The AH Reality Show House

[3113]

Talking about reality shows has made me feel that I might have missed out on something. So I'd like to create the AH reality show house where we can all be in a reality show...of sorts. Obviously, there won't be anyone tossed out or winning a bachelor/ette (unless someone wants to volunteer?), but I think we can experience all the other stuff that contestants get on such shows.

Don't forget to mention your personal thoughts on your own personal webcam in between dramatic events. I'll start:

[3113 Cam]So, I get to the house and it's this incredible mansion! Hot tub and everything. I immediately go looking for my room. Of course, all the guys have claimed the room with Vana...I don't know if they just can't deal with reality, or if they're being really smart, 'cause all the girls are going to be coming to visit her and those guys'll get a good show. Anyway, I'm a little disappointed that I have to share a room with six others, but I find this bed I like...then I find out that Shereads has claimed two beds, and one of them is the one I want![/3113cam]

3113: You can't claim two beds! You can only have one!
Shereads: I need two. I've got a condition!
3113: I don't care if you've got a brain tumor, bitch! You don't get two beds!
Shereads: Listen you, skanky whore--
3113: You #$%@ bitch! How dare you call me that! (sob!) You-you don't k-know me! I've had to work so-so hard for everything I've ever wanted....
Shereads: Hey, hey, I'm sorry. I'm kinda on edge. My boyfriend called me from jail and I miss him already--
3113: I-I've got an ex-boyfriend on death row. I know how that can be. Friends?
Shereads: yeah.

[3113cam]So, I took a different bed. I don't know if Shereads and I will be close or anything, but we've got an understanding of sorts....[/3113cam]

 

[jomar]

I hope the producers stocked the cabinets with booze. I'm sure a lot of someones will get plenty thirsty.

 

[Nirvanadragones]

[VanaCam] *stuffing a piece of chocolate in my mouth and chewing viciously* It's been 7 hours, 9 minutes and 3 seconds without my laptop, cellphone and iPod. So far I've managed to cope, but it won't be easy. *chews more chocolate and swallows hard* I can do this. *rips the wrappers of another bar of chocolate* I am not a gadget Queen!! *devours the chocolate almost whole* All I have to do is focus on my spiritual self and all shall be well. * looks longingly at the chocolate wrappers discarded around her*

I've bunked with the guys, because they get more chocolate. *nods* Smart move, if I've ever seen one. One can never have enough chocolate in this type of environment.

Ok, time to brush my teeth and look pretty!! Diva will be arriving soon and I have to look my best. *blushes* [VanaCam]

 

[Recidiva]

[VanaCam] Diva will be arriving soon and I have to look my best. *blushes* [VanaCam]

[DivaCam]Dammit, I don't watch Reality TV. Is this thing on?[DivaCam]

 

[neonlyte]

Pure: Yo, Roxy. How are you doing?
Roxanne: I'm just...
Pure: You're leaving?
Roxanne: No, no, no not yet. On this thread thingy...
Pure: Yeah, I told that to the man.
Roxanne: Are you planning to say that here or not?
Pure: If you want me to.
Roxanne: Well, it's just that if the discussion arises...
Pure: I just want some movement.
Roxanne: Yeah.
Pure: Yesterday we didn't see much movement..
Roxanne: No, no, it may be that it's not, it may be that it's impossible.
Pure: I am prepared to say it.
Roxanne: But it's just I think that we need to be in opposition...
Pure: Who is introducing the thread?
Roxanne: Amicus
Pure: Tell him to hit hard.
Roxanne: Yes
Pure: Tell him to put her on, them on the spot. Thanks for the sweater - it's awfully thoughtful of you.
Roxanne: It's a pleasure.
Pure: I know you picked it out yourself.
Roxanne: Oh absolutely - in fact I knitted it!!!
(Laughter)
Pure: Is this...? [Pure taps the microphone in front of him and the sound is cut.]

With apology to the President of the United States and the former Prime Minister of UK.

 

[cloudy]

[CloudyCam]Shereads and 3113 are fighting over a damn bed, for fucks sake! *laughter* I think I'm gonna try to steal some of Vana's chocolate[/CloudyCam]

Vana: Cloudy, damn it!

*laughter and running through the house*

 

[Guest]

[FemCam] I want fucked! Where are the dykes ?? Or the Bi's?? OR the straight chicks that don't know any better ............... [FemCam]

fem: cloudy, lemme show you what this button does. i'm demonstrating on vana

*gets bitch slapped by abs*

 

[Recidiva]

[Divacam]Dammit. My manager screwed me. Totally screwed me. This was supposed to be a singing gig.[Divacam]

 

[ABSTRUSE]

[FemCam] I want fucked! Where are the dykes ?? Or the Bi's?? OR the straight chicks that don't know any better ............... [FemCam]

fem: cloudy, lemme show you what this button does. i'm demonstrating on vana

*gets bitch slapped by abs*

I'll slap you back into birth.

 

[3113]

[3113cam]So Vana's got Fem in her bed and those two are putting on shows every friggin' night for the guys. Which means there's no chocolate for the rest of us because the stupid guys keep giving them chocolate as a way of paying them for the show! So Cloudy and I are plotting ways to steal some of that chocolate if we can....I haven't seen much of Diva, and Jomar keeps raiding the liquor cabinet, probably because Vana and Fem are going at it every night. Anyway, last night, Jomar went a little overboard...[/3113cam]

3113: Damn it, Jomar! That was the last bottle of Jack Daniels!
Jomar (Fully clothed, in the hot tub): Can't you see I'm takin' a bath? Stupid bitch--
3113: Who are you calling a bitch you drunk asshole!
Jomar: Look, I'm washing m' clothes, too!

[3113cam]I have never seen anyone so drunk in my life, and there Jomar is, dogpaddling around in the hot tub still wearing this outfit from that Japanese dinner we all had...[3113cam]

[flashback dinner]
Jomar: Those spicy tuna rolls are mine! And the sea urchin. And the eel. I love me some sushi [/flashback]

[3113cam] So I'm trying to get Jomar out of the hot tub, but I'm not being listened to--[/3113cam]

3113: You've got to come out of there.
Jomar: Nope. Can't make me, stupid #%$@.
3113: I'm going to get Abs and she'll kick your ass all over this house.
Jomar: !%# Abs! Know what I think of Abs? Show you--

[3113cam] Now the night before, Vana got everyone in the hot tub to take off their bathing suits--[/3113cam]

[Flashback last night: hot tub]
Everyone: Off with the suit, Vana! Off with the suit!
Vana: I'm not getting naked alone.
Fem: Okay, we'll all take them off![/flashback]

[3113cam]And everyone's discarded bathing suits are there on the edge of the hot tub and Jomar finds Abs suit and...well....[/3113cam]

Jomar: rowfffff!
3113: OH MY GAWD!

[3113cam]It was disgusting. All that sushi. I sure don't want to be around when Abs finds her bathing suit.[/3113cam]

 

[cloudy]

[CloudyCam] *whispers* 3113 and I are planning to find out where Vana's hid all the chocolate. I also stole the bottle of Syrup of Ipecac out of the medicine cabinet in case jomar gets out of hand. *flashes bottle from under shirt* [/CloudyCam]

Cloudy: Jomar, get the fuck out of the damn tub before you fall asleep in there, and drown
Jomar (lunging for 3113's ankle): c'mere you.....gimme a kish
Cloudy: oh, god, he's trashed. TEX! Come drag his ass to bed! Throw him in there with Vana and Fem, and maybe we can all get a little sleep!

Cloudy: I'm not cleaning that. *walks away*

 

[Recidiva]

[Divacam]No signal. No signal means no manager. I need a room. Where's my room? Dammit.[Divacam]

 

[jomar]

Jomar: Dang, I thought it was pretty smart of us to give Vana and Fem chocolate to to keep them in bed. They seemed to enjoy it.

Are you guys really that pissed? I seem to recall getting a lot of hostility about it - I told the dudes not to hoard the chocolate.

Anyway, with all the flack I tried to stay quiet, but guess I accidently overserved myself....hey, wait a minute...I remember 3113 keeping my glass full all night. Topping it off with liquor. 3!!!

3113: *looks away sheepishly*

Jomar: I'm usually a happy drunk, but...dunno, it's fuzzy. I need some aspirin. Hey, what's that next to the hot tub?

 

[Nirvanadragones]

[Vanacam]I wanna go home now! I miss my silk sheets and my yoga classes!! Not all the chocolate in the world can keep me here right now. And Fem's becoming too needy. She's taken a crash course called Submissive 101 and this Gentle Domme's had enough! *rolls eyes* My inner - switch wants to play! And my hair is a mess and someone stole my favourite shampoo. *cries* [Vanacam]

 

[scheherazade_79]

[Zadecam] But of course, what viewers all over the world are now starting to wonder is... what is Zade growing in the greenhouse?

I might be the first housemate to escape, actually. I don't like being confined, and I sometimes get psychological constipation when I stay in new places. There's also nothing to do here except socialise... Do you think people would notice if I escaped and then came back?

 

[neonlyte]

[willcam]Got to shut off the feed folks. Haven't done any laundry for a week and I've nothing to wear[/willcam]

NB: I did have wild notions, when I had my patisserie, of doing 'the naked baker' on live feed, just wearing an apron while I prepared the bread and cakes.

 

[Guest]

[Femcam]
she thinks i'm a sub now. just because she got to me. labels never really applied to me before. i know everyone says that but its true for me. yup. hate them labels.

i'm gonna go roll over and play dead.

too many dykes in this house. think i'm gonna go shack up with cloudy and steal her chocolate


[Femcam]

 

[Recidiva]

[Divacam]I've got peanut butter.[Divacam]

 

[Guest]

*steals diva's peanut butter and hides it under the bed in the sex toy chest where it belongs*

 

[Recidiva]

[Divacam]I hate this house. I don't have any peanut butter any more. It was right here. I demand chocolate in recompense.[Divacam]

 

[scheherazade_79]

[Femcam]
she thinks i'm a sub now. just because she got to me. labels never really applied to me before. i know everyone says that but its true for me. yup. hate them labels.

i'm gonna go roll over and play dead.

too many dykes in this house. think i'm gonna go shack up with cloudy and steal her chocolate


[Femcam]

[zadecam] I've just found Fem on the floor outside, surrounded by chocolate... If she's dead, it's one hell of a way to go

I'm going to try mouth-to-mouth resuscitation anyway...

If I'm not back for a while, you'll probably guess why.

 

[3113]

[3113 & Cloudy Under Vana's bed]
3113: Hurry, we're gonna get caught!
Cloudy: They're all trying to recessitate Fem. I think I see the suitcase of chocolate.... ew! What have they been doing under here?

[3113cam]Cloudy's half under the bed, complaining. And I'm keeping watch. And of course all the guys and all the girls are with "Vana." The sex here's for shit! The guys are doing nothing but watching the dykes, and the dykes are all being drama queens about whose on top and whose on the bottom. This sucks! [/3113cam]

[Under Vana's bed]
Cloudy: Got it. (Grabs suitcase; 3113 & Cloudy sneak out)

[3113cam]We get the suitcase and we take it into the bathroom to open it. We think it's chocolate but....[/3113cam]

[Cloudy flips open the suitcase]
3113: Oh my friggin' GAWD!
Cloudy: Jez-us! (reaches in)
3113: Don't touch that! Don't---

[3113cam]The suitcase is full of dildos! And Cloudy, the stupid bitch, can't help herself. She goes right after the big glass one![/3113cam]

3113: Don't--
*CRACK*
Cloudy: shit!

[3113cam] Yep. She broke it.[/3113cam]

 

[Nirvanadragones]

[Vanacam] I'm such a fucking slut. Apparantly. I wonder what they'd think if they knew I was really a virgin. That's why I always make sure I have more than one woman with me. So they can do each other. . . *raises eyebrow* I'm a sneaky bitch. And they'll never know. *evil laugh* [Vanacam]

 

[Recidiva]

[Divacam]I'm making dinner. If there isn't fresh rosemary and cilantro, I'm going to break out.[Divacam]

 

[cloudy]

[CloudyCam] I've always wanted one of those damn things. Fuck me for being such a damn klutz. Ten stitches and a hospital visit. How the fuck am I supposed to relax in the pool with this? *shows hand* [/CloudyCam]

(at the hospital)
Doctor, talking as he stitches: there were several different colors of glass in here. How did this happen?
3113: Well...
Cloudy: Don't you dare!

[CloudyCam] Bitch told on me. It was funny, though. *grin* [/CloudyCam]