The Comedy Club

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Ok despite the fact that i'm small and insignificant in the grand Literotica scheme of things, I had another potentially embarassing brainstorm and decided to act on it.

So what I thought of is since everyone's having a few laughs, why not try a bit of stand up? Anyone can perform, anyone can heckle ;op

So I declare the Comedy Club open! Whether I get any customers or not will be a different matter altogether...


And to put myself in the firing line:

"I remember when I was young, I used to live in a pretty nice area. The problem was it was surrounded by hellholes in all directions. You know you're in trouble when you play 'count the bulletholes' with your friends after school. Getting numbers beyond two was a major achievement for them. 1+1 was something that happened to other people. I mean, some of these guys couldn't afford to buy a better house but could afford guns and cars? Seems pretty twisted logic to me. Some people couldn't tell you what a odd number was, but if you asked them about number 25 down the road they'd provide you with names, numbers and full blueprints for the 'discerning thieves' among us.

But I guess in a way it makes sense. Like, why buy a playstation when you can have the real thing? Some of these guys used to play Virtua Cop with real people! Of should it be Virtua Robber? Gran Turismo was an everyday occurence in my street, and eventually the council got fed up with the walls being demolished every week and just gave up. Don't blame them really.

Then there was the whole school thing. Some of my friends couldn't believe that I actually went to school! They were always getting on at me, as if school was some sort of mythical Valhalla where you get to meet girls who haven't been through three prams and a ton of social security by the time they're 12. But I didn't get respect. I went home with a degree and they were like, "that's nice.". An acquaintance comes back from the police station with a new bar code and they're like 'Damn! I gotta get me one of those!'"

 

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Joke of the day:


One evening, two friends were in a bar arguing over which of them could have sex the most times in one night. They decided to settle the issue by going to the local whorehouse for the evening. So they got to the whorehouse, paired off with a couple of the ladies, and went to their respective rooms.
The first guy energetically balled his whore and, reaching up with a pencil, marked a line on the wall. Then he fell asleep. He woke up in a couple of hours and screwed the whore again, albeit a little less enthusiastically. Again, he reached back and marked a line on the wall. Again, he fell asleep. He woke up again in a couple of hours and lethargically humped the hooker again. He drowsily marked a third line on the wall and fell asleep for the rest of the night.

The next morning, his friend barged into the room to see how he did. He took one look at the wall and exclaimed, "A hundred and eleven? Damn! You beat me by three!"