The desire for sex

[bisexualsmoker]

I thought I was maybe gay until
about four monthe ago when I met this woman.
She is beautiful,has an hourglass figure, is
so fashionable she'd make other
women jelous. She is artsy and has become my best friend.
I stopped having sex with guys
and got tested fot std's(I'm clean),
all in anticipitation of having sex
with her.
The thing is,outside of a nightly
goodbye hug and kiss she basically repels my flirtations.
She knows how I feel about her,
I've told her I love her, and I know
I am very important to her too.
She does a lot for me.
I think things could get stale soon,
so after buying her a nice xmas
gift I am going to tell her we should only meet once a week for
awhile to gain some perspective.
Sometimes I get paranoid thinking there is somebody else
in her life,
because there just isn't enough
physical contact between us.
If things don't change soon I'll
just have to consider her a good
friend of mine, and I'll go back to
having sex with guys.
At least I tried.

 

[satindesire]

I thought I was maybe gay until
about four monthe ago when I met this woman.
She is beautiful,has an hourglass figure, is
so fashionable she'd make other
women jelous. She is artsy and has become my best friend.
I stopped having sex with guys
and got tested fot std's(I'm clean),
all in anticipitation of having sex
with her.
The thing is,outside of a nightly
goodbye hug and kiss she basically repels my flirtations.
She knows how I feel about her,
I've told her I love her, and I know
I am very important to her too.
She does a lot for me.
I think things could get stale soon,
so after buying her a nice xmas
gift I am going to tell her we should only meet once a week for
awhile to gain some perspective.
Sometimes I get paranoid thinking there is somebody else
in her life,
because there just isn't enough
physical contact between us.
If things don't change soon I'll
just have to consider her a good
friend of mine, and I'll go back to
having sex with guys.
At least I tried.

Sweetie, you can't make someone love you.

If she doesn't love you, either remove yourself from her life, or be okay with just being her platonic friend. Those are your only two healthy options. Trying to guilt her into dating you by spending money on a "nice" christmas gift and then dropping the bomb on her right after that? Seriously not cool.

Why don't you just pause for a while and reflect on your situation. She isn't into you. You aren't ENTITLED to sex/a relationship with her just because you want it. It takes TWO people to be together, and you're one person short here.

I suggest you back off. She just doesn't love you romantically, and she's perfectly within her rights to not love you. Women are allowed to have platonic male friends.

 

[NightL]

I am going to tell her we should only meet once a week for awhile...

At least I tried.

First - bullshit
Second - No way have you tried and now be prepared to dismiss - if you really do want her, the trying has just begun.

Rule no. 1 = defeatism - if together you spark that rule is forgotten in an instant - so are you just whimping out and offering her a gilded exit card?

No 2. STOP - THINK - it is not about "what do I have to do?" but you putting your head into her realm and trying to understand her thoughts on "I might be interested in this guy if...?" Now if you can work that out from her perspective and decide that that you can deliver with a genuine heart, well you may have a chance.

You have to get over Rule no. 1 first though.

 

[bumlicker]

come on people!!

she just wants someone to shop with dont all women have a gay guy to shop and gossip with

 

[Eilan]

she just wants someone to shop with dont all women have a gay guy to shop and gossip with

Strong stereotyping in this post.

 

[monkeyman057]

I thought I was maybe gay until
about four monthe ago when I met this woman.
She is beautiful,has an hourglass figure, is
so fashionable she'd make other
women jelous. She is artsy and has become my best friend.
I stopped having sex with guys
and got tested fot std's(I'm clean),
all in anticipitation of having sex
with her.
The thing is,outside of a nightly
goodbye hug and kiss she basically repels my flirtations.
She knows how I feel about her,
I've told her I love her, and I know
I am very important to her too.
She does a lot for me.
I think things could get stale soon,
so after buying her a nice xmas
gift I am going to tell her we should only meet once a week for
awhile to gain some perspective.
Sometimes I get paranoid thinking there is somebody else
in her life,
because there just isn't enough
physical contact between us.
If things don't change soon I'll
just have to consider her a good
friend of mine, and I'll go back to
having sex with guys.
At least I tried.

It sounds to me like you've already been 'friend zoned'. It's been my experience that that's a very difficult thing to change. Chances are, she'll only ever see you as a friend. The fact that she's not interested in you romantically doesn't mean you're gay - it just means she's not interested in you. If you've found yourself sexually attracted to this woman then what's to say you won't meet another woman for whom you have similar feelings?

If you have an interest in being with a woman (any woman) romantically and sexually then you're not gay. It's OK to like both men and women (something that I assume you already know judging by your username). It didn't work out with this woman but there are lots of women out there. Be her friend but let her go. Meanwhile, you should get back to enjoying your life. Putting your sex life (and your social life) on hold in the hopes that she's going to change her mind about you is going to be a lesson in frustration and you may end up missing out on meeting the right person while she's reaping all the rewards of you being a dedicated 'friend'.

No one deserves to feel like they are being strung along. If that's how you're feeling then try to muster up the self respect to recognize that you deserve better than that. People can only treat you that way if you let them.

 

[bisexualsmoker]

-----------------

Thanks for all your replies.
She is the dominant one in the relationship so to speak.
She says she is fine with how I feel about her and has
strong feelings for me too,
whatever that means.
I know by the way she looks
at me sometimes there is some sexual attraction.
I tried to limit the amount of times we get together before. She would say meet
me on Wednesday, and I would say I can't make it
until Sunday. She would then
call me on Wednesday and
ask where I was and guilt trip me into going to her place.
She's done this repeatedly.
She relies on me very much
emotionally amongst other
things.
We must see less of each other to keep the relationship healthy, even if
this means I sometime don't
answer when she calls.
She is sweet and I want to
stay friends. I wish her the
best. I wasn't in love with her
at first either. I need a break though.

 

[pplwatching]

.....

 

[bisexualsmoker]

--------------

She knows I'm bisexual, or rather
have had sex with men. The way
she is acting though, I can't figure
out though,so I won't try any longer to.
I'm tired of waiting for just
a little physical compassion.
It's not been that long since I've
been intimate with a guy,maybe
six weeks. So, so much for female
relationships. Indeed we'll just be
friends.