Light Ice
A Real Bastard
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2003
- Posts
- 5,397
Alright,
I'm trying to pay it forward to some of the guys here. I always heard of these things and thought the concept was stupid. A ploy, as it were, to make money. Actually, a common drunken lament of mine was the absolute horror that were male sex toys in comparison to females. Females, I would say, always had the best hardware. They had toys that could do eighty million different things at six different speeds.
The sex toys I saw for men, I would say, were creepy flashlights you hand-fucked and a bunch of lower torsos with weird dangling legs that reminded me of a serial killer's sick demented dream.
I absolutely stand by the fact that I could not masturbate myself on a toy that looked like a bisected female lower torso. Gross.
But a buddy of mine who I have known for a very long time and I went out and he confessed after a few drinks that his current girlfriend bought him one and it was amazing. I trust this guy. He is not prone to exaggeration.
So I went online and I bought one. I'm still a little embarrassed to say it. I've no idea why, really, when sex toys are such a common part of everyone's bedroom in some facet or another. I guess that my stigma that a guy's toys are just awful was pretty strongly upheld.
I was wrong. It's an amazing little thing. I'm a stranger to all of you, I get it, but I still say you're crazy if you don't get one. No, it doesn't feel like the real thing. How could it? But it does feel great. It isn't nearly as creepy feeling to use as I was worried, although it did take me a minute to get over what I was using - but it is a worthy addition to your bedroom.
I'd say it is still a little less impressive, at least in concept and look, as some of the girl toys that I've seen - but it is really good at what it does.
I'm trying to pay it forward to some of the guys here. I always heard of these things and thought the concept was stupid. A ploy, as it were, to make money. Actually, a common drunken lament of mine was the absolute horror that were male sex toys in comparison to females. Females, I would say, always had the best hardware. They had toys that could do eighty million different things at six different speeds.
The sex toys I saw for men, I would say, were creepy flashlights you hand-fucked and a bunch of lower torsos with weird dangling legs that reminded me of a serial killer's sick demented dream.
I absolutely stand by the fact that I could not masturbate myself on a toy that looked like a bisected female lower torso. Gross.
But a buddy of mine who I have known for a very long time and I went out and he confessed after a few drinks that his current girlfriend bought him one and it was amazing. I trust this guy. He is not prone to exaggeration.
So I went online and I bought one. I'm still a little embarrassed to say it. I've no idea why, really, when sex toys are such a common part of everyone's bedroom in some facet or another. I guess that my stigma that a guy's toys are just awful was pretty strongly upheld.
I was wrong. It's an amazing little thing. I'm a stranger to all of you, I get it, but I still say you're crazy if you don't get one. No, it doesn't feel like the real thing. How could it? But it does feel great. It isn't nearly as creepy feeling to use as I was worried, although it did take me a minute to get over what I was using - but it is a worthy addition to your bedroom.
I'd say it is still a little less impressive, at least in concept and look, as some of the girl toys that I've seen - but it is really good at what it does.
