The Birds and the Bees Talk

[wishfulthinking]

I got thinking...

Have you received or given one? What did it entail? What did it leave out?

My brother and I got the Talk when I was about 12-13, by my mum, with a pop-up book. Yep. I think it was called 'The Book of Life'. My mum wasn't impressed when my brother and I couldn't stop laughing over the floppy pop-up male pelvis.

 

[TheEarl]

Missed it completely. I learned most things I needed to know from porn and erotica. School sex-education was laughable and my parents were never quite sure when to broach the subject with me (they had it down pat for my sisters (I guess its an easy in when you buy first bras)).

So congratulations Lit on teaching me the Birds and the Bees. Not so much the physical specifics (which is all we did learn in Sex-Ed) but my nous and skill for the topic. Thank you.

The Earl

 

[rgraham666]

My dad tried (once) when I was about 9?, 10? A long time ago.

I was too young to understand and he wasn't too clear on the concept himself.

So I had to learn through osmosis like just about everyone else.

Unfortunately, I was an untouchable so the lessons I learned weren't good ones. It's why I'm such a twisted individual now.

 

[Wicked-N-Erotic]

Ugh...I need to give one now. My daughter is 12 and has taken the class at school but I need to have the talk with her soon, I'm just not sure how much to tell her and how to go about it without embarrassing her or me for that matter. I've thought about asking her what she knows and go from there.

I never had the talk, I wish I had.

Wicked

 

[tolyk]

In responce about the embarrassment of the situation.. What would you rather face, a slightly embarrassing moment, or having a pregnant teenager?

I think the pros of the conversation far outweigh any possible cons, definately if it is only ones comfort level.

I never had the talk either, but personally, I think it can do a lot of good. If a teen is going to have sex, there isn't much someone can do to stop it, but at least inpart knowledge upon them so that if they do choose to do it, then they are prepared. Condoms, safe-sex, etc.. So that they know about the consequences and ramifications of such an act.

-Tol

 

[SensualCealy]

I must be one wierd Mom, I was told by my daughter that my son was collecting pictures of girls on their user.

Being the good Mom I discreatly wrote down the sites and gave the list to his Dad.

Conversation with Dad: Me handing list to his Dad
Dad: "What's this?"

Me: "A list of sites your son has been visiting on their shared user!"

Dad: "Good choices!"

Me: "Are you going to speak to him about them and using the computer?"

Dad: "No! I think he has it figured out by now!"

I walk away~

Me now pissed off at son's Father, quickly trying to figure out what to do!

Picking son up from swimming class with list sitting on passenger seat....

He gets in...

Son: "What's this?"

me: "You read it and you tell me what it is."

Son: "Woooaaaa, who's are these, Dad's?"

Me: "Ah no, I found them while I was cleaning up the users and getting rid of garbage."

Son: "Well they aren't mine!!!"

Me: "Don't lie, I don't have a problem with you looking at them, what I do have a problem with is you keeping them on your sisters and your user knowing she can find the pictures and look at them too!" ( bikinied women, kissing women etc, nothing too bad at all)

Son:

ABSOLUTE SILENCE!

Me: THE TALK!!! Basically said, if you cant afford condoms , you cant afford a baby. When you are old enough and responsible enough to support both the mother and the child, you can get free ones if need be. At this point being 13 your hand is a much safer bet, then getting a girl pregnant! You have great opportunities ahead of you, enjoy being a kid, it doesnt last long!

Then Im sure he thought I started to babble! lol

End of talk!
C

 

[Guest]

well,
i never really had the talk with my daughter
HOWEVAH
there is this adult store not too far away and shes been threatening to go there with her friends. hrm...ambiguous feelings about this.
1) would i mind if she went.
no
2) would i mind if she went with friends and got some stupid ideas
yes

so, i took her. i bought her her first vibrator and asked her what she knew about it.
"honey, do you know what your clit is?"
(blushing profusely)
"Yes, MOTHER"
"GOOD, lemme tell you about it any way and itll be the last time i ever mention it unless you ask me."


erm... at the very least, she will know what pleasure is...she will know her body. she will know that when she gets older and has a lover, just what places will make her strum.

we shall see.

 

[SensualCealy]

Vella, how old is your daughter?
just wondering, C

 

[Guest]

Vella, how old is your daughter?
just wondering, C

one month... she will be 17
AAARRRGGGGG!

EDITED TO ADD; when i was 16 i had my first vibrator which i threw away because i had no clue what to do with it

 

[SensualCealy]

okay, (whew thinking she was much younger) I could handle that.

At 16 1/2 I was getting it on a regular basis from my bf ( now husband) didnt really need a vibrator, but my lovely brother bought me one at a sex toy party just in case, a few months before I had met said bf.

I have been really open with my 11 yr old daughter but I dont know if I could go that far with her, I think Id give her one of my novels to read (very sexually explicit) as well as an anatamy book.

Time will tell,
C

 

[impressive]

My mom gave me pamphlets. I didn't even rate a BOOK. Damned uptight Catholics! But, I survived and figured it all out myself while still relatively young.

My kids are too young for "the talk" but we've had a couple basic anatomy and childbirth discussions. They have not expressed even a whiff of a hint of an interest in sex.

I am determined not to burden them with the guilt baggage that my mother attempted to lay on me. "Reputation" was EVERYTHING to my mom. Ugh.

 

[SensualCealy]

Not that I want my daughter to be active, but I think this next year she will learn alot, considering in the next year I expect her to get her period. She knows all about that, but the actual way you can get pregnant she doesnt. She knows boys have semen that fertilize the eggs, but how it gets there I think may still be somewhat a mystery. (I hope!)
C

 

[eric shawn listo]

When I was twelve my mother gave me a book with some rather gnarly pics of disease related results. (I think it was the B&W that made them so disturbing) As well as the basic parts of the anatomy we've all grown to love and where they were to be inserted.

That and, "If you have any questions ask your father."

I believe she found some..er..ah...stains on my sheets.

See, it was after I watched North By Northwest and there's this scene where Cary Grant pulls Eva Marie Saint up into a train berth and...well, I digress.

The book was all I ever got.

My wife is now encouraging me to have the talk with my nine year old son. Are we doing it this early now?

esl

 

[SensualCealy]

IMHO, it is never too early, just too graphic.

Make it boring, and make it geared to his age. At nine I dont think he needs to know, how to pleasure a woman. He needs to know when he has an erection its normal! It will go away, it wont stay like that forever! lol seems funny but my son was scared when he had his first.

Now a day, things are starting early, take a look at whats offered in girls clothing at young ages and you will see. Boys dont seem to be starting any earlier then before. It has only been in this last year Id say that my son has gotten into girls. However he doesnt seem to be turned on by the ones in his grade, but he sure likes the Sunshine girls in the Toronto Sun or Star! lol

C

 

[fille]

No one ever told me anything. Too bad, too, because figuring it out all by yourself is not the best way to go. I'm starting early with my children - giving them information as they seem to be ready to hear it. I don't want them to find out what it's all about in the wrong way.

 

[minsue]

I've thought about asking her what she knows and go from there.

That's what my mother did when I was about 12. Must have been traumatic as I've blocked the rest of the conversation out.

 

[eric shawn listo]

Make it boring, and make it geared to his age. At nine I dont think he needs to know, how to pleasure a woman. He needs to know when he has an erection its normal! It will go away, it wont stay like that forever! lol seems funny but my son was scared when he had his first.

Thanks. Yeah, he's not scared about the erections. Seems he's been getting them since he was a babe. Just expressing a private curiousity about the pleasure at this age.

 

[SensualCealy]

I would think after my conversation, (basically since he said nothing in return) with my son, that asking what they know is a bad idea.

They dont want to admit ( I wouldnt) what they know, you may think they know too much then ask how they found out.

They may know too little and feel embarased.

If you know what your kids are taking in health class you can elaborate where you see fit, you know your kids better then anyone. What ever you do, dont judge them, dont ask why they want to know something when they ask, or you will never know what they are up to.
IMO
Cealy

 

[SnoopDog]

Never received one, never gave one.

Snoopy

 

[SensualCealy]

I wouldnt go asking for one, but your time will come when you have to give one, start practicing now! lol
C

 

[R. Richard]

One thing no one has brought up if the counter question.

Dad or Mom to teenager: We need to talk about sex.

Teenager: Sure. What do you want to know?

 

[SensualCealy]

IMHO- that was funny, but on the serious side, if you wait much after 13, that statement would likely be true!
C

 

[rgraham666]

However he doesnt seem to be turned on by the ones in his grade, but he sure likes the Sunshine girls in the Toronto Sun or Star! lol

C

That's why I stopped reading The Sun. Well, besides the fact that most of their opinion columnists are homicidal psychotics.

I suddenly realised they were Sunshine Girls! On average a quarter of a century younger than me.

Many odd sexual proclivities may be laid at my feet. Pedophilia isn't one of them.

 

[Guest]

Never received one, probably for the best; all turned out well. Never gave one (their dad did it).

Perdita

 

[gauchecritic]

If I remember this correctly my sons were inquisitive from as soon as they could speak, about every subject imaginable and fortunately included; where do babies come from? why does my willy stick out? How does the baby get milk? Eventually they were actually interested in the answers too.

I'd guess that a daughter will have a very specific point at which they need to know what's going on.

My sister-in-law found a speck of blood on my niece's knickers one day and gave her the entire 'birds and bees'. Later that evening she found out that she had simply somehow managed to cut herself at the top of her thigh.

Gauche