OK, I have a problem. I'm too damn nice. You know the type. I'm that guy that has a lot of female friends who all label as the 'nice guy'. As one could imagine this gets very frustrating because all I want to do is to bring one of them home for hours of endless sex. I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest, and if any of you ladies think you might be interested Just gimme a pm.
The curse of mr. nice guy
- Thread starter m_hall99
- Start date
I had this problem...
I had this problem myself and I'm gonna share with you the number one reason I was being looked at this way. Confidence and the body language that goes with it. I've been a nice guy pretty much all my life and gotten the same kind of treatment you mention. A while back, I started reading up a little and started altering my body language to match some of the more confident guys I know. Guess what? Night and day difference in the way you get treated by women my friend. I would have thought it crazy that something so simple could alter this so dramatically, but it's true. Carrying yourself like you BELONG and believing it. That thought that pops into your head when you see a gorgeous woman that you are out of her league...totally alters your body language so she won't look at you. The thoughts in your head about how you don't want to come on too strong...totally alters your body language. I'm not saying this will get you any woman you want, but I am saying it will stop taking you out of the game before the national anthem is over.
When you meet a woman, be confident, don't overthink what she's thinking about you. If you doubt what I'm saying, watch other guys that you know who are "nice" like you are. Pay attention to their body language. Then, find that ugly ass friend of yours that's got a hot girlfriend and watch him around her. Watch the way he carries himself. There's a difference.
I'm telling you, change the way you carry yourself. Even if you don't have the confidence right away and it'll feel funny when you first start doing it, believe me, not just women, but people in general will start treating you differently. And once that happens, you'll start gaining the confidence because you see it's working.
One of the biggest things when you have this problem is, even if you flat out ask your female friends why they don't think of you "that way", they won't be able to put their finger on it because it's so subtle. "I don't know, you're just my friend, I don't think of you in any other way". Right? It's even more frustrating to hear that because you have no idea what to do differently. More frustration, less confidence, more thoughts that it's just gonna happen again, and it does. Over and over.
You cannot keep doing the same things over and over and expect different results. I did that for so long and I was so frustrated trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Why I kept winding up being the friend. I truly believe that I was sending out signals with my body language that that's all I ever believed I would be. Self fulfilling prophecy may sound like garbage, but there's something to it. Try it out man. Nothing to lose and I would almost bet my life on the fact that if you do it, you'll start seeing more success.
From the picture, you're a good looking guy. But, even though you're smiling, your head is down, shoulders down and your overall body language in that picture is tentative and not confident.
I had this problem myself and I'm gonna share with you the number one reason I was being looked at this way. Confidence and the body language that goes with it. I've been a nice guy pretty much all my life and gotten the same kind of treatment you mention. A while back, I started reading up a little and started altering my body language to match some of the more confident guys I know. Guess what? Night and day difference in the way you get treated by women my friend. I would have thought it crazy that something so simple could alter this so dramatically, but it's true. Carrying yourself like you BELONG and believing it. That thought that pops into your head when you see a gorgeous woman that you are out of her league...totally alters your body language so she won't look at you. The thoughts in your head about how you don't want to come on too strong...totally alters your body language. I'm not saying this will get you any woman you want, but I am saying it will stop taking you out of the game before the national anthem is over.
When you meet a woman, be confident, don't overthink what she's thinking about you. If you doubt what I'm saying, watch other guys that you know who are "nice" like you are. Pay attention to their body language. Then, find that ugly ass friend of yours that's got a hot girlfriend and watch him around her. Watch the way he carries himself. There's a difference.
I'm telling you, change the way you carry yourself. Even if you don't have the confidence right away and it'll feel funny when you first start doing it, believe me, not just women, but people in general will start treating you differently. And once that happens, you'll start gaining the confidence because you see it's working.
One of the biggest things when you have this problem is, even if you flat out ask your female friends why they don't think of you "that way", they won't be able to put their finger on it because it's so subtle. "I don't know, you're just my friend, I don't think of you in any other way". Right? It's even more frustrating to hear that because you have no idea what to do differently. More frustration, less confidence, more thoughts that it's just gonna happen again, and it does. Over and over.
You cannot keep doing the same things over and over and expect different results. I did that for so long and I was so frustrated trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Why I kept winding up being the friend. I truly believe that I was sending out signals with my body language that that's all I ever believed I would be. Self fulfilling prophecy may sound like garbage, but there's something to it. Try it out man. Nothing to lose and I would almost bet my life on the fact that if you do it, you'll start seeing more success.
From the picture, you're a good looking guy. But, even though you're smiling, your head is down, shoulders down and your overall body language in that picture is tentative and not confident.
Last edited:
curious26TX
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2003
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- 625
Re: I had this problem...
here's what i do.. if i find a woman that i like i naturally pay attention to her and tend to drift towards her any time i'm around her.. however.. if you are the "nice guy" and are stuck in the "friends zone" you've got to make her jealous and make yourself a challenge for her.. question: how many woman do you know go after the guy that will wait on them hand and foot? i don't know of any.. i mean really would you want a woman who was your slave? i know i wouldn't want one.. i want one who is independant, out going, fun to be around, and has different opinions than myself so we can have good conversations... so if you are too nice and wait on them hand and foot.. get over it cause 2 things will happen.. 1... they will never be interested in you.. and 2... they will run all over you.. what i say to that is SCREW THAT!.. i don't want to be used do you?
so if you find yourself hanging out with a woman you like all the time (which is a good thing) and you are the "nice guy" and/or stuck in the "friends zone" here's what i do.. if they call me to do something all the time i would maybe do something with them say half the time.. even if i didn't have anything to do i wouldn't go out with them.. instead i would tell them that i made other plans with another girl.. also when you do hang out with them make sure you are paying attention to them but have your eyes wonder around to other women and make sure she notices.. this will tell her that you aren't really interested in her and for good reason.. she isn't interested in you in that way so why in the world would you NOT look around at other women when you are out and about with her? but you keep hanging out with her just not all the time..
there are a few things you are trying to do.. make her realize that she's not the only woman in your life by doing other things with women even if you aren't
always try to do group things with her where other women you know will be around and talk to those other women when she's with you to show her that you are desirable by other women...
when you are hanging out with her make sure you look at other women and maybe even hit on a few with her around to let her know that since she's not interested in you for a relationship neither are you with her...
and the last thing is this takes a TON of time.. but in the end it's well worth it! it's worked for me several times.. i keep the nice guy tag too.. cause when she gets mad (and she will) because you are not paying enough attention to her.. just politely inform her that you two aren't dating and that you thought you were just friends.. and if she wants more then she's going to have to come and get it.. heh...
i have found in my experience women love this crap.. and they know you are a nice guy so they know you will treat them well.. it gives them a challenge to come after you (but you are using tatics to go after them making them think they are going after you)... the only hard part is knowing when you've got them and when to make the move on them.. cause even though it's totally hot for them to jump your bones most women do not have the confidence to do that.. and most women i have found love it when the guy takes control and makes the move.. which goes back to InTheNow's point..
through all of this you have got to keep your confidence up and even though no guy is you have got to think that you are god gift to women b/c the last thing you want to do is look like a dork.. push your shoulders back, keep your back straight, smile a TON, and be friendly and talkitive to anyone that comes around you.. women noticed this stuff and react to it... and just keep plug'n away at more than one woman that you are "friends" with and see who bites first and go after her
hope this helps
all of what InTheNow said is so true.. but you have got to also do a few other things... i am also tagged with the "nice guy" syndrom.. however i have found i can keep that tag (cause all women say they want a nice guy but go for the jerks anyway) but still get the women.. thing is you have got to have a lot of time on your hands and as unfortunate as it is you have got to play the game..InTheNow said:
here's what i do.. if i find a woman that i like i naturally pay attention to her and tend to drift towards her any time i'm around her.. however.. if you are the "nice guy" and are stuck in the "friends zone" you've got to make her jealous and make yourself a challenge for her.. question: how many woman do you know go after the guy that will wait on them hand and foot? i don't know of any.. i mean really would you want a woman who was your slave? i know i wouldn't want one.. i want one who is independant, out going, fun to be around, and has different opinions than myself so we can have good conversations... so if you are too nice and wait on them hand and foot.. get over it cause 2 things will happen.. 1... they will never be interested in you.. and 2... they will run all over you.. what i say to that is SCREW THAT!.. i don't want to be used do you?
so if you find yourself hanging out with a woman you like all the time (which is a good thing) and you are the "nice guy" and/or stuck in the "friends zone" here's what i do.. if they call me to do something all the time i would maybe do something with them say half the time.. even if i didn't have anything to do i wouldn't go out with them.. instead i would tell them that i made other plans with another girl.. also when you do hang out with them make sure you are paying attention to them but have your eyes wonder around to other women and make sure she notices.. this will tell her that you aren't really interested in her and for good reason.. she isn't interested in you in that way so why in the world would you NOT look around at other women when you are out and about with her? but you keep hanging out with her just not all the time..
there are a few things you are trying to do.. make her realize that she's not the only woman in your life by doing other things with women even if you aren't
always try to do group things with her where other women you know will be around and talk to those other women when she's with you to show her that you are desirable by other women...
when you are hanging out with her make sure you look at other women and maybe even hit on a few with her around to let her know that since she's not interested in you for a relationship neither are you with her...
and the last thing is this takes a TON of time.. but in the end it's well worth it! it's worked for me several times.. i keep the nice guy tag too.. cause when she gets mad (and she will) because you are not paying enough attention to her.. just politely inform her that you two aren't dating and that you thought you were just friends.. and if she wants more then she's going to have to come and get it.. heh...
i have found in my experience women love this crap.. and they know you are a nice guy so they know you will treat them well.. it gives them a challenge to come after you (but you are using tatics to go after them making them think they are going after you)... the only hard part is knowing when you've got them and when to make the move on them.. cause even though it's totally hot for them to jump your bones most women do not have the confidence to do that.. and most women i have found love it when the guy takes control and makes the move.. which goes back to InTheNow's point..
through all of this you have got to keep your confidence up and even though no guy is you have got to think that you are god gift to women b/c the last thing you want to do is look like a dork.. push your shoulders back, keep your back straight, smile a TON, and be friendly and talkitive to anyone that comes around you.. women noticed this stuff and react to it... and just keep plug'n away at more than one woman that you are "friends" with and see who bites first and go after her
hope this helps
Last edited:
curious26TX
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2003
- Posts
- 625
Re: I had this problem...
.
.
Last edited:
curious26TX
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2003
- Posts
- 625
Re: I had this problem...
stupid computer reposting this over and over.. lol
stupid computer reposting this over and over.. lol
Last edited:
Confidence is everything.
m_hall99,
Read thru the following thread for insight on how women respond to confident men. Its not about what you look like, its about how you carry yourself. Hope it helps.
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=242444
Hook
m_hall99,
Read thru the following thread for insight on how women respond to confident men. Its not about what you look like, its about how you carry yourself. Hope it helps.
https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=242444
Hook
done_got_old
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2003
- Posts
- 269,162
Re: I had this problem...
Good observation.......great advice.
InTheNow said:
Good observation.......great advice.
