The Day the World Stopped Turning

[ARaynes]

It was December 7, 1941. Our world was hit by the Japanese when they hit Pearl Harbor. Tears fell from my eyes as I listened to the radio telling me of the deaths that took place there. My husband, Sgt. Henry O'Neil was on the U.S.S. Arizona. Reports were that he died, for everyone died on that ship. It was the only one that sunk with all its crew inside.

I couldn't believe that I was to be a widow at twenty-five. I had yet to have a child and my dear Henry was gone. My best friend sat next to me, her arms about me holding me as I cried.

She had been with me since Henry left to go to that station. I was waiting for him to come home to me and then we would have the babies that he always wanted. It was to be two months away.

Two months and he would be coming home.

OOC: This is a thread for Merelan and myself. We may choose to open in later in time. If you would like to write in this thread, please PM Merelan or myself. Serious writers only. Please read and enjoy.

Samantha O'Neil is her name. Red hair, blue eyes. 5'4" tall, 145. Now a widow.

 

[Merelan]

Tamantha Deerston

I held her close, feeling the sobs rack her body. Rocking her as an infant. Wanting so much to soothe her, and being speechless. Only able to coo and hum. Letting the slight vibrations reach her, trying to calm her.
But how coud I? Inside I raged and screamed. Wanting to be out there killing whomever had wounded her so, even directing some of it at Henry. Why hadn't he stayed here where he belonged. Spoiling and pampering her. Hadn't he loved her? Seen she was fragile and tender. Someone to be cuddled and nurtured.
All our lives I had protected her, watched over her, even when she hadn't known I was there. But then he had waltzed in and taken her away.
I had died when she walked down that aisle, all dressed as a Queen, ready to wed him. While I stood there in my pnk froufrou dress and watched. Held her flowers, which I longed to smash into his face.
He wasn't good enough, no one ever would be. Didn't this prove it?
Running off to the service so soon after they had been wed?
What did I care if he had been dashingly handsome, intelligent, witty. With eyes that pierced through and saw your soul. Had he known?
Known how I felt? Is that why he had moved her? Not content to take her love from me. But I had followed, as always.
Lucky for her I had. In dreams I had wished him gone, but never this. Never.

"Darling love, sweet angel love." Over and over, not even knowing what I said. Just holding and rocking. Feeling her pain and wanting to heal her, wipe the tears and make her smile. Soon I would have to stop this, it wasn't healthy.

 

[ARaynes]

Samantha O'Neil

We seemed to sit there that day, for hours. I cried as she held me. In some ways I felt that it was he that held me. His arms holding me tight and whispering in my ear. Then I would feel her breast near me and realize that it was her. My faithful friend.

She was there and always would be. Since birth it seemed like we were destined to be together. And so it was that she held me here, until I feel to a deep sleep.

I awoke the next morning. My dreams were filled with him, though she kept pushing past him. In my dream I saw him, holding a rose smiling, and when he opened his mouth to speak, the words were his, but in her voice. "Don't worry darling. I am here and I still love you." It was weird, yet calming all the same.

She was sitting beside me still, though my head was in her lap. She was stroking my hair back out of my face. "I had a strange dream." I told her, looking up into her eyes. "Henry was telling me he loved me, but it was your voice, not his own that he used."

 

[Merelan]

I held her till she slept, then tucked a blanket around her, kissed her forehead and slipped out.

Henry. It was him she called for.
Sitting at the table, and laying on the couch that night, awake and listening. Him she was calling to in her dreams.
Now it was my turn as I wept. Wept for her pain, and for myself. A misfit. In love with a woman.
Though I would never tell her that. Oh she knew I loved her, but not like this. Not in this secret forbidden way. She didn't know it was her in my thoughts as I went from man to man. Trying to purge myself of her.
But it was hopeless. At least I could be her friend.
We sat on the couch the next day, after the calls we made, the people she had, had to see. Reporters chased off by me, and a bat. Filthy scavengers.
I sat and stroked her head, watching her start to doze again.
Our chat slow, and languid, th words not mattering, just being close. he was telling me of a dream.
"Henry was telling me he loved me, but it was your voice, not his own that he used."

"It was because I am here, and he had to go. He does love you. Maybe he was using me to reach you." Strokign more, pulling it away from her face. Like red flames. I had watched as she ran through the fields, as it streamed behind her. So full of life, so wild and free. unlike me.
Contained and hidden inside. Only she had looked and found me.

"Sleep Angel, I am here to watchover you. I am not going anywhere till you kick me oot, with an iron boot, and a hoot." reminding her of our silly games, to see how far we could keep a rhyme going.

 

[ARaynes]

Samantha O'Neil

"But I shoot. Well, shall not. How is that." I lifted up on the couch, scooting so I was able to still feel her body next to mine. "You have always been there. I could never kick you out of my life, for I love you. I hope you would never think that I could do that to you, you of all people."


I looked at her eyes. They seemed to be full of silent tearst aht wouldn't fall. "Why are you crying? I didn't know you seemed to like Henry so much." She couldn't keep something from me, I knew that. Perhaps she had a man that was there, but she hadn't told me yet. After all, we had traveled there not two weeks ago to visit. She could have met someone and liked him a lot and here I was feeling sorry for myself, for my own loss, not thinking of her.

 

[Merelan]

The mood lightens a little, a small twinkle in her eye. Though they are clouded and red from her tears.

"Why are you crying? I didn't know you seemed to like Henry so much." Ducking my head.

"I am in pain for you. You hurt so, and I can't do anything. Just hold you, stay here. As long as you need me." I give her a quick hug.

"We need to eat. What would you like?" Trying to hide from the look in her eyes. If I told her how I felt, she would kick me out, calling me sick and perverted.

 

[ARaynes]

Samantha O'Neil

There was something she wasn't telling me, though I didn't know how to ask what it was. She had always been my best friend and for a while I could read her like a book. Since I had married Henry though, she had become a puzzle.

"You aren't saying something. But it must be a secret you don't trust me with, so I will let it go." I walked to the kitchen. "I could make you a meatloaf. That is, if you would like it."

 

[Merelan]

She shut down, pulling away from me. She knew, she had to know.
Watching ehr as she walked away, I almost wept myself.

"Yes, that sounds good. You are a much better cook then I." Not even knowing what she had said. Something about meatloaf. Sitting I held it in, till she left. The tears starting.
It wasn't fair. She deserved to have her love. Her Henry. And now she was left alone again. But I wiped the tears away and tightened in my feelings. There was no way I could ever let her know how I felt what i dreamed of, fantasized in the darkness of my dreams.

"Is there anything I can help with?" Letting her know i was in the kitchen.

 

[ARaynes]

I turned around to her, "Yes, there is brandy in the living room. Please bring me a glass." I smiled, at her and walked to her before she left the room. "Thanks for being with me love. You are the best of any friends I could ever have. And I love you for that."

I turned back to my meatloaf, my hands sliding through the slimy greasiness of the meat. My thoughts lingered on everything. From the meat, to the death I so tragically had to outlive. To the kids I would never have. To Tamantha.

I didn't really ever ddrink, but I thought with the circumstances as they were I might just do it tonight. I needed something to make me relax.

 

[Merelan]

I took a quick shot myself, I am not a drinker. But it helped steady my hands. Then I poured her and I another and took it in.
Watching her there at the counter. God, she was so beautiful, even in her mourning. She had refused to wear pure black, and she was right. Henry would have loved her to keep living. Living.

How was she to go on now when she had lost him?

"Here Sammy." Setting it next to her, and nursing mine. It was powerful, and the one I had already had heated my tummy, and veins. Careful Tamantha or you would break down crying for her again.

"God, remember the first time you cooked for Henry? You two got so distracted it burned and you ended up at my place for the night due to the smoke." laughing at the memory. I would always remember that night. The knock on the door, and their crying laughter as they tried to explain.
The giggles in the night, the moaning I had heard when I awoke later. The crying out of her voice as he took her again and again. The frantic orgasm that had erupted as she lay there listening. The night she realized what it was she had wanted all those years.

"Hope you have gotten better." Stroking her back a little as I walk by. Getting out the salad things.

 

[ARaynes]

I laughed as she brought memories and tears to my eyes. I took the brandy and swallowed all that was in the glass at once. This was to be my way out for now.

I could remember how he wanted to make love at her house, to consumate our marriage. Yet, I didn't want to. Not at first. I didn't wnat to hurt her with her being there to hear our lovemaking. She had no one and we would only prove that to her more. Yet his body lying with mine, and his hands roaming over me made me long for him even more. Soon my lusting desires took over and my cries were that of passion.

I could remember how much she and Henry were a like in so many ways. That is why I had married him. I love him, as I loved her. He was so close to being her that I would have thought they were of the same parents, had I not known.

"You do know why I loved Henry don't you?" I confessed.

 

[Merelan]

I kept my back to her. Why was she asking?

"Sre, he was dashing and handsome, sure and confidant. Witty, wise and sexy as hell. All you had to do was ask him, he'd tell you, and then some. Oh, and he was humble." Trying to keep the conversation light.
Chopping away at the vegetables, remembering too much, feeling too much. The brandy had hit me hard, on my empty stomach.

 

[ARaynes]

I laughed. She had him pegged. "yes, that too, but there was another reason."

I put the meatloaf in the oven and went to the living room to get another drink. The brandy was affecting me a little, but yet I needed more.

Walking back into the kitchen, I started telling her the truth. "He and you are a lot alike. That is why I married him. He was the male version of you. Sounds sick huh?"

I started getting the pans out for tea and the vegitables. "Need help? He had your eyes, something that I have always longed to look lovingly into. Your hair was always the same color. Then the personality was the same to a t."

 

[Merelan]

She left as she laughed, refilling her brandy. I sipped mine slowly. Not daring to drink more.

"He and you are a lot alike. That is why I married him. He was the male version of you. Sounds sick huh?" My hands were shaking so I nicked my finger. Listening to her as I watched it bleed a bit. Not moving, barely breathing.

She moved around me as I stood there still, and silent. She couldn't know how these words hurt, stung me to the soul.
"Need help? He had your eyes, something that I have always longed to look lovingly into. Your hair was always the same color. Then the personality was the same to a t."

The blood trickled down and landed on the cutting board, leaving a red blot, and then another. I welcomed the pain as I squeezed a bit of towel around it, to distract me from her words. Moving I held it under the water, waiting for the chill to stop the bleeding. Still silent. Not knowing what to say or do.

There wasn't any way she meant the same thing I would, if I had ever dared speak the words. But oh god, how I wished it. Yet, it was a perverted love I felt for her, not like she meant. She meant friendship and loving trust. If she knew how I felt.
I squeezed harder and cried out. It hurt now.

 

[ARaynes]

I watched as she started washing her hands, or so I thought. I took the knife and started to help her cut the vegitables when I saw the blood on the cutting board. At that moment, she cried out, like it hurt.

"OH, Tammy, let me see."

I grabbed her hand softly, watching her bleed slightly. Taking her finger in my mouth, I licked the blood softly off. "You should put a bandage on that."

I went to the bathroom and grabbed some cleaner and bandages. "I must have distracted you with what I was saying. I just wanted you to know, " I stopped and finished only when I entered the kitchen. "That I loved him only because it was you I loved and could not have. I shouldn't have said it. Must be the alcohol. You could never love me in the same way, but I needed to tell you. IF you hate me I will understand."

I finished putting the bandage on her hand without saying a word. I didn't want her to hate me, and I felt so scared that she would. After all. You were supposed to love a man, not a woman.

 

[Merelan]

Without a word I let her bandage it. Still distracted, as if in a dream. her lips had burned my finger when she sucked it. I felt their softness again.
Oh God. I culd feel the arousal. Flushed and nervous.

"I must have distracted you with what I was saying. I just wanted you to know, "

She paused as she re-entered. "That I loved him only because it was you I loved and could not have. I shouldn't have said it. Must be the alcohol. You could never love me in the same way, but I needed to tell you. If you hate me I will understand."

Hate her? What was she saying. Letting it slip over and over in my mind. Had she meant it? Or was it the alcohol? Was it rebound? Watching her as she stood, like a school girl having confessed to me.
She bandaged it up, kissing the tip when she was done. I met her eyes, and she blushed. I raised the hand she had kissed. Pressing it against my cheek. Was I awake? Or was this another of my dreams. I ad to be sure she meant it.

"Well Sammy, I love you too. I always have. But, Henry was a man. I know, alot like me, everyone said so. But you don't mean..." Swallowing hard, almost shaking visibly as I took the next step. Longing for my drink.

"You don't mean you love me like that, do you?" Reaching out to push a stray curl off her face.

"Could you?"

 

[ARaynes]

"Could you?" Could I love her like I had for years? My shame was out. I had told her how I felt and she was appauled. I could hear it in my head. Her words, however innocent, were hurt.

"Couldn't I? Do you remember back in high school when William asked me to go out with him and you told me I should. I told you that I couldn't because I had confused feelings for someone else. That was you."

I turned away. It seemed moments before I could speak again. "Every night when you were next to me, sharing the bed with me as little girls do I wanted to hold you and tell you that I was off. I wasn't normal."

I turned around to her once again. "I couldn't bare the fact that you would hate me. So I never said anything."

I sat at the table, sipping from my brandy. "Then I met Henry. He was you. SO much so you could have been twins. So I married him. LOved him for he was you, only a man."

 

[Merelan]

"Could you?"


"Couldn't I? Do you remember back in high school when William asked me to go out with him and you told me I should. I told you that I couldn't because I had confused feelings for someone else. That was you." Me? She had liked me?

She turned away then, to hide her face. She hated me now, for making her love me didn't she?

"Every night when you were next to me, sharing the bed with me as little girls do I wanted to hold you and tell you that I was off. I wasn't normal." Me? When I had snuck away to her bathroom to be alone, to keep from touching her as she lay there?

"I couldn't bare the fact that you would hate me. So I never said anything."
Hate her?


She sat, sipping at her drink, as if she couldn't bear this without alcohol. "Then I met Henry. He was you. So much so you could have been twins. So I married him. Loved him for he was you, only a man."

Loved him, not me. No, married him because she loved me.

"Loved me? Married him, but loved me? Me?" Suddnely I couldn't stand anymore, and fell to my knees next to her. Reaching out, in a daze. My hand on her leg.

"Loved me? Wanted to touch me? But... me? I couldn't hate you. Didn't you know, see? All those years. I." Crying now, tears streaming down my face. Swallowing hard.

"Henry knew. He knew that I loved you, and hated me for it. I thought, maybe it was because he knew. knew you loved me. You do? Like... that?"

 

[ARaynes]

Tears came to me as I watched her fall to her knees. There was not a secret between us now. She knew I loved her.

I reached out, took her face in my hands, "Yes, like I would love a man." Kissing each tear on her cheek away, "Was I wrong to love you? To love a woman when everyone knows a woman should love a man."

I lifted away, wanting to see her reaction, "He didn't know I loved you, only him. FOr I could never, no, would never hurt him like that."

 

[Merelan]

She took my face in her hands and i stopped weeping. Her eyes shone. She meant it, she still loved me like that.

"Yes, like I would love a man." Kissing each tear away with her lips. "Was I wrong to love you? To love a woman when everyone knows a woman should love a man."
Shaking my head no, no. Unable to speak yet.
I lifted away, wanting to see her reaction, "He didn't know I loved you, only him. For I could never, no, would never hurt him like that."
Our eyes met. Sheloved me, and I no longer cared what people though. i touched her cheek.

"How can it be worng to love like this? For I have longed for you always. Never was there anyone else who could reach me, touch me. Those nights you lay there next to me, I would slip away, for fear of touching you. How could we have been so blind to each others feelings?" Strokign her cheek, watching her nuzzle my hand. Oh God.
My heart felt like it would burst.

 

[ARaynes]

I couldn't help but laugh as the tears fell from my eyes. We were both lovesick for one another, yet neither of us could see past our own anguish.

"Silly aren't we? Loving each other so blindly."

 

[Merelan]

Her laughter brought me to tears. Like bells in the woods at twilight.

"Still hungry?" Trying to lighten the mood. Not sure what or where we stood. frightened to take it further, if that was what she wanted.

 

[ARaynes]

"The MEATLOAF!" I screamed hopping up, hoping it hadn't burned. I pulled it out of the oven and realized that it was just perfect.

"Don't cry." I said, putting he meatloaf down. "Don't worry. WE have a long time to try to make up the past. I just don't know where to start." I said, smiling. Something inside me made me move forward and kiss her lips. They were soft, and caring was in her eyes. I thought that that was the best thing to do.

 

[Merelan]

I giggled as she dashed for the oven, but was silenced by the look in her eyes.

Her lips suddenly on mine. Too shy, and stunned I could only sit there.
Her scent filled me as she moved away. Gasping, my hand went to my lips, pressing the kiss in.