The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Handley_Page]

and the Anglo-American Machinists' Union wonders why you're redundant.

I put in a Spanish wench...

Aye Aye Aye. . . .

I put in a 6" No 4 Phillips screwdriver

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Aye Aye Aye. . . .

I put in a 6" No 4 Phillips screwdriver

and you get back a No. 3 Robertson.
(much better for torque resistance)

I put in a list of other Canadian inventions...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get back a No. 3 Robertson.
(much better for torque resistance)

I put in a list of other Canadian inventions...

Of which the Telephone is very significant.

I put in a spark-gap transmitter

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Of which the Telephone is very significant.

I put in a spark-gap transmitter

(not to mention time zones...)

and it's vacuumed up by a transistor.

I put in a quartz radio kit...

 

[Handley_Page]

(not to mention time zones...)

and it's vacuumed up by a transistor.

I put in a quartz radio kit...

and the BBC weather forecast comes through very clearly. . . .


I put in a new loudspeaker

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and the BBC weather forecast comes through very clearly. . . .


I put in a new loudspeaker

and the AH Librarian says "shhhh" quite emphatically.

I put in a new title in the Dewey 800s...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the AH Librarian says "shhhh" quite emphatically.

I put in a new title in the Dewey 800s...

and, it's something about a lighthouse and his keeper.

I put in light bulb.

 

[TE999]

and, it's something about a lighthouse and his keeper.

I put in a light bulb.

And you get back a candle.

I put in some cranberries...

OT:

Q: How may psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One, but the light bulb must want to change.

 

[LunaEroticaMystica]

and a boggy memory floats to the surface.

I put in a Wizard in Winter...

 

[pathology_liz]

and a boggy memory floats to the surface.

I put in a Wizard in Winter...

and he lights a globe ball of flame. It has an goniochromisic smooth surface that radiates warmth. A blue glowing sheen is cast around and shadows dance. flickering across your imagination and the surrounding stone walls are creatures of the deep and the air, in a dance of life and love.

I put in banality

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and he lights a globe ball of flame. It has an goniochromisic smooth surface that radiates warmth. A blue glowing sheen is cast around and shadows dance. flickering across your imagination and the surrounding stone walls are creatures of the deep and the air, in a dance of life and love.

I put in banality

and it comes back split, with vanchocstraw ice cream and assorted toppings.

I put in three inanities...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

And you get back a candle.

I put in some cranberries...

OT:

Q: How may psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One, but the light bulb must want to change.

Good one!

Carry on Vending People!

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And you get back a candle.

I put in some cranberries...

OT:

Q: How may psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One, but the light bulb must want to change.

How many parents does it take to change a light bulb?

Parents can't change a light bulb by themselves. It takes a village to change a light bulb.

 

[Austin8]

How many parents does it take to change a light bulb?

Parents can't change a light bulb by themselves. It takes a village to change a light bulb.

and your newborn doesnt require any light whatsoever

I put in a film from the 1973 Giro d'Italia

 

[Noor]

and your newborn doesnt require any light whatsoever

I put in a film from the 1973 Giro d'Italia

and you get toffee

I put in a doctor's appt with a good outcome

Hi A8!

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get toffee

I put in a doctor's appt with a good outcome

and there's a huge chorus of thanks


I put in a new AV
(with loads of thanks to Di for doing it for me)

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and there's a huge chorus of thanks


I put in a new AV
(with loads of thanks to Di for doing it for me)

and everyone looks forward to a visit from the Solstice Dragon bearing his sack of gifts.

I put in a sacrificial virgin...

 

[Austin8]

and everyone looks forward to a visit from the Solstice Dragon bearing his sack of gifts.

I put in a sacrificial virgin...

hi Nor!

and there's still one around?

I put in a favorite wool cycling cap

 

[kimbalee]

hi Nor!

and there's still one around?

I put in a favorite wool cycling cap

and you get it back when I pick it up with kitchen tongs and return it to the vending machine (allergic to wool)

I also put in a pair of heavy socks for the cold weather...

 

[LunaEroticaMystica]

I snatch up those socks grateful and slip them on quickly, climbing under the covers, sh-shivering.

I put in a heated blanket...

 

[Tio_Narratore]

I snatch up those socks grateful and slip them on quickly, climbing under the covers, sh-shivering.

I put in a heated blanket...

and you find yourself wrapped in the blanket-heater's arms.

I put in a warm winter's night...

 

[Austin8]

and you find yourself wrapped in the blanket-heater's arms.

I put in a warm winter's night...

it's been unseasonably cold here, in the mornings.

I put in a wool cycling jersey

 

[Tio_Narratore]

it's been unseasonably cold here, in the mornings.

I put in a wool cycling jersey

and your wool gets recycled in Jersey.

I put in an ecologically sensitive sheep...

 

[Austin8]

and your wool gets recycled in Jersey.

I put in an ecologically sensitive sheep...

Baaaa-chooo!

I put in a .635cm ball bearing

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Baaaa-chooo!

I put in a .635cm ball bearing

and you get a 2/5" channel.

I put in a masked ball...