The Ex-Husband

[brescia]

'jkl';lkj'jlk

 

[mr_rippley]

very hot and all too brief. Sounds like you have a mystery man in your past

 

[KarmaPolice19]

That was actually really hot.
I kind of like how brief it was as it wasn't to heavy to read. But it has left me hungry for more.

 

[kbate]

edited quickly - for redundancy and flow.

Don't need the laundry list descriptions of their bodies, don't need the nationalities and don't need to read "before I knew it" more than one time in any story. Delete your adverbs - and change your dialogue attribution to 'said' which is far stronger than proclaimed. Stop using "proceed" for actions and just tell us that she undressed rather than proceeded to undress.

For a first effort it is OK, but you stopped on the feelings too soon and jumped into the meaningless sex. I would rather read about her feelings throughout the encounter rather than knowing that he was doing it good.

The Ex-Husband

It happened by accident really. While strolling down the canned foods isle, I saw him. I hadn't seen him for many years. He was more like a part of a previous life, the life of my youth. I married him when I was a pregnant teenager, he had been very abusive, and the marriage which lasted only six years. but I decided to take the high road and greeted him with a smile. He looked basically the same as I remember him. Standing 5'8" and weighing a stocky 200 pounds, he looked very healthy. We spoke briefly, and I abruptly said goodbye and left for the checkout line. With a mixed set of feelings, I made eye-contact with him.

As I pushed the cart to my car, I tried to trying to forget the incident. After I finished loading my groceries, I saw him again, He was about 20 yards away, staring at me. My immediate reaction was of annoyance. He was standing behind in back of his car, and I stared back at him. Feeling confused, I slammed the trunk, and was about to just get in my car and leave. To my surprise, he was suddenly upon me! Just as I was about to blurt out my disapproval, we suddenly made fierce eye contact. I found myself temporarily speechless. What was going on?

“I live two blocks away,” he finally said. I was stunned at his arrogance! Did he actually think that I was going to sleep with him? As I was thinking of a way to let him know how I felt, he reached out with one of his big hands and grasped my hand. He started to walk, and I followed, almost as if I were in a trance. Maybe a part of me actually wanted to go? Before I knew it, we were driving silently to his house. We were silent. Somehow I felt that it was almost beneath me to speak to him, yet here I was in the passenger seat!

Before I knew it, We were was walking up the steps to his apartment, and finally inside when reality finally hit me. What am I doing? I’m married with two children at home! As he entered his bedroom, he said he would be out in a few minutes. I quickly thought about just leaving, now. Instead, almost involuntary, I removed my sweater, and proceeded to undress.

The 11 a.m. sun shined brightly through the window, which faced out towards town. I felt excited, yet very uncomfortable. Was I actually going to do this? I thought again about just putting on my clothes and leaving, or maybe explaining that I couldn’t do this! Before I could ponder this, the bedroom door opened. He walked out naked. fully undressed, seemingly totally apathetic to the situation. We both walked to his bed, which only had a white sheet on it. It finally hit me, yes, this was going to happen.

When I left the house on this Saturday morning, I never wouldn’t dreamed that I would sleep with another man before I returned, much less him! As mentioned, he had been abusive, but I don’t think any woman would have complained with his performance in the bedroom. There we were, lying side by side. He started kissing my cheek and down to my neck, as I tilted my head to one side. Then he placed one of his big hands on my breasts and firmly fondled them. I finally began to relax. I wanted him.

He maneuvered on top of me and began to suck my now hard nipples, then moved down and kissed my stomach down to my belly button. I felt an excitement that I hadn’t for a long time. Finally, he moved his mouth between my legs. As I held one hand on top of his bushy black hair, he ate out my Italian pussy like it hadn’t been since we did it last, long, long ago. I came once, and allowed myself to make the noises that I have trained myself not to make do, for fear of being heard.

He then lay on his back. I reached out and fondled his half erect cock and balls. Finally, I went down on his hard 8” Filipino cock. Unlike my husband, he allowed himself to make the sounds of pleasure. A s I held his cock in one hand, I licked his nice big balls. Abruptly, he raised himself up and moved me onto my hands and knees and Very quickly, he thrust himself into me! He proceeded to fucked me like no man has since the very last time we did it - so long ago. I arched my back and lifted my ass into the air to receive him even better. As he grunted and sunk his big brown Filipino cock deep into my Italian pussy. I let out with loud sounds of pleasure! As we fucked, I could feel his thumb gently sink into my asshole. As I came hard a second time, as I felt I could feel his hot cum release deep inside of me!

Later, before we parted, he finally set aside his arrogance and proclaimed said that he really wanted to see me again. pp

No, this was just going to be the only time that I would break my marriage vows.

 

[brescia]

I think I got shy

'ljl;kj';l

 

[kbate]

Usually, I ramble on. However, since it was a hypothetical about myself, I got a little shy and cut it short. I think kbate's analysis was helpful, but it seems to me that some physical description is necessary. p

Why? His size does not play into the story other than in that you mention his height and weight. The length of his penis has no important part, nor does her breast size, hair colour or their nationality.

The sex is the same as any heterosexual sexual encounter, regardless of their curly black hair.

Only include details in a short story that advance the story - these descriptions do not, thus are redlined for deletion. If in some way, it is important to the story that he is Filipino and she is Italian, then write in some manner of sex or action only possible for a Filipino or Italian. These are basic short story rules, not my rules.

 

[Rubnesque]

I have to agree with Kbate. The way s/he edited your story made it better. There were many grammatical errors that took me from the action. Plus, you should mention their nationality prior to the sexual encounter if it's important for your readers to know. The physical descriptions can be inserted into a short story, but not quite as abruptly.