The Art of Seduction

[Lovepotion69]

I've been thinking about seduction lately. What does it really entail to seduce someone? Are there differences in the ways a man seduces a woman and opposite? Have you seduced anyone? Been seduced? In what way?

/LP

 

[LadyJeanne]

Very interesting question.

I'd say, man or woman, if you want to seduce someone, you need to start with a little confidence in yourself and your, um, charms. You need to get their attention, make a lot of eye contact and smile. That opens the door.

After that?




I generally don't try to seduce guys, I think. They seduce me? Sure. With lots of positive attention.

 

[Guest]

I've been thinking about seduction lately. What does it really entail to seduce someone? Are there differences in the ways a man seduces a woman and opposite? Have you seduced anyone? Been seduced? In what way?

/LP

Eye contact.

Confidence.

Attention.

And knowing, while his hand is on my butt and he's biting my neck, that he really does care about my pleasure as well as his own.

 

[oOScarletWingsOo]

Equation

Seduction does require a level of resistance from one party.

I can't remember the last time I've been seduced, or even if I have been seduced((invitation going out to anyone who would like to remind me or show me how it's done ::laughing:)

I would say that seduction is different for men and woman (as most things are). I think to seduce a man a woman uses her body mostly, everything is external. I think to seduce a woman a man uses his mind by getting into hers, everything is internal. Really kinda mirrors the genitalia when I think about it. Each person and situation is different of course, but I think this is the basis.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Women's seductions are too subtle. I've had occasion to talk to a couple women who'd tried to seduce me in the past, and I have to admit that whatever they were doing went right by me.

Of course I was younger then. But I still have to be told--invariably by another woman--when someone's coming on to me. I'm incredibly dense.

 

[Guest]

Women's seductions are too subtle. I've had occasion to talk to a couple women who'd tried to seduce me in the past, and I have to admit that whatever they were doing went right by me.

Of course I was younger then. But I still have to be told--invariably by another woman--when someone's coming on to me. I'm incredibly dense.

I find that remarkably sweet.

 

[Belegon]

I can be dense about it too Doc...but I can instantly spot whena woman is interested in one of my friends...I just think it is that ability to be an impartial observer. And I must admit I have become much better at telling who is interested in me with age and experience...

 

[velvetpie]

But I still have to be told--invariably by another woman--when someone's coming on to me. I'm incredibly dense.

Don't feel bad. Most dudes are dense. That's why we are the more subtle of the species. You should really pay attention to us!

 

[English Lady]

*smiling*

I don't think I've ever been secduced in real life,nope. I've been seduced online, and it's fun -I love the pull and play of it, giving a little, pulling back a bit, then giving a bit more. I an seduce too, or at least try too. it doesn't always work, but it's fun trying.

When all you have is words, it's a different kettle of fish than when you have body language, touch etc to work with too. I still find it hard to tell when I'm being oggled (My hubby often points it out) so I'd probably completely miss seduction too. Though I think that if the seduction technique is so subtle that the seductee hasn't a clue, then you've got to work out a better game plan*L*

 

[rgraham666]

Like most guys, I'm extraordinarily dense at that sort of thing.

Don't think it's a guy thing though, just lack of experience and the fact that the part of my brain that interprets social cues is dyslexic.

I've known guys who were quite extraordinary seducers. They were also rather psychopathic. Seduction was a game they played and the women were the prizes in it. Didn't like any of them at all.

Known women of the same ilk, with the same observations.

 

[Liar]

I've known guys who were quite extraordinary seducers. They were also rather psychopathic. Seduction was a game they played and the women were the prizes in it. Didn't like any of them at all.

I have to agree. Most guys (and girls for that matter) I know who play the seduction game well also see it as that - a game, with a prize to win. I understand the appeal of being secuced. It's a strong affirmation of your own qualities if someone pursues you although you are initially rejecting them. But is it honest? Will the image the seductor paints of himself last?

 

[entitled]

Guess that means i have psychopathic tendencies. Hehe!

It's not about the proverbial notch in the belt for me, though. It's more about the ego boost caused when somebody else is doing the seducing, or about the sense of power that comes with trying to seduce somebody else. Especially if it's working. Then the give and take comes into play, and it turns into a game of sorts.

Either that or i'm a psychopath. Take your pick.

Oh, and Belegon? Nice ass. Can i borrow?

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I have to agree. Most guys (and girls for that matter) I know who play the seduction game well also see it as that - a game, with a prize to win. I understand the appeal of being secuced. It's a strong affirmation of your own qualities if someone pursues you although you are initially rejecting them. But is it honest? Will the image the seductor paints of himself last?

"Seduction" has the connotation of some greasy weasel twirling his moustache and wiggling his eyebrows in his bachelor pad--the idea of forcing someone to do what they might not want to do, as in "seduced and abandoned", but I think that's only part of it. That's aggressive seduction. (Anyone ever see Christopher Walken as "The Continental" on Saturday Night Live?)

There's also a passive version, where "seduction" is more like an invitation. That seems to be how most female seduction works: the nice clothes or button left casually undone; the body language and self-grooming, simple eye contact, touching, all those signals that say she's interested and available.

Women who are really good at it use a kind of seductive jiu jitsu: they seduce you into seducing them without your even knowing it. To me, that's true seductive genius. They can play a man like a fish on a line, reeling him in and then letting him go, till finally it seems to him like it was his idea to jump into the net in the first place.

 

[entitled]

"Seductuon" has the connotation of some greasy weasel twirling his moustache and wiggling his eyebrows in his bachelor pad--the idea of forcing someone to do what they might not want to do, as in "seduced and abandoned", but I think that's only part of it. That's aggressive seduction. (Anyone ever see Christopher Walken as "The Continental" on Saturday Night Live?)

There's also a passive version, where "seduction" is more like an invitation. That seems to be how most female seduction works: the nice clothes or button left casually undone; the body language and self-grooming, simple eye contact, touching, all those signals that say she's interested and available.

IMO that's the difference between a man seducing and a woman seducing. Men have a tendency to be more aggressive and women to be more subtle. Horrible stereotyping, but it's true.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

IMO that's the difference between a man seducing and a woman seducing. Men have a tendency to be more aggressive and women to be more subtle. Horrible stereotyping, but it's true.

Not so horrible. If men had designed the world, women would all walk around in spike heels and fishnets with mattresses strapped to their backs. Seduction would consist of the man finding a flat place to lay the mattress down.

It's women's natural sense of caution and social complexity and nuance that makes sex sexy. What's the sexiest part of sex? Is it insertion? Or is it the games and emotional negotations that go on before that, the lovers exchanging subtle hints and signals about how they feel, the development of that emotional bond?

Someone once said that the climax of a porn story for a man comes with the actual physical climax, but for a woman, the dramatic climax comes when the female character finally acquiesces to have sex. The details of the act that follows are anti-climactic once the emotional committment is made.

 

[Liar]

IMO that's the difference between a man seducing and a woman seducing. Men have a tendency to be more aggressive and women to be more subtle. Horrible stereotyping, but it's true.

Here comes some more horrible stereotyping then...

Could this be because that's the strategy that works on the target audience? Men that respond easily, but needs to think they are in control even though they are the seductees. Women that respond slower and expect the men to work hard to get the bounty.

How does it for instance work (stereotypically) between two women? Can a woman subtly lead another woman around by the...eh...balls?

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I don't often seduce guys, it's usually more a question of me encouraging them by not getting offended by their suggestions...

The most powerful seduction I've ever experienced was when a guy with a really strong personality locked his eyes with mine, and stated, like he was declaring a war: "I am going to make love to you tonight."

 

[scheherazade_79]

I'm crap at picking up on it when I'm being seduced, but I have a good success rate as far as seducing is concerned. I've never really analysed it before, but eye-contact, asking them questions about themselves and making them laugh usually works.

 

[Belegon]

I agree that it can be like a game...and I'll admit to playing it that way in certain situations...but the game can get you in trouble, especially when it stumbles into a real emotional commitment of some sort. I'm not saying don't play, that would be hypocritical to the extreme.

But remember that you just might have something unexpected happen too...love is a very mysterious thing.

 

[minsue]

Can a woman subtly lead another woman around by the...eh...balls?

Oh, yeah.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Differences between seduction and flirting

Can a distinction also be made between seduction and flirting? I would think that seduction is flirting that ends in some kind of intimacy where as flirting maintiains at least some distance.

I am a great flirt, enjoy making a woman feel good about herself, love seeing that half blush smile. But I never slept with just strangers. Was it seduction or flirting?

 

[sweetnpetite]

seduction is just another word for *convincing*

It's a very personal thing- you have to seduce *that person* not the gender in general.

First rule is focus- you want to put total focus on that person. Like Paris Hilten (I know, many people hate her- not the point) you have to make that person feel like the hottest thing in the world. Make them feel special about themselves. (a simplified rule for men is 'smart women want to be made to feel beautiful, beautiful women want to be made to feel smart') building confindence in the other person is the best way to go.

Second rule- don't be afraid to come on strong, but don't hurry. Take your time, think of it as a sales pitch, where you let the customer know *everything* that you have to offer.

Third rule- you have to take into consideration the person's individual needs and resistances. There strenghts and weeknesses. John might be lured by a lot of cleavage while Sean might be lured by a heady scent. You're *convincing* so elimate any objections one by one. (your married... she'll never have to know [for example, people. don't jump down my throat please] you have to be to work early... you work to hard, take a personal day)

seduction leaves no question... seduction doesn't take no for an answer (but stops short of rape)... seduction is all about closing the deal by any means neccessary.

there's no one way to seduce anyone. It has to be taylored to the person you are seducing. (romance I feel is the same way)

 

[sweetnpetite]

Not so horrible. If men had designed the world, women would all walk around in spike heels and fishnets with mattresses strapped to their backs. Seduction would consist of the man finding a flat place to lay the mattress down.

It's women's natural sense of caution and social complexity and nuance that makes sex sexy. What's the sexiest part of sex? Is it insertion? Or is it the games and emotional negotations that go on before that, the lovers exchanging subtle hints and signals about how they feel, the development of that emotional bond?

Someone once said that the climax of a porn story for a man comes with the actual physical climax, but for a woman, the dramatic climax comes when the female character finally acquiesces to have sex. The details of the act that follows are anti-climactic once the emotional committment is made.

No wonder your stories are so good.

 

[Lust Engine]

Sometimes just the ability to listen when someone wants to talk can be very seductive. It's more about paying attention to someone- making them feel as though they mean something.

Damn...seduction can be fun.

 

[matriarch]

Oh, yeah.

Oh?? *one eyebrow raised *