The Best Fucking Fortune Cookie Ever!

[carsonshepherd]

"You make people realize that there exist other beauties in the world."

This is the single best fortune cookie I've ever gotten. Ever. How cool a fortune is that for a writer!

I may play the lucky numbers in the lottery, too, because after reading that I feel golden.

 

[Guest]

You are golden, dear. P.

 

[carsonshepherd]

You are golden, dear. P.

That's one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me.

 

[rikaaim]

Nah. The best fortune cookie ever was the one my friend got.

"You will eat more Chinese food."

Brilliant! Those self promoting bastards. Genius. I can't believe they did that! I'm off to get some sweet and sour chicken now.

 

[impressive]

Best I ever received:

"You will enjoy good health and financial independence."

I'm only halfway there and it's been about 10 years in the making.

 

[Vincent E]

The person with whom you are sharing this meal does not intend to pay for it.

Honest.

 

[TheEarl]

This fortune cookie intentionally left blank

The Earl

 

[LadyJeanne]

The person with whom you are sharing this meal does not intend to pay for it.

Honest.

Remember that game where you add the words 'in bed' to the end of every fortune cookie fortune...

 

[carsonshepherd]

Remember that game where you add the words 'in bed' to the end of every fortune cookie fortune...

yeah, and it's always somewhat ridiculous, isn't it?

 

[LadyJeanne]

yeah, and it's always somewhat ridiculous, isn't it?

Oh, always! Adding it to Vincent E's fortune is worth a giggle, or even a snicker.

 

[BlackShanglan]

"You make people realize that there exist other beauties in the world."

Brilliant. And clearly meant for you. It renews my faith in Karma.

(Not that I needed it, she's chewing my shoe. While it's on my foot.)

(Sorry, in joke - the puppy's name is Karma.)

Shanglan

 

[rikaaim]

Another good one was, "Help. I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory." Can't really add..."In bed" to that one.

 

[Guest]

Remember that game where you add the words 'in bed' to the end of every fortune cookie fortune...

A friend and I use "between the sheets" to enhance our fortune cookies. A few years ago we had a wager going on who could get the best "enhanced" fortune.

He thought he had it won with "You are the greatest in the world."

That is until I got "You are the master of every situation."

Since then I have been collecting them. Some of my vavorites are:

Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals.

This is a night of love and affection. (got that two years ago while on a date with a woman who told me about the "enhancement" before we opened them.)

Somebody values your advice.

Your many hidden talents will become obvious to those around you.

A beautiful, smart and loving person will be coming into your life. (got that one this past June.)

You are sociable and entertaining.

You are capable, competent, creative and careful. Prove it.

Fortune is on your side. Play it for all it's worth.

Your success in life must be earned with earnest efforts.

 

[minsue]

Re: Re: The Best Fucking Fortune Cookie Ever!

Brilliant. And clearly meant for you. It renews my faith in Karma.

(Not that I needed it, she's chewing my shoe. While it's on my foot.)

(Sorry, in joke - the puppy's name is Karma.)

Shanglan

Hear hear

 

[yui]

"You make people realize that there exist other beauties in the world."

This is the single best fortune cookie I've ever gotten. Ever. How cool a fortune is that for a writer!

I may play the lucky numbers in the lottery, too, because after reading that I feel golden.

Sometimes the truth finds people in the oddest places, eh?