The "I Didn't Get Laid Today" Thread

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lol, well i can get by with something hard and waterproof but does help to have real thing sometimes.:kiss::devil: Besides I need spanked still. *wiggles butt at you*

Temptation, temptation.:devil:

I haven't given a good spanking in a long, long time. Now, everyone knows what to give me for my birthday and Christmas. :D:devil: A nice round ass across my lap.
 
Temptation, temptation.:devil:

I haven't given a good spanking in a long, long time. Now, everyone knows what to give me for my birthday and Christmas. :D:devil: A nice round ass across my lap.

just across your lap?:devil: Now now hopefully would be more than spanking.;)
 
The closest I have come was that 40 minute back massage at a poker table in Vegas. She did this thing on my neck that was the best thing I ever felt outside of the bedroom.
 
Yah, we need to get together, but that river is so far away. Oceans away......... Sweet dreams, my Prince.

It is only distance that separates us my Darling. The more I walk, the shorter the distance. One morning you will look towards the west and I will be standing there looking at you. The miles will never hold me back from my quest.
 
More shit going on in the world means I'm here for a good while yet.
 
It is only distance that separates us my Darling. The more I walk, the shorter the distance. One morning you will look towards the west and I will be standing there looking at you. The miles will never hold me back from my quest.

The odds are that I will still be sitting here waiting on this thread for your arrival. I'll put the tea kettle on.
 
Well if Lance is setting out, I'll save myself the trip, then.
:rose:

No, by all means carry on HP. You have an ocean to cross and I have a mountain and a river to cross, so let the best man make it there alive. And if we both make it, maybe we'll both win fair maiden's heart. Of course, you and that bloody dragon will probably beat me and chick's just dig riding around on flame breathing dragon's and everything, so I might just have to save myself the trip.
 
No, by all means carry on HP. You have an ocean to cross and I have a mountain and a river to cross, so let the best man make it there alive. And if we both make it, maybe we'll both win fair maiden's heart. Of course, you and that bloody dragon will probably beat me and chick's just dig riding around on flame breathing dragon's and everything, so I might just have to save myself the trip.

Oh, no, no, no. Please continue with your pursuit. I'm so much worth the effort. Neither one of you will have regrets. I've been taking juggling lessons, ye know.
 
Oh, no, no, no. Please continue with your pursuit. I'm so much worth the effort. Neither one of you will have regrets. I've been taking juggling lessons, ye know.

Is that right noo, ma' wee Darlin'? Ya' ha'e eno' in ya' tae handle the both of us noo, di' ya'? Well, me mate HP has his bloody, big dragon and will be there, days afore me. Will ya' still be wantin' the likes of a Highland warrior after a week a travel? Course, I could skip the whole overland trek thing, catch a quick flight and be there tonight. Might work out better that way.
 
Is that right noo, ma' wee Darlin'? Ya' ha'e eno' in ya' tae handle the both of us noo, di' ya'? Well, me mate HP has his bloody, big dragon and will be there, days afore me. Will ya' still be wantin' the likes of a Highland warrior after a week a travel? Course, I could skip the whole overland trek thing, catch a quick flight and be there tonight. Might work out better that way.

Oh, Yeah, but I hear the dragon's tail is a draggin these days. That airport is just west of the river. I hope you know how to swim. I could have a warm towel waiting for you. But, after that.....we'd both have to get off of this thread because we wouldn't qualify any longer.;)
 
Oh, Yeah, but I hear the dragon's tail is a draggin these days. That airport is just west of the river. I hope you know how to swim. I could have a warm towel waiting for you. But, after that.....we'd both have to get off of this thread because we wouldn't qualify any longer.;)

Och, that's no a problem, I'll lash a couple a' Cabers tagether and be o'er in no time. Aww ma' sweet adorable Lass, it wuld be ma honour ta' ha'e tak me offa this threed
 
Och, that's no a problem, I'll lash a couple a' Cabers tagether and be o'er in no time. Aww ma' sweet adorable Lass, it wuld be ma honour ta' ha'e tak me offa this threed

Oh, LOL. I'll bet it would be, and when I do, I will wear my special plaid stilettos just for you my highland warrior.
 
Oh, LOL. I'll bet it would be, and when I do, I will wear my special plaid stilettos just for you my highland warrior.

Aye, that sounds grand. And a wee pair a' plaid panties and a big smile, ma heart's a poundin' already. 'Och is that ma Sporran goin' fe a tilt'? Aye yer a good yun you are. I'm beginin' ta tak' a wee fancy tae you Hen. :kiss:
 
Aye, that sounds grand. And a wee pair a' plaid panties and a big smile, ma heart's a poundin' already. 'Och is that ma Sporran goin' fe a tilt'? Aye yer a good yun you are. I'm beginin' ta tak' a wee fancy tae you Hen. :kiss:

Plaid panties and a smile you can have, but the hen is staying out of it, Lancelot. :eek:
 
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