BrainyBeauty
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2000
- Posts
- 653
No, it ain't what ya think!
Somebody said last night that if they saw one more election thread they would take hostages. So everyone be careful today. I accept no responsibility. I just wanted to make this a funny election thread. Oh wait, it already is a funny election!
You know this will not be the last election thread. But I promise to get all my pent-up comments out in this one post. **takes in really deep breath**** and lets loose.....
First...in my best whiny, 5 yr old voice from the back seat... "Are we there yet? Do we have a president yet?"
If not, then I have a great idea for T-shirts and these are perfect right now since it applies to both- doesn't really matter which one 'wins'!
"I voted in Palm Beach County and all I got was this lousy President!"
Think those will sell??
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now a song for Dubya:
(sung to the tune of "What a Wonderful World" by Sam Cooke)
Don't know much about history
Don't know much foreign policy
Don't remember how I got through school
I'm sure I didn't break the rules.
But what's it matter 'cause my mama says
"Boy, if you want to you can be the prez
And what a wonderful world this will be".
Don't know much about the women's vote
Don't know much about the bill I wrote
Don't know much about the foreign vets
I've never voted for 'em yet.
But I do know if your dad tries hard
He can get you in the National Guard
And what a wonderful place that can be.
Now I never claimed to be an A student
But what's wrong with gentleman's C's?
And maybe by knowing the names of my cabinet
I can win their love for me.
Don't know much about air pollution
Don't know much about the constitution
Don't know much about th'economy
It never much affected me.
But there's one thing that I know for sure
If the rich stay rich and the poor stay poor
What a wonderful world this will be.
Don't know much about the national debt
I've never had to pay one yet
If we need to we can sell the States
To the Japanese at discount rates.
But I do know that if things get bad
Dick and I can always call my dad
And what a wonderful world this will be!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Since it will probably be Christmas before we know for sure who is the next prez, here is a little ditty sung to the tune of that old classic 12 Days of Christmas....
On the 1st day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
A Gore and Bush in Tallahassee
On the 2nd day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
2 Party lawyers
...and a Gore and Bush in Tallahassee!
On the 3rd day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
3 Counties counting
2 Party lawyers
...and a Gore and Bush in Tallahassee!
On the 4th day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
4 Ballot counters
3 Counties counting
2 Party lawyers
...and a Gore and Bush in Tallahassee!
On the 5th day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
5 Pregnant chads
4 Ballot counters
3 Counties counting
2 Party lawyers
...and a Gore and Bush in Tallahassee!
On the 6th day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
6 Absentees
5 Pregnant chads
4 Ballot counters
3 Counties counting
2 Party lawyers
...and a Gore and Bush in Tallahassee!
On the 7th day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
7 State Supremes
6 Absentees
5 Pregnant chads
4 Ballot counters
3 Counties counting
2 Party lawyers
...and a Gore and Bush in Tallahassee!
On the 8th day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
8 Palm Beach lawsuits
7 State Supremes
6 Absentees
5 Pregnant chads
4 Ballot counters
3 Counties counting
2 Party lawyers
...and a Gore and Bush in Tallahassee!
On the 9th day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
9 Broward voters
8 Palm Beach lawsuits
7 State Supremes
6 Absentees
5 Pregnant chads
4 Ballot counters
3 Counties counting
2 Party lawyers
...and a Gore and Bush in Tallahassee!
On the 10th day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
10 Dade's just starting
9 Broward voters
8 Palm Beach lawsuits
7 State Supremes
6 Absentees
5 Pregnant chads
4 Ballot counters
3 Counties counting
2 Party lawyers
...and a Gore and Bush in Tallahassee!
On the 11th day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
11 Ballots missing
10 Dade's just starting
9 Broward voters
8 Palm Beach lawsuits
7 State Supremes
6 Absentees
5 Pregnant chads
4 Ballot counters
3 Counties counting
2 Party lawyers
...and a Gore and Bush in Tallahassee!
On the 12th day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
12 Newsmen waiting
11 Ballots missing
10 Dade's just starting
9 Broward voters
8 Palm Beach lawsuits
7 State Supremes
6 Absentees
5 Pregnant chads
4 Ballot counters
3 Counties counting
2 Party lawyers...and a Gore and Bush in Tallahassee!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Florida State Motto
FLORIDA: If you think we can't vote, wait till you see us drive.
FLORIDA: Home of electile dysfunction.
FLORIDA: We count more than you do.
FLORIDA: If you don't like the way we count then take I-95 and visit
one of the other 56 states.
FLORIDA: We've been Gored by the bull of politics and we're Bushed.
FLORIDA: Relax, Retire, ReVote.
FLORIDA: What comes after 17,311?
FLORIDA: Where your vote counts and counts and counts.
FLORIDA: This is what you get for taking Elian away from us.
FLORIDA: We're number one! Wait! Recount!
Palm Beach County: We put the "duh" in Florida.
Sign on I-95 : Florida this way, no that way, 5 miles, wait 10 miles
Somebody said last night that if they saw one more election thread they would take hostages. So everyone be careful today. I accept no responsibility. I just wanted to make this a funny election thread. Oh wait, it already is a funny election!
You know this will not be the last election thread. But I promise to get all my pent-up comments out in this one post. **takes in really deep breath**** and lets loose.....
First...in my best whiny, 5 yr old voice from the back seat... "Are we there yet? Do we have a president yet?"
If not, then I have a great idea for T-shirts and these are perfect right now since it applies to both- doesn't really matter which one 'wins'!
"I voted in Palm Beach County and all I got was this lousy President!"
Think those will sell??
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now a song for Dubya:
(sung to the tune of "What a Wonderful World" by Sam Cooke)
Don't know much about history
Don't know much foreign policy
Don't remember how I got through school
I'm sure I didn't break the rules.
But what's it matter 'cause my mama says
"Boy, if you want to you can be the prez
And what a wonderful world this will be".
Don't know much about the women's vote
Don't know much about the bill I wrote
Don't know much about the foreign vets
I've never voted for 'em yet.
But I do know if your dad tries hard
He can get you in the National Guard
And what a wonderful place that can be.
Now I never claimed to be an A student
But what's wrong with gentleman's C's?
And maybe by knowing the names of my cabinet
I can win their love for me.
Don't know much about air pollution
Don't know much about the constitution
Don't know much about th'economy
It never much affected me.
But there's one thing that I know for sure
If the rich stay rich and the poor stay poor
What a wonderful world this will be.
Don't know much about the national debt
I've never had to pay one yet
If we need to we can sell the States
To the Japanese at discount rates.
But I do know that if things get bad
Dick and I can always call my dad
And what a wonderful world this will be!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Since it will probably be Christmas before we know for sure who is the next prez, here is a little ditty sung to the tune of that old classic 12 Days of Christmas....
On the 1st day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
A Gore and Bush in Tallahassee
On the 2nd day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
2 Party lawyers
...and a Gore and Bush in Tallahassee!
On the 3rd day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
3 Counties counting
2 Party lawyers
...and a Gore and Bush in Tallahassee!
On the 4th day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
4 Ballot counters
3 Counties counting
2 Party lawyers
...and a Gore and Bush in Tallahassee!
On the 5th day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
5 Pregnant chads
4 Ballot counters
3 Counties counting
2 Party lawyers
...and a Gore and Bush in Tallahassee!
On the 6th day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
6 Absentees
5 Pregnant chads
4 Ballot counters
3 Counties counting
2 Party lawyers
...and a Gore and Bush in Tallahassee!
On the 7th day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
7 State Supremes
6 Absentees
5 Pregnant chads
4 Ballot counters
3 Counties counting
2 Party lawyers
...and a Gore and Bush in Tallahassee!
On the 8th day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
8 Palm Beach lawsuits
7 State Supremes
6 Absentees
5 Pregnant chads
4 Ballot counters
3 Counties counting
2 Party lawyers
...and a Gore and Bush in Tallahassee!
On the 9th day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
9 Broward voters
8 Palm Beach lawsuits
7 State Supremes
6 Absentees
5 Pregnant chads
4 Ballot counters
3 Counties counting
2 Party lawyers
...and a Gore and Bush in Tallahassee!
On the 10th day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
10 Dade's just starting
9 Broward voters
8 Palm Beach lawsuits
7 State Supremes
6 Absentees
5 Pregnant chads
4 Ballot counters
3 Counties counting
2 Party lawyers
...and a Gore and Bush in Tallahassee!
On the 11th day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
11 Ballots missing
10 Dade's just starting
9 Broward voters
8 Palm Beach lawsuits
7 State Supremes
6 Absentees
5 Pregnant chads
4 Ballot counters
3 Counties counting
2 Party lawyers
...and a Gore and Bush in Tallahassee!
On the 12th day of This Mess
The election gave to me:
12 Newsmen waiting
11 Ballots missing
10 Dade's just starting
9 Broward voters
8 Palm Beach lawsuits
7 State Supremes
6 Absentees
5 Pregnant chads
4 Ballot counters
3 Counties counting
2 Party lawyers...and a Gore and Bush in Tallahassee!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Florida State Motto
FLORIDA: If you think we can't vote, wait till you see us drive.
FLORIDA: Home of electile dysfunction.
FLORIDA: We count more than you do.
FLORIDA: If you don't like the way we count then take I-95 and visit
one of the other 56 states.
FLORIDA: We've been Gored by the bull of politics and we're Bushed.
FLORIDA: Relax, Retire, ReVote.
FLORIDA: What comes after 17,311?
FLORIDA: Where your vote counts and counts and counts.
FLORIDA: This is what you get for taking Elian away from us.
FLORIDA: We're number one! Wait! Recount!
Palm Beach County: We put the "duh" in Florida.
Sign on I-95 : Florida this way, no that way, 5 miles, wait 10 miles
