The Hook

[Mickie]

No, not the story of the madman with a hook outside the car. This is about how to keep a reader who has clicked into your story. Your first sentence must literally grab a browsing reader by the throat and tantalize them into reading further. That’s what’s meant by the term ‘hook’.

Why do I mention it? Because there are so many stories on this site that seem approach the plot with basic description and/or background information. The story and writing might be very good, but the reader doesn’t get beyond the first paragraph without yawning and clicking on a more interesting sounding title.

Plus, this came up in a conversation with a friend, and I’m going to attempt to consciously use it to see if the idea actually produces more readers and eventually votes. I thought to share it with others, so here we are.

You want to get people to read your story? Try using a hook to keep them interested. Use a hook on the description for your story, and follow through with the first paragraph or sentence.

[Example: The description might be -- A murder turns into a love story. The first line of the story might be -- A woman stood over the body, her eyes wide and the gun in her hand.]

Okay, that might be a bad example, but it’s early and you’ll have to forgive me. However, it’s better than this example: Description -- Dirk gets it on with Heather. First line -- My hair is brown and so are my eyes. Why is the first better than the second example? It describes nothing unique about the story. Why would a reader pick this over something else? Even if the reader does click on it, the first line is also mundane.

Another thought on background usage in this site. A character’s background might be interesting, but if it’s given out in one large chunk at the beginning of a story the reader starts skimming to find the juicy bits. If the background is important to the story, the reader then misses it and loses some of the uniqueness of the story. The juicy bit is now reduced to a plain sex description.

How to avoid giving a huge chunk of background in the first few paragraphs -- begin with action, have something happen from the first line, and insert bits and pieces of background as you go along. Feed it to the reader in small bits, along with the movement of the story.

Other thoughts here? Opinions? Is there an instance when background is an absolute must in the beginning? (Personally, I say ‘no’ rather loudly.) Is a hook important or is it my imagination? (‘Call me Ishmael’ is definitely not a hook. If the classics can become classics without it, then is it a good thing to use it?)

Last question -- Is it a good idea to ‘market’ your work in this manner?

Mickie

 

[Ulyssa]

Twisting the Hook

You are assuming a sophistication to the readers in this site which mirrors some of the intelligence that appears periodically here in the author's hangout. It is not there.

Here's a test--go down to the Personals where an unknown percentage of the site's furrier denizens are believed to inhabit. Try to read through 20 or 30 postings during any one sitting.

Do you really think any of those pople care one way or the other about the hook, unless it has a brightly polished surface, and is being inserted into a vagina in place of a fist?

By the way Moby Dick's hook is over two paragraphs long. Melville didn't have to compete against music videos, hip-hop or Julia Roberts. But if you read Bartleby the Scrivener you'll find out why people are still reading Melville.

[Edited by Ulyssa on 04-27-2001 at 05:37 AM]

 

[nitengale]

let's not forget the title...

I question my titles sometimes.

Do I have to use a title that gets the average Lit reader to even venture into the story, let alone be grabbed by the first line or paragraph??

I hate reducing my good story to a title that reads "Fist Fucking Frolics" although lets face it, that will get read LONG before "Sweet Summer Romance" which may contain one fist fucking scene. But the reader won't know because he or she is NOT into romance (assuming the majority of Lit readers are into something else)

I want people to read my stories, who doesn't? But I really do not want to use a vulgar title just to lure folks in to the story. Or do I?

How much thought do you put into your title? Does the title even mean anything in the world of online erotic stories?

 

[Mickie]

I don't think using a hook assumes the reader is sophisticated. In fact, it's a blatant assumption of just the opposite. They won't read a lot of anything but sex, so why begin a story with anything different? Set up is bullshit, according to the average porn reader (and there IS a higher level of sophistication that you might suspect from erotica readers).

The furry denizens respond to a hook even easier than someone who might understand the concept. If I'm trying to capture the attention of that nasty crowd, then I might use a hook like the one inserted into your analogy. Market to the audience at which you're aiming. I prefer a higher intellect than "He fucked her with his ten inch prong while her 38DD tits bounced", so I'll use something a little more sophisticated to attract a different audience base.

A hook two paragraphs long wouldn't keep the furries here, which is precisely why I think it needs to be in the first sentence instead of boring them with things they don't think they need to know in order to get off on the sex.

And, actually, as a reader of pornography and erotica, I expect something a little more from an author than a blatant description of body parts and how they fit together. It's a little insulting to think that I'm grouped in with those desparate souls posting on the personals in such a perverted manner. And there are a lot of people who would feel the same way, in my opinion. And they read the stuff on this site as much as the perverts. I've had feedback from them, so it has to be true.

 

[Mickie]

Nightengale --

Of course the title is important. It attracts a certain kind of reader to your work. If you pander to the lowest common denominator, then your feedback will reflect that. That's my point in all of this. Find your market, and pander to that. If you write stuff that appeals to a bored housewife taking a break from her chores, then hook her into your story. Wouldn't you rather hear how she would feel about your romances than the opinion of that nasty lurker down by the schoolhouse?

 

[nitengale]

assumptions

I have to admit, and maybe there are those of you reading this that will roll your eyes, that I am totally clueless to what the makeup is of the "average reader" who comes to this very busy site.

Do I assume they are only here for the quick stroke story?
Intellectual stimulation? Beach reading material?

I honestly don't know. I read through the BB's and there are certaunly a variety of folks posting who's morales and intelligence I question. But do we associate their postings with what they like to read? We know a majority likes a specific type of story, but are they reading other things as well?

I always make an attempt to lure readers in with the first line or paragraph. It works for me as a reader, no matter the material. BUT my question still remain how important is the title, or do most just go to their favorite category and go from there?

I'm babbling. My head is wobbly from allergies.

 

[nitengale]

Nightengale --

Of course the title is important. It attracts a certain kind of reader to your work. If you pander to the lowest common denominator, then your feedback will reflect that. That's my point in all of this. Find your market, and pander to that. If you write stuff that appeals to a bored housewife taking a break from her chores, then hook her into your story. Wouldn't you rather hear how she would feel about your romances than the opinion of that nasty lurker down by the schoolhouse?

Mickie...

We were posting at the same time.

I guess my overall problem is that I don't get many reading me...and wish I could increase that. It almost seems that as I have grown as a writer, making less mistakes, writing better, less read me. I think the trash I wrote earlier got more votes and was definately read more.

So basically this posts have all had an underlying whine element to them. Forgive me.

 

[Mickie]

Nitengale --

I don't detect a lot of whine in your replies. I detect frustration. The romance category doesn't generate a lot of readers in general. Anything I have there is a LOT less read than the other stuff. When they DO click into romance, though, wouldn't you want them to click on your story instead of picking something else? That's what I'm talking about here. The title and description both attract them, and then to follow it up by wrapping them into the story will get it read. If you give what you promise in the first paragraph or so, then the votes will be high.

The readers are a cross-section of real life. There are some animals that read for pure sexual gratification. There are some real people that read for pure sexual gratification. And there are those of us who like to read a combination of grunt and push with a good story. Just like in the real world, you have to decide what kind of reader will enjoy your writing and market them. (If you want more readers and voters, that is. If you don't care about getting your work read, then it doesn't matter much.)

Self-promotion is increasing E-book sales. Authors basically handing out flyers in the form of URL's and shouting about winning awards from the rooftops. Here, it's simple to put up a thread on the feedback section. Don't just list it, but tell a little about it as if you were trying to market it at a bookstore. Start a thread about romances being wonderful and see how many people respond. Talk about what is unique about your writing and story and encourage them to check out the romance section.

Hell, you can start a romance readers circle, and talk about what people want to see in a romance. Try posting that on the story ideas board. The more you get to know your audience, the easier it will be to attract them. You'll get the nutcases, too, but I think the advantages outweigh the negatives.

Mickie

 

[Whispersecret]

The hook is important in absolutely everything these days, be it movies, books, or erotic stories. There is no reason to assume that a "low-brow" audience doesn't respond to a good hook.

I think that only established authors can afford to start a story without a good hook. If you have a reputation already, you might be brave enough to assume that the reader trusts you enough to tell a good story and will stick with it past the first page or so, even if it isn't gripping. If you're just getting your feet wet, it will only help you to start a story with a bang.

As to beginning a story with a big lump of background information--that's one of the classic blunders of an amateur writer. Every writer knows there is information that the reader MUST know if they're going to understand the story completely. The temptation is to get it all out at the beginning so you can get to the action quicker. However, that's a mistake.

Better, you should dribble it in, as Mickie said. The backstory should be unobtrusive and doled out in small doses. Also, if it doesn't add to the reader's understanding of the story, then leave it out. For example, don't mention that Janet's favorite ice cream is chocolate unless chocolate ice cream enters the plot in some way.

Will a hook get more people to read the story? Hard to say. The masturbators will likely just scan until they get to the sex, passing completely by the lead-up anyway. However, if you write your hook well, the more discerning readers will likely stick around for more of the story.

 

[Whispersecret]

Re: let's not forget the title...

Do I have to use a title that gets the average Lit reader to even venture into the story, let alone be grabbed by the first line or paragraph??

Yes and no. I think you already realize that you have to decide. You have to weigh what's more important to you. Are you willing to pander to the lowest common denominator (LCD) with a XXXX title to get more readers? Or are you willing to lose some of those votes in order to write a title that fits the mood of your story rather than the sex? In the Romance category, I think your choice almost has to be the latter. The LCD's arent' venturing into the Romance area anyway.

I think the title means almost everything. It's your first impression, along with the one line blurb that Laurel attaches to it. Personally, I won't compromise on a title. A good title holds so much importance to me that I really wonder why even bestselling authors will skimp on a stupid title that has nothing to do with the story.

The title is the first opportunity you have to hook the reader. The blurb is the second. (But you have no control over that.) The beginning of your story is the third. After that, you're going to have to rely on the story itself.

Make a decision about what you're willing to sacrifice. The number of readers, or loyalty to your story?

 

[cymbidia]

This is all so much easier when one writes mostly for her own self-gratification! ~grin~

...raising my hand as willing to sacrifice readers over loyalty to my "story" (such as it is)...
Of course, BDSM doesn't get many readers anyway, comparatively speaking. I think Romance must get WAY more than BDSM, nitengale.

Are there any stats on where people go and what they read at Lit? The Top Lists track votes, yeh. Anything besides that?

 

[Whispersecret]

Laurel has posted what words show up the most in searches, which apparently how a lot of readers find stories. I can't remember where the list is though.

 

[Weird Harold]

(‘Call me Ishmael’ is definitely not a hook. If the classics can become classics without it, then is it a good thing to use it?

Actually, 'Call me Ishmael' is considered one of the "classic" story hooks. When the reader hits that first line, there is an almost irresistable urge to read further to find out why he should be called Ishmael. The remainder of the first few paragraphs "set" the hook so the reader wants to carry on and read the whole story.

I hate my fiancee's clocks.

Is the line above a "hook?" I know it's intended to be, but does it work? Does it make you want to know what story it's from?

The art of drawing a reader into your story is one of the finer points of authorship. A good hook will make a big difference in readership. If you follow a good hook with a good story it also makes a big difference in votes.

If we continue with the fishing analogies, the title and blurb are the "bait" that gets the reader to open the story so they can be hooked. You do have some control over the blurb that Laurel posts, but most author's leave it up to her. She's proven pretty good at picking the right blurb for the story.

A good title and a good hook are no guarantee of a successful story, but they sure don't hurt the chances of astory being successful. Anything that improves your story's chances to stand out from all of the other stories here will make it more successful than it would otherwise be.

If you can make people ask "What's that mean?" with your title,blurb and first sentence, it's much more likely they will read further regardless of the category they normally prefer.

 

[nitengale]

hemingway

His first paragraphs in "for Whom The Bell Tolls" and "A Farewell To Arms" were not real grabbers for me, but definately well worth the journey forward into the books.

Back to the titles...

I, for whatever reason, seem to struggle with this more than most. Not all my stories tend to fall under the romance section. Maybe I'm spending too much time thinking about it.

I posted a story that will be posted here within the next few days on another site...I also posted a question regarding the use of my title on their BB. So far the feedback has been my title was not appropriate for the story, or misleading...

From now on, my editor will be asked, "So what do you think a good title might be?"

Honestly, I suck at titles.

 

[Cockatoo]

not mere marketing.

...oh, sorry, you said you suck at TITLES. Personally, I prefer sucking at TITTIES.

I never feel like a story is even ready to be written until I know its title, the first line, the last line, the one-liner description, and the hook. Really, when it comes down to it, it's worthwile to think of the whole story, all twenty pages of it if that's how long it is, as the development of the hook.

Why? What's with this little grocery list of items? It's a series of promises you make to the reader. Readers browse those kinds of things when they're choosing what to read in the first place. They want to know what they can expect from a story, and it falls upon writers to clearly announce what the peice will accomplish, to get into it right away, and to establish a clear path where it's going.

I didn't make this up. Kurt Vonnegut, in the introduction to his new collection of (old) short stories, says "To heck with suspense. The readers should have such a complete understanding of what's going on that they could finish writing it themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages."

Hook 'em. Hopefully, they'll stay hooked.

 

[spelbynder]

the hook

I don't think your hook or your title has to appeal to the LCD to be considered attention-grabbing.
The "gun in hand" example is a great one. A story that starts out like that can go anywhere at all, but it has grabbed the reader!
The title can be evocative without being provocative or sleazy...umm...trying to think of an example...
"Deadly Passion" rather than "Killer Hose-Beast Slut".
The description: "Succubus lures victims from lust to madness to final destination"
instead of: "Phantom ho fucks victims to death"
(hey, I think I just gave myself an idea for a story!)
Am I on course here? Whatcha think?

 

[Whispersecret]

Re: the hook

I don't think your hook or your title has to appeal to the LCD to be considered attention-grabbing.

I agree. But some people aim for the LCD, for whatever reason.

The title can be evocative without being provocative or sleazy...umm...trying to think of an example...
"Deadly Passion" rather than "Killer Hose-Beast Slut".
The description: "Succubus lures victims from lust to madness to final destination"
instead of: "Phantom ho fucks victims to death"

I agree again. In fact, I'm polishing up a piece for the Writer's Resource section about increasing one's readership via a good title. Thanks to all for being my inspiration.

 

[Ulyssa]

Hook, Line, and Sink Her

Sounds like a title by our friend Bidi es-Sehm.

I enjoy my pitiful life up here in the author's hangout. It has an ivory tower feeling to it. Up here we talk of structure and grammer and Writer's Digest rehashed ideas and pretend that we're a little above the common genre. I prefer the stuff going on up here.

I've seen Deborah down in the General board wielding a two handed broad-sword [er...broad-pen?] to slice and dice some of those morons who are forever struggling through life with their dominant hand stuffed deeply into their panties.

But in the end, I feel as if this is merely a pleasant distraction which keeps me from focusing on my real work. Run my latest synopsis up to 7000 words and my first 3 chapters up about the same and send it out with little tentacles hoping that it will stick to a first reader's desk somewhere. In the States we don't have the luxury of hoping to be taken seriously as erotica writers. The feeler/tentacles on those mss. are covered in slime and slide off the publishers desks all by themselves. So I enjoy a brief sojourn into the Author's hangout, and then I go back to the unreal world and pursue my marketble writing--dreaming of the same things which everyone here imagines--putting my erotic words out on the shelves or the net and watching the world scoop them up at a price ["Ain't that America?"].

Please, I am not here to kill the dream. It's just that I dread waking up to this reality when the alarm clock inevitably goes off.

 

[spelbynder]

In the States we don't have the luxury of hoping to be taken seriously as erotica wri

Oh, this is exactly what I didn't want to hear.
I'm very new to the idea of being published (see my other thread), and I had hoped that there was some possibility of compiling a book of my erotic shorts (I love silk boxers) and actually seeing it sell. But truthfully, after reading several Writer's Digests and a self-publishing book and never even seeing the words "erotic" or "sex", I began to get a nagging suspicion that I was in for a hard, if not impossible, road.
So, is it impossible, or is it just very tricky to find a road into that promised land?

 

[Mickie]

The picture Ulyssa paints is a bit bleak, and, in some ways, quite realistic. You'll never publish if you don't market yourself as the best there is. A good query letter goes a long way toward getting it on the first reader's desk, but you have to follow through. The market for good erotica is almost strictly a women's domain, and it's getting easier for women to publish quality erotica without having it slide off the desk. (that image made me chuckle) Check out the Writer's Net in both publishing and in the agent categories. Under topic, click on Erotica, and you can find quite a few people who handle it. I don't know just how slimey their tentacles are, but you'll never get anywhere if you don't take risks. Serious writing is always rewarded sooner or later, but it's up to the author to find a way to get that reward. I've gone the route of agents and publishers. It isn't fun, and it's more difficult than writing the damned stuff in the first place, but the reward of that first royalty check is worth it.

The biggest problem most agents and publishers have with erotica is the sleeze factor. If it's pure sex with no plot, they won't touch it. Send it to Hustler if that's the case. It can even be WELL-WRITTEN sex scenes, but it has to have an interesting or at least plausible story to go with it or you'll find it sliding off that desk again.

As for the GB and Deb's antics there, her broad-pen is what keeps that place interesting. Conflict is the spice of all stories. She provides plenty of it. If she has the energy to continue sparring matches, perhaps she just needs the outlet. I prefer sparring over subjects that spill over into my real world, such as writing, so I pretty much stick with this little ivory tower. I'm a writer first and a fighter last. My opinion of trolls has no bearing on why I'm here at Lit, but I don't ignore the fighting completely. I read it, and I'd offer an opinion if it meant enough to me to offer it. So far, it's just like reading a story to me, and in spots it's pretty much redundant.

However, I reserve the right to change my mind at any given point. *g*

Mickie

 

[Whispersecret]

You might want to check out Kensington's new BRAVA line of books. It's new and billed as "erotic romance." They have a couple of anthologies (4 novellas per) and some full length novels. I particularly liked Tempting by Susan Johnson. The names of the anthologies escape me. Captivated is one of them, I think.

According the the Romance Writer's Report (the publication of Romance Writers of America), Kensington is actively acquiring manuscripts for this new line.

Best of luck.