The "I don't want to talk about AI" thread, and the new topic is: wine (and/or boobies)

[TheLobster]

I guess I like adverbs like that because they're kind of like an emoji to me. (…)

They’re all fine in omniscient narration, as they require insight into character’s motivations and true emotions. But if the story is allegedly told in the close PoV of a different character, you can only do it so often before you are accused of head hopping (as opposed to what you are really doing, if you’re doing it consciously, i.e., conveying the PoV character’s impression of the other’s speech).

In this particular case, though, I’d probably use “defiantly” instead of “bravely”, and leave it to the reader’s interpretation whether the speaker exhibits actual courage or conceals his true fear.

 

[Bramblethorn]

There are adverbs and adverbs. These are obviously okay, even necessary:

Walked quickly
Coughed quietly

Agreed.

I think the argument here is about whether the reader can have privileged access to people's inner state (which is also fine, if you're writing omniscient, which I never do).
So:
"I disagree," she said bravely (as I mentioned in another thread, JK Rowling does this a lot) - I avoid this, preferring e.g.
"I disagree", she said, meeting my gaze.

That's part of it - when done in a limited-perspective narrative, it can feel like a soft kind of head-hopping, unless the narrator knows the emoter well enough to be confident in interpreting their emotes.

But even in omniscient I'd encourage authors to think about whether there are better ways to convey this kind of thing. @iwatchus mentioned show-vs.-tell above; well, when I write "angrily" I'm telling that character's mental state, just as much as if I'd written "he was angry". While I don't espouse show-don't-tell as an absolute rule it's often a good idea for key scenes and there are several ways I could show the character's anger here.

• I could write something like "His face reddened and he sprayed flecks of spittle as he shouted at me".
• Or I could write "His eyes hardened and he spoke in a cold monotone." Still conveying anger, but a different kind of anger.
• I could convey anger through his dialogue, by the words he uses.
• Or, if I've done a good enough job establishing how much this guy loves his rose garden, and the damage I inadvertently did while backing my car over it, the reader may already know that he's going to be furious before he ever opens his mouth.

Any of those approaches is likely to do a better job of putting the reader in the scene than if I just write "he was angry".

(OTOH, sometimes pacing calls for getting through a scene in a hurry, and at times like that a brief "tell" might be preferable to a more detailed "show".)

 

[Bramblethorn]

Back on the subject of booze: is this the worst cocktail idea ever? Discuss.

 

[MrPixel]

However.... I've heard of various psychological 'isms' where individuals have difficulty in recognising facial expressions.

Asberger's syndrome.

 

[StillStunned]

I think it's time to give this thread a little bumpety-bump.

 

[NuclearFairy]

The kids all brought home some almond joys last night, and I'm the only one in the house that both likes them and can eat them. So, candy for me!

 

[TheLobster]

I wasn’t entirely correct when I said in the nearby thread is not really a thing here. No fewer than five groups of tricksters came around, and being completely unprepared I had to dig into deep reserves of cookies and chocolate-glazed vanilla marshmallows.

There were no stinkbombs in the morning, so I suppose it was a decent enough effort.

 

[StillStunned]

For my new story, I'm describing a succubus who's summoned by an apprentice sorcerer:

A form took shape within the fire, or perhaps the fire took on physical form. Legs, a torso, arms, neck and head. Tall and graceful, but filling out with curves and… other bits that Arno had only seen in his dreams.

Then it stood before him. The fire didn’t dim, or disappear. It was suddenly a woman, or something that looked like a woman. Flames cupped her breasts like hands, and licked up from between her legs to obscure her– her womanhood. Obscure it, but tantalisingly. As if Arno might spy her secrets if only he looked closely enough.

 

[stickygirl]

Asberger's syndrome.

prosopagnosia or maybe alexithymia but those could be traits associated with autism amongst other things.

I think folks are drinking cocktails now though

 

[TheLobster]

For my new story, I'm describing a succubus who's summoned by an apprentice sorcerer:

A form took shape within the fire, or perhaps the fire took on physical form. Legs, a torso, arms, neck and head. Tall and graceful, but filling out with curves and… other bits that Arno had only seen in his dreams.

Then it stood before him. The fire didn’t dim, or disappear. It was suddenly a woman, or something that looked like a woman. Flames cupped her breasts like hands, and licked up from between her legs to obscure her– her womanhood. Obscure it, but tantalisingly. As if Arno might spy her secrets if only he looked closely enough.

Hey! Are you trying to usurp my title of the local Comma Aficionado? And you’re not even using the Oxford flavor thereof! What gives?

Intriguing start, by the way. Would read more.