Thats so gay !

[sexy-girl]

how does the gay community feel about this

its very common for kids in schools use the word gay as an insult or to say something is bad


is it a product of how our society accepts homophobia ?


does it create a environment where homophobia can develop ?


does it make a difficult environment for young gays to accept themselves as gay and/or come out ?


or is it just meaningless kids stuff ?


what if anything should parents/adults/teachers do about it ?

 

[oujray]

words, words, words

lordy, this one really depends--i have good, non-homophobic friends that use this expression--they don't mean at all to demean me or my sexuality. words only have the power they're given.
on the other hand, i do believe that language shapes the way that people see the world, so perhaps this has some sort of subtle effect(in this context) or reflects an unconscious homophobia--i'm not sure.

 

[Queersetti]

I don't think that most people who use it mean it to be homophobic, but I do think it has a subtly pernicious effect.

To most kids who use it, it's like "Dutch treat" or "Welsh on a bet", the original derogatory meaning doesn't really come to mind. But to gay youth who hear the expression used lightly, I'm sure it can be very painful.

Personally, I would discourage anyone from using it if I could, but I don't see it as a symptom of homophobia when it is used.

 

[glamorilla]

Saying that is so gay is so not gay.

 

[Rhys]

Hey! I resemble that remark...

 

[Sillyman]

I use the term gay negatively to criticize something as being weak, or poorly planned out. I don't mean prejudice by it. I just find it very useful for that specific criticism.

 

[Queersetti]

I use the term gay negatively to criticize something as being weak, or poorly planned out. I don't mean prejudice by it. I just find it very useful for that specific criticism.

I don't consider myself to be either weak or a poor planner.

 

[Pookie]

I don't consider myself to be either weak or a poor planner.

I consider you to be keenly alive and exuberant, and brilliant in color.

 

[Pookie]

I've always believed it's the intent behind the words we use that matters. Some words carry unfortunate connotations. I try to look at the intent of what people are saying.

 

[sexy-girl]

i wasn't saying that people who use the word are homophobic (although some are but most don't think of it in that sense) but if the reason why the word can be used as a negetive insult has anything to do with how homophobia is accepted


when you think about its pretty recent that gay has gone from meaning happy to meaning homosexual to meaning an insult/negetive remark


and part of the reason its become this negetive rermark is because for some people one of the most insulting things you can accuse them of is being gay


nobody has said really if they see it as a problem ? at very least i feel it creates a horrid environment for someone finding out they are homosexual ... but i also think it helps start homophobia in some young kids and if adults fail to correct them maybe they feel its acceptable

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I think some people use it and mean it to represent homosexuality, and for some it is just a figure of speech. I mean, I'm an Atheist, and I still say "goddammit" and "Sweet crispy chocolate-covered Christ on a stick", and I don't believe in either of those fictional characters. I understand the problem with it, though.

 

[Pookie]

i wasn't saying that people who use the word are homophobic (although some are but most don't think of it in that sense) but if the reason why the word can be used as a negetive insult has anything to do with how homophobia is accepted

when you think about its pretty recent that gay has gone from meaning happy to meaning homosexual to meaning an insult/negetive remark

and part of the reason its become this negetive rermark is because for some people one of the most insulting things you can accuse them of is being gay

nobody has said really if they see it as a problem ? at very least i feel it creates a horrid environment for someone finding out they are homosexual ... but i also think it helps start homophobia in some young kids and if adults fail to correct them maybe they feel its acceptable

I prefer that the word "gay" not be used in a negative context. It's meaning is far from one. It's a poor choice of words to use in a negative context, given it's most recognized definitions. But there's no way to control that. So I always try to look for the intent behind the words. It's up to parents/guardians to teach children how to respect others. Unfortunately, many don't.

 

[Queersetti]

i wasn't saying that people who use the word are homophobic (although some are but most don't think of it in that sense) but if the reason why the word can be used as a negetive insult has anything to do with how homophobia is accepted


when you think about its pretty recent that gay has gone from meaning happy to meaning homosexual to meaning an insult/negetive remark


and part of the reason its become this negetive rermark is because for some people one of the most insulting things you can accuse them of is being gay


nobody has said really if they see it as a problem ? at very least i feel it creates a horrid environment for someone finding out they are homosexual ... but i also think it helps start homophobia in some young kids and if adults fail to correct them maybe they feel its acceptable

I do think it's hurtful to gay youth, I said that in my post.

And I agree with you that adults who allow their children to use it in that manner are behaving irresponsibly. The children may not be practicing homophobia by using what is to them just another slang term, but adults ought to know better.

 

[Queersetti]

I think some people use it and mean it to represent homosexuality, and for some it is just a figure of speech. I mean, I'm an Atheist, and I still say "goddammit" and "Sweet crispy chocolate-covered Christ on a stick", and I don't believe in either of those fictional characters. I understand the problem with it, though.

Technically, I don't think even the most devoted Christians believe Jesus was ever covered in chocolate.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Technically, I don't think even the most devoted Christians believe Jesus was ever covered in chocolate.

I wouldn't know...

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I do think it's hurtful to gay youth, I said that in my post.

And I agree with you that adults who allow their children to use it in that manner are behaving irresponsibly. The children may not be practicing homophobia by using what is to them just another slang term, but adults ought to know better.

Yeah, I gotta admit, adults should know better...maybe it is because homosexuals aren't a recognized group in way that makes it easier to identify them, or identify with them? I mean, you couldn't as easily get away with saying "that's so black", could you?

 

[Queersetti]

I wouldn't know...

I suspect you were confusing him with the Easter Bunny.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I suspect you were confusing him with the Easter Bunny.

Makes sense...same time frame, same holiday, both of them are displayed on a stick...

 

[Queersetti]

Yeah, I gotta admit, adults should know better...maybe it is because homosexuals aren't a recognized group in way that makes it easier to identify them, or identify with them? I mean, you couldn't as easily get away with saying "that's so black", could you?

I don't know if it's a lack of identification or of recognition that using the term can be hurtful.

 

[Sillyman]

Partially there is a basis of misunderstanding about the term. "Gay" was frequently used when I was a small child in a way that was contextually identical to "retarded". Now I don't think this was a matter of of hatred towards homosexuals. We were all first graders or younger, and didn't have much concept of homosexuality, or even much of a concept of sex besides that it involved nudity and nobody was supposed to ever talk about it.

So some kid hears a parent use the word in it's "correct" form when disparaging a homosexual. The kid has no idea what's going on, but he can tell it has a negative connotation, so he infers what it means from context, and then spreads it to his friends casually like a virus. Soon all the kids have been using gay to describe things and people in a non sexual way for as long as they can remember, and when they do find out what is really meant by it, the damage is already done.

 

[Sillyman]

I don't consider myself to be either weak or a poor planner.

I didn't say you were.

 

[Queersetti]

I didn't say you were.

So that means I'm not so gay?

 

[sexy-girl]

thanks for the replies on this thread ... i know its not a cut and dry subject as its so common among kids and its hard to say that all/most kids are doing something wrong


but i do think its a fact that there is a strong underlined homophobia in most kids for whatever reason a lot of them do know what gay is when they are saying it

at least while i was at school especially among the boys one of the worst things they could call each other was being gay ... well actually maybe saying something bad about their parents was worse ... usually that they were gay


but i must admit even when they say those things its probably not that they hate gays (at least not all of the kids do) ... its just some sort of ignorance homophobic thing ... but sometimes it lasts strongly into adult life and becomes more of a hatred thing i think

 

[deliciously_naughty]

how does the gay community feel about this
its very common for kids in schools use the word gay as an insult or to say something is bad
is it a product of how our society accepts homophobia ?
does it create a environment where homophobia can develop ?
does it make a difficult environment for young gays to accept themselves as gay and/or come out ?
or is it just meaningless kids stuff ?
what if anything should parents/adults/teachers do about it ?

Just to contextualize...I'm an elementary school teacher and I hear this too often

How do they learn it or think it's ok? Their parents and peers teach it to them as well as teaching them that it's ok. Of course it's a product of how our society accepts homophobia, and it continues to breed it.

Of course it makes it more difficult for kids to come out. When their lifestyle is constantly held up as the definition of being wrong or different.

As a teacher I come down hard on any use of "gay/lesbian/homo/etc". I tell them that it is totally unacceptable to use that word. They often don't know what it means beyond their parents using it in a derogatory way. I explain that I have plenty of gay friends and that it hurts me deeply to hear my students using those terms. I always write them up for it. I also tell the individual that when people use those terms as adults it qualifies as a hate crime.

This may seem extreme...but it also ensures that I never hear it more than twice in a year.

No, I'm not out at school...although I'm out in all other aspects of my life...I don't really feel the need to share with the public at large...although some of my colleagues know (those i'm close with)

 

[MzChrista]

Saying that is so gay is so not gay.

saying that is so gay is so straight.