The Coffee shop

[mrlargo]

I just posted my first story and would like some feedback. Has anyone read it yet.

 

[rjordan]

A link to the story in your post is going to make comments here a lot more likely.

RJ

 

[rjordan]

My, my..."The monster came so much that it gushed out of her like someone had jumped on a sponge full of thick reddish yellow cottage cheese."

Maybe it would have reached a wider audience in Erotic Horror instead of Anal. You might consider having it changed.

RJ

 

[PacoFear]

Whoa. I mean, just... whoa.

She immediately vomited onto her chest reducing her floral spring blouse into a steaming mess of her lunch of basmati rice and chili con carne. The creatures tongue snaked its way up her stomach and started licking up the vomited lunch. Once again the creature laughed a sinister laugh. As it finished the last of the regurgitated lunch the forked tongue...

That's just sick and wrong. C'mon, who the hell mixes basmati rice with chili con carne? Oh yeah, the vomiting/eating thing was kinda gross too.

Rjordan is right, this needs to be scooted over into erotic horror.

Mrlargo, you're a sick little monkey and I look forward to your inevitable trial proceedings.

-PF

 

[rjordan]

"C'mon, who the hell mixes basmati rice with chili con carne?"

 

[mrlargo]

Thanks for the tip.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

rjordan, why not give us lazy tykes a steer?


http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=461923

 

[elfin_odalisque]

"C'mon, who the hell mixes basmati rice with chili con carne?"

Can't handle the vomiting thing, but who doesn't mix their chili with a forkful of basmati?

 

[hotken51]

Feedback on My Story in Sex Role Play

I just started a story with Sinful_Whisper in Sex role play called the Blindfold and the Whip Sorrority. Would appreciate your feedback. All i know is that Sinful_Whisper is damn good writer. I feel very fortunate to be working with her on this story.I consider myself a good writer but always appreciate honest feedback.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Sin is great.

Either post it here in a new thread or start a new thread and give us a link to a syory.

 

[rjordan]

Actually, it was Paco that questioned the practice of mixing Basmati with chile con carne. My post makes it look like I did. I'm vegan so it's the "carne" part that would have me vomiting, though not as graphically as MrLargo was able to describe. Well enough, though. That "...sponge full of thick reddish yellow cottage cheese" image seems to have "gone viral" in my head and I can't purge it.

RJ

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Actually, it was Paco that questioned the practice of mixing Basmati with chile con carne. My post makes it look like I did. I'm vegan so it's the "carne" part that would have me vomiting, though not as graphically as MrLargo was able to describe. Well enough, though. That "...sponge full of thick reddish yellow cottage cheese" image seems to have "gone viral" in my head and I can't purge it.

RJ

Giggling into my spinach cannelloni.

 

[PacoFear]

Can't handle the vomiting thing, but who doesn't mix their chili with a forkful of basmati?

Me. I'm a Carolina rice guy. Maybe it's a geographical thing? I'm in the northeast of the US.

Still, I googled the chili/basmati combo and... okay... it's pretty popular. I'll call this one of those "learn something new everyday" things. See? I got something good out of that weird-ass story.

-PF

 

[rjordan]

The only rice I eat is California Brown Basmati--sometimes even for breakfast with honey and cinnamon. [Talk about hijacking a thread!]

 

[auslit]

Is there that much of a difference between california rice and rice from everywhere else?

 

[PacoFear]

Is there that much of a difference between california rice and rice from everywhere else?

I don't think I could distinguish california from carolina rice in a blind tasting. Basmati stands out for me though, much nuttier.

And this is whole discussion is one of the things I enjoy about this site. Poor mrlargo's demon-rape coffee house story has evolved into a debate on the relative merits of certain grains.

Sorry we hijacked your thread, mrlargo. It's been awfully fun tho'.

-PF

 

[rjordan]

California has exported to Asia for decades so that might say something...or not.

Brown basmati though is different. The people in most countries that grow basmati equate white rice with quality. This coming from a friend in Pakistan who is an agriculture PhD. They won't eat brown rice there, though it is healthier for you. You can't buy brown basmati rice in Pakistan and they don't export the brown. My friend tried to get them to export it and they wouldn't bother. So California is essentially the only place you can get brown basmati.

RJ