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Umm.. OK!
The Challenge Club
- Thread starter Dingus Guy
- Start date
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DG, your pm box is full.....
Since I couldn't reply to your last pm.... night to you and have pleasant dreams yourself!
CM
Since I couldn't reply to your last pm.... night to you and have pleasant dreams yourself!
CM
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Well, my last two challenge stories have now been posted to the Non-Erotic and the Humor and Satire categories.
Dingus Guy
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2003
- Posts
- 718
Well here it is folks!
I have submitted it as well because it's 2444 words. I hope you like it.
Cumedy Show
By
Dingus Guy
“Now appearing for his 6th time here at the Comedy Palace, Long Island’s own funny fool, and my good friend, Henry Looper, The Loop!” Morgan Everlee waved his arms dramatically behind him at the curtain as ‘The Loop’ made his way onto the stage with his usual bag of props. Morgan punched fist against fist with the funny man and exited the stage from where Henry Looper had entered. The crowd responding kindly to the comic and ‘The Loop’ bowed like a Shakespearian actor.
“Yo, yo, yo…how’s my homies? 117 representing in da his house! Ok, settle down people, I am done carrying on like my black brothers. How many of the brothers in here?” ‘The Loop’ held his hands up like a visor across his eyes and scanned the crowd. “Ya, I see ya, you guys know I am joking? I am just a stupid white guy trying to make a living.” Few laughs and chuckles through the audience. “Sometimes, as a comedian I run out of material or I forget something, so I will curse or make fun of minorities to get a cheap laugh. Hey, this is the benefit of working the late show, you guys are drunk enough by now that it doesn’t matter what shit I say, you will laugh at it.” More laughs. He pointed at the crowd and smiled.
“That is why I love Long Island, New York so much. They will drink like fish and laugh at anything because after a week of work, it’s got to get better, am I right?” There was a smattering of applause. “Now don’t get me wrong, I too was employed not too long ago at a convenience store. I know fairly well what it takes to survive the day. A pack or two of cigarettes, an attitude to handle the child who tries to five-finger discount a chocolate bar and a smile for the grandmother who needs to find a hatpin. I love old people. What do you get when you cross an eighty year old man with viagra?” The Loop paused for a brief second, and continued, “You get a grandfather cock! Woohoo!!!” Groans. “You know Grandfather Clock, viagra, cock, grandfather cock, come on people, this is quality stuff.” The crowd laughed at The Loop’s begging.
“I guess you want some of my A-material?” The crowd hollered their approval in response to his question. “Well you better start drinking more. It doesn’t get any better than this. A doctor asks an old man for a urine sample, a feces sample and a blood sample. He doesn’t hear so he asks the doctor to repeat it. The doctor asks again for a urine sample, a feces sample and a blood sample. He looks to his wife for help and she tells him the doctor wants to have his underwear.” The crowd moaned but there were some scattered laughs including ‘The Loop’ who giggled at himself.
“Hey I love old people, don’t get me wrong, they just can’t fight back. Easy targets people, easy targets. What am I going to do acted my mother-in-law? That is too easy of a target. Hey do you know that if you descramble the word mother-in-law you get the words, woman Hitler?” More moans, groans and chuckles emanated from the crowd. ‘The Loop’ rolled on, “So I guess we return to the old people, eh? I see where the demand is; I am not stupid. Okay then, how do you get four old ladies to say, ‘Fuck’? You just have the fifth one say, ‘Bingo.’ Woohoo!”
“Ok, ok settle down people, settle down. I see I might be offending some of the blue hairs in the audience, so let’s see if we can pick on some other people. No really, I am not about cheap jokes, I am a lot more. I see we have a few beautiful women in the front row tables. They always want to get as close as they can. They want to know if the rumor is true. They see a Jew and want to know if their cock is as small as a thimble. Actually it’s true. When I am hard my schlong looks like a clitoris, but an aroused clitoris I must say. I see by the reaction by some of my words, that I could use more tasteful slang’s for male gentalia. Actually I do use other words for my little stump. The ladies think it’s cute when I call it my stuffed mouse. It is stuffed with filling and likes dark little holes, so I think that one is appropriate. Another one I often use is my pimple of pleasure. Yeah, erotic isn’t it? I know, I know, you wish you thought of it first. Hey, the more you play with it, the harder it gets and sooner or later white stuff will puss out the top. Sexy ladies, sex-eee!”
‘The Loop’ continued to receive a nice mix of laughs and grunts. It was a good show. When he finally left the stage, the crowd was on their feet for a standing applause. He ran right to the bathroom backstage, but it was occupied so he made his way around and used the men’s room the audience was using. When you got to go, you got to go, he thought. He made small talk with a few of the guys on the way to the stall.
“You know guys,” he mused, “thank God we got a contraceptive machine in here. I don’t think I have time to stop off at the quickie mart to purchase me a glow-in-the-dark condom of such high quality as we can get here. Hey, it is a comedy club remember these might be practical joke condoms, and after nine months the joke will be on you.”
After he finished his new routine in the bathroom, he ran into a rather sweet looking red head with sparkling green eyes. She had a lace-trimmed flower patterned scoop blouse, which was a bit on the grandmotherly side. Her blue jean skirt certainly made up for her poor choice of tops, ‘The Loop’ thought. Her legs were encased in charcoal colored stockings, which glistened even in the shadows of the club. She was quite an interesting looking lady, probably in her mid 20’s. She was pretty tall and wide shouldered. She certainly knew how to make herself look pretty with her makeup. Her lips were glossed in pink and her eyes were accentuated by green eye shadow. He smiled at her and she introduced herself.
“Hi my name is Arlene,” she stated, “I loved your show.”
“Well,” The Loop replied, “it is always nice to meet one of my admirers, especially one as charming as yourself.” He smiled and bowed as he did when he first took the stage.
“Thanks,” she smiled.
“It is my pleasure dear lady,” he mentioned.
“A few of my friends are going over to McCloskey’s for a few drinks, would you like to come?” She smiled gently at him, sending the message that she was more than interested in a few drinks.
“Well that certainly seems like an interesting thought.”
“Interesting enough to meet us there?” Arlene asked. She tilted her head in a sexy come hither motion. The Loop could not resist such a puppy dog look.
“I will be over there as soon as I can break free,” The Loop replied. Arlene once again showed her pearly whites, turned and rejoined her on looking friends. He turned around and walked back behind the stage area to gathering his belongings and wash up a little.
After some drinks, and a pleasant conversation with Arlene and her friends, The Loop felt a hand linger on his butt. He made sure it was Arlene before winking his approval at her, and doing the same with her ass. He sensed that her friends were amused by the ongoing game between the two of them. After more lively chatter, she whispered into his ear and made it clear that she needed a ride home. They said their goodbyes and amidst some more childish giggling from her friends, they left McCloskey’s.
To the Loop, Arlene seemed to be very much into him. He had on a few occasions on the road met someone that was way into him and had some heated sex. He never thought of himself as the greatest looking guy in the world, but he did all right for himself. Arlene was one of those people that seemed to like to initiate the action. That was okay with The Loop, he certainly could go with the flow. Upon arriving at her condo, she pulled him inside and led him right to her bedroom. Grabbing him by the shoulders she kissed him roughly on the lips. Arlene thrust her tongue down his throat and looked into his eyes as they kissed. She pushed him down on her queen-sized bed and told him to undress for her while she goes to put on something more comfortable. She quickly exited through a side door in the corner. Not much into the foreplay, The Loop thought.
“How is it going in there?” The Loop asked, while lying in just his boxers on top of her lavender satin sheets. He was pretty fit for his age of 33, and didn’t embarrass in the least in this type of setting. Arlene was taking her sweet time in the other room, which was probably either the bathroom or walk in closet. Without saying a word, she walked out decked in a one-piece black vinyl and metal studded bondage outfit. It was quite form fitting on top showing her shoulders and it finished off with a skirt. Her legs wore the same sheer dark hose.
“How do you like me now Loop?” Arlene inquired. She swung a silver rope at her side.
“Whoa, The Loop never did anything this kinky. You are indeed a surprise Arlene.”
“A pleasant one I hope,” she stated matter-of-factly. She walked around to the end of the bed and snapped the rope in her hands.
“Uh, what you planning with the rope?”
“I think you know,” she teased him tracing the rope on his bare leg.
“This is new to me, will you be guiding a tour of your antics or do I just guess?” The Loop questioned with a huge grin on his face.
Her answer came in the way of a leg dug. She quickly gripped his right foot and looped the rope over it and secured it under the corner of the bed.
“Well,” The Loop said, “you don’t mess around do you?” She held up one finger to her lips to indicate quiet time for the funny man. He signed the zipper across his lips and watched her tie up his left foot to the other corner, spreading his legs apart and forcing him to fall back unto the bed. From her back she suddenly produced a third rope, this one black. Arlene climbed the bed lying on top of him, mouse to mouse hole. She leaned over him and kissed him hard as she fastened the rope around his hands and the headboard. She was not gentle in anyway, the kiss nor the rope tying.
“Nice spread you got here,” The Loop mused.
“I love funny men,” she answered without even the smallest trace of the smile she so easily displayed earlier. She was all business now. “I love to see funny men perform on my stage.”
“I would love to perform on your stage,” He offered smartly.
She placed her hand in his boxer’s fly hole and started to massage his cock and balls. The Loop groaned deeply in response to the manhandling. She worked it so it got nice and hard and then she twisted her body on top of him so she could place her mouth on him there. She licked his cock softly then drove her mouth down his shaft.
She stopped to ask, “So, how is the stuffed mouse now? Doesn’t appear to be too shy.”
“Stuffed mouse is very happy,” he replied breathlessly.
The tongue flicked along the mouse head and she scrapped her teeth a little. This caused him to buck and protest a little.
“Gentle there, the mouse is delicate,” The Loop protested.
“Looks like the comic needs his microphone turned off,” Arlene suggested. She got up and left the room and shoved a ball gag in his mouth and snapped it shut around his head. His eyes looked out in alarm, and tried to say a quick joke but he was caught off quickly.
“There you go,” Arlene exclaimed. “Now let me see how my toy is doing.” She ripped at his boxers until they tore from his body. The Loop looked shocked at her display of control. Her mouth licked and sucked at his balls, nibbling his thighs now and then, all the while stroking his cock. He felt the verge of cumming when she suddenly pulled at his balls roughly making him groan. She sneered at him menacingly and got up off the bed. She stood by his left and he turned to see her unzip the top. Her breasts sprang free it their naturalness. They looked full and did not sag. They didn’t look real, but they didn’t look bad in anyway. She lifted them up and squeezed them together. She leaned over and pushed them into his face.
Arlene took another step back, turned around and slid her skirt down. A small shapely vinyl thronged ass wiggled at The Loop. She did a little dance with her ass facing him, moving her arms and legs to unheard music that played just for her. With her back still facing him, she reached for the thong and slid it down and spun to him all in one motion. His eyes nearly popped out of his head. He started to make gurgling noise from under the gag.
“Oh do you want me to remove the gag?” Arlene giggled.
The Loop’s protests continued louder. His body started to pull at the binds in an effort to escape. He tried to shift his body away, but he was stuck in place. Arlene just laughed at his reaction. She climbed back on top of him and she aligned herself at her apex with his face. He turned and she held him still, so he was staring right at her cock. It was just mere inches away from his face.
“Not so funny now, is it?” Arlene exclaimed.
I have submitted it as well because it's 2444 words. I hope you like it.
Cumedy Show
By
Dingus Guy
“Now appearing for his 6th time here at the Comedy Palace, Long Island’s own funny fool, and my good friend, Henry Looper, The Loop!” Morgan Everlee waved his arms dramatically behind him at the curtain as ‘The Loop’ made his way onto the stage with his usual bag of props. Morgan punched fist against fist with the funny man and exited the stage from where Henry Looper had entered. The crowd responding kindly to the comic and ‘The Loop’ bowed like a Shakespearian actor.
“Yo, yo, yo…how’s my homies? 117 representing in da his house! Ok, settle down people, I am done carrying on like my black brothers. How many of the brothers in here?” ‘The Loop’ held his hands up like a visor across his eyes and scanned the crowd. “Ya, I see ya, you guys know I am joking? I am just a stupid white guy trying to make a living.” Few laughs and chuckles through the audience. “Sometimes, as a comedian I run out of material or I forget something, so I will curse or make fun of minorities to get a cheap laugh. Hey, this is the benefit of working the late show, you guys are drunk enough by now that it doesn’t matter what shit I say, you will laugh at it.” More laughs. He pointed at the crowd and smiled.
“That is why I love Long Island, New York so much. They will drink like fish and laugh at anything because after a week of work, it’s got to get better, am I right?” There was a smattering of applause. “Now don’t get me wrong, I too was employed not too long ago at a convenience store. I know fairly well what it takes to survive the day. A pack or two of cigarettes, an attitude to handle the child who tries to five-finger discount a chocolate bar and a smile for the grandmother who needs to find a hatpin. I love old people. What do you get when you cross an eighty year old man with viagra?” The Loop paused for a brief second, and continued, “You get a grandfather cock! Woohoo!!!” Groans. “You know Grandfather Clock, viagra, cock, grandfather cock, come on people, this is quality stuff.” The crowd laughed at The Loop’s begging.
“I guess you want some of my A-material?” The crowd hollered their approval in response to his question. “Well you better start drinking more. It doesn’t get any better than this. A doctor asks an old man for a urine sample, a feces sample and a blood sample. He doesn’t hear so he asks the doctor to repeat it. The doctor asks again for a urine sample, a feces sample and a blood sample. He looks to his wife for help and she tells him the doctor wants to have his underwear.” The crowd moaned but there were some scattered laughs including ‘The Loop’ who giggled at himself.
“Hey I love old people, don’t get me wrong, they just can’t fight back. Easy targets people, easy targets. What am I going to do acted my mother-in-law? That is too easy of a target. Hey do you know that if you descramble the word mother-in-law you get the words, woman Hitler?” More moans, groans and chuckles emanated from the crowd. ‘The Loop’ rolled on, “So I guess we return to the old people, eh? I see where the demand is; I am not stupid. Okay then, how do you get four old ladies to say, ‘Fuck’? You just have the fifth one say, ‘Bingo.’ Woohoo!”
“Ok, ok settle down people, settle down. I see I might be offending some of the blue hairs in the audience, so let’s see if we can pick on some other people. No really, I am not about cheap jokes, I am a lot more. I see we have a few beautiful women in the front row tables. They always want to get as close as they can. They want to know if the rumor is true. They see a Jew and want to know if their cock is as small as a thimble. Actually it’s true. When I am hard my schlong looks like a clitoris, but an aroused clitoris I must say. I see by the reaction by some of my words, that I could use more tasteful slang’s for male gentalia. Actually I do use other words for my little stump. The ladies think it’s cute when I call it my stuffed mouse. It is stuffed with filling and likes dark little holes, so I think that one is appropriate. Another one I often use is my pimple of pleasure. Yeah, erotic isn’t it? I know, I know, you wish you thought of it first. Hey, the more you play with it, the harder it gets and sooner or later white stuff will puss out the top. Sexy ladies, sex-eee!”
‘The Loop’ continued to receive a nice mix of laughs and grunts. It was a good show. When he finally left the stage, the crowd was on their feet for a standing applause. He ran right to the bathroom backstage, but it was occupied so he made his way around and used the men’s room the audience was using. When you got to go, you got to go, he thought. He made small talk with a few of the guys on the way to the stall.
“You know guys,” he mused, “thank God we got a contraceptive machine in here. I don’t think I have time to stop off at the quickie mart to purchase me a glow-in-the-dark condom of such high quality as we can get here. Hey, it is a comedy club remember these might be practical joke condoms, and after nine months the joke will be on you.”
After he finished his new routine in the bathroom, he ran into a rather sweet looking red head with sparkling green eyes. She had a lace-trimmed flower patterned scoop blouse, which was a bit on the grandmotherly side. Her blue jean skirt certainly made up for her poor choice of tops, ‘The Loop’ thought. Her legs were encased in charcoal colored stockings, which glistened even in the shadows of the club. She was quite an interesting looking lady, probably in her mid 20’s. She was pretty tall and wide shouldered. She certainly knew how to make herself look pretty with her makeup. Her lips were glossed in pink and her eyes were accentuated by green eye shadow. He smiled at her and she introduced herself.
“Hi my name is Arlene,” she stated, “I loved your show.”
“Well,” The Loop replied, “it is always nice to meet one of my admirers, especially one as charming as yourself.” He smiled and bowed as he did when he first took the stage.
“Thanks,” she smiled.
“It is my pleasure dear lady,” he mentioned.
“A few of my friends are going over to McCloskey’s for a few drinks, would you like to come?” She smiled gently at him, sending the message that she was more than interested in a few drinks.
“Well that certainly seems like an interesting thought.”
“Interesting enough to meet us there?” Arlene asked. She tilted her head in a sexy come hither motion. The Loop could not resist such a puppy dog look.
“I will be over there as soon as I can break free,” The Loop replied. Arlene once again showed her pearly whites, turned and rejoined her on looking friends. He turned around and walked back behind the stage area to gathering his belongings and wash up a little.
After some drinks, and a pleasant conversation with Arlene and her friends, The Loop felt a hand linger on his butt. He made sure it was Arlene before winking his approval at her, and doing the same with her ass. He sensed that her friends were amused by the ongoing game between the two of them. After more lively chatter, she whispered into his ear and made it clear that she needed a ride home. They said their goodbyes and amidst some more childish giggling from her friends, they left McCloskey’s.
To the Loop, Arlene seemed to be very much into him. He had on a few occasions on the road met someone that was way into him and had some heated sex. He never thought of himself as the greatest looking guy in the world, but he did all right for himself. Arlene was one of those people that seemed to like to initiate the action. That was okay with The Loop, he certainly could go with the flow. Upon arriving at her condo, she pulled him inside and led him right to her bedroom. Grabbing him by the shoulders she kissed him roughly on the lips. Arlene thrust her tongue down his throat and looked into his eyes as they kissed. She pushed him down on her queen-sized bed and told him to undress for her while she goes to put on something more comfortable. She quickly exited through a side door in the corner. Not much into the foreplay, The Loop thought.
“How is it going in there?” The Loop asked, while lying in just his boxers on top of her lavender satin sheets. He was pretty fit for his age of 33, and didn’t embarrass in the least in this type of setting. Arlene was taking her sweet time in the other room, which was probably either the bathroom or walk in closet. Without saying a word, she walked out decked in a one-piece black vinyl and metal studded bondage outfit. It was quite form fitting on top showing her shoulders and it finished off with a skirt. Her legs wore the same sheer dark hose.
“How do you like me now Loop?” Arlene inquired. She swung a silver rope at her side.
“Whoa, The Loop never did anything this kinky. You are indeed a surprise Arlene.”
“A pleasant one I hope,” she stated matter-of-factly. She walked around to the end of the bed and snapped the rope in her hands.
“Uh, what you planning with the rope?”
“I think you know,” she teased him tracing the rope on his bare leg.
“This is new to me, will you be guiding a tour of your antics or do I just guess?” The Loop questioned with a huge grin on his face.
Her answer came in the way of a leg dug. She quickly gripped his right foot and looped the rope over it and secured it under the corner of the bed.
“Well,” The Loop said, “you don’t mess around do you?” She held up one finger to her lips to indicate quiet time for the funny man. He signed the zipper across his lips and watched her tie up his left foot to the other corner, spreading his legs apart and forcing him to fall back unto the bed. From her back she suddenly produced a third rope, this one black. Arlene climbed the bed lying on top of him, mouse to mouse hole. She leaned over him and kissed him hard as she fastened the rope around his hands and the headboard. She was not gentle in anyway, the kiss nor the rope tying.
“Nice spread you got here,” The Loop mused.
“I love funny men,” she answered without even the smallest trace of the smile she so easily displayed earlier. She was all business now. “I love to see funny men perform on my stage.”
“I would love to perform on your stage,” He offered smartly.
She placed her hand in his boxer’s fly hole and started to massage his cock and balls. The Loop groaned deeply in response to the manhandling. She worked it so it got nice and hard and then she twisted her body on top of him so she could place her mouth on him there. She licked his cock softly then drove her mouth down his shaft.
She stopped to ask, “So, how is the stuffed mouse now? Doesn’t appear to be too shy.”
“Stuffed mouse is very happy,” he replied breathlessly.
The tongue flicked along the mouse head and she scrapped her teeth a little. This caused him to buck and protest a little.
“Gentle there, the mouse is delicate,” The Loop protested.
“Looks like the comic needs his microphone turned off,” Arlene suggested. She got up and left the room and shoved a ball gag in his mouth and snapped it shut around his head. His eyes looked out in alarm, and tried to say a quick joke but he was caught off quickly.
“There you go,” Arlene exclaimed. “Now let me see how my toy is doing.” She ripped at his boxers until they tore from his body. The Loop looked shocked at her display of control. Her mouth licked and sucked at his balls, nibbling his thighs now and then, all the while stroking his cock. He felt the verge of cumming when she suddenly pulled at his balls roughly making him groan. She sneered at him menacingly and got up off the bed. She stood by his left and he turned to see her unzip the top. Her breasts sprang free it their naturalness. They looked full and did not sag. They didn’t look real, but they didn’t look bad in anyway. She lifted them up and squeezed them together. She leaned over and pushed them into his face.
Arlene took another step back, turned around and slid her skirt down. A small shapely vinyl thronged ass wiggled at The Loop. She did a little dance with her ass facing him, moving her arms and legs to unheard music that played just for her. With her back still facing him, she reached for the thong and slid it down and spun to him all in one motion. His eyes nearly popped out of his head. He started to make gurgling noise from under the gag.
“Oh do you want me to remove the gag?” Arlene giggled.
The Loop’s protests continued louder. His body started to pull at the binds in an effort to escape. He tried to shift his body away, but he was stuck in place. Arlene just laughed at his reaction. She climbed back on top of him and she aligned herself at her apex with his face. He turned and she held him still, so he was staring right at her cock. It was just mere inches away from his face.
“Not so funny now, is it?” Arlene exclaimed.
Last edited:
Black Tulip
Not so delicate flower
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2003
- Posts
- 5,945
Dingus,
I am not sure about the place of the story. Would that be some kind of fair? If yes, I would have liked more about the noise, the lights and the smells. If not, maybe I am missing something Americans all know?
Nice twist, but you should have kept quiet about the nose. That gave you/her/him away.
Sorry, seem to have a grumpy mood.
I am not sure about the place of the story. Would that be some kind of fair? If yes, I would have liked more about the noise, the lights and the smells. If not, maybe I am missing something Americans all know?
Nice twist, but you should have kept quiet about the nose. That gave you/her/him away.
Sorry, seem to have a grumpy mood.
Dingus Guy
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2003
- Posts
- 718
Comedy Club
In the US a place to go to watch comedians perform a standup act. It is a sitdown club setting with a stage. It is where all the comedians you see on TV or the movies start before going big time.
As for the nose, I thought about that too, but I wanted to give somewhat a hint of the oncoming train wreck.
In the US a place to go to watch comedians perform a standup act. It is a sitdown club setting with a stage. It is where all the comedians you see on TV or the movies start before going big time.
As for the nose, I thought about that too, but I wanted to give somewhat a hint of the oncoming train wreck.
G
Guest
Guest
DG,
I agree with BT about the nose. It gave it away for me too, lol.
Overall, it is a good story. Nice comeuppance for the comedian. It might could use a little fleshing out, but that's just my opinion.
CM (who is having one of those days where she feels like all of her stories are utter crap and that she is a bad writer, so who is she to be making suggestions for someone else's story??)
I agree with BT about the nose. It gave it away for me too, lol.
Overall, it is a good story. Nice comeuppance for the comedian. It might could use a little fleshing out, but that's just my opinion.
CM (who is having one of those days where she feels like all of her stories are utter crap and that she is a bad writer, so who is she to be making suggestions for someone else's story??)
SummerMorning
ah...
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2003
- Posts
- 1,986
Hey all...I have this funny feeling, I'll miss this challenge - was busy all week w not much access to internet. Will write for next challenge...
Forgive me, for I have sunned...
Forgive me, for I have sunned...
Dingus Guy
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2003
- Posts
- 718
Not to worry
If you have sunned, then I am sure you got a nice tan out of it.
Anyway, I am sure Crimson Maiden will make the next challenge so more fun. It's time CM, let's see what you got. I have such a sweet challenge for the following week, I only wish we had more people interested in doing it. Can't wait to share it with you all.
If you have sunned, then I am sure you got a nice tan out of it.
Anyway, I am sure Crimson Maiden will make the next challenge so more fun. It's time CM, let's see what you got. I have such a sweet challenge for the following week, I only wish we had more people interested in doing it. Can't wait to share it with you all.
Dingus Guy
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2003
- Posts
- 718
Welcome to the group Reohoko
We must have posted at the same and I missed your post. The next challenge should be today or tomorrow depending on when our lovely Crimson Maiden can free herself from her cute little beasties at home.
We must have posted at the same and I missed your post. The next challenge should be today or tomorrow depending on when our lovely Crimson Maiden can free herself from her cute little beasties at home.
Black Tulip
Not so delicate flower
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2003
- Posts
- 5,945
SummerMorning,
It would look better on this thread if you had stated you had sinned.
Hope you can join next time.
Hai Reo, nice to see you jump in.
My weekend just started, so I am in a great mood.
Let the games begin!
It would look better on this thread if you had stated you had sinned.
Hope you can join next time.
Hai Reo, nice to see you jump in.
My weekend just started, so I am in a great mood.
Let the games begin!
SummerMorning
ah...
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2003
- Posts
- 1,986
Aye...sunned, sinned, it's all the same...in the end you get hell from both 
Once I fell asleep in the sun and peeled all over my stomach - it looked like fluffy stomach dandruff - truly incredible and hellishly painful wearing a t-shirt.
Yeah, let's hear the next challenge!
Once I fell asleep in the sun and peeled all over my stomach - it looked like fluffy stomach dandruff - truly incredible and hellishly painful wearing a t-shirt.
Yeah, let's hear the next challenge!
G
Guest
Guest
The challenge
Ok, your wish is my command
the challenge is now at hand
for a certain category you must write
now please, don't run in fright
it's time to scare the readers galore
with unearthly beasts, blood, and gore
erotic horror, yep, that's the game
be sure to choose a frightening name
your story must include these things
a teddy bear, a carrot stick, a D-ring
and a nasty creature, but don't forget
one thousand words you must beget
or it will not meet the challenge part
and now it's time, you may start.
Ok, your wish is my command
the challenge is now at hand
for a certain category you must write
now please, don't run in fright
it's time to scare the readers galore
with unearthly beasts, blood, and gore
erotic horror, yep, that's the game
be sure to choose a frightening name
your story must include these things
a teddy bear, a carrot stick, a D-ring
and a nasty creature, but don't forget
one thousand words you must beget
or it will not meet the challenge part
and now it's time, you may start.
SummerMorning
ah...
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2003
- Posts
- 1,986
...just a minute! I wrote my challenge! Hehe...
15 Minutes to Midnight
Cast: The Baron, The Baroness, The Slave, The Stuffed Mouse, The Taxidermist
"I say to you, good Mouse, behold old grandfather striking!" there was no response to the muffled cry, which seemed to originate within a centuries old polished brass and ivory grandfather clock.
"I said, behold the striking, mouse!" came the cry, once more. Then, with a sigh, a young man stepped into view from behind a strikingly crinkled tapestry, depicting the Gatherer of Cherries. He walked smartly up to the clock, brushing an imaginary speck of dust from his silk uniform before rapping sharply on the side of the clock. He cocked his head, listening, but there was no reply.
"Mouse, this foolishness becomes you not!" still, no reply came from the clock. Grabbing hold of a sturdy wooden lever the fellow opened the clock and a shapely woman fell out, her motion closely resembling that of a sack of potatoes.
"A word you! Mouse you are not, therefore where be she that hath so taken my heart?" said the man, turning the woman over before recoiling back in horror. The vibrating hat pin that he had prepared, so that Mouse would no longer have to use the contraceptive machine had dislodged itself and penetrated the woman's eye and brain, killing her instantly.
"Red hair, white skin, the violet pendant! Baroness, what have you done!" he waved his hands around, flustered, before grabbing hold of her and dragging her into a timely doorway, "The Baron will have my hide! O, woe! O, grievous woe!"
Dumping the dead Baroness unceremoniously into the corner he ran with all haste to the halls of Mouse, his paramour. He found her gently combing the gentle vegetation, which provided relief from the dazzling, bare expanse of her belly.
"Mouse! A terrible thing!"
"What is it Mikhail? Speak?" she said, concern mixing with lewd emotions in her eyes.
"The Baroness! Oh, the Baroness! She killed herself!"
"What? How? I saw her just a minute ago, she ordered I draw her bath and prepare her oils! 'Tis why I am late for our midlit tryst"
"She crept into the grandfather clock and inadvertently killed herself with a hair pin I had hidden there for you!"
"A hair pin?"
"Er...yes..."
"A vibrating hair pin?"
"Er..."
"You beast! You thought to off my hopes of children, like your balls are offed?"
"No! No! A newer model, 'twould have pleasured your oasis and given you relief from that piston driven contraceptive machine!"
"Well, that's not important now! Quickly, take the Baroness to the taxidermist and have her stuffed, then dress her in my finery and bring her to the chapel. I'll meet you there; I think I have a solution!"
---
Mikhail the Slave staggered down the winding wooden stairs until he came to the halls of Taxidermist. Trembling with nerves, for the suggestive monoglyphs upon the walls seemed intent on having his shaven behind; he dragged the limp Baroness to the wooden door and called out, "Igor! For the love of Behemoth, awake!"
"Erhh? Wot? Who's blund'rin' about me rooms, eh?" came the melodious voice, so badly marred by a churlish accent.
"I have great favors to beg you! Please, help me!"
"Arr, da slave, eh? Right, yeah...I'll be gettin' somethin' done wid ya, yeah!" the door opened and there stood the Taxidermist, in his leather trench coat and whip.
"Please, I beg you! Stuff this corpse as fast as you can, so it shall be preserved!"
"I'll be havin' some paymen' fer dat, ya now..."
"Just stuff her, good 'dermist!"
And that was what he did.
---
"Have you brought her?" Mouse's insistent voice from within the little chapel.
"Uhuh," grunted Mikhail as he shuffled in gingerly and whimpering in pain as he dragged the Baroness, now decked out as Mouse.
"Mmm...Good, you even got the lipstick right! Quickly now, put her into the confession booth! No, not that one! The private one, the one the Baron uses. Not there! The priest goes there! The other side. Hurry up, won't you! And stop walking like a duck!" she ordered him about imperiously, as he proceeded to array the Baroness in a kneeling position.
"There, it is done, my Mouse! What now?"
"Give me the Baroness' clothes, quickly!"
"Wh...what?"
"Give them to me!" he handed her the Baroness' red-fox coat and flowing red wig, which she donned quickly and elegantly, "Now, Slave! Let's quickly away to my new chambers, the Baron comes at Midnight tonight to enjoy his Stuffed Mouse!"
As they ran (well, she ran) along the halls, she giggled softly, causing Mikhail to glare at her in consternation. When they were in the Baroness' chambers he burst out, "But the Baron will know!"
"He's half blind and completely drunk every time he goes to confession! And the peppy seeds he eats to get his little sergeant standing make him hallucinate anyway, so don't worry about him!" she laughed and caressed his smooth chin and kissed him gently, "Now strip, or you'll have to worry about me!"
"But...!" she smacked his ass with a convenient oaken paddle.
"Now, Slave!"
He swallowed his fear, seeing the determination in her soft grey eyes and proceeded to strip. Suddenly she began to laugh out loud, "O! I see how you paid the Taxidermist! Poor, poor Slave! My little honey pot is all stretched and bruised, isn't it? Hmm?"
"Y...yes," he whimpered.
"Silence. I didn't let you speak." she said primly, slapping his golden buttocks again. Mikhail caught his breath as tears came to his eyes, his rear still raw from the Taxidermist's art.
Mouse ran her soft fingers along his straight shaft and the smooth skin where his balls would have been, had he not entered the Special Church Choir. She kissed his pulsing glans lightly and grinned wickedly, "Little pigeon here likes it when his backdoor friend gets played with, does he?"
He swallowed, as he saw her stand and lift a leather harness from a carved beech table.
"You like Mr. Panda?" she asked innocently, as she licked the knob of the large, black and white dildo. He watched in disbelief as she undressed and buckled on the harness, attaching the dildo, "Well, Mr. Panda likes your little tight missy back there, and he's going to visit her a lot more nowadays, isn't he?"
He nodded his assent, as Mouse proceeded to mount him.
---
The Baron died of a cardiac arrest five months later while confessing his sins to a Stuffed Mouse. His daughter, Mouse, became the new Baroness of Ostronog. Mikhail remained her slave; he became very familiar with Mr. Panda as well as Mr. Panda's friends, Mr. Dragon and Mr. Potato Head. The Taxidermist stayed in his cellar. The Baroness was sold for a tidy sum to a funny anthropologist fellow from the West.
15 Minutes to Midnight
Cast: The Baron, The Baroness, The Slave, The Stuffed Mouse, The Taxidermist
"I say to you, good Mouse, behold old grandfather striking!" there was no response to the muffled cry, which seemed to originate within a centuries old polished brass and ivory grandfather clock.
"I said, behold the striking, mouse!" came the cry, once more. Then, with a sigh, a young man stepped into view from behind a strikingly crinkled tapestry, depicting the Gatherer of Cherries. He walked smartly up to the clock, brushing an imaginary speck of dust from his silk uniform before rapping sharply on the side of the clock. He cocked his head, listening, but there was no reply.
"Mouse, this foolishness becomes you not!" still, no reply came from the clock. Grabbing hold of a sturdy wooden lever the fellow opened the clock and a shapely woman fell out, her motion closely resembling that of a sack of potatoes.
"A word you! Mouse you are not, therefore where be she that hath so taken my heart?" said the man, turning the woman over before recoiling back in horror. The vibrating hat pin that he had prepared, so that Mouse would no longer have to use the contraceptive machine had dislodged itself and penetrated the woman's eye and brain, killing her instantly.
"Red hair, white skin, the violet pendant! Baroness, what have you done!" he waved his hands around, flustered, before grabbing hold of her and dragging her into a timely doorway, "The Baron will have my hide! O, woe! O, grievous woe!"
Dumping the dead Baroness unceremoniously into the corner he ran with all haste to the halls of Mouse, his paramour. He found her gently combing the gentle vegetation, which provided relief from the dazzling, bare expanse of her belly.
"Mouse! A terrible thing!"
"What is it Mikhail? Speak?" she said, concern mixing with lewd emotions in her eyes.
"The Baroness! Oh, the Baroness! She killed herself!"
"What? How? I saw her just a minute ago, she ordered I draw her bath and prepare her oils! 'Tis why I am late for our midlit tryst"
"She crept into the grandfather clock and inadvertently killed herself with a hair pin I had hidden there for you!"
"A hair pin?"
"Er...yes..."
"A vibrating hair pin?"
"Er..."
"You beast! You thought to off my hopes of children, like your balls are offed?"
"No! No! A newer model, 'twould have pleasured your oasis and given you relief from that piston driven contraceptive machine!"
"Well, that's not important now! Quickly, take the Baroness to the taxidermist and have her stuffed, then dress her in my finery and bring her to the chapel. I'll meet you there; I think I have a solution!"
---
Mikhail the Slave staggered down the winding wooden stairs until he came to the halls of Taxidermist. Trembling with nerves, for the suggestive monoglyphs upon the walls seemed intent on having his shaven behind; he dragged the limp Baroness to the wooden door and called out, "Igor! For the love of Behemoth, awake!"
"Erhh? Wot? Who's blund'rin' about me rooms, eh?" came the melodious voice, so badly marred by a churlish accent.
"I have great favors to beg you! Please, help me!"
"Arr, da slave, eh? Right, yeah...I'll be gettin' somethin' done wid ya, yeah!" the door opened and there stood the Taxidermist, in his leather trench coat and whip.
"Please, I beg you! Stuff this corpse as fast as you can, so it shall be preserved!"
"I'll be havin' some paymen' fer dat, ya now..."
"Just stuff her, good 'dermist!"
And that was what he did.
---
"Have you brought her?" Mouse's insistent voice from within the little chapel.
"Uhuh," grunted Mikhail as he shuffled in gingerly and whimpering in pain as he dragged the Baroness, now decked out as Mouse.
"Mmm...Good, you even got the lipstick right! Quickly now, put her into the confession booth! No, not that one! The private one, the one the Baron uses. Not there! The priest goes there! The other side. Hurry up, won't you! And stop walking like a duck!" she ordered him about imperiously, as he proceeded to array the Baroness in a kneeling position.
"There, it is done, my Mouse! What now?"
"Give me the Baroness' clothes, quickly!"
"Wh...what?"
"Give them to me!" he handed her the Baroness' red-fox coat and flowing red wig, which she donned quickly and elegantly, "Now, Slave! Let's quickly away to my new chambers, the Baron comes at Midnight tonight to enjoy his Stuffed Mouse!"
As they ran (well, she ran) along the halls, she giggled softly, causing Mikhail to glare at her in consternation. When they were in the Baroness' chambers he burst out, "But the Baron will know!"
"He's half blind and completely drunk every time he goes to confession! And the peppy seeds he eats to get his little sergeant standing make him hallucinate anyway, so don't worry about him!" she laughed and caressed his smooth chin and kissed him gently, "Now strip, or you'll have to worry about me!"
"But...!" she smacked his ass with a convenient oaken paddle.
"Now, Slave!"
He swallowed his fear, seeing the determination in her soft grey eyes and proceeded to strip. Suddenly she began to laugh out loud, "O! I see how you paid the Taxidermist! Poor, poor Slave! My little honey pot is all stretched and bruised, isn't it? Hmm?"
"Y...yes," he whimpered.
"Silence. I didn't let you speak." she said primly, slapping his golden buttocks again. Mikhail caught his breath as tears came to his eyes, his rear still raw from the Taxidermist's art.
Mouse ran her soft fingers along his straight shaft and the smooth skin where his balls would have been, had he not entered the Special Church Choir. She kissed his pulsing glans lightly and grinned wickedly, "Little pigeon here likes it when his backdoor friend gets played with, does he?"
He swallowed, as he saw her stand and lift a leather harness from a carved beech table.
"You like Mr. Panda?" she asked innocently, as she licked the knob of the large, black and white dildo. He watched in disbelief as she undressed and buckled on the harness, attaching the dildo, "Well, Mr. Panda likes your little tight missy back there, and he's going to visit her a lot more nowadays, isn't he?"
He nodded his assent, as Mouse proceeded to mount him.
---
The Baron died of a cardiac arrest five months later while confessing his sins to a Stuffed Mouse. His daughter, Mouse, became the new Baroness of Ostronog. Mikhail remained her slave; he became very familiar with Mr. Panda as well as Mr. Panda's friends, Mr. Dragon and Mr. Potato Head. The Taxidermist stayed in his cellar. The Baroness was sold for a tidy sum to a funny anthropologist fellow from the West.
Last edited:
SummerMorning
ah...
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2003
- Posts
- 1,986
Damn! Yeah...I'm evil! I'm evil! Go bananas!
Phew...what a relief to write a bit! After two weeks of studying, work and boring bits (well...ok, 'cept the time I got drunk, the time...er...two times I took M out, the other time I got drunk, the cinemas...er... )
Oh! BTW - liked the Agnes story, hehe...I once played Agnes. Agnes the transsexual whose real name was Victor Thumb. It was a smashing theatrical burlesque, but damn it was hard finding high heels to fit me
Phew...what a relief to write a bit! After two weeks of studying, work and boring bits (well...ok, 'cept the time I got drunk, the time...er...two times I took M out, the other time I got drunk, the cinemas...er...
)Oh! BTW - liked the Agnes story, hehe...I once played Agnes. Agnes the transsexual whose real name was Victor Thumb. It was a smashing theatrical burlesque, but damn it was hard finding high heels to fit me
SummerMorning
ah...
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- Dec 27, 2003
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- 1,986
PS - what's a D-ring? Is that like an O-ring? a beDspRing?
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SummerMorning
ah...
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Ohhhh!!! I know those! I remember for Xmas when we got drunk and I ended up...er...yeah. I know what a D-ring is now.
Thx!
Thx!
Black Tulip
Not so delicate flower
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2003
- Posts
- 5,945
Do I get that right? A D-ring is a piece of ironware?
Now that get's the creative mind in gear.
Summer, I thought you had no time? It is not even midnight at my place yet! OK, 25 minutes left.
I liked your Stuffed Mouse. But oasis? Really funny.
I found the reading a bit difficult because there were no visible paragraphs.
A technical question: can you get an erection when castrated?
God, the things one wonders about at Lit.
Now that get's the creative mind in gear.
Summer, I thought you had no time? It is not even midnight at my place yet! OK, 25 minutes left.
I liked your Stuffed Mouse. But oasis? Really funny.
I found the reading a bit difficult because there were no visible paragraphs.
A technical question: can you get an erection when castrated?
God, the things one wonders about at Lit.
SummerMorning
ah...
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2003
- Posts
- 1,986
Damn! I just noticed! When I pasted the whole thing into Lit it messed up the paragraphs! Arrrgh! Will fix!
SummerMorning
ah...
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2003
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OK, fixed the whole thing. I pasted from word instead of from notepad by accident...
As to castration - apparently castrati were all the rage among italian noblewomen in the 18th and 19th century - you could have your way with them, they weren't hairy and - you couldn't get a strange blonde kid with your sicilian husband . So I assume an erection doesn't need to have balls...
Are you saying the oasis is or isn't funny? Hmm...I recall some bubbly tracing its way in rivulets...
As to time - I found "inspiration"... and yeah, I also use CET.
As to castration - apparently castrati were all the rage among italian noblewomen in the 18th and 19th century - you could have your way with them, they weren't hairy and - you couldn't get a strange blonde kid with your sicilian husband
. So I assume an erection doesn't need to have balls...Are you saying the oasis is or isn't funny? Hmm...I recall some bubbly tracing its way in rivulets...
As to time - I found "inspiration"... and yeah, I also use CET.
Black Tulip
Not so delicate flower
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2003
- Posts
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That looks a whole lot better.
No complaints left.
I meant laughing funny, the oasis that is.
No little bastards to give the play away, clever ladies.
You're on CET too? I thought you were based in England.
No complaints left.
I meant laughing funny, the oasis that is.
No little bastards to give the play away, clever ladies.
You're on CET too? I thought you were based in England.
SummerMorning
ah...
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2003
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Ne, ne... pa kje! Jaz, anglez? Ta bi pa bila dobra! Slovenec iz Slovenije!
So you see, I'm not an Angle from England...maybe a Curve from Cordova...but not, neither Angle nor Saxon. It is other conquerors and conquered that have left their genes to me.
So you see, I'm not an Angle from England...maybe a Curve from Cordova...but not, neither Angle nor Saxon. It is other conquerors and conquered that have left their genes to me.
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