The 2000 Literotica Awards

[HSWriter]

Well, it has been one hell of a year for Literotica... just looking back, since I became a member in October of '99, the site has grown by leaps and bounds... My congratulations to Laurel and Manu on the success of this site.. there are no two finer individuals in the business.. Now, if I have calculated things right, it seems about time for the annual Literotica Awards.. I was a definite part of the 1999 Awards, and if Laurel and Manu are willing, I would like to take a key role in the organizing and executing of the 2nd Annual Awards. Over the past year, many great erotic authors have emerged on this site, just as this site has emerged as the finest site on the net for erotic literature. We must now recognize the fine people which make up this great community of story-tellers and readers.. so, if I am granted the endorsement of Laurel and Manu, I would like to take on this responsibility... So, now I would like to hear what anyone out there has to say.. thanks

HSWriter

 

[JHolley67]

Without further ado....

Okay, here's what I have to say, HS.

Pick me.

 

[Laurel]

HSWriter, where ya been baby? Welcome Back! Literotica has certainly grown a lot since the last time I saw you peek your head in here. All the credit goes to the authors who publish their stories, poems, and pictures here as well as the crazy BB regulars and, of course, the readers. All we do is try our best to keep this party bus on the road!

Manu and I totally appreciate all your work on last year's Awards, and think you'd be the perfect person to help with this year's event. I will email you the details and we'll put this in motion!

 

[SpecialK]

My how the time flies!

It's been a year already?! Wow! It seems like it was just a few months ago when we were voting on the winners for last year. And I still don't have over 500 posts!

Can I be nominated for the "Slowest to Reach 1000 Posts" award?

Good luck to all the authors, etc!

K

 

[JHolley67]

My consolation prize....

Hey, Laurel.

I would like to be nominated for "Longest time between submission and posting."

I'm laughing, here. I know you guys are backed up. In fact, I'm sure I've mentioned it a lot. Please don't bump me off the board.

No! Laurel, please! I was just kidding, please I

 

[Whispersecret]

I had some thoughts about the 2000 Awards.

In looking over last year's categories, and I thought of a few new ones you could consider.

Sexiest Female Character
Sexiest Male Character
Most Improved Author (Don't know about this one. Could be taken the wrong way by the nominees.)
Most exotic/creative/unusual setting
Most creative handling of a well-used "plot" (i.e. sharing a wife in the XXX theater, poolside sunscreen rubbing leads to sex, etc.)
M.V.E. (Most Valuable Editor) according to the authors.

Are you only considering submissions from this past calendar year, or are the "old" stories eligible as well?

It might help voters if you included a link to the particular author/story on the ballot, or in the nomination. If on the nomination, you might want to include some simple instructions on how to do that, for those nominators who are unfamiliar with that.

For those more specific categories from last year, like best dialogue or euphemism, how kosher is it for an author to nominate something of their own? Only the most avid fan would know a story well enough to be able to remember a certain quote...

 

[Whispersecret]

Oh! Coupla (hundred) more category suggestion:

Best Historic Story
Most Realistic Story
Most UNrealistic Story
Most Uplifting Story
Most Depressing Story
The Character You Love to Hate
Funniest Story
The Character You'd Like to Fuck Most
Scariest Story
The "I Gotta Have a Sequel!" Story



[Edited by whispersecret on 12-18-2000 at 12:35 AM]

 

[JHolley67]

How about...

Most original setting.
Most original position.
Most original situation/plot/storyline.
Most partners in one scene, although I'm sort of blowing my own horn on that one.

Wait a minute. Is that physically possible?


Jason

 

[Whispersecret]

Gee, JHolley, I thought we had some good ideas.

I guess he was so busy posting all those nomination threads that he didn't have time to reply to us.

<leans her head on J's shoulder> Wanna console each other?

 

[Ezzy]

How do we get...

An Audio category included this year seeing as we have audio this year. OOOOps I suppose that there are those without soundcards or speakers or headphones so we better scrap the IDEA.

It doesn't look like BSWriter needs any ideas adding.



EZ http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/s/cwm2/sleep.gif

 

[Becca Btr N Btr]

My post to HSWriter below was written with a lot of anger. Only a small amount of that anger ended up having anything to do with HSWriter. I was angry with HSWriter, but he did not deserve the post I wrote. I am sorry HSWriter. My point could have been made in a much better way, possibly one you may have even cared about if I had given you the chance. I could explain where all my anger came from, but it wouldn’t make the original post anymore deserved nor would it help repair what I said. I was wrong.

With all this in mind, I would like to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a New Year. May yours be safe from venting very angry people.

Sincerely, Debbs AKA Becca



Original Post Below

I have this to say about HSWrighter.... Had I been given a vote, it would most certainly not gone to you. I don't care for your cocky know it all bullshit attitudes, and above all the rest style. You are in my words an asshole...and that is all. Laurel you may take this for whatever you want. I think it is unfair and wrong to just accept him on his wishes and not see if anyone else would like to have the job. I am so tired of blow it up your ass jerks such as HSWrighter.... And I bet I am not the only one! So with that...I would wish you a Merry Christmas if I really felt those sentiments.... But as I do not!

Fuck YOU HS!

[Edited by Becca Btr N Btr on 12-25-2000 at 08:18 PM]

 

[JHolley67]

Holy Shit!

Whoa! That was intense. Personally, I'm glad HSWriter got the job. He obviously has a good relationship with Laurel and Manu and, as he has been an active, productive, CONSTRUCTIVE member of this board, I believe he deserves all this hard work heaped on his shoulders.

Seeing as Becca Bitter and Bitter has(have?) a sincere desire to be put to work, maybe Laurel and Manu can find a little something that he/she/it can help out with.

Like finding out how many identities Patryn really has.


Hmm....


Jason

 

[Alexander Croiux]

well becca now I am definetely going to check out hswriters stuff...

and your own.

alexander croiux

 

[Becca Btr N Btr]

JHolley67... you may want to read that again, or better yet read this!

JHolley67...

1. No where in my post did I say anything about having a desire to be put to work, only that I think that others should have been allowed the chance to have the job if they so desired.

2. My name is Becca Btr n Btr which stands for Becca Better and Better, but your creative wit was very impressive.

3. You can find out in members more about me or anyone you don’t know if you are so inclined. By doing so you do not have to resort to unknowns such as he/she/it. FYI I am "she" in your choices given. I might have said it was again impressive creative wit from you, but being a P.I. you would certainly have more experience in knowing if there are “its” around than I would being a stay at home mom and wife.

4. I have no interest in finding out how many identities Patryn really has. If you care so much here is an idea, ask Patryn. Personally I think you should just mind your own business.

5. You must have read the last sentence on the thread started here by HSWriter. He asked to hear what anyone out there has to say. I respect that you gave your opinion, although it was more so aimed at implying I don’t have the qualities that HSWriter has than really an opinion about him. I simply did as he asked and gave him my answer. The reason why would be between he and I, and had nothing to do with you. I did not ask to hear what anyone out there, such as you, has to say. I thank you however for your impressions on a post you have no knowledge, or understanding of what so ever.

6. Feel free to read anything else I have posted. I am guessing here but I think you may find me to be a more “active, productive, CONSTRUCTIVE member of this board” than you assumed from this post alone. That choice however, I will leave up to you.

7. I am not a writer, and as of now I have not written anything in the way of a story for others to read. I simply post where it is interesting or is something I care about.

8. In the light of a new day, or as in my case now, the light from the moon; I do agree with you that “Whoa! That was intense.” My post to HSWriter was written with a lot of anger, and only a small amount had anything to do with HSWriter. I am angry with HSWriter, but he did not deserve the post I gave him. I am sorry HS, not for what I said, but the way in which I said it. My point could have been made in a much better way, possibly one you may have even cared about if I had given you the chance. I could explain where all my anger came from, but it wouldn’t make my post anymore deserved nor would it help repair what I said already, and so I will sum it up as the proverbial ”The Shit Hit The Fan!”

With all this in mind, I would like to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a New Year safe from venting very angry people.

Sincerely, Debbs AKA Becca

 

[JHolley67]

Re: JHolley67... you may want to read that again, or better yet read this!

JHolley67...

1. No where in my post did I say anything about having a desire to be put to work, only that I think that others should have been allowed the chance to have the job if they so desired.

How very interesting that no one that DID want the job had anything to say on the subject.

2. My name is Becca Btr n Btr which stands for Becca Better and Better, but your creative wit was very impressive.

Why, thank you very much. I worked really hard on that one.

3. You can find out in members more about me or anyone you don’t know if you are so inclined. By doing so you do not have to resort to unknowns such as he/she/it. FYI I am "she" in your choices given. I might have said it was again impressive creative wit from you, but being a P.I. you would certainly have more experience in knowing if there are “its” around than I would being a stay at home mom and wife.

You're breaking my heart. I used the ambiguity to emphasize how unimportant I felt your post was. And I know a lot of stay at home moms that don't seem to suffer from the victim state of mind.

4. I have no interest in finding out how many identities Patryn really has. If you care so much here is an idea, ask Patryn. Personally I think you should just mind your own business.

Talk about calling the kettle black....

5. You must have read the last sentence on the thread started here by HSWriter. He asked to hear what anyone out there has to say. I respect that you gave your opinion, although it was more so aimed at implying I don’t have the qualities that HSWriter has than really an opinion about him. I simply did as he asked and gave him my answer. The reason why would be between he and I, and had nothing to do with you. I did not ask to hear what anyone out there, such as you, has to say. I thank you however for your impressions on a post you have no knowledge, or understanding of what so ever.

Um, that should be "him and me" not "he and I." Also, whatsoever is one word. Moreover (also one word), I was supporting HSWriter's new position and, although he didn't ask, I was defending him. Yeah, yeah. Mind my own business. We covered that.

6. Feel free to read anything else I have posted. I am guessing here but I think you may find me to be a more “active, productive, CONSTRUCTIVE member of this board” than you assumed from this post alone. That choice however, I will leave up to you.

Sorry, Becca, darling, but what I have read so far didn't particularly impress me. I doubt I'll be actively seeking anything more.

7. I am not a writer, and as of now I have not written anything in the way of a story for others to read. I simply post where it is interesting or is something I care about.

"A critic is a being with no innate talent of its own and therefore feels qualified to judge the work of others." -Lazarus Long

8. In the light of a new day, or as in my case now, the light from the moon; I do agree with you that “Whoa! That was intense.” My post to HSWriter was written with a lot of anger, and only a small amount had anything to do with HSWriter. I am angry with HSWriter, but he did not deserve the post I gave him. I am sorry HS, not for what I said, but the way in which I said it. My point could have been made in a much better way, possibly one you may have even cared about if I had given you the chance. I could explain where all my anger came from, but it wouldn’t make my post anymore deserved nor would it help repair what I said already, and so I will sum it up as the proverbial ”The Shit Hit The Fan!”

I'm sincerely sorry you were angry. It showed. And I was angry when I posted my reply. I was angry because every FUCKING TIME I TURN AROUND someone is flaming. A little stress management might be in order for both of us. HSWriter didn't deserve ANY of the screaming you did, as far as I can tell. You were yelling at him for getting a job you didn't even want. I reacted instinctively and, for that, I am sorry also. There's just too much negativity going on on the boards these days. Everyone supposedly in the Holiday Spirit is just irritating the shit out of me.

And now that we've both vented, what say we bury the hatchet and have some egg nog and Mydol? I'll buy.

Jason

 

[Andra_Jenny]

Jason, Darling!

You really dislike women don't you.

 

[JadedHeart]

Re: Jason, Darling!

You really dislike women don't you.

I can assure you he loves women, and quite well actually. It's malicious shrews he has a problem with.

 

[Guest]

I Shot JR!!!

Heeheehee. They should repeat this strand every year. Actually, if we could bring in some infidelity, blackmail and alien abduction we might be able to sell the idea on to one of the bigger networks.

 

[Whispersecret]

Jason, I'll take that as a no. <sighs>

 

[Jupiter]

Re: Re: JHolley67... you may want to read that again, or better yet read this!

2. My name is Becca Btr n Btr which stands for Becca Better and Better, but your creative wit was very impressive.

Why, thank you very much. I worked really hard on that one.

You're breaking my heart. I used the ambiguity to emphasize how unimportant I felt your post was. And I know a lot of stay at home moms that don't seem to suffer from the victim state of mind.

Um, that should be "him and me" not "he and I." Also, whatsoever is one word. Moreover (also one word), I was supporting HSWriter's new position and, although he didn't ask, I was defending him. Yeah, yeah. Mind my own business. We covered that.

Sorry, Becca, darling, but what I have read so far didn't particularly impress me. I doubt I'll be actively seeking anything more.

7. I am not a writer, and as of now I have not written anything in the way of a story for others to read. I simply post where it is interesting or is something I care about.

"A critic is a being with no innate talent of its own and therefore feels qualified to judge the work of others." -Lazarus Long

8. In the light of a new day, or as in my case now, the light from the moon; I do agree with you that “Whoa! That was intense.” My post to HSWriter was written with a lot of anger, and only a small amount had anything to do with HSWriter. I am angry with HSWriter, but he did not deserve the post I gave him. I am sorry HS, not for what I said, but the way in which I said it. My point could have been made in a much better way, possibly one you may have even cared about if I had given you the chance. I could explain where all my anger came from, but it wouldn’t make my post anymore deserved nor would it help repair what I said already, and so I will sum it up as the proverbial ”The Shit Hit The Fan!”

I'm sincerely sorry you were angry. It showed. And I was angry when I posted my reply. I was angry because every FUCKING TIME I TURN AROUND someone is flaming. A little stress management might be in order for both of us. HSWriter didn't deserve ANY of the screaming you did, as far as I can tell. You were yelling at him for getting a job you didn't even want. I reacted instinctively and, for that, I am sorry also. There's just too much negativity going on on the boards these days. Everyone supposedly in the Holiday Spirit is just irritating the shit out of me.

Well that was a wonderful critique Jason, and you did so well not to flame. NOT.

JHolierThanThou67

[Edited by Jupiter on 12-25-2000 at 05:11 PM]

 

[Becca Btr N Btr]

Re: JHolley67

Dear Pot,

"A critic is a being with no innate talent of its own and therefore feels qualified to judge the work of others." -Lazarus Long


Talk about calling the kettle black....


The Kettle AKA Becca

 

[Ezzy]

Hey Jason...

I would like to thank you for a perfect quote about critics you have obviously worked long and hard as one.

The Lazarus Long quotes fall think and fast from the pen of such a great author IMHO; Robert A Heinlein wrote so well didn’t he?

Perhaps you could read “The unpleasant profession of J Hoagg” (sp) by the same author.

"Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards." Lazarus Long.

See how those LL quotes impinge on ones mind and then they fall readily to hand.


EZ http://cwm.ragesofsanity.com/s/cwm2/sleep.gif

[Edited by Ezzy on 12-26-2000 at 04:09 PM]

 

[JHolley67]

Up to a respectable level....

Now that's more like it. Let's get this slam-fest rolling! Jupiter, I assure you that I was not intending to flame. And if you look carefully, you'll notice I apologized to Becca for overreacting. But I couldn't resist poking a little fun. I love when someone comes along, spouting righteousness and can't even spell. I may be blamed for starting a lot of shit around here (and that really doesn't bother me) but one thing you'll never hear me accused of is poor spelling, grammar and mechanics.

Laughing yet?

Ezzy, there are a lot of hard lessons to be learned out there. Heinlein's "Lazarus Long" series taught me a few of them.
"Never handicap your children by making their lives easy."

"Money is a powerful aphrodisiac, but flowers work almost as well."

"You can get more with a kind word and a gun, than with a kind word alone." - Al Capone, 1935

"If you don't stop, you could go blind." -My Mother, 1980

"It's all just fun and games until someone gets an eye put out." - My Dad, 1977

Okay, how about now? Laughing? No?

I love women. As often as possible, actually. And I assure you, I treat women much better than you might see here. Isn't that right, Jade?

Okay, here's the punchline.

This thread is for nominations for the 2000 awards. And yet again, it's been flamed. Now aren't we all proud of ourselves.

I know I'm laughing.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Such hypocrasy from the self-professed instigator. Your behavior is as suspect as the behavior of those you are purposely agitating. Becca apologized for her own behavior to HS, why isn't that the end of it? Because you, and I quote, "Like to start shit." I would say welcome back Patryn, but she was never so crass as you.

In my own personal opinion, you are an irritant and an instigator. You pit board memebers against others or yourself for the purpose of arguing. You start shit. By your own definition of yourself, you are a troll and you do nothing that isn't inflammatory. By your own definition of yourself.

There is a saying, "Clean the plank out of thine own eye before before cleaning the dust mote out of thy neighbors." I'm sure we all know where that came from. Look to your own self before you look to others.

Interestingly enough, this thread was about the Literotica 2000 awards until it was hijacked by, oh my, this Holley person. Welcome back Ramlick.

 

[HSWriter]

I think some people may be missing the point....

I know that some people have been nominating on the BB for the Literotica Awards, and I thank you. But some of you think that this is something that brings me personal gain. Many of you think that I am promoting the awards so that my stories can be nominated and win. Well, let me set this straight, this isnt about me. Just as last year, I will probably not win, even though I was nominated. I think that the Literotica Awards need to be taken seriously, there are a lot of good writers on this site and they need to be recognized for their talent. Another issue that was brought up by Laurel was the excessive discussion on the nomintions board. I have solved this by setting up a specific thread for discussions and comments on the awards, so go ahead and say what you like in there and I will here you out, just as I expect you to hear me out...


Thanks