The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[YoursSINSerely]

and we'll wrap up nice and warm

I put in an alarm clock.

Oh, and, I slept right through it and I'm holding onto my head.

I put in a cuf of cummee and two aspirins.

 

[kimbalee]

Oh, and, I slept right through it and I'm holding onto my head.

I put in a cuf of cummee and two aspirins.

... and you get a bloody Mary complete with celery stalk to stir.

I put in a pot of red geraniums and bacopa...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

... and you get a bloody Mary complete with celery stalk to stir.

I put in a pot of red geraniums and bacopa...

and, that reminds me that summer is right around the corner with this gorgeous weather we've been having east of the river.

I put in a yellow polka dot bikini.

 

[kimbalee]

and, that reminds me that summer is right around the corner with this gorgeous weather we've been having east of the river.

I put in a yellow polka dot bikini.

and you get a gallon of aloe for the nasty sunburn you got when you wore it.

I put in a beach towel, a big floppy straw hat, and a good book...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get a gallon of aloe for the nasty sunburn you got when you wore it.

I put in a beach towel, a big floppy straw hat, and a good book...

and, the good book makes me horny so I head to the cabana with the boy.

I put in a Do Not Disturb sign.

 

[kimbalee]

and, the good book makes me horny so I head to the cabana with the boy.

I put in a Do Not Disturb sign.

and the maid knocks anyway, because it's not in her language since you hastily wrote it on a piece of paper and wedged it into the door jamb.

I put in a change of sheets and some extra towels...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the maid knocks anyway, because it's not in her language since you hastily wrote it on a piece of paper and wedged it into the door jamb.

I put in a change of sheets and some extra towels...

And, I wake up and realize somebody's finally taken me to a high-class joint.

I put the phone number for room service.

 

[kimbalee]

And, I wake up and realize somebody's finally taken me to a high-class joint.

I put the phone number for room service.

and instead of the breakfast buffet you thought you were ordering... you got liver-well done, brussels sprouts-boiled and unseasoned, and pickled beets with extra vinegar... with orange jello for dessert. I am suggesting you leave no tip.

I put in a translator to make the rest of the trip more pleasurable...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and instead of the breakfast buffet you thought you were ordering... you got liver-well done, brussels sprouts-boiled and unseasoned, and pickled beets with extra vinegar... with orange jello for dessert. I am suggesting you leave no tip.

I put in a translator to make the rest of the trip more pleasurable...

and, he reads the passport stamp to me, "Poland!"

I put in a potato peeler.

 

[Handley_Page]

and, he reads the passport stamp to me, "Poland!"

I put in a potato peeler.

The resulting Vodka is really quite nishe. . . .


I put in a real hangover

 

[YoursSINSerely]

The resulting Vodka is really quite nishe. . . .


I put in a real hangover

And, you'll find me Russian for the medicine chest, or is that medicine for the Russian chest--it's all a blur this morning.

I put in a clean shaker.

 

[Handley_Page]

And, you'll find me Russian for the medicine chest, or is that medicine for the Russian chest--it's all a blur this morning.

I put in a clean shaker.

and you get a "WTF ?" message; complete with a sneeze.


I put in a home-made firework.

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get a "WTF ?" message; complete with a sneeze.


I put in a home-made firework.

And, it spurts in all the right directions.

I put in a match.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And, it spurts in all the right directions.

I put in a match.

and the match-maker complains that you're stealing her job.

I put in a piezoelectric barbeque starter...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the match-maker complains that you're stealing her job.

I put in a piezoelectric barbeque starter...

And, it goes, "click" and the ribs are ready for tickling.

I put in a rack of ribs waiting for a rub.

 

[Handley_Page]

And, it goes, "click" and the ribs are ready for tickling.

I put in a rack of ribs waiting for a rub.

I put in the lube oil

 

[Tio_Narratore]

I put in the lube oil

HP - I need an email addy to send you the figure, and Babs said you were looking for me...

and the ribs slide off the rack.

I put in a few pounds of pulled pork...

 

[Zom_Dom]

HP - I need an email addy to send you the figure, and Babs said you were looking for me...

and the ribs slide off the rack.

I put in a few pounds of pulled pork...

And the pork pulls you right back, inciting a vicious game of "Tug Of War" with the poor vending machine caught right in the middle!

I put in a tie breaker...

 

[xOxCherryxOx]

And the pork pulls you right back, inciting a vicious game of "Tug Of War" with the poor vending machine caught right in the middle!

I put in a tie breaker...

And with the tie and some tugging and pulling I'm sure I could take one for the team and bring home a win.

I put in a little satisfaction gauranteed..

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And with the tie and some tugging and pulling I'm sure I could take one for the team and bring home a win.

I put in a little satisfaction gauranteed..

and the big smile shows that the guarantee was solid.

I put in a little something for your satisfaction...

 

[Zom_Dom]

and the big smile shows that the guarantee was solid.

I put in a little something for your satisfaction...

And the number of bright, shiny smiles that fill the air about the vending machine threaten to blind anyone not wearing sunglasses.

I put in a cat from the Unitary of Worthington...

 

[Handley_Page]

And the number of bright, shiny smiles that fill the air about the vending machine threaten to blind anyone not wearing sunglasses.

I put in a cat from the Unitary of Worthington...

I though Worthington was Beer.
the cat clears the mice from the grain store.


I put in an electronic mouse-catcher that works.

 

[Zom_Dom]

I though Worthington was Beer.
the cat clears the mice from the grain store.


I put in an electronic mouse-catcher that works.

(I believe that's the place the beer gets its name)

And all the electronic mice run for the hills...

I put in a few local microbrews.

 

[Handley_Page]

(I believe that's the place the beer gets its name)

And all the electronic mice run for the hills...

I put in a few local microbrews.

and after a vote, all the microbes liked them.

I put in a new pair of jeans

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and after a vote, all the microbes liked them.

I put in a new pair of jeans

and start a whole new school of jeanetic determinism.

I put in a bit of geometric relativism...