dolf
Ex porn
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- Oct 2, 2004
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I like the soft to hard in mouth transformation,
followed by happy murmur and hand in hair.
The Isolated Blurt Thread IV: A New Hope
- Thread starter neci
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I like the soft to hard in mouth transformation,
followed by happy murmur and hand in hair.
Wings
Zucchini Muffin
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- Feb 24, 2012
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this makes me happy for both of you. Exactly! Even with my skill level it's sometimes hard to get him all the way in my mouth, depending on the angle so the soft to hard is just the best of both worlds.
CleverCowardice
Literotica Guru
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I suddenly very bitter about how my Saturday started.
dolf
Ex porn
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pink
Kpoop lover
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I vote for that. No better way to wake a man than by sucking his cock.
Dammit, I have no cock to suck awake this morning.
JohnnySavage
Literotica Guru
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- Aug 25, 2008
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TWO COWS ~{Matthias Varga}
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows.
You sell them and retire on the income
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow has dropped dead.
A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
market it worldwide.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then
throws the milk away
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy
grows.
You sell them and retire on the income
ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to
produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why
the cow has dropped dead.
A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows. You borrow lots of euros to build barns, milking sheds, hay stores, feed sheds,
dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit and packing sheds.
You still only have two cows.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three
cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce
twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and
market it worldwide.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows,
but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive...
"I can't believe you woke me up just to fuck," said no man ever in the history of humankind.
In other words, go for it.
dolf
Ex porn
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2004
- Posts
- 78,962
but they have said, almost in tears, 'I just need a few hours sleep! just a couple of hours!'
but they have said, almost in tears, 'I just need a few hours sleep! just a couple of hours!'
And these are actual men, with actual working parts?
dolf
Ex porn
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2004
- Posts
- 78,962
And these are actual men, with actual working parts?
i'm told that, after the third time, with no sleep, at 3am, a man has limits.
CleverCowardice
Literotica Guru
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- Oct 19, 2008
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People who refer to fucking as "sexy times" should be beaten with a sackful of squirrels and then set on fire.
Mr Noone
Croí na hÉireann
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- Oct 16, 2005
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Most women snuggle after three.
JohnnySavage
Literotica Guru
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dolf
Ex porn
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- Posts
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I like struggling. kinky!
girlsmiley
catastrophe
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- Sep 8, 2010
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I left! Wait. I left until just now!
When I'm bored I might visit again. I'm posting because I've missed you. Seriously. How are you? How've you been? What's new in Fata's world? What's hot and what's not? How was your Valentine's?I've been busy. What have I been doing...
I went to Wet'n'Wild with a heap of my fave girls yesterday. What a fun day.
It was overcast and sunny, overcast and sunny, you know? So one minute I was shivering and my lips were turning blue, the next I was getting burnt.I got into a little bit of trouble. I was just playing nicely on my favourite ride (you just jump in a tube and float around lol) and the meanie man blew his whistle at me for having more than one tube.
I've been having a blast. I thought of you last night. A and I went out for dinner and I ordered the pav for dessert. I though, 'Fata likes pav. She would love this pav'. Oh and it was so good. Crusty and soft and sweet and passionfruit conserve drizzled over fresh fruit with whipped cream.... and ohhhhhh.
And guess what? I made a booking! Wanna come to Hawaii? We're going to Hawaii via Bora Bora etc in October! YAY!
Come you cunt!
girlsmiley
catastrophe
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*waves to kate*
pete
Literotica Guru
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crazychemgirl
the S&S goddess
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we're getting snow right now!
HarryHill
Hairy fucker
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Just nail him while he sleeps
lovetoread
hello daddy
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Who??
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