The Hanke-panke Bill

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

The Paulson/Bernacke Bailout is now being called the HANKE-PANKE BILL because it is loaded with pork, see below.

$223M for Alaskan fisherman
$192M for rum producers in Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands
$128M for auto racing
$33M for companies operating in American Samoa
$10M for film & TV production
$6M for producers of wooden arrows

AND MUCH MORE!

I lost my mind and imagined the Senate would include safeguards for pensions, include funds for Small Business Administration loans, and provide some over-sight for the wall Street gamblers. But it didnt happen. They did what they always do, paid Judas his silver for cooperating.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Sweeteners! They're called "sweeteners", and apparently you have to add them to make the salivating idiots vote for the bill. It's all they understand anymore, like showing a bunch of 12 year-old boys pictures of naked tits.

What? The original bill was 2.5 pages, then the modified version was something like 12, and now it's up to 405. Now that's a bill!

 

[neonlyte]

The Bill was actually tacked onto the Renewable Energy Tax Relief Bill... with added sweetner. Incidently, the Bail-Out Bill is now costed at $850bn... but I guess they are hoping the House won't notice.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

DOC

I'm not sold by the conventional wisdom that the bill will pass the House. The sharks smell blood and will likely want more sweeteners before theyre satiated. I mean, it's a month before the election!

BEST GUESS: The bill will fail in the House today, and return Monday with lots more goodies. 405 pages is merely Introduction to what it can be.

NEOLYTE: The c/v says the final price will be 2 TRILLION. We have a ways to go.

 

[neonlyte]

The c/v says the final price will be 2 TRILLION. We have a ways to go.

I know... they are leaving off the $1.3tn of debt value. It is the con trick to end all con tricks.

 

[Saucy_Sage]

Fortunately, the Governor of Alaska will say "Thanks, but no thanks" to the $ 223,000,000 for the fishermen in her state.

 

[neonlyte]

Fortunately, the Governor of Alaska will say "Thanks, but no thanks" to the $ 223,000,000 for the fishermen in her state.

Absolutely! It has more value in buckshot, Russian man-traps, and moose skinning knives. Fishing's for wimps

 

[Saucy_Sage]

Absolutely! It has more value in buckshot, Russian man-traps, and moose skinning knives. Fishing's for wimps

Maybe so, but that makes them no less deserving of federal aid. For example, this woman recently revealed that she and her husband lost $20,000 in their 401(k) plan during the past couple of weeks.

http://thedeadguy.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/govpalin_commfishing-web.jpg

 

[Saucy_Sage]

BTW, how come there's no aid for porn writers? Where's the Hank/Bernanke Hanky-Panky Skanky Wanky Bill?

 

[neonlyte]

BTW, how come there's no aid for porn writers? Where's the Hank/Bernanke Hanky-Panky Skanky Wanky Bill?

It's been tacked onto the Sworn Believers Deserve Their Place in Heaven - Like F**k - Bill. It now reads: Sworn Believers Deserve to F**k in Hanky Panky in Heaven Bill.

ETA: I am so going Down Under

 

[Saucy_Sage]

It's been tacked onto the Sworn Believers Deserve Their Place in Heaven - Like F**k - Bill. It now reads: Sworn Believers Deserve to F**k in Hanky Panky in Heaven Bill.

ETA: I am so going Down Under

To Australia?? Take me with!

 

[dasweeness]

my experience with this stuff is limited to some of the things ive heard my dad say while going up (though i say his stuff makes sense).

why can't we just let failing businesses fail? isnt that part of capitalism? wouldn't any bailout just be like sweeping dirt under a rug: the mess is still there you just can't see it. the "pork" on the bill seems to prove that the politicians know that.

 

[Saucy_Sage]

my experience with this stuff is limited to some of the things ive heard my dad say while going up (though i say his stuff makes sense).

why can't we just let failing businesses fail? isnt that part of capitalism? wouldn't any bailout just be like sweeping dirt under a rug: the mess is still there you just can't see it. the "pork" on the bill seems to prove that the politicians know that.

Ah, what you need is an analogy. Let's say that Literotica represents the world economy, and scouries, to take one example, represents a failing bank. Sure, his "sales" are still good, but he finds himself unable to get credit he needs, from the other authors whom he desperately wants to convince that he's actually in good financial/editorial shape.

Okay so far? So if we let scouries collapse...

Never mind. I see your point.

 

[neonlyte]

Ah, what you need is an analogy. Let's say that Literotica represents the world economy, and scouries, to take one example, represents a failing bank. Sure, his "sales" are still good, but he finds himself unable to get credit he needs, from the other authors whom he desperately wants to convince that he's actually in good financial/editorial shape.

Okay so far? So if we let scouries collapse...

Never mind. I see your point.

The problem is that Grand Poo, BostonFictionWriter and InflatableGabby hold Scouries stock. If he goes... they go...


Never mind...

 

[DeeZire]

The problem is that Grand Poo, BostonFictionWriter and InflatableGabby hold Scouries stock. If he goes... they go...


Never mind...

Actually, BFW won the lottery (or so he says in a thread) so he should be able to bail out Scouries and save the LIT economy from certain ruin. The question remains, does BFW possess the altruism gene discussed in a recent thread? If not, the chances of him seeing the greater good as more important than his own good are not good at all.

Whatever action is taken, I think it would be imperative to strip Scouries of his 'Grand Poobah' status. Hasn't he done enough damage already? Should he be rewarded for his recklessness? Or should we, in Ami's words, take him to the town square to be drawn and quartered?

This LIT analogy is getting kind of freaky, isn't it?

 

[jomar]

We have to laugh or we'll cry. The fuckers can't help themselves, just like scorpions.

 

[starrkers]

It's been tacked onto the Sworn Believers Deserve Their Place in Heaven - Like F**k - Bill. It now reads: Sworn Believers Deserve to F**k in Hanky Panky in Heaven Bill.

ETA: I am so going Down Under

The door's always open, Neon

Anyone know when they're likely to vote (in hours/days/eons from now)?

 

[oggbashan]

The door's always open, Neon

Anyone know when they're likely to vote (in hours/days/eons from now)?

Lunchtime UK time. That's about 3 or 4 hours from now.

Og

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Peggy Noonan has a good article today. She makes two excellent points in it: Americans dont trust Bush or Congress to fix the financial mess they created AND Bush is a retard.