The first two poems I have ever written have been posted. Critique would be helpful

[Xodus]

Since I really don't know much about writing poetry. Any help would be appreciated.
Here is the second one that just got posted.
Thanks

Love's Agony
by Xodus ©

The silhouette of her soft cheeks
The smell of anticipation
The paddle nourishes my hand
The pain awakens sensation

Leather strikes yielding flesh
Not finding evasion
Her pain is pure pleasure
Her pleasure affliction

Her triumph to receive
Mine to bestow
She revels the agony
Blow after blow

I pour my love like water
Over the scarlet mounds
She spews her love like lava
Crying begging coming sounds

 

[WickedEve]

I already see improvement over the first one you wrote. I think it helped to write from your own perspective in this case.
You may want to watch some phrases in upcoming poems you write. Here are a few that are used quite often and you may want to come up with some alternatives:
Pure pleasure (I'd try not to use "pleasure" twice in a short poem. That word has been worn out a bit.)
Blow after Blow
Pour like Water
Spew like Lava

Anyway, you're headed in the right direction.

PS... I'll try to think of some alternatives to give you as an example. But at the moment my well is dry. Oh, that's kind of cliché... tee hee

 

[KillerMuffin]

You're getting there on your imagery.

"Spews her love like lava" is about the strongest image you have. It's also sort of turn-offish. It's the word choice. "Spew" is a word that has bad connotations. Rush Limbaugh spews rhetoric. Babies spew milk. Trolls spew hate.

You've got mostly bland or iffy word choices in there. Like WE said, a bit of it is cliche.

This has the feel of something that's a bit of an "ode to my lover" poem, without being that. You wrote it for or about your lover. I would advise you to narrow down a lot more.

Take an image, a single image, like the color of her butt after a good paddling, and then free flow words, just a list of words, for a while. Take those words and arrange them into a poem.

Don't describe an activity, which you're doing here, but the image. It's really hard for a beginner to get a good poem from an activity--particularly with rhyme involved--that just doesn't sound cliche. And yours, I'm afraid, is halfway cliche.

Anyway, concentrate on word pictures. Use more metaphor than simile. My love is a red, red rose. Use word pictures that describe more than one thing. You can describe her rosy buttcheeks as a blushing smile. Double entendres as it were. Good images have more than one meaning in them. They evoke a feeling or a picture, they don't describe it.

Kill the repetition. It didn't work for this poem, particularly since you didn't carry it through.

 

[Xodus]

Thanks, Muffin
Maby I should just stick to stories

 

[KillerMuffin]

Maybe you shouldn't.

Writing poetry can only improve your prose. It teaches you a lot of things, like economy of words, imagery, and it flexes your voice muscles.