The ants are marching . . .

[Guest]

The ants arrived in the mail today.

Three tubes. About sixty or so of the little fuckers. Sealing the tubes was a yellow tag that said: Caution: Ants Can Bite: Do Not Open Until You Have Read Directions Carefully.

Each ant is more than 1/2 an inch long. Directions include putting ants into refrigerator for fifteen minutes to "slow them down" before opening the tube cap and dumping them into the Ant Farm our daughter got for Christmas.

You have to order the ants separately after you buy the Ant Farm. It took 'em three months to send them even though I was secretly hoping they'd never arrive. (Something about waiting to ship them until the temperature was above freezing???)

There are three large rectangular "living" areas filled with pebbles, water, food, and tunnels. The rectangles are connected by miles of clear tubing - the highway system.

And ants. Everywhere. Busy, busy ants.

It's creeping me out.

 

[SlickTony]

What on earth possessed you to order something like that?

 

[Just_John1]

And somewhere

God is sitting up there saying... everywhere, these scurrying humans, everywhere... It creeps me out...

JJ1

 

[Guest]

What on earth possessed you to order something like that?

My kids love it. They spent hours today watching the ants crawl and move pebbles and do creepy little ant things.

My daughter is into science - telescope, microscope, etc. The ant farm seemed - harmless?

I honestly did not expect the thing to be so damn skin-crawly creepy.

Maybe she can take it to school for show and tell and leave it there!

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Ants sound awesome at this point.

My brother-in-law bought my 2 year old daughter a kid's drum kit for Christmas. It has lights around the bass drum that flare off when she stomps on the foot pedal, two snares and a cymbal. It also has a headset that plugs into it so she can Karaoke to her drumming.

Trade ya' the drum kit for the ant farm. I'll even send the massive box of Aspirin I bought at Sam's Wholesale the other day to cope with the excessive noise it produces.

~lucky

 

[Guest]

LOL!

Something tells me I should keep the ants!

 

[minsue]

Ants sound awesome at this point.

My brother-in-law bought my 2 year old daughter a kid's drum kit for Christmas. It has lights around the bass drum that flare off when she stomps on the foot pedal, two snares and a cymbal. It also has a headset that plugs into it so she can Karaoke to her drumming.

Trade ya' the drum kit for the ant farm. I'll even send the massive box of Aspirin I bought at Sam's Wholesale the other day to cope with the excessive noise it produces.

~lucky

I was so upset when my brother bought drums for his kids. I was planning on doing that just to piss him off, dammit!

- Mindy, who loves being an aunt without children of her own

 

[lucky-E-leven]

I was so upset when my brother bought drums for his kids. I was planning on doing that just to piss him off, dammit!

- Mindy, who loves being an aunt without children of her own

I love that she has them and it's a blast to watch her do her Muppet's Animal impression. Spiky hair, head banging and wild drumming can't be beat. Especially when she's in a diaper and nothing else.

But he lives to buy annoying toys. Only fun thing is, I'm saving them all and going to regift them with eternal life batteries for when he and his wife finally have kids.

What goes around comes around.

~lucky

 

[SlickTony]

Maybe she can take it to school for show and tell and leave it there!

Sounds like a plan!

 

[Boxlicker101]

I was so upset when my brother bought drums for his kids. I was planning on doing that just to piss him off, dammit!

- Mindy, who loves being an aunt without children of her own

Hi, Mindy. It's even more fun being a grandparent without having any children, like I am. You may never be that but eventually you will be a great aunt.

 

[kellycummings]

Re: And somewhere

God is sitting up there saying... everywhere, these scurrying humans, everywhere... It creeps me out...

JJ1

I've always thought that.

On the thread issue, I've always wanted an ant farm but never bothered to get one. My oldest son would absolutely love it but I'm afraid he would just set them free.

 

[minsue]

Hi, Mindy. It's even more fun being a grandparent without having any children, like I am. You may never be that but eventually you will be a great aunt.

I've got 12 nieces & nephews (so far). By the time they all start having kids I'm going to need a spreadsheet to keep everyone straight. I'm already threatening my husband with flash cards seeing as how 9 of the 12 are on his side & he can never remember all of their names.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Ants are cool, but the best thing you can get a child is...

SEA MONKEYS

~lucky

 

[kellycummings]

Ants are cool, but the best thing you can get a child is...

SEA MONKEYS

~lucky

I remember when I was really little, my big brother got those. Off the back of a comic book no less.

 

[Boxlicker101]

I've got 12 nieces & nephews (so far). By the time they all start having kids I'm going to need a spreadsheet to keep everyone straight. I'm already threatening my husband with flash cards seeing as how 9 of the 12 are on his side & he can never remember all of their names.

By the time you have so many grand nieces and nephews you have a hard time keeping track of them you won't be expected to. People will just say things like "Poor Aunt Mindy, old and senile".

I have nine niecews between my two brothers and all of them have kids. I don't see them very often and I don't even try to keep them too straight. My wife has seven on this side of the ocean and only one of them has a son. Lord knows how many there are on the other side, but most of them don't have kids yet.

I was just ogling your new AV. Has Angela seen it yet? She started a thread about how Tatelou looks in her AV's.

 

[minsue]

By the time you have so many grand nieces and nephews you have a hard time keeping track of them you won't be expected to. People will just say things like "Poor Aunt Mindy, old and senile".

I have nine niecews between my two brothers and all of them have kids. I don't see them very often and I don't even try to keep them too straight. My wife has seven on this side of the ocean and only one of them has a son. Lord knows how many there are on the other side, but most of them don't have kids yet.

I was just ogling your new AV. Has Angela seen it yet? She started a thread about how Tatelou looks in her AV's.

LOL Don't know if Angela's seen it or not. It is a bit, um, distracting, isn't it? I prefer Loulou's, though. There's much more beauty in hers. This one is just a nice ass whereas Lou's smile shines through on her AVs.

 

[damppanties]

Ants sound awesome at this point.

My brother-in-law bought my 2 year old daughter a kid's drum kit for Christmas. It has lights around the bass drum that flare off when she stomps on the foot pedal, two snares and a cymbal. It also has a headset that plugs into it so she can Karaoke to her drumming.

Trade ya' the drum kit for the ant farm. I'll even send the massive box of Aspirin I bought at Sam's Wholesale the other day to cope with the excessive noise it produces.

~lucky

Nothing, I swear, NOTHING is more irritating than those guns which have a piercing siren sort of a noise. When the trigger is pressed, it just goes on and on and on and onnnn......

My four year old cousin's favourite pastime nowadays is to run around the place with that gun sounding off for minutes at a time. Sets my teeth on edge.

Aren't toy guns supposed to go off with a soft 'ping' or something? Or a 'bam' maybe, if stretched too far. Have you ever heard of real guns with siren sounds? Urgh!

 

[dr_mabeuse]

My brother-in-law bought my 2 year old daughter a kid's drum kit for Christmas. It has lights around the bass drum that flare off when she stomps on the foot pedal, two snares and a cymbal. It also has a headset that plugs into it so she can Karaoke to her drumming.

*L* It's payback time! This is a well-known ploy engaged in by siblings, in-laws, uncles, aunts and grandparents to get back at people who have children: getting someone else's kids the loudest and most annoying toys possible. You may think it's just an innocent mistake that they bought your kid a drum set, but believe me, they probably knew exactly what they were doing. Sounds like you might have a war on your hands.

I would suggest finding one of those e-pets that burp, fart, wheeze and wheedle with you to feed and play with them. They go off at all times of the day and night and are near impossible to turn off.

---dr.M.

 

[cookiejar]

When we were young my brother had a connecting ant farm, it took up one wall of his bedroom. It was a great learning experience, they are incredibly hard working little guys. He had it well over 4 years and we mourned each ant loss, even had little ant funerals. We were weird kids...what can I say?

 

[minsue]

When we were young my brother had a connecting ant farm, it took up one wall of his bedroom. It was a great learning experience, they are incredibly hard working little guys. He had it well over 4 years and we mourned each ant loss, even had little ant funerals. We were weird kids...what can I say?

I'm picturing the little ant coffins.

 

[cookiejar]

I'm picturing the little ant coffins.

LOL...they actually bury their dead so my brother just said a short eulogy. Actually he is thinking of becoming a minister so this was good practice.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

*L* It's payback time! This is a well-known ploy engaged in by siblings, in-laws, uncles, aunts and grandparents to get back at people who have children: getting someone else's kids the loudest and most annoying toys possible. You may think it's just an innocent mistake that they bought your kid a drum set, but believe me, they probably knew exactly what they were doing. Sounds like you might have a war on your hands.

I would suggest finding one of those e-pets that burp, fart, wheeze and wheedle with you to feed and play with them. They go off at all times of the day and night and are near impossible to turn off.

---dr.M.

You're absolutely right, Doc. He makes no bones about giving the most annoying gift possible. I'd bitch him out, but it would't do any good. This is also the same guy that bought his mom a remote control finger machine...picture a closed fist on a base that sits on your desk and whenever you press the button on the remote control, the middle finger goes up. The same Christmas he bought his father a remote control fart machine, that brings the old man immeasurable joy. I received a framed picture of a five hundred pound woman in a bikini. Whenever I know he's coming over, I replace the pretty flower picture in the guest bathroom with the bikini clad and he always comments on how helpful she is whilst answering nature's call.

I'm afraid the only way to fight this fire is with fire itself. I actually have a working list of all the annoying things he's gifted so far and will be sure to repay the favor when he and his wife finally have children. So you and Dampy suggest irritatingly noisy toy guns and perpetually sounding off e-pets? Wonder what else I can find to repay his kindness.

~lucky

I haven't seen those e-pets but they sound fantastic.

 

[Guest]

I'm picturing the little ant coffins.

I am so blue these days but this cheered me up for a minute. Only you, Min, only you. Now I am constructing a little ant cemetary in my mind.

My brother once gave my too-young son a goldfish. I killed it, accidently, within the week.

Perdita

 

[minsue]

I am so blue these days but this cheered me up for a minute. Only you, Min, only you. Now I am constructing a little ant cemetary in my mind.

My brother once gave my too-young son a goldfish. I killed it, accidently, within the week.

Perdita

Don't forget the little ant benches and little ant fountains scattered tastefully throughout.

I went through goldfish like a madwoman as a kid. Poor things. I spilled my seamonkeys, too, all over my desk.

for the loverly lady 'Dita.

- Mindy

 

[Sabledrake]

Gee, just last week we bug-bomed our kitchen to get _rid_ of the ants ... there's a message here, but I think I'm missing it!

My grandfather bought me a drum kit for Christmas one year. My mother, no slouch, quickly said that since we didn't have room for it at home, I could leave it here at their house and play with it every time we came over.

He retaliated later that summer by giving me a kitten and insisting that we take that one home.

Sabledrake