The great span between I Like You and I Love You.

[JessGabriel]

I often find myself in this conumdrum. I'm a very affectionate person, and expressing how I feel is part of that. Unfortunately, telling someone you love them a week after meeting will never go over well. It doesn't mean that I'm  in love with them. I just love spending time with them. I love how they make me feel. I feel a ton of affection for them. To quote middle school, I like-like them...a lot. I try to find creative ways to say this without making them cut and run. "I heart you" and "I adore you" are my best go-to's. Does anyone else have this issue? What terms do you use?

 

[Joxlrg]

Love is a multi meaning word.. I can LOVE you, as in I am in love with you.. I can love you as a friend.. I do believe friends can love each other without being (In Love). There is making Love which seems a bit different when you think about it.. Love makes itself.. And if it isn't there. Can you actually make it??

 

[Joxlrg]

Also I can say I love your jeans..
Wink Wink

 

[JessGabriel]

Love is a multi meaning word.. I can LOVE you, as in I am in love with you.. I can love you as a friend.. I do believe friends can love each other without being (In Love). There is making Love which seems a bit different when you think about it.. Love makes itself.. And if it isn't there. Can you actually make it??

I totally agree on friend love. That's one of the best kinds.

 

[ronde]

While I'll write that a character "loves" something or something about another character, if I'm writing about the feelings of one character to another, I'll usually use "like" or "like a lot" or "like being with you" unless it's really true love. The reason is probably my age. I consider love to be a superlative expressing the closest feeiing two people can share, the feeling of being one instead of two. Using "love" so casually reminds me of how most social media posts are written. Everybody seems into superlatives on social media no matter what they're writing about, both in their posts and in their comments. Everything is "insane", "awesome", "amazing", or some other superlative that used to mean something special. I'm old enough to remember when "insane" meant you were headed for a rubber room. Mountains could be "awesome" which meant you couldn't comprehend how something so huge could have happened. Magicians were "amazing" meant you saw it but couldn't believe it was real. Now they're just words people seem to use in an attempt to either make the original poster feel really good or to prove they can best or equal any other poster.

I don't remember ever having a character say they "love" another character unless they've been together for much longer than a week. I'll have one character muse to themselves that they do love the other, or tell another person they "think" they love another person, but if two characters tell each other that, it has to mean something special for them both.

 

[juttjaw]

For me, there has never been a confusion of meaning. I have always, freely, said "I love you". Maybe it was the way and by whom I was raised. It's never been a taboo word. I tell all kinds of people I love them, family, friends, kids, wife. I think there are certainly "depths" of love. A good work friend, I may love, but would I die for that person? Would I give up everything, deny my kids a father, my wife a husband and best friend? Probably not. I would certainly protect them if they were in danger, but I would choose my life over theirs, if that were to ever come up. It's a pretty disturbing way to think, but I've given this a lot of thought. In that cross over of feeling, that's a different type of love. That's all in. So, you can "LOVE" anyone, but would you sacrifice your life for them? It is a complex emotion and people that freak out at the word, may be confused about their place in it. That's their problem, not yours.

 

[VinnyVeritas]

WWBS


What Would Barney Say

 

[TarnishedPenny]

In answer to the original question, perhaps you could say anything which doesn't actually include the word 'love'. You've already come up with a couple.

One could say, "You're fun to be with," without making any major commitment.

"I like being with you," carries no guilt if things go south.

"I like your smile," can be true without being binding.

Any positive comment of that sort expresses friendship or (at least favourable feelings) without going over the line into Love.

 

[JessGabriel]

For me, there has never been a confusion of meaning. I have always, freely, said "I love you". Maybe it was the way and by whom I was raised. It's never been a taboo word. I tell all kinds of people I love them, family, friends, kids, wife. I think there are certainly "depths" of love. A good work friend, I may love, but would I die for that person? Would I give up everything, deny my kids a father, my wife a husband and best friend? Probably not. I would certainly protect them if they were in danger, but I would choose my life over theirs, if that were to ever come up. It's a pretty disturbing way to think, but I've given this a lot of thought. In that cross over of feeling, that's a different type of love. That's all in. So, you can "LOVE" anyone, but would you sacrifice your life for them? It is a complex emotion and people that freak out at the word, may be confused about their place in it. That's their problem, not yours.

Thank you. This was really helpful.

 

[FL30]

I often find myself in this conumdrum. I'm a very affectionate person, and expressing how I feel is part of that. Unfortunately, telling someone you love them a week after meeting will never go over well. It doesn't mean that I'm  in love with them. I just love spending time with them. I love how they make me feel. I feel a ton of affection for them. To quote middle school, I like-like them...a lot. I try to find creative ways to say this without making them cut and run. "I heart you" and "I adore you" are my best go-to's. Does anyone else have this issue? What terms do you use?

This is a really simple solution.

Get rid of "love" and just use like. I like being with you, I like spending time with you, I like how you make me feel, etc.

 

[JessGabriel]

I feel like I could’ve written this post myself. After a week into talking with someone a few months ago I told someone how much I enjoyed it and I thought I could really like them (never using the love word).

I guess it still freaked them out a bit and I was ghosted the next day. Kinda makes you a lil shy when it comes to being up front.

Right?! Thank you so much for responding to share that. And the pattern of ghosting is just ridonkulous.

 

[LustyScribe]

The line is frequently marked by the act of swallowing for me.

(No, not THAT swallowing, you pervs!)

I have had to learn to swallow those words a lot, I mean. I'm very much a romantic. I respond quickly (too quickly) to affection. To make it worse, I really do LOVE people. I genuinely care for people. I don't get the romantic & sexual love that I need in my marriage, and that makes me vulnerable. I fall in love (lower case) easily, but that would easily become being In Love if nurtured/fed. Provided, of course, they were the kind of person I could...love. So I just tend to swallow the words a lot.

Clear as mud?

 

[JessGabriel]

The line is frequently marked by the act of swallowing for me.

(No, not THAT swallowing, you pervs!)

I have had to learn to swallow those words a lot, I mean. I'm very much a romantic. I respond quickly (too quickly) to affection. To make it worse, I really do LOVE people. I genuinely care for people. I don't get the romantic & sexual love that I need in my marriage, and that makes me vulnerable. I fall in love (lower case) easily, but that would easily become being In Love if nurtured/fed. Provided, of course, they were the kind of person I could...love. So I just tend to swallow the words a lot.

Clear as mud?

Yes... THIS. Exactly. Lower case love... You're brilliant. Not that we can go around saying, "I lower case love you." I can just see the confused head tilts and scrunched faces now. But now I can explain it. THANK YOU.

 

[pink]

Don't ever use love after a week. Like ever.

 

[PMarky2]

I know I usually blurt out those three little words much too soon. However, for the last few years there has been someone I would like to say 'I love you' to, but it would be inappropriate and inopportune as I am married to someone else. She is much younger than I am, weird, and cute in a nerdy sort of a way. When I am with her I very much feel that I have found my other twin, and I think about making a life and a having a family with her when I do not guard my thoughts very carefully. So, I tell her I like her in a thousand different ways, paying her compliments, sending her things I think she might find interesting, asking her advice, speaking my mind to her, and encouraging her to speak hers to me hoping that she understands that I am, erm, attached to her, but am playing it by the rules. It is an interesting experience in that it is the exact opposite of my usual "club them and drag them back to the cave" style of showing that I am interested, but then, she did rather creep up on me emotionally.

 

[AlexBailey]

I often find myself in this conumdrum. I'm a very affectionate person, and expressing how I feel is part of that. Unfortunately, telling someone you love them a week after meeting will never go over well. It doesn't mean that I'm  in love with them. I just love spending time with them. I love how they make me feel. I feel a ton of affection for them. To quote middle school, I like-like them...a lot. I try to find creative ways to say this without making them cut and run. "I heart you" and "I adore you" are my best go-to's. Does anyone else have this issue? What terms do you use?

I’ve had the same issue with saying it too early and easily…. but it’s so true!

Do you believe in love at first sight? I’m certain that it happens all the time…

Meeting that special person who kindles your fires and melts your defenses… your heart can be wide open even if your legs aren’t spread.

Now go for a roll with that person - your endorphins rushing and you’re going to be have all of the same dopamine that true love can wield.

Don’t you love that? Don’t you love sharing that?

It may not be “uppercase Love” yet, but in the moment it’s hard to tell the difference.

A line that worked for me in that moment:

“I think I could fall in love with you.”