked to see her phone a sec. She was none too pleased when I put her phone up to my forehead and asked if we could pretend she was paying attention to our conversation that way. :rolleyes:
 
It just occurred to me that I haven't had cheesecake in quite some time.

Are you my wife? She, you? has been moaning and asking for cheesecake.

If you are her, piss off I aint getting you any, if not I apologize for my paranoia.
 
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Howdy, Thor.. nice sunshine this week, huh?

Been nice. Heading a bit north for the weekend to put about on the snow and realize peace without cell service. Might snow, Sunday, they say.

Hope you and yours are well.
 
Not if Dexter feeds it to you.

my niece has been watching that show lately for some reason and she keeps trying to explain it to me. honestly, she's lucky that i love her, because i've punched people for less. for her i force myself to tolerate it because at least it's better than hearing how about wheel of fortune is rigged to let black people and women win.

if you ever wanted a clue as to why i'm not a huge tv fan you just got one, people. you're welcome.
 
my niece has been watching that show lately for some reason and she keeps trying to explain it to me. honestly, she's lucky that i love her, because i've punched people for less. for her i force myself to tolerate it because at least it's better than hearing how about wheel of fortune is rigged to let black people and women win.

if you ever wanted a clue as to why i'm not a huge tv fan you just got one, people. you're welcome.

Noted. No tv references for pointless. I just saw the key lime episode last night so it was fresh in my mind.
 
30 rock is alright. maybe community. stay away from doctor who though unless you want an argument.
 
I read a funny here or somewhere once so I decided to try it.

I met a girlfriend for a pizza bite last night. After a couple hints about her continued playing a game on her phone and being ignored, I asked to see her phone a sec. She was none too pleased when I put her phone up to my forehead and asked if we could pretend she was paying attention to our conversation that way. :rolleyes:

:D

I read a funny.

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BjKE2yjIYAAqyDL.jpg:medium
 
Why is it that at the exact moment when I have nothing to give, everyone wants a piece of me. And why do my male clients insist on talking to me when they call, when all they want to do is make an appointment?
 
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