The Incest Question

[GloriaStar]

I'm interested in roleplaying through an incest fantasy with my boyfriend. My main concern is introducing the idea to him, in a way that won't immediately turn him off. I understand why people would be turne off, and it is not my intent to make light of a very obviously serious subject. I just want to roleplay through some fantasies with him.

I'm hoping that someone can give me some suggestions on how to bring up the topic with him. Couples with experience would be appreciated, but I will take any advice I can get. It's been a big desire of mine for a long time, but have yet had it unfufilled in real life. It's also cost me one relationship, because of the last time I told someone (so you can understand why I'm kind of hesitant to bring it up with him).

I suppose we could get talking about fantasies, he could share his and I could share mine. But, to be honest, I'd really like to find a way to gauge his reaction to the idea before I bring it up.

 

[Bobmi357]

I'm afraid this is one of those things you are just going to have to talk to him about. But you're really talking about two different issues. Specifically role playing sex scenes and then role playing a specific scenario of incest.

My suggestion would be to try an oblique approach, get him into the role playing first, then when he's comfortable with that, you could bring up the incest scenario. At least that would be the way I'd approach it.

 

[GloriaStar]

Thanks for the reply Bobmi357. My current boyfriend and I have already done some mild roleplaying. You know the usual scenarios schoolgirl, secretary, maid, nurse, etc. Nothing too off beat. We've talked about other fantasies before, his and mine, but they all seem relatively tame to me saying "I want you to fuck me while I call you daddy!"

Like I said before I've already lost one relationship, because I felt the need to be greedy and tell someone about my twisted desire. I would really prefer not to lose someone else to it. Although I will admit I can get a lot from roleplaying on boards, it really doesn't measure up to playing out a fantasy with someone you love. Maybe I'll just have to live with that.

 

[Bobmi357]

Like I said before I've already lost one relationship, because I felt the need to be greedy and tell someone about my twisted desire. I would really prefer not to lose someone else to it. Although I will admit I can get a lot from roleplaying on boards, it really doesn't measure up to playing out a fantasy with someone you love. Maybe I'll just have to live with that.

Gloria,
No you won't have to just live with it. In order for your relationship to prosper you must be able to communicate with your partner, even the things you find difficult to communicate.

If you've already tried roleplaying and he doesn't have a problem with it, I don't really see any reason why you can't sound him out on the idea of a incest scenario. However if you're squeamish about bringing up the idea, then sneak it by him. Tell him you're interested in exploring more role playing in your love life and you've build up a list of possible scenarios that you'd like his opinion on. Hand him a list with a bunch of ideas you haven't yet tried and somewhere in that list include the incest scenario. Tell him its in no particular order, but ask him how he'd feel about each one of the items on the list.

Maybe he'll discard the idea entirely, maybe he won't. But slipping in that way will allow you to gauge his reaction without letting him know how much you'd like to try this.

While I do not think incest is right in any context, exploring a fantasy in a role playing situation is a good way to explore this side of your sexuality without breaking laws or creating family problems.

Presenting your SO with a list will allow you to gage his reaction to not only the fantasy you desire, but to others you may even find more enjoyable.

 

[herecomestherain]

Here's a link to a great article that you may find useful on introducing fantasies to your loved one.

Violet Blue

 

[GloriaStar]

thanks for you response herecomestherain. I checked out the site you had mentioned, which all made very valid points, and in most cases I would agree with it as it made sense. There are definately some good ideas I took away from there. However, I am far too terrified to confront him with it point blank, or trying to sneak it by him in a list. I was utterly devestated the last time I reached this point, and I don't want to go through that again.

I also would like to say an extra special thanks to CM (you know who you are).

I would still appreciate any extra advice on the subject though.

 

[zhukov1943]

Well...

My buddy Butch told me once over several, several whiskey drinks, that one girl he'd gotten with liked to dress up in pajamas, with her hair in pigtails, and have him read her a bed-time story while she "blew" him.

He liked the oral attention, but felt a little wierd about the obvious pedophilia aspects attatched.

I personally dig the plaid skirt, white button-down shirt and pigtail "schoolgirl" look, and so do most of the men out there. Perhaps you could ease him into it with a little dress-up play?

 

[GloriaStar]

Thanks for the reply zhukov1943, as I mentioned in one of my earlier replies we've already done that sort of thing. We actually play dress up pretty frequently. It's something we both enjoy, and I've even dressed up as the school girl for him complete with plaid skirt, pigtails, maryjane shoes, knee high stockings and a lollipop that I put to good use.

 

[phoenix1224]

Just surprise him...

Welcome him home wearing the schoolgirl outfit, hair in pig tails... Hand him his favorite drink, slide up close to him, put your head on his chest, look up at him, and just say, 'How was daddy's day? Daddy's little girl missed him sooo much...' And just go from there.

I was surprised the same way the first time and it turned me on something fierce... I highly doubt he'll be turned off by it...

 

[Irish_Kitty]

I don't know how much this will help. I am a big fan of "Savage Love," a sex advice column in several papers, it can be found online at The Onion in the AV section.

Frequently, Dan (the author) responds to letters of indivudals asking for advice on how to introduce their partner to their particular fetish. One thing that Dan often says is that the only thing you can do is tell your partner about your desires. Unfortunatly, he is under no obligation to fulfill your fantasy and you may end up loosing another lover.

I think that you might be plesently surprised by his reaction. He hasn't had any problems playing dress-up or role-playing with you yet. There are some scenerios which are closer to "daddy" then others. You might ask to try a professor/student rp. Work up to it, sort of.

One question that you might want to ask yourself is if you are willing to stay with this guy and not say anything, or do you want to risk being hurt? How important is playing daddy's little girl to you?

I'm not asking you to post your answer, just something for you to think about.

 

[GloriaStar]

Thanks for your reply phoenix1224, as I've said before we've done lots of dress up roleplay before, but it's been pretty status quo for that kind of thing. Nothing that would come close to calling him Daddy. Believe it or not not all men, or women for that matter, are turned on by the idea at all. It wasn't until very recently that I've discovered where this desire comes from. Most people would read the idea for face value and be sickened by it (just ask my last boyfriend). Not knowing his reaction to it, I would not want to just come out with it the way you had suggested. Although it is a sexy thought.

 

[GloriaStar]

Thanks Irish_Kitty, I'm actually very famillar with Savage Love and Dan Savage. I read his column all the time and as a result am also aware of his general advice to talk to your partner and being aware of the risk of losing them if I tell them. Along with that also the possibility that if I don't want to talk about it, maybe it's not worth it. This is not a topic I am unwilling to discuss, but I do not want a repeat of what happened with my last boyfriend. Although I think that he was very closed minded about the subject (he was very open to other forms of roleplay and such) I don't think it helped that he felt as if I sprung it on him from nowhere.

We have done the student/professor game before, with each of us switching roles. It was quite fun, maybe even one of my favorites. I do see the similarities between these two scenarios, and will talk about them if I get the nerve to confront him about my desires.

In response to how important is being Daddy's little girl to me? Well, it is a common fantasy and desire that I have. However, I love my boyfriend very much and would love to be able to share this with him. At the same time I know that he would never ask me to do something that disgusted me, and so I want to prevent past events repeating and possibly disgusting him. So I don't believe that it is more important than him, however it's not something that will go away. To be honest I would take opportunities to play out the fantasy like I have in the past on boards or by writting fiction, etc. However, that is no match for being with the one you love.

 

[GloriaStar]

On a seperate note

Although I do not mind being PM'd about this topic, let me make it absolutely clear that it is not a medium to try and pick me up with. I have a boyfriend I think is absolutely wonderful and love deeply. I would never leave him in a million years Please don't send me stupid goofy PMs telling me you'll be my daddy, etc. However, if someone had a well thought out plot they'd like to play out that might be something to think about....

Just because I am a slut online, does not make me a slut in real life.

 

[Tooch McGroin]

Here's an idea:

Start talking in a little girl's voice and calling him 'daddy' in any ordinary, day-to-day nonsexual context. Do this for a few days. After he gets accustomed to this playful manner of speech, combine it with the pigtails and pajamas etc. Then when he shows signs of arousal, make your move: "Fuck me, daddy." And maintain the role throughout the sexplay.

 

[Athos]

Start with a less threatening situation

Why don't you start out by trying a less threatening role play situation... say a sister-in-law or cousin relationship - maybe even adult sibling.

You can sort of see whether the idea is even appealing to him. If it is, you have a better idea whether you can try and go further.

I think if he can already discern between reality and fantasy then you are half way there anyway.

 

[ReadyOne]

Here's an idea:

Start talking in a little girl's voice and calling him 'daddy' in any ordinary, day-to-day nonsexual context. Do this for a few days. After he gets accustomed to this playful manner of speech, combine it with the pigtails and pajamas etc. Then when he shows signs of arousal, make your move: "Fuck me, daddy." And maintain the role throughout the sexplay.

Don't know on that... I could eaisly do father/daughter roleplay in the bedroom but hearing a little girl voice for the rest of the time would get a bit irritating... No reason you can't start a grown up daughter and start regressing....

 

[Keith36]

I was reluctant at first for this fantasy.

Ome night I came in, my wife had pigtails in the hair and was kneeling on the foloor with a coloring book. I walked in , she turned around and said "Hi daddy." I was so turned on.

I ended up fucking my wonderful daughter's brains out. Occasionally my daughter still comes out.

 

[sheath]

Perhaps 'sneak in' the daddy reference the first time?

I stumbled upon a lover's incest fantasies by pure accident. In bed, doggie style, and he took the initiative to spank my ass with his hand. I purred something about 'harder, daddy' and he got so turned on, fucked me so hard he almost hurt me. *blushing* We talked about it later and he admitted to fantasies I never would have dreamed that man would have!

Calling him 'Daddy' in that kind of context wouldn't be much of a stretch. And if he hesitated, or seemed put off by it, it would be easy to just not bring it up again. Things said in the heat of the moment are good to gauge honest reactions in a man. If being called Daddy is something that he likes, or at least doesn't object to, then you had a springboard for more discussion.

Good luck. And kudos to you for being brave enough to reveal your fantasies to your lover!

S.

 

[RawHumor]

Re: On a seperate note

Although I do not mind being PM'd about this topic, let me make it absolutely clear that it is not a medium to try and pick me up with. I have a boyfriend I think is absolutely wonderful and love deeply. I would never leave him in a million years Please don't send me stupid goofy PMs telling me you'll be my daddy, etc. However, if someone had a well thought out plot they'd like to play out that might be something to think about....

Just because I am a slut online, does not make me a slut in real life.

Unfortunately, I think that the fear of getting hundreds of PM's (or the actuality of it in the past) from guys wanting sex keeps some women from posting honest threads like this one.

I appreciate the thread, and hopefully that post will be well-read.

 

[New_Experience]

Believe it or not, calling him Daddy in the middle of passionate sex might not be such a bad idea. Your in the heat of the moment, your both going crazy, anything can happen. If he likes it you scored. If he doesn't, just say you got caught up in the moment and just said it.

Everyone who has ever had wild sex knows that anything and everything is fair game in the heat of passion. If he doesn't like the idea you'll know it soon enough and you have an out.

Hope this helps,
NE

 

[fsumusic1981]

2 pieces of advice.

I have 2 pieces of advice...

First. You could always have him pretend to be your "stepfather." Tell him you used to fantasize about your father's friends when you were a young teenager, wishing they were your stepfather so that you could be around them all the time and have them seduce you... This is sort of a sanitized version of the father-daughter thing.

On a side note to this, you could always rent the movie "Lolita" and see if taht does anything for you. There are two versions of it out there. Stanley Kubrick's Black&White version is the original (the other one is done in color)... if you like any of his other films, like "2001: A Space Odyssey," or "the Shining" or "A clockwork Orange," that could be a perfect excuse to rent "Lolita." Maybe, if he was predisposed to enjoy the kind of fantasy you have in mind, that would get him keen on the idea.

Secondly, you can tell him you think it'd be hot if, while you two are gettin' it on, to ask you, "Who's your daddy?" Tell him you think it'd be hottest if it did it while you two were doin the deed doggystyle.

You could always just ask him. Hell, if my girlfriend asked me, I'd be up for it in a second.

Good luck and take it sleazy. Let me know how it goes.

-Peace

 

[white_mage_goddess]

You know sometimes, things are better in "fantasy land" than in reality...Have you worked through your own pyschological reasons for having this fantasy? I'm not saying its "wrong" (I don't believe anything two consenting adults do is "wrong") but I would at least try to figure our what your reason is for being turned on by this. I've had the same fantasy myself and realized it was because I never had a strong father figure growing up, and was wanting to feel loved by "Daddy."

However, if you have children, or plan to have any with this man, I would be cautious of developing a daughter/father fetish in him. There's always the slight chance,that he will catch himself getting accidently turned on by the "real thing" as opposed to the adult version

I don't have any plans on letting my future husband EVER spank my children, because I know he has a spanking fetish with me, and it wouldn't be so hard to get psychologically confused.

 

[New_Experience]

by the way....let us know how it works out.

 

[GloriaStar]

Sorry I didn't reply sooner, but I want you to all know that I am still here and appreciating all the advice I've been getting. I want you all to know I haven't abandoned this thread, nor will I (at least not until it out lives its usefulness to others or myself). I'd like to take a moment just to reply to all those who have posted since.

Tooch McGroin: I don't think talking in the little girls voice is the way to go in my paticular situation. On many occasions my boyfriend has told me how is attracted to women and not girls. Making the distinction I would assume that the persona of a "girl" would not be a turn on to him. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think I'd risk it.

Athos: I like your idea a lot actually. I got a private message from someone I'll call CM when I started this thread. Her advice was some of the best I have gotten on this subject, and to be honest I really feel like she has been very helpful to me. Over the last little while my boyfriend and I have been doing a lot more roleplaying as I'm trying to get comfortable enough to talk to him about my fantasy. Some of the roleplaying we have done has been similar to what you suggested, and I have to say we've both had a good time. So thank you XO

ReadyOne: I couldn't agree more.

Keith36: Although the scenario you described does seem very kinky to me, I don't think it would float for me or my boyfriend.

sheath: Thanks for sharing your experience. It's nice to know that I am not alone in my fantasy, and that there are people out there who understand it, and even share the same feelings as to where these fantasies come from. Although I just don't think me sneak attacking him with it is the way to go. Given previous history and the fact that I'm a scardie cat I don't think I'll just blurt it out.

RawHumor: Now I know my reply to this could get me into even more trouble, but I have faith that the literotica readers (especially the ones reading this thread) are very intelligent. It's not so much that I mind getting PMs from other readers. Nor do I mind the occasional solicitation for some online roleplaying. I don't mind even dirty PMs. What I do mind is a bunch of mindless drones looking for a virtual hole. Yes daddy/daughter play turns me on. Yes I would not be opposed to the idea of playing with someone online, but I would appreciate some intelligence behind your message. I don't want to see messages like: "Daddy's home little girl want to play?" (I've toned it down, but I think you all get the idea). If you're going to the trouble to write me, I would at least like to see something well thought out. So keep the sexy messages coming, just don't be so neanderthal about it.

New_Experience: Like I've said before, I agree that the idea of saying something in the heat of the moment might be a good idea for some people. However, I do not believe it would work in my case, plus I am to affraid due to past events to let it come up in such a manner.

fsumusic1981: Like I said earlier we had been experimenting with other roles during our roleplaying. Recently I got my boyfriend to admit to a teacher he had a crush on as a child, and we've acted out very specific scenarios regarding this. We've also acted out one of mine of a neighbour I had a crush on as a girl, I always wanted him to babysit me, or at least that's how my fantasies went. We've also taken a lot of our ideas in the past from movies, adult and regular, for our scenarios. However, I think that both of us agreed that Lolita was a good film when we saw it, but neither one of us was really turned on by it. Like I said my boy likes women and not girls.

white_mage_goddess: I've thought about that long and hard as well. I do agree that some fantasies should remain fantasies. I have some of those, and they all seem very clear to me that that's where those should remain. I have also explored the psychological reasonings behind my fantasy. Without getting into it to heavily it really has nothing to do with my own father, but rather the image of authority and security. It's more a father-figure then a father. I just want to call him "daddy", so it makes it easier to blur the lines and see the fantasy taking the form of "daddy". I've also thought about the possibility that I could be creating a monster. I would never in a million years want to think that this would or could lead to something terrible happening to a child of mine (should I ever have one some day) or someone elses. I think though given the reasonings of the scenario, if I could make him understand it, and know that he did that one could see that this is not as much about incest as it appears.

And of course I will keep you all posted on the progress. If I'm up for it I might even post "the first time". I make no promises though. Thanks again to all who have posted, I really do appreciate it. Keep the replies, advice, real life experiences, fantasies and even the PMs coming. I hope to hear from you all soon.

 

[GloriaStar]

All this incest talk has gotten me thinking. What do you all think, what is your favorite fantasy? I thought I'd put it to a poll, so if you feel like voting check out Favorite Incest Fantasy