Thank you Bob

[Debbie]

I loved your poem Bob. (See the thread Understanding) Kids are such a gift! We who have them are so lucky. I always remember looking into my youngest child's eyes when he was born and thinking. "I am such a lucky person to be able to guide this little being through this world."
(going off to watch my "baby" sleep)
Thank you Bob I feel inspired to write now, been a little sad the last few days.
Why am I sad? My youngest has been sick off and on now for about three years, with no certain diagnosis just test results that show elevated LFT's -liver function test- possibly due to rapid bone growth. He also has a low immune system and GP has now found blood and protein in his urine
He has quite a few symptoms:
dark circles under eyes
tired all the time
tingling in hands and feet
unrefreshing sleep
irritable
nightmares
very disturbed sleep
aching joints
he grows very fast
complains often of stomach ache
he eats a lot but doesn't put a lot of weight on because he is quite avtive

I don't know why I just wanted to share this. Sometimes I get so sad about it all. There is nothing more I can do other than what I am already doing.



Fatigue drives me

By Debbiexxx


I cannot sleep, and so instead I write
Things go wrong and I cannot fix quickly
I constantly weep, but no quick solution

But I am attacked by things I cannot bite
Germs with no respect for my great ability
I cannot forgive the bugs for their intrusion

I want to tell them get out right of my sight
Leave me alone and watch their futility
But on this sad, dire extreme occasion

There is nothing to be done, it’s all a fright
Out of my hands, control, completely
Instead I watch, naked against the invasion

Watching as my son’s body isn’t right
Knowing I am weak, I stand helplessly
Seeing him weaken in my eye’s vision

My son, I try again and with all my might
To fix your health, your strength, vitality
Making you better my life’s mission

Late, very late, well into the night
I find myself thinking, questioningly
Needing to find insight, intuition

Instead I find, constant nothing, despite
My best efforts, again I sleep shortly
Knowing your unstable condition

And yet each night, I think of your plight
Trying to achieve a new approach you see
I love you son, I wish I was a magician


I love you Thomas

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[Debbie]

Thank you Bratcat

 

[Bob Peale]

Debbie,

I'm glad something in my poem spoke to you, because thoughts like yours shouldn't be bottled up. Reading your post underscores how much we overcome collectively and individually.

My thoughts and hopes are with you, and please, keep writing. Sometimes words on paper show us a path we can't see quite as clearly inside our head.

 

[Debbie]

Thank you Bob. I want, need to write but when I sit at the computer I feel an overwhelming sadness instead of being able to write my stories. Instead, for now I have decided to write what is in my heart. Hoping that I can vent my sadness, pick up the pieces and continue to be strong. I am so glad that there are so many nice, kind people on Lit and surrounding me.
Your poem reminded my that amongst this uncertainty of my son's health that I am lucky to have him and that it is not cancer. I am being very pro active, finding out as much info I can on herbal remedies while I wait for test results and progress from GP.
Thank you for caring.