The fractured orison thread

[Bert Notorius]

Could I have a little less cowbell, please?

If you're not too busy...

 

[Bert Notorius]

I am grateful for this food,
May I realize the Path of Awakening,
For the sake of all beings.
But did you have to use so much salt?

 

[Bert Notorius]

Happily may I walk.
Happily, with abundant dark clouds, may I walk.
Happily, with abundant showers, may I walk.
Happily, with abundant plants, may I walk.
Happily, on a trail of pollen, may I walk.
Happily may I walk.
Being as it used to be long ago, may I walk.
But would it kill you to scare up a horse?

 

[Bert Notorius]

Oh Almighty! Lead us from the unreal (falsity)
to the real (truth) from darkness to light!
From death to immortality!
Oh Almighty! May there be Peace! Peace! Peace!
Oh, and Almighty, did you see Avatar?

Pretty cool, eh?

 

[Bert Notorius]

He who complains
does the dishes.

 

[Bert Notorius]

May there be good health and healing for this Earth,
May there be Beauty above me,
May there be Beauty below me,
May there be Beauty in me,
May there be Beauty all around me.
I ask that this world be filled with Peace, Love, and Beauty.
Preferably, 23, swf, nk, ns

 

[Bert Notorius]

Lord,
Look after a foolish old man.
Find him a dog and a rifle with iron sights.
He'd probably like to see you know who.
Grab some new teeth and a younger step,
Meat and potatoes are plenty fine.
Round up a few of the old gang that passed before
To show him the ropes.
Keep him warm.
Mostly dry.
I'll be along after bit,
As you well know.

~bert

 

[Bert Notorius]

Dear He Who Has Many Names,
Great things await me today:
Serving my fellow man.
Tending the sick.
Feeding to poor.
Until then,
could I get a little help
getting out of bed?

yeahmen

 

[Batch]

amen.

 

[Bert Notorius]

amen.

awomen.

 

[Batch]

aus...

 

[Bert Notorius]

Dear Solar Deity,

I appreciate your return.
You illuminate all the World's glory.
It's been so long.
Where the hell have you been?
There are stabbing pains in my eyes.
Where are my shades?
Oh my head.

I pray for darkness.

 

[Bert Notorius]

aus...

AUS Australia
AUS Austria
AUS American University of Sharjah
AUS Army of the United States
AUS Association of University Staff
AUS Automated Underwriting System (banking/loans/finance)
AUS Are You Serious?
AUS Artificial Urinary Sphincter
AUS Arts Undergraduate Society
AUS Auto Update Server (Cisco)
AUS Authority Services
AUS Acute Urethral Syndrome
AUS Austin, TX, USA - Austin Bergstrom International (Airport Code, formerly Robert Mueller Municipal Airport)
AUS Atlantic Universities Sport (Canadian group)
AUS Associate of the University of Surrey (UK)
AUS Automated Uncoupling System (railroad)
AUS Augusta and Summerville Railroad Company

 

[Batch]

ah
us

not amen
nor
awoman

but humans of both sexes.

 

[Bert Notorius]

ah
us

not amen
nor
awoman

but humans of both sexes.

ah

An idle brain is the Devil's workshop.

aus

 

[JohnnySavage]

ah
us

not amen
nor
awoman

but humans of both sexes.

What about the huwomens?

 

[Batch]

What about the huwomens?

has an irreverent tone to it.

 

[Bert Notorius]

has an irreverent tone to it.

Asking whatthefuckisthat all the time makes me seem like such a dweeb.

I pray for those willing to ask all my pertinent questions.

 

[Bert Notorius]

A Living Prayer

http://www.passportnewsletterblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/broken-guitar.jpg

 

[Bert Notorius]

I. Life
XIII. A Prayer.



I meant to have but modest needs,
Such as content, and heaven;
Within my income these could lie,
And life and I keep even.

But since the last included both,
It would suffice my prayer
But just for one to stipulate,
And grace would grant the pair.

And so, upon this wise I prayed, --
Great Spirit, give to me
A heaven not so large as yours,
But large enough for me.

A smile suffused Jehovah's face;
The cherubim withdrew;
Grave saints stole out to look at me,
And showed their dimples, too.

I left the place with all my might, --
My prayer away I threw;
The quiet ages picked it up,
And Judgment twinkled, too,

That one so honest be extant
As take the tale for true
That "Whatsoever you shall ask,
Itself be given you."

But I, grown shrewder, scan the skies
With a suspicious air, --
As children, swindled for the first,
All swindlers be, infer.

emily D.

 

[Batch]

Asking whatthefuckisthat all the time makes me seem like such a dweeb.

I pray for those willing to ask all my pertinent questions.

it is your sackcloth
your burden
etc.

 

[Bert Notorius]

it is your sackcloth
your burden
etc.

my hair shirt

 

[tactful]

Deep thread,
makes for thought.

 

[Batch]

my hair shirt

your honey and locusts, too.

 

[Byron In Exile]

Could I have a little less cowbell, please?

If you're not too busy...

Sed quis orationes tuas audiet, Bertori?