Deuteragonist
Virgin
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2014
- Posts
- 2
Greetings all. I am the Deuteragonist, and I've recently become inspired to work on a contribution to the site. I thought I'd run it by you all to judge its potential reception. The story is called, The Heart of Sappho. On its face, it's a lesbian mind control story, but that's far too simplistic of a description. The true nature of it is how a frigid, miserable woman learns how to love. My intent is to give it a very happy ending. The protagonist against all odds overcomes her past and finds love and happiness. Her life's trajectory is forever changed for the better, but not without significant help from some supernatural forces and frequent bouts against her demons.
I'm using an alternate historical setting. The time period is about 270 BCE, and the story spans from the Greek colonies of Southern Italy, stopping off shortly in the independent city state of Rhodes, and then concluding on the Isle of Lesbos. I know... the whole Sappho/Lesbos mythology is painfully trite, but stay with me here. I'm hoping that it will serve as a comfortable and inconspicuous backdrop in which to work. I think the summary will help to convince you, but tell me if it still sounds too derivative.
Our unassuming heroine is named Valeria, after the Latin valere, meaning "to be healthy/strong." As you learn her background I'm sure you'll understand why I chose that name. She is a victim of King Epirus's Italian campaign against the Roman Republic. She came from a minor equestrian family, which is where she came by the skills that would enable her to play a courtesan later in the story. That, and her penchant for political intrigue. As was the custom back then, she was taken as a slave after her family’s holdings were seized for siding with Rome.
I'll pause here for a note, since these kinds of elements can be poorly received if delivered clumsily. The story will include only passing references to the hardships she undergoes. These consist of being sold to a brothel, escaping, but then having to sell herself out to a ship in order to make it to Rhodes, whereupon she continues plying her trade--as it were--to ingratiate herself to a wealthy shipping magnate. This is all told from a distance and used to explain why she has such a profound distrust of and disgust for men (and women for that matter--there were many who were complicit in her travails). It will also build out her character as a cold, manipulative person who is seemingly devoid of any capacity for real human relationships. By the end of the story, these walls will be battered down, and she will learn to love and trust again. Constructive criticism regarding the touchiness of her backstory is welcome.
Upon arriving in Rhodes she becomes the mistress and then spymaster of one Archelaus, who is the foremost shipping merchant in Rhodes. This individual is purely fictional, but Rhodes was indeed an independent city state at the time (having just a generation prior successfully repulsed Antigonus I Monophthalmus, which led to the construction of the Colossus of Rhodes) whose prominence was due primarily to its prominence in maritime trade. Archelaus is merely the Greek work for "ruler," although plenty of men were named as such. It is in his employ that she hears rumor of the Heart of Sappho.
This element is obviously fictional, but it's intended to evoke classical Greek mythology. Within the story, when Sappho died Aphrodite mourned her passing and immediately claimed her remains. But Sappho's heart still longed for this world from beyond the grave, and so the goddess made her heart a ruby red gem and left it behind so that she could continue to experience the world, albeit only as an observer. A cult would spring up around this gem that is loosely modeled on the Greek mystery cults, but some influence from Roman orders (particularly, the Vestals) is also present. This "Cult of Sappho" would become the keepers of the Heart.
Valeria's interest in the gem, however, isn't its mythology: it's the supposed report of its supernatural powers. In her work as a spy she hears on several occasions multiple different parties claim the gem has the powers of telepathy and suggestion. As a burgeoning spy with a rapidly growing sense of ambition and avarice she comes to covet the artifact despite admitting to herself that it likely doesn't exist at all, and even if it does, probably does not bear the purported powers. She cannot resist the temptation to at least pursue the rumor, however.
On a pretense, she leaves Rhodes for Lesbos to investigate the cult, only to find out they flatly refuse to even discuss the order or the gem with the uninitiated. The people of Mytilene (that's the city in Lesbos the temple is located in) aren't much help to her, either. Realizing she has no other way to learn the truth, she enrolls as an initiate in the order. Naturally, only women as accepted as initiates.
I decided to break slightly with history again here. As most are aware, Sappho did not write exclusively about female/female relationships. Moreover, a lot of her poetry seems to be moreso about romantic love and passion than overt sexuality, although I readily admit she would have been much less well received by the male dominated society of the Greeks at the time if she had simply been writing lesbian sex stories. But since this is a story about such, well, let's call it a literary device.
Valeria's primary love interest will be the High Priestess of Sappho, who is a wonderfully patient and loving woman. She has regular training sessions with her (all of the initiates do) and quickly becomes something of a favorite. The high priestess comes to show a particular interest in Valeria. It stems not only from the tremendous capacity for spiritual energy that she senses within her, but also because she feels a profound sadness radiating from her.
As it turns out, the Heart of Sappho is in fact just a gem. No one knows where it came from; the story was enough for any gem to do the trick. The temple just kept it around for pilgrims to gawk at. But there was a supernatural reality to the cult. Sappho's spirit continued to live on and work in the hearts and minds of those who named her. You see, it wasn't the gem that was telepathic, but the high priestess herself. And she would come to use her powers to pry into the mind of Valeria, learn her secrets, and then lead her toward a more fulfilling life--one full of affection, passion, and love. Just as Sappho wrote about. But sexier.
That's the gist of it. Rest assured there will be some hot, steamy lesbian action, but I don't want to spoil it too much.
So, what do you think? Sound like something you'd read?
I'm using an alternate historical setting. The time period is about 270 BCE, and the story spans from the Greek colonies of Southern Italy, stopping off shortly in the independent city state of Rhodes, and then concluding on the Isle of Lesbos. I know... the whole Sappho/Lesbos mythology is painfully trite, but stay with me here. I'm hoping that it will serve as a comfortable and inconspicuous backdrop in which to work. I think the summary will help to convince you, but tell me if it still sounds too derivative.
Our unassuming heroine is named Valeria, after the Latin valere, meaning "to be healthy/strong." As you learn her background I'm sure you'll understand why I chose that name. She is a victim of King Epirus's Italian campaign against the Roman Republic. She came from a minor equestrian family, which is where she came by the skills that would enable her to play a courtesan later in the story. That, and her penchant for political intrigue. As was the custom back then, she was taken as a slave after her family’s holdings were seized for siding with Rome.
I'll pause here for a note, since these kinds of elements can be poorly received if delivered clumsily. The story will include only passing references to the hardships she undergoes. These consist of being sold to a brothel, escaping, but then having to sell herself out to a ship in order to make it to Rhodes, whereupon she continues plying her trade--as it were--to ingratiate herself to a wealthy shipping magnate. This is all told from a distance and used to explain why she has such a profound distrust of and disgust for men (and women for that matter--there were many who were complicit in her travails). It will also build out her character as a cold, manipulative person who is seemingly devoid of any capacity for real human relationships. By the end of the story, these walls will be battered down, and she will learn to love and trust again. Constructive criticism regarding the touchiness of her backstory is welcome.
Upon arriving in Rhodes she becomes the mistress and then spymaster of one Archelaus, who is the foremost shipping merchant in Rhodes. This individual is purely fictional, but Rhodes was indeed an independent city state at the time (having just a generation prior successfully repulsed Antigonus I Monophthalmus, which led to the construction of the Colossus of Rhodes) whose prominence was due primarily to its prominence in maritime trade. Archelaus is merely the Greek work for "ruler," although plenty of men were named as such. It is in his employ that she hears rumor of the Heart of Sappho.
This element is obviously fictional, but it's intended to evoke classical Greek mythology. Within the story, when Sappho died Aphrodite mourned her passing and immediately claimed her remains. But Sappho's heart still longed for this world from beyond the grave, and so the goddess made her heart a ruby red gem and left it behind so that she could continue to experience the world, albeit only as an observer. A cult would spring up around this gem that is loosely modeled on the Greek mystery cults, but some influence from Roman orders (particularly, the Vestals) is also present. This "Cult of Sappho" would become the keepers of the Heart.
Valeria's interest in the gem, however, isn't its mythology: it's the supposed report of its supernatural powers. In her work as a spy she hears on several occasions multiple different parties claim the gem has the powers of telepathy and suggestion. As a burgeoning spy with a rapidly growing sense of ambition and avarice she comes to covet the artifact despite admitting to herself that it likely doesn't exist at all, and even if it does, probably does not bear the purported powers. She cannot resist the temptation to at least pursue the rumor, however.
On a pretense, she leaves Rhodes for Lesbos to investigate the cult, only to find out they flatly refuse to even discuss the order or the gem with the uninitiated. The people of Mytilene (that's the city in Lesbos the temple is located in) aren't much help to her, either. Realizing she has no other way to learn the truth, she enrolls as an initiate in the order. Naturally, only women as accepted as initiates.
I decided to break slightly with history again here. As most are aware, Sappho did not write exclusively about female/female relationships. Moreover, a lot of her poetry seems to be moreso about romantic love and passion than overt sexuality, although I readily admit she would have been much less well received by the male dominated society of the Greeks at the time if she had simply been writing lesbian sex stories. But since this is a story about such, well, let's call it a literary device.
Valeria's primary love interest will be the High Priestess of Sappho, who is a wonderfully patient and loving woman. She has regular training sessions with her (all of the initiates do) and quickly becomes something of a favorite. The high priestess comes to show a particular interest in Valeria. It stems not only from the tremendous capacity for spiritual energy that she senses within her, but also because she feels a profound sadness radiating from her.
As it turns out, the Heart of Sappho is in fact just a gem. No one knows where it came from; the story was enough for any gem to do the trick. The temple just kept it around for pilgrims to gawk at. But there was a supernatural reality to the cult. Sappho's spirit continued to live on and work in the hearts and minds of those who named her. You see, it wasn't the gem that was telepathic, but the high priestess herself. And she would come to use her powers to pry into the mind of Valeria, learn her secrets, and then lead her toward a more fulfilling life--one full of affection, passion, and love. Just as Sappho wrote about. But sexier.
That's the gist of it. Rest assured there will be some hot, steamy lesbian action, but I don't want to spoil it too much.
So, what do you think? Sound like something you'd read?
