The femdom discourse

[Krinein]

I suppose this question could extend to males, but male domination doesn't seem to deviate much from common patriarchal ideologies. What interests me is female domination, which seems to have taken a different route than male domination.

I've come across numerous porn stories and sites and it sometimes seems to me that like feminism, there are different credo's or discourses for femdoms and that these might be grouped together under certain banners. I understand that each domme has her own interests and perhaps philosophy, but I wondered if there were indeed categories of female domination like there are categories of feminism?

For example: In feminism there are social feminists and there are also radical feminists.

If there are sub-cultures (if you will) of female domination under the Femdom umbrella, what are they and what does each of them stand for on a philosophical level?

 

[Netzach]

"male domination doesn't seem to deviate much from common patriarchal ideologies."

There are a lot of Mdoms who view their orientation as a private accident of sexual wiring rather than a culturally obvious conclusion, or even a knee-jerk reaction to feminist progress. This is how I view my orientation, and I'm a FemDom - some majorly insane family dynamics having nothing to do with the men in my family no doubt helped me along.

I'm not a female supermacist, thought I find scenes revolving around that idea as with other totally absurd notions, an absolute riot and I'm a female supermacist for the argument of a guy's misery just like I can be Mommy or a nun or whatever else.

Does Feminism lead to my orientation? Only inasmuch as it puts the notion of me, as a woman, thinking about, naming, and making moves in tune with MY OWN sexual desires -- on the table at all, in any regard. For M/f people yearning for pre-feminist society I'm always kind of amazed, as very few people describe traditional marriage as anything like sexually fulfilling. Sex just wasn't something you thought about, masturbation was seen as a sickness, it just can't have been all that *fun.*

I don't see categories really. I see a whole host of women preferring the power position in relationships for a whole host of reasons. I see the same thing in MDom if I choose to look remotely below the surface of things, or actually talk to some guys who ID as such, too.

 

[amadaun]

"male domination doesn't seem to deviate much from common patriarchal ideologies."

There are a lot of Mdoms who view their orientation as a private accident of sexual wiring rather than a culturally obvious conclusion, or even a knee-jerk reaction to feminist progress. This is how I view my orientation, and I'm a FemDom - some majorly insane family dynamics having nothing to do with the men in my family no doubt helped me along.

I realize this is slightly offtopic, but I'd like to chime in with Netzach here as a female sub. As a feminist, I definitely would not be down with playing with a male dominant who saw himself in the tradition of "common patriarchal ideologies". Brr, no thanks. I'll take a little more of the sense of playful performative irony, "Haha, look at us acting out these misogynist tropes in our personal sexual lives, isn't this hot?" with a side of "now stop laughing and suck my cock, bitch".

We now return you to your regularly scheduled femdom programming.

 

[Netzach]

I realize this is slightly offtopic, but I'd like to chime in with Netzach here as a female sub. As a feminist, I definitely would not be down with playing with a male dominant who saw himself in the tradition of "common patriarchal ideologies". Brr, no thanks. I'll take a little more of the sense of playful performative irony, "Haha, look at us acting out these misogynist tropes in our personal sexual lives, isn't this hot?" with a side of "now stop laughing and suck my cock, bitch".

We now return you to your regularly scheduled femdom programming.

That almost makes it sound good. And I can definitely put a butch/femme template on it, too.

 

[LadyAria]

If you want to strive for that angle, then you need to look at the male submissive's position as well. Is he not equally empowered by his submission? Yes, the woman owns her sexuality, but does the male not as well?

Men have a right to the pleasure of surrender which is perhaps the last great male taboo. Women do not get a monopoly on the foreplay in a F/m dynamic as traditional view "feminine desire". Erotic touch feels good regardless of gender. The male orgasm is over simplified in western culture as a given and tied to ejaculation. One of the arts I enjoy in FemDom is teaching a male how to have one without the other. The control over the release of fluids can be very empowering for men.

I'd write more, but I have an appointment I need to attend.

Afterthought, simplifying the Male Dom's role as not deviating "much from common patriarchal ideologies" seems insulting as an oversimplification as well.

 

[Aeroil]

There are as many types of Femdom as there are of Mdom.

You can find Dommes who are only interested in BDSM play in the bedroom.

You can find Dommes who are really playful, and easy going

You can find Dommes who think that BDSM is a serious undertaking, that collaring is akin to proposing.

You can find Dommes who think they are superior to males genetically, and that submission is theirs by right.

You can find Dommes who demand complete obedience from those who've submitted to them.

I know, because I've seen/met at least one of each of these.
Really, Dommes are people, yanno, there is no "Institute of Femdom" so it just comes down to people's personal preference. And, yes, that generates a lot of variety.

I would also like to chime in with Netzach as a female sub, as clearly I'm as much of a female sub as she is. >:3

 

[MasterPhoenix]

I do dissent with the OP's assertion that Male Domination is part of the linnage of patriachal yadda yadda yadda...

I am a strong believer in equal rights for women... from Nancy Pelosi as speaker of the House down to rose's right to be submissive to Me...

Yeah I am a Dominant male... I have had a tendency in situations all My life to fill al leadership vaccuum if one was present... Yeah I have a bit of a sadistic streak... That is just Me.

 

[amadaun]

I would also like to chime in with Netzach as a female sub, as clearly I'm as much of a female sub as she is. >:3

Durr... poorly phrased, but obviously I was referring to myself as a female sub, not the lovely and clearly dominant Netzach.

 

[Still Falling]

If you want to strive for that angle, then you need to look at the male submissive's position as well. Is he not equally empowered by his submission? Yes, the woman owns her sexuality, but does the male not as well?

To take LadyAria's lead here is my perspective as a male slave. i submit my self to my Mistress solely because of who She is as a person; the fact that She is a women really only comes into it at the very basis of sexual orientation and consequently attraction. As a male, i don't think either gender is more superior; and with my own relationship i am certainly not made to feel inferior for being a man.

M'lady is certainly a progressive thinker in relation to the feminist movement, and does get indignant about the over exertion of misogynistic attitudes. However, She also recognises that there is also growth in social resentment towards men that isn't particularly healthy either. For example the rapid decline in male teachers working with children (particularly pre-pederast) due to the rampant pedophile-phobia attributed somewhat collectively to all men.

So in short i don't think F/m dynamic is typically a social expression. i think, as others have said it comes back down to sexuality, which is always far more individually defined.

 

[Lester_Hammond]

I suppose this question could extend to males, but male domination doesn't seem to deviate much from common patriarchal ideologies. What interests me is female domination, which seems to have taken a different route than male domination.

I've come across numerous porn stories and sites and it sometimes seems to me that like feminism, there are different credo's or discourses for femdoms and that these might be grouped together under certain banners. I understand that each domme has her own interests and perhaps philosophy, but I wondered if there were indeed categories of female domination like there are categories of feminism?

For example: In feminism there are social feminists and there are also radical feminists.

If there are sub-cultures (if you will) of female domination under the Femdom umbrella, what are they and what does each of them stand for on a philosophical level?

In my book it is an inner experience. There is nothing more amazing than the notion of being tied up and dominated by a beautiful woman with a whip. It is something that no image, story or film can ever satisfy. True meaning comes from experiencing it.

But this is only my opinion. There are probably countless other opinions on what female domination is. I would like to know that I can shape my fantasies into something more concrete so that I can gain even greater meaning and satisfaction from them. But I don't think this will be an option for me. I don't think I will EVER get to experience my fantasies in real life.

I've seen images and films of femdom and none of them are *quite* what I think femdom is. None of them provide full satisfaction and I'm not creative enough to express myself through art or through writing. So the only way I could ever gain true satisfaction from femdom is if I found a domme in real life. But we all know that is never going to happen because if you scratch a little deeper into the femdom fetish world you see something sinister.

Femdom is only liked by a small community of people worldwide. It is even illegal in some countries. I happened to stumble upon it in a film, which was rated a 12. So I can hardly be blamed for what I enjoy. But that still makes me a bad person doesn't it!

On the one hand it is illegal to experience it but on the other hand it is advertised through films, stories and even in computer games! Domination and submission (regardless of gender) is extremely toxic stuff and once you get into it, it is hard to escape from it. Suddenly you're sucked into a situation from which there is no hope of escape. Stimulants are all around but it is a sin to get off on them!

Femdom is a burden. Whether you choose sensual domination or more extreme forms, you're still seen as a perv in the eyes of most of society.

What I'm saying is this: I like femdom and it would be amazing in a perfect world. But in our world it is a burden. If I knew a way to lose my interest in female domination, I would follow that course of action tomorrow.

If you're interested in female domination (which from your question I think perhaps you are), I would like to offer you some advice. Leave well alone. Turn the other way and never look back...otherwise you might live to regret it later.

 

[Aeroil]

In my book it is an inner experience. There is nothing more amazing than the notion of being tied up and dominated by a beautiful woman with a whip. It is something that no image, story or film can ever satisfy. True meaning comes from experiencing it.

But this is only my opinion. There are probably countless other opinions on what female domination is. I would like to know that I can shape my fantasies into something more concrete so that I can gain even greater meaning and satisfaction from them. But I don't think this will be an option for me. I don't think I will EVER get to experience my fantasies in real life.

I've seen images and films of femdom and none of them are *quite* what I think femdom is. None of them provide full satisfaction and I'm not creative enough to express myself through art or through writing. So the only way I could ever gain true satisfaction from femdom is if I found a domme in real life. But we all know that is never going to happen because if you scratch a little deeper into the femdom fetish world you see something sinister.

Femdom is only liked by a small community of people worldwide. It is even illegal in some countries. I happened to stumble upon it in a film, which was rated a 12. So I can hardly be blamed for what I enjoy. But that still makes me a bad person doesn't it!

On the one hand it is illegal to experience it but on the other hand it is advertised through films, stories and even in computer games! Domination and submission (regardless of gender) is extremely toxic stuff and once you get into it, it is hard to escape from it. Suddenly you're sucked into a situation from which there is no hope of escape. Stimulants are all around but it is a sin to get off on them!

Femdom is a burden. Whether you choose sensual domination or more extreme forms, you're still seen as a perv in the eyes of most of society.

What I'm saying is this: I like femdom and it would be amazing in a perfect world. But in our world it is a burden. If I knew a way to lose my interest in female domination, I would follow that course of action tomorrow.

If you're interested in female domination (which from your question I think perhaps you are), I would like to offer you some advice. Leave well alone. Turn the other way and never look back...otherwise you might live to regret it later.

One could say the exact same thing about being gay, or bi, or trans, but we cannot help the way we feel, and I for one refuse to be shackled by our convoluted society.

 

[Aeroil]

Durr... poorly phrased, but obviously I was referring to myself as a female sub, not the lovely and clearly dominant Netzach.

nice save ^_^

 

[Krinein]

I'm not a female supermacist

Thank you, Netzach. This is one that I do know of, particularly discovered recently, and which is why I posemy questionto the forum.

However, I think many (as I have read) are not getting my question: simply are there categories of female domination (I think we can safely say there is at least one) and what are they? I chose deliberately to leave out male doms because patriarchy, in a way, has already had a long reaching period of male dominance, and a personal philosophy is never the same as an ideology (well - sometimes).

Anyhow, example: The female supremicist that I crossed paths with (and her "posse," as she referred) had a whole manifesto written out and to which I was (unfortunately, because I was most certainly curious) hardly privvy. However, after this I wondered if there were other sects of female domination.

I understand that no one enjoys categories, yet, and certainly not to be rude, Femdom is one. Similar to a family tree, I wondered if there were branches of female domination (types of femdoms, if you will) with similar philosophies and interests?

 

[Netzach]

Thank you, Netzach. This is one that I do know of, particularly discovered recently, and which is why I posemy questionto the forum.

However, I think many (as I have read) are not getting my question: simply are there categories of female domination (I think we can safely say there is at least one) and what are they? I chose deliberately to leave out male doms because patriarchy, in a way, has already had a long reaching period of male dominance, and a personal philosophy is never the same as an ideology (well - sometimes).

Anyhow, example: The female supremicist that I crossed paths with (and her "posse," as she referred) had a whole manifesto written out and to which I was (unfortunately, because I was most certainly curious) hardly privvy. However, after this I wondered if there were other sects of female domination.

I understand that no one enjoys categories, yet, and certainly not to be rude, Femdom is one. Similar to a family tree, I wondered if there were branches of female domination (types of femdoms, if you will) with similar philosophies and interests?

I would say there are those of us with manifestos and those without.

But there are so many ways to be an MDom too. You have male supremacy and Gor, you have Leather, you have poly and non and all kinds of quirks. I personally just get to know people and what boxes they put themselves into.

I guess I'm a post-feminist, new guard, leather-friendly, queer, poly, "bottom and submit first" traditionalist.