the dildo song

[Problem Child]

This is for miles and unclebill and lavy and modest mouse and all the other people acting so belligerent on the Taliban thread. All you kids grab a dildo and sing along!

And it's especially for ppman, because he's the biggest dildo of them all!





you stick it in your pussy
you slam it in your ass

they're sometimes made of rubber
and even made of glass

some are smooth and skinny
and others ribbed and fat

dildos are a wonderful thing
now what do you think of that?

OOOOHHHHH....

Dildos
Dildos
Fantastic fake dicks

Dildos
Dildos
Wonderful ersatz pricks

Dildos
Dildos
for an artificial fuck

If we had no dildos then the world would plainly suck!

I took a big fat dildo
and rammed it in my butt

and ooh'ed and aah'ed
and shivered and shook

and felt like such a slut

and when the time came near
for me to shoot my cum

the big fat dildo in my ass
just made my prostate humm

OOOOHHHHH....

Dildos
Dildos
Fantastic fake dicks

Dildos
Dildos
Wonderful ersatz pricks

Dildos
Dildos
for an artificial fuck

If we had no dildos then the world would plainly suck!

 

[Azwed]

Bravo Bravo Encore Encore.

 

[Mistress]

If we had no dildos then the world would plainly suck!

/agree

 

[Rubyfruit]

I'm thinking PC really wants a turn on the sybian.

Come on baby, I know you want to sit your sweet, virgin ass upon this dildo. You want to feel it rotating over and over again against your prostate, while your ever-tightening balls lay directly on the vibrating base.

I bet you could even convince me to suck your cock while you ride.

But only if you ask really nicely.

 

[Mike Hammer]

This is for miles and unclebill and lavy and modest mouse and all the other people acting so belligerent on the Taliban thread.

You mean to tell me they're just acting? Great, what the fuck am I going to do with all these notes I've been taking.

 

[T.H. Oughts]

My gosh PC, I even consider that slightly funny.... and fancy it's coming from you

 

[Rhys]

My gosh PC, I even consider that slightly funny.... and fancy it's coming from you

Heh...I'm trying to set it to music right now...

 

[Problem Child]

My gosh PC, I even consider that slightly funny.... and fancy it's coming from you

I'm so happy you approve, you silly cunt.

 

[T.H. Oughts]

I'm so happy you approve, you silly cunt.

Silly?.......Actually hilarious on a really good day

 

[TN_Vixen]

Silly?.......Actually hilarious on a really good day

yeah? when?

 

[Azwed]

i am working on the music thing too.

Can't come up with any particular song but I see it having a kind of stacato(Sp? been a while since i played) style. It would need to have a good base guitar or tuba accompinemnt.

Bah it is really to late i can't spell anymore.

 

[modest mouse]

PC,

You no good lying motherfucker, you promised a hardcore anal session. Just because you have new ass to torment doesnt mean you should forget about old friends.

Yours Truly,

Bewildered in Nebraska

 

[Problem Child]

It's been scientifically proven that the rolleyes smiley is one of the deadliest in the arsenal.

O! the humanity!

Been accosted by any adoring checkout girls lately, hon? I know it's rough, being a celebrity and all.

 

[Problem Child]

PC,

You no good lying motherfucker, you promised a hardcore anal session. Just because you have new ass to torment doesnt mean you should forget about old friends.

Yours Truly,

Bewildered in Nebraska

An ass tournament? We're having an ass tournament? I want to be entered in the anal jousting. Mounted, of course.

 

[Rubyfruit]

You can be such a dick, PC.

 

[TN_Vixen]

PC

I believe you should address the poor young man's post about ass fucking. He does sound slightly desperate and disturbed.

 

[T.H. Oughts]

It's been scientifically proven that the rolleyes smiley is one of the deadliest in the arsenal.

.... and another one for the donkey you rode in on

 

[Problem Child]

.... and another one for the donkey you rode in on

My, my you are creative. Do you include these stinging gems in your novels, or do you spend endless minutes wringing your brain just to hurl them ineffectually at me?

 

[TN_Vixen]

.... and another one for the donkey you rode in on

Now THAT'S fucking hilarious.

 

[Problem Child]

You can be such a dick, PC.

Apparently, you're not alone in that assessment.

 

[T.H. Oughts]

My, my you are creative. Do you include these stinging gems in your novels, or do you spend endless minutes wringing your brain just to hurl them ineffectually at me?

Darling it comes so easy...you are such a slow moving target

 

[Rhys]

i am working on the music thing too.

Can't come up with any particular song but I see it having a kind of stacato(Sp? been a while since i played) style. It would need to have a good base guitar or tuba accompinemnt.

Bah it is really to late i can't spell anymore.

Oh yeah...I'm thinking full orchestral score here with
long drawn out Floyd style solos for the tuba and oboe.

 

[TN_Vixen]

Apparently, you're not alone in that assessment.

yeah, you're right. I think you're a dick too. A big one. A big fat dick, a huge pulsating throbbing dick. A huge fat pulsating, throbbing, drooling dick.

yeah. That's what I think.

heh

 

[Problem Child]

Darling it comes so easy...you are such a slow moving target

Better. Not great, but you're showing improvement. I would get away from the rolleyes smiley as a crutch though.

Remember- with insults, as with whining about how much being famous sucks, practice makes perfect!

 

[modest mouse]

An ass tournament? We're having an ass tournament? I want to be entered in the anal jousting. Mounted, of course.

Not so much a tournament as a double ended battle of wills. First one to bleed loses.