The Artist's View (Closed for BEL and Shimmerotica)

[BlueEyedLady]

OOC: This is a closed thread for BlueEyedLady and Shimmerotica, please enjoy reading it.


IC: It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon and perfect for a walk in the park. I loved walking in the park. My work as a receptionist at a doctor's office keeps me indoors most of the weekday so I try to make the most of the weekend.

Walking down the path that wound around and through the park, sidestepping bikers and joggers, I made my way to my usual bench and pulled out the sack of breadcrumbs I brought to feed the birds.

I know, I know, it's what old ladies do in the park but, to tell the truth, it was a fond memory from my childhood. I was raised by my grandmother after my parents died and this is what we would do every Saturday. When Grams died I kept on doing it. It made me feel like I was still with her somehow.

As I strewed the crumbs to the birds that had gathered, I looked around the people in the park. There was a family having a picnic and children swinging and playing on the playground equiptment. A couple was walking and talking, head close together in that conspiritorial way lovers have.

And, across the way there was an artist sitting on another bench surrounded by his paint brushes, charcoal, pencils, sketch pads and other items that artists use.

I watched him greet those that passed, asking them to pose for him. Some shook their heads no, others nodded and readily accepted, standing there while his hand moved over the pad bringing what he saw to life.

When he was done, he would take the picture and show it to them. Some laughed, some shook their head notibly arguing with him about the portrait. I assumed they disagreed with his view of things, like hating a picture after it's taken. Some even handed him money and took the portraits away with them. I wondered, causually, if this was the way he made a living. Though he seemed well dressed enough not to have to make this his livlihood.

My attention waivered from him and out to the other people in the park, but always coming back to him again after awhile. Then, I saw him pack up his things and begin to leave. I was surprised to see that he was heading my way instead of away from me down the path and I found myself eager to see him up closer and get a better view of him. Though I couldn't say why.


OOC: Despcription: Name: Laurie Wright. Long brown, curly hair, blue eyes. 5' 6" tall.

 

[Shimmerotica]

The Artist

OOC: Gabriel Poe, six feet even, thick, dark hair with cherub like curls and ice blue eyes.

IC: Ahhh, it was enough for today, that last quick portrait for the little girl in the yellow dress, and her green ribbons entwined in her golden hair was a great way to finish. There is something to be said about that unknown element of youth. Youth, something one takes for granted until that day you wake up and poof its gone, like the fragile blossoms of the lilac when the temperature drops oh so slightly.
That is how I felt one month after my fortieth birthday, that youth had decided it belonged to someone else and didn't hang out with me anymore.
So, standing five hours at the park absorbing life was the perfect thing to lift the blahs away.

There was another benefit as well, that young one with the long, brown curly hair was back again today in the park, feeding pigeons like the elderly. I am drawn towards her.
There is a vibrancy that hangs above her, pervades her like an angelic aura. I find my hands wanting to sketch her when I sit alone in the evenings grading papers and sipping a fine red wine...
It is no accident that I headed in her direction today, away from my studio. I saw, I felt her eyes her curiosity today.

There she sits, steadfast in her antiquity, ha ha, ...how she radiates.
A smile perhaps or a little wink, how about both?

Ha that got her attention.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Laurie

As he approached I could see that he was very handsome indeed. And tall. Well, I had seen he was tall before he approached but as he headed my way I saw that he would definatley be at least a head above me if I were to stand and...now where did that thought come from?

I looked away from him, at the birds as I fed them, glancing up just once with a look that I thought he might miss.

My mouth dropped open. Did he just smile at me? And wink? I felt a blush creep up my neck to my face and a returning smile curve my lips before I looked away again.

It wasn't that I was shy. Or hadn't had the attention of men before but there was something different about this man. Something special that seemed to glow about him like a light.

Oh, it was silly of me to think that. I knew that. But I couldn't help the thought popping into my mind. Just like the thought that followed it of calling out to him to come and sit by me for a bit.

But I wasn't that bold. Not with him and so, I went back to feeding the birds, waiting for him to pass, the smile dimming on my face as I thought of the missed opportunity that I couldn't seem to take.

 

[Shimmerotica]

Gabe

I believe that there are things in this world predestined to happen, and you can either be unprepared and caught totally unawares, or you can display some kind of initiative and embrace it when it happens.

That is the path I chose today, for I had caught what I had thought was little look, a look that passed as an invitation from the shy. I also observed the cute blush that followed the wink.

She dropped her head as I was about to pass, and I waited a fraction of a second to see if she would leap.

She did not so I was a full two steps past her when I said with out turning, "My grandmother used to do that..."

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Laurie

I was startled that he spoke. So startled that I spoke myself without thinking.

"Yes," I said, looking up at him, at his back,"My grandmother took me here every Saturday when I was young. Right here in this park. On this bench. And we would talk for hours it seemed. Any problem seemed so small when we were here, talking and feeding the birds. I guess I just try and put things in perspective again when I come here. Forget the worries that accompany so much of life."

I smiled at the memories that brought back. "I miss her so." I said, mostly to myself.

Then, I laughed a little at the thought that he might care about such a little thing.

"I'm sorry," I told him, my hand reaching in for bread crumbs as I spoke and glancing to see if he had walked away during my conversation with myself or not,"It's just that Grams was a big part of my life and I tend to ramble on when I think of her."

 

[Shimmerotica]

Gabe

"There is no need at all for apologies," I smiled, turning towards her, she was looking at me. "I have those same happy memories when I think of my Nana as well" I smiled inwardly to myself.

"And we all need a place, a ... hmm sanctuary to which we can return to and settle when life reaches out and gives our snow globe lives a mean shake." I saw her mulling over this, and she obviously approved-

In that moment a warm, subtle breeze picked up. The type that puts tiny ripples on a still pond, the type that lifted her hair from her shoulders. The blissful sun glowed among the fly away strands in the wind, this intensified her angelic aura. I hed never before been captivated before by such an appearance.

I have painted perhaps a thousand portraits, a thousand souls captured on canvas...yet...

"I hope that I have not interupted a special reverie, or occassion- it's just that...from an artists view, you may be the most stunning creature I have ever seen."

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Laurie

What was a girl to say to that? I don't know. And I sat there looking at him, stunned at his words, the blush that had receeded was now back in full force.

Clearing my throat, I gave a small laugh. "Well, that is a compliment I don't know how to answer. Except to say thank you and wonder what kind of models you have painted in the past to think of someone as average as I am in those terms."

"And you weren't interrupting anything," I said, holding out the bag of bread crumbs in invitation for him to join me. "Really, I just come here out of habit mostly. And to watch the people around me. I work in a doctor's office and sometimes I get tired of the floresent lights. It's so much nicer out here in a natural setting instead of a sterile one."

 

[Shimmerotica]

Gabe

"So true, so true" I said as I sat beside her on the bench, setting my bag o' stuff down beside me.

"and so you know, I have drawn and painted probably what some would consider the most beautiful women and men in the world...but what society deems is not always...." I let the idea slide, I had not even introduced myself and here I was opening debate on society and morale norms....

"I am Gabriel Poe, yes like the author Poe" I said comically, with out extending a hand to shake, a quirk of mine, I never do.

"tut tut, " I interupted before she could respond.

"See that couple over there holding hands, ho wlong do you think they've been dating?"

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Laurie

Surprised at his question, I looked over at the couple I had noticed earlier that day and shrugged.

"They are chatting like a couple who are in the new stages of love. A few months at best. Before the haze of new love has cleared from their eyes and they can see the imperfections of each other. Before arguments can develop over the small things."

I nodded and said,"Yes, not a very long time at all, I would think."

 

[Shimmerotica]

Gabe

"Aha, not very long at all, they walk the entwined walk of those whose every touch is brand new, every thought is original, wouldn't it be divine to never lose that, to have that bliss that nirvana forever?"

"But there is always that moment," she said with no hint of remorse.

"Yes," I said picking up her thought, "There is always that moment when the light comes on and the spell is broken."

"The magic disappears." she said.

"The trick is knowing that it does not matter, not at all" I said, somewhat enigmatically and she turned to look me in the face. I absorbed her features and in my minds eye I could see how her color, her detail, her thereness would transpose onto canvas, or onto marble, or onto any surface...

Her reaction was not one of aversion to my gaze, instead and to my pleasant surprise she seemed to calm and relax, she did not rush themoment and allowed me to explore the possibilities-

In a hushed almost reverent voice I asked, "Who are you?"

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Laurie

I had been thinking over what he had said and I had forgotten to introduce myself.

With a laugh, I said,"Laurie...Laurie Wright."

Then, because I thought that his question held more than asking for just my name, I added,"And, as I said, I am simply a receptionist at a doctor's office. Single and pretting much in a rut at the moment."

Again I laughed and shook my head at myself. It hadn't occured to me that I had been in one until now. But, the truth was, I was doing the same thing every day and hadn't changed my habits in a very long time.

 

[Shimmerotica]

Gabe

"Well, Laurie, Laurie Wright, I am enchanted and or meeting."

I smiled, comfortable in her confession. Pleased at her reaching out.

"Listen, I..." where was I going with this?

"Sure." She said.

"Well Ms. Wright," enjoying the relevance of that little pun, "I can only offer myself. As an artist." I had never been this uncomfortable asking someone to model for me before.

"I have spent my life creating..art...and trying to teach others to create it, see it, savour it. and now her I sit with you, and it's remarkable really, you are...."

What was she? It may sound too cliche to say angelic, or perfect. But there was such a quality to this woman.

I looked over at her and she was blushing furiously and looking as if she was about to try to climb into her bag of bread crumbs.

"Let me start again...Would you like to come to my studio, its a short walk from here?"

 

[BlueEyedLady]

I tried hard not to laugh at his stumbling speech. He was...endearing. I didn't think that was the right word for it but I couldn't find another one to describe the his mannerisms. And the way he searched for the words to describe...well...me. I could feel the blush at the back of my neck and hoped he didn't see it.

When he mentioned his studio, I perked up. I loved art. Musems, art shows, auctions....But I hadn't taken the time to go to them in a long time.

Without a second thought I nodded. "Yes, I would love to go to your studio and see your paintings. How long have you been an artist? Is it what you do for a living?" Again I couldn't see him making a living sitting in the park and drawing. He was too refined, to mannered and too well dressed.

 

[Shimmerotica]

Gabe

"Walk with me, and I'll tell you my story." We left the bench, the new smitten couple, and the girl with the ribbons in her hair. We walked at a leisurely, confident pace.

I carried my sack o' stuff in my left hand, she her sack o' bread in her right. It was thus, side by side, possibly an odd couple to some, that I relayed my personal history.

"The quick answer to your question... is no" I glanced over at her, "I do not paint for a living. However, the real answer is yes, I do paint for a living, for it is what nourishes me, sustains me, fulfills me, it is however, my job as a history prof that pays the bills and clothes my back."

I let this sink in. "I have been somewhat active in art for 35 years, since I was five. I draw with pencil mostly, about ten years ago I branched out fully into painting. I've tried sculpting, and other forms of art but mostly I draw and paint people." Our walk had settled into a good pace and Laurie was playing the role of rapt listener quite well.

"But to answer what I know will be your next question," she looked at me quizzically, "I have never held a public showing, I have never sold a single painting...the only reason I tell you this is because in my little studio-" (little is a bit a bit of a stretch, it encompasses almost a decent size warehouse) "I have packed 30 years of collected works."

Laurie looked at me poised to ask her next question-

"No, I don't know why, well I do, but my reasons are, well- personal...and the money you saw me accept today from those I painted ealrier I accepted because to not do so after they feel they owe me something would be rude, but I give all of that money to a local food bank...and before you think me a martyr it is run by a former student of mine."

We walked in silence, and I could feel her trying to either come to grips with my declaration or something else I did not know. Soon my "studio" was coming into view,

"There's me" I said pointing to the large one story building set back in some trees on the bank of the river. "It was an old shipping warehouse my father bought long long ago, when he died it was the only thing I really kept, besides my last name. I've fixed it up a bit and like the typical artist cliche I live there too, I have kitchen, a washroom, a CD player, and I have a loft bedroom."

I could feel myself blush at the mention of the bedroom, for some reason I felt 14 again.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Laurie

I listened to him and found that it wasn't hard. He made things come alive as he spoke, put reasoning and color into words as he did his paintings. And it was strange how he seemed to be able to read my thoughts, know what I would say next. And I, his. It was as if we communicated on a level that was above what most people do.

There was only one other person I was ever able to do that with. And that was Grams. I loved her and she dotted on me. We seemed to be able to read each other no matter the situation and to know what to say or do next.

It was this frame of mind, that we came upon his studio. Standing there beside him, I took it all in. 'Little' did not even belong in the same sentence with it. But I could hear the pride in his voice as he spoke of it and his feelings for his father as well.

Nodding at his description, I glanced up at him only when he seemed to pause before he noted his bedroom was in the studio. I smiled to reassure him that I was not uncomfortable with that and began walking with him again towards the place.

"I am looking forward to seeing all 30 years of painting," I said, finding that I really was,"It is interesting to see how a person grows over the years. And painting style is a good indicater of how they have done just that."

 

[Shimmerotica]

Gabe

Her reassuring nod at the mention of my bedroom started a headrush that would last for several minutes, but I was able to adequately hide it by unlocked the door and pushing it open, the smell of old warehouse gushed out, and I was slightly embarrassed by this. But I motioned for Laurie to follow me as the entry way was a confusing labryinth of old furniture crates and such.

The lighting here was dim and we went reached what was an proud achievement of mine, a sculpted door, with a face and chest of a young woman, surrounded with flowers seeming to billow from it, very few people had ever seen it before and I was very self concious about it, as I was with all my work really.

I smiled at her apparent speechlessness, and ushered her beyond the door, it was very dark with there being no windows except in the very back in an area divided from the main area and was the area in which I lived.

She showed no hesitation at following a strange man she had just met into the absolute gloom of the warehouse. The door swung shut heavily behind us, I took Laurie's hand, it was soft and warm, it gripped mine tight. I felt as though a current of un restrained energy was coursing in the small spaces between our skin.

"Stay with me, the power panel is right over here." With that we shuffled forward, Laurie obediently following, shifting her hand in mine to what I could describe as a comfortable lovers grip, reassuring and definate.

I flicked the main switch and the large lights over head flashed to life, and there before the two of us three decades of passion were on display....

To this day that sight holds forbidding and approaches overwhelming.

I turned to Laurie her hand still comfortable in mine, and I will never forget the expression on her face.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Laurie

The engraving at the door was breathtaking and I reached out to touch it, expecting it to come to life any minute.

Before I could explore too much, he had ushered me into his warehouse/studio/home and was searching for a light switch. When he took my hand, I readily gave it to him, not wanting to trip over anything. And I was very surprised at how well it fit into his. His hand over mind felt comfortable...right.

But then, when the light came on to expose all of his work, all thoughts of how nice it was being with him fled from my mind.

On the wall, on the floor leaning against the wall, occupying almost every bit of space in the place were paintings upon paintings and I didn't know which to look at first.

Slipping my hand from his, I walked over to the closest, admiring his technique and stlye and soon I was lost in the mirade faces, places and items depicted in them.

Just like the carving outside the door, everything he painted seemed as if it would jump off the canvass and come to life. You could almost see the people breathing.

"It's...it's..." I stopped in the middle of the room and turned about, making a wide gesture with my hands. "There are no words to explain how wonderful it is!" I said and began to look through them again.

"You are a wonderful artist!" I enthused as I paused at a picture of a woman that seemed to even have the blush of innocence in her cheeks. "You could make money with your art! I don't see why you don't try and submit them to a showing. You would be famous in no time and have customers lining up out the door!"

 

[Shimmerotica]

Gabe

I held back from her after turning on the light, there were only a very, very few persons who had ever stepped inside these doors and I always feared and marvelled their reactions.

I wish I had been able to capture at that moment the expression on her face. I could only lament at the loss, but if I could just study her some more....

Of course, to no fault of hers for it is a statement I have become accustomed to hearing, "You could...rich...famous..." it was always the same, but it was the joy, the absolute BLISS, on her face and in her voice when she said it that knocked me off my proverbial feet.

"Uh, no" I said, trying to recite my standard response to this field of questioning/suggestion. "I could never. I would not want for any of this to lose its vitality, its relevance, its connection." she looked at me and began gesticulating like a kid at Christmas, I interupted her, hoping to derail this.

"No, I feel my little world is too fragile and I want to hold on to all of this, call me crazy, call me selfish...but even if all of this is just an illusion I will not deviate, I will not sacrifice."

I know that we would return to this debate, it was written across her face, but for now she accepted it, hesitantly. I gestured with my body for her to explore, to take her time... I had all the time in the world. She wsted no time and disappeared around on of the labrynthian piles.

I exhales fully, a sweat trickled down my spine and sat like a sheen on my forhead, was this fear, was this lust...was this betrayal, or just passion again punching its way to the forefront.

My reverie was broken by an excited babble from my visitor. I wiped my brow and went to investigate.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Laurie

I wanted to tell him that he was wrong. That, by keeping the pictures here, he was stagnating his talent. That the vitality would be improved by people viewing them. But, by the expression on his face he wasn't about to listen so I dropped it and went exploring again.

There was a large collection of pictures stacked against the wall around many more stacks and, leafing through them, I found a painting of a small farmhouse with a large tree and a swing.

On the swing was a boy, sitting there looking lonely and alone. My heart went out to that small boy and I shook my head and wondered who it might be.

Then there was a picture of a beatiful woman behind it. It was breathtaking. She had a sparkle to her eyes and a generous smile and a life that lept from the painting, making her portrait seem vital and alive.

"Oh, my!" I exclaimed outloud,"Who is this? She is beautiful. You have captured her very vitality."

 

[Shimmerotica]

Gabe

"That is Alexana, fourteen months after finishing chemotherapy for breast cancer, a strong, courageous woman. Beautiful, wife, mother and professional flute player." I said remebering how deep this woman had been, " Her oldest daughter is almost an exact replica of her mother...Alexana died four months after that painting." I could tell that my cheerful smile unnerved Laurie a bit. "Do not mistake, I am terribly sad that she has lost her struggle, I smile and the fight she put up, and the quality children she left behind."

I again shooshed Laurie and she reluctantly pushed on, deeper into the catacombs of canvas, graphite, wood and stone.

"It feels as if you know them doesn't it?" I asked following several paces behind.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Laurie

I laughed at his question. "Of coures it feels as if I know them. You are a great artist and you manage to capture not only the image but the spirit of each and every one of them. I am sure they were all pleased with the paintings. If I had one of them, I would not let you keep it in this warehouse out of everyone's views, I would insist on putting it on a wall with just the right lighting where it belongs. Where everyone can see it."

Flashing him a grin, I dug into the next batch of paintings, my eyes scanning them, the beauty and essence contained in them.

 

[Shimmerotica]

Gabe

I was surprised at her little laugh it was like a little angelic choir in my ears, cliche, I know. Her answer, was as scripted as it could have been but I found myself a little defensive and flustered for some unknown reason.

"I only ask that question because the very few people who have seen these have all said that they 'knew' these people"

I needed to change this vein of conversation again.

"Would you like to see my work from some vineyards in France?" I asked, hoping she didn't notice the rather large collection of nudes that were just behind her.

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Laurie

I looked over at him with a suspicious look. He was changing the subject again. But then I shrugged. I wasn't going to demand answers he wasn't ready to give yet.

"Of course," I said with a smile and turned to look for them. As I turned around, my eyes caught sight of, not landscapes, but more pictures of people. And they weren't wearing clothes.

My breath caught and I moved to them, looking at the first one and then moving to the next one behind it, then the next.

They were exquisite. And, the thing was, he didn't camaflouge the imperfections. Instead he individualized them and made them add to the char.

"Oh my!" Was all I could say at first. "These are...breathtaking..."

 

[Shimmerotica]

Gabe

I blushed furiously, like a schoolboy caught with his hands down his pants.
"Ahh, yeah. These are naked...uh people..."

I felt like an idiot.

She began flipping through them, slowly and deliberately as if toying with me. I watched her glance at naked breasts, bums, penises, faces....

I started admiring her again, the way she was dressed, a sort of dressy casual, sexy without knowing it.

I would love to paint her clothed, or naked, I could tell by the tone and texture of her skin that she would look ravishing with little on.

She lingered on the naked scenes, and I was getting comfortable-er with it.

"So would you like to model for me?" then I realized what I was implying with her looking at the nudes,

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Laurie

I looked up, startled, at his question. I could feel the blush creeping up my neck. It wasn't that I was looking at the nude portraits when he asked, it was more that I couldn't picture myself as a model at all. Clothed or naked.

"Ohhh," I said, then turned my attention back to the paintings so that he couldn't see the uncertainty in my face. "I...I don't think I would be a good subject. All of these are so beautiful. And, I know I'm pretty but..." I shook my head. "But not classic beautiful like all of these people."