Testing The Waters

[KhaleesiCarrie]

I am in a loving lifetime relationship with my boyfriend. He and I are happy together. That said I am interested in women emotionally and physically and he supports that. We have discussed it and both feel it would be good for me to get to know women in a similar situation or are open to my situation. I think friendship is a lovely place to start and then go from there.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I will be honest and say that I can't really imagine exploring one's sexuality with another woman.. online. That's just me, maybe someone else will understand this of which you speak

My suggestions are that you be as honest as you can be, while remembering that there's no guarantee that your opposite number is also being honest.

Other then that..

I don't know, how can you taste a pussy, or feel of its silken sweetness, online? How can you relish the weight of a body, with all that lovely padding that folds down over you... online?

Here's hoping that, if this is what you want, you come to it in meat space and love it even more there.

 

[KhaleesiCarrie]

It Is a first step...

I am not willing to have sex or explore with just anyone. I'm not interested in rushing into something either. I want to know someone before I do anything physical with them. I do not think that is outrageous online or off.

 

[Seamen]

My boyfriend has given his blessing for me finding a female friend to play online with.

I don't think you need his blessing to do that.

 

[KhaleesiCarrie]

I don't think it is your business one way or another. I have found that with the exception of one person so far there are a ton of jerks on this forum.

 

[Safe_Bet]

I don't think it is your business one way or another. I have found that with the exception of one person so far there are a ton of jerks on this forum.

Who are you addressing this comment to?

(and yes, you're right, there ARE a lot of jerks in this forum).



P.S. I invite you to the Isle of Lesbos thread where you are welcome to me "non-judgmental" people and can get to know a few ladies who you can learn to be comfortable with.

 

[PressNightly]

I don't think you need his blessing to do that.

Actually if they're in a commited sexual relationship then it's actually very important for her to have his blessing before exploring that side of her sexuality.

Relationships are about respect and honesty, or are they no longer teaching that in relationships 101?


to the OP: Congrats on finding a guy who's secure enough in himself that he'll let you be who you are. I'm on the other side of the gender aisle but I recently got the go ahead from my wife to start figuring out where I lie on the sexuality slider.

My advice, take it slow (seems like you've already got the right idea), find someone you mesh well with and who you can trust, and then if everything feels right think about taking the next step.

Unless you're approaching average life expectancy, then you've got a long life ahead of you, explore safely to avoid any potholes.

Congrats and enjoy yourself!

 

[Krystal89]

My boyfriend has given his blessing for me finding a female friend to play online with. (If things go well someday maybe play in person.) And I am excited by this. I have always wanted to explore with another woman. But I am a bit nervous and not sure other women are in my boat. So... any advice?

My advice is just start poking around the sites until you start to get familiar with it. Then maybe Private message someone if you find someone you like. Do it on your own time in your own way. I have experienced another woman and it's awesome! Chat is great too. Good luck to you.

 

[Seamen]

Actually if they're in a commited sexual relationship then it's actually very important for her to have his blessing before exploring that side of her sexuality.

Now,

My boyfriend has given his blessing for me finding a female friend to play online with.

Ever been to a Yahoo! chatroom?

Relationships are about respect and honesty, or are they no longer teaching that in relationships 101?

It is estimated that 40% of all marriages have ended in divorce as of 2008.

I guess they don't.

 

[KhaleesiCarrie]

Thoughts

Stella_Omega: I never meant to have a lifelong relationship with a woman online or off. I wanted to come online and make a new friend who was open to getting to know me and perhaps going from there. Perhaps you misunderstood me. Or perhaps you are just being picky. Either way... I think you misunderstood and spoke a bit out of school.

Seamen: My boyfriend is the most important person in my life. I have made the choice and commitment to living my life with him. He is involved in every major choice that I make. It goes both ways. So, yes I do need his approval and blessing before doing anything major.

Who are you to judge me or be rude? I think you need to get a hobby and quit being such a troll.

Safe_Bet: I was speaking to Seamen. And thank you very much for your kindness.

PressNightly: Thank you for your kindness.

Krystal89: Thank you for the advice and the kindness. I have already met some nice people. Perhaps my post did not explain things well. Or perhaps only some people understood. Either way it has all worked out nicely.

 

[Stella_Omega]

So when you say "play" you mean... Parcheesi? Tennis?

Why would you come to a sex site for that?

 

[KhaleesiCarrie]

Stella_Omega not everyone has their hands down their pants each time they go to literotica. Some people just enjoy reading erotica and becomes excited or learning about their own sexuality. Sometimes someone just wants some intimacy.

I think it is rather rude to be so literal and rude to someone new. Perhaps someone treated you like crap when you were new. If so that is a real shame. But it does not give you an excuse to treat me like this. So, if you have nothing nice to say and only want to try to pick me apart I'd rather you just do something else. It is a waste of both of our time.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Well, KhaleesiCarrie, here's the thing: I don't matter.

But you know who does matter, is the woman you end up meeting. I must ask you to be very honest with her.

Women tend to invest a lot of emotional energy into anyone they... play ... with. Women tend to make love-- and then fall in love.

If your boyfriend is the most important person in your life, please, let your new friend know this, and never let her forget it. Never let her think that, maybe, she might be nearly as important, or that her love for you is enough to make you walk away from your hetero life.

Even lesbians who should know better can convince themselves that this straight woman will be telling her the truth when she says that sex is so much better with another woman, and the relationship is so much better, and be hurt and shocked when the woman leaves with a man after all.

Please, think about what you want, think about what you can offer, think about the ways in which another human being could misinterpret what you tell them. Try to do as little damage as possible, okay?

 

[KhaleesiCarrie]

I think it is unfair and rather rude to assume that I will hurt someone else or be so thoughtless with someone else's feelings. I am a caring person and I have no intentions of being anything but truthful. I am not a lesbian. I will never be married to another woman. I will marry my boyfriend and create a family. Friendship and possibly something a bit more is all I would have to offer a woman. And she would know this from the start.

I am sorry if someone from your past had a bad experience or you did. But I'm not like that and its not nice to imply that I am or assume that I am. I hope that someday you will not be so sensitive to someone's words and assume so many terrible things about them. Because you may just lose friends (non-sexual) that way.

 

[KhaleesiCarrie]

That was directed to Stella_Omega. I'm sorry for remembering to be more specific in my last post. But I was a bit upset.

 

[PressNightly]

Originally Posted by Wikipedia
It is estimated that 40% of all marriages have ended in divorce as of 2008.

I guess they don't.

And you don't see a causal relationship here?

Watching porn and reading lit, are not the same thing as having even a virtual online affair with a real interactive person. And no, I only visited a yahoo chat for the first time months after my wife gave me the green flag.

As soon as you start interacting with an actual person sexually, even if it's only through text on a discussion board you have taken that first step onto that slippery slope that leads down to infidelity.

 

[Stella_Omega]

... I am a caring person and I have no intentions of being anything but truthful. I am not a lesbian. I will never be married to another woman. I will marry my boyfriend and create a family. Friendship and possibly something a bit more is all I would have to offer a woman. And she would know this from the start.
...

Very glad to hear that your intentions are so honorable.

 

[Musickid]

KhaleesiCarrie... I am taking the time on this forum to ask to please relax. You're taking offense from people just asking questions and giving advice. If you ask for advice and thoughts on a forum, then expect to get answers.

I mean... if you can't handle people offering relatively friendly advice (no one EVER insulted you) online, I can't imagine how you deal with everyday life situations. If someone looks at you the wrong way, do you go over and start chewing them out? Do you actively try to find offense in anything anyone says? People can't walk on eggshells to appease one person's hypersensitivity.

People are just trying to help. Relax.

<3

 

[Safe_Bet]

KhaleesiCarrie... I am taking the time on this forum to ask to please relax. You're taking offense from people just asking questions and giving advice. If you ask for advice and thoughts on a forum, then expect to get answers.

I mean... if you can't handle people offering relatively friendly advice (no one EVER insulted you) online, I can't imagine how you deal with everyday life situations. If someone looks at you the wrong way, do you go over and start chewing them out? Do you actively try to find offense in anything anyone says? People can't walk on eggshells to appease one person's hypersensitivity.

People are just trying to help. Relax.

<3

Judgemental much????

(especially based upon your vast 1 post experience with the denizens of this forum???)

 

[KhaleesiCarrie]

Musickid: I asked for advice and not to have others assume I will hurt others, be untruthful and be picking apart mt character. There is a big difference between overreacting and defending yourself. I think perhaps you need to learn the difference.

 

[Seamen]

Who are you to judge me or be rude?

I wasn't. If I was, I'd mention that it would still be adultery whether or not consent was involved. But I didn't. I was merely implying that, in my opinion, you don't have to ask permission for exchanging messages with some anonymous person on the Internet. It's the same as watching pornography or enjoying erotica. You said yourself it was unlikely that you'd meet that person in person. It would be the same as talking to Eliza, for instance. It means nothing.

I understand that you may hold ideas that are entirely different from my own, and that such difference does not hold candor of a nature that is mutually exclusive of, or in contradiction to what I have stated above. You may imply that I was incorrect, but it was certainly not in my intention to be rude.

I would guess that you still have some feelings of guilt over your bisexuality, and that you're still divided over what it is that you are actually supposed to do about it, and to what extent. I might be wrong, of course.

I reserve the right to be a troll, however I plead the First Amendment, if you please.

 

[KhaleesiCarrie]

Seamen: You just -did- judge me in your statement. So, that point is moot now...don't you think? I did not come here to be attacked. No, actually there is no reason to feel guilt. At this point I am regretting ever coming here. Congratulations for being rude, judegemental, and inconsiderate of other people's feelings. I asked for constructive advice....not this.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Seamen: You just -did- judge me in your statement. So, that point is moot now...don't you think? I did not come here to be attacked. No, actually there is no reason to feel guilt. At this point I am regretting ever coming here. Congratulations for being rude, judegemental, and inconsiderate of other people's feelings. I asked for constructive advice....not this.

I think Seamen's last paragraph pretty much sums up his problem. Don't be surprised when he starts whining about man-troll abuse.

I wouldn't get too upset over Stella either. Even though we are not friends by any stretch of the imagination, I think she is simply trying to point out that even some light, well intended, open and honest flirting can be misunderstood. I'd say even more so by the LGBT community cuz when you spend your lives getting rejected by the str8 majority it is often easy to misinterpret things when somebody like yourself reaches out.

Matter of fact, I'd offer the flip side of that caution to YOU. Please don't take it badly if a lesbian rejects you out of hand BECAUSE you were honest about who you are. There are many lesbians, including myself, who have NO desire to have ANYTHING sexually to do with bi or bi curious chicks. That doesn't make either of us bad, wrong or rude. It simply means that I want nothing to do with cock even by proxie.

Good luck on your search, BTW.

 

[Seamen]

rude, judegemental, and inconsiderate of other people's feelings.

I think things have snowballed a bit here. I have no reason or authority to be judgmental about you. Not only that, even if I was, it wouldn't matter, because I am a nobody. Seamen's not even my real name (if you can believe it); in fact, I would like to point out that we sail in the same boat, though in different parts of the boat - you being preferential to the front, me riding in the back. I can assure you that I am in no position to judge you at all. I am really sorry if I in any way rubbed you the wrong way. I know I can be anal about things sometimes. I don't want to cause you any trouble.

I cum in peace

 

[Musickid]

Judgemental much????

(especially based upon your vast 1 post experience with the denizens of this forum???)

LOL. Well, if you have a problem with judgement then I am truly sorry. You see, I have found it very important in life to make judgements. Cognizant judgement is one of the few things that set us humans apart from the beasts and the birds. You judge people and things everyday, so don't try to pull some adorable "holier than thou." Your post itself judged me as being judgmental lololololol. Cute.

The "denizens" (nice fancy word there. props!) of this forum are no different than the rest of the citizens elsewhere. You also need to relax.

Both you AND the OP are intensely overreacting. I haven't insulted anybody. KhaleesiCarrie needs to avoid the internet at all costs if she thinks that ANYONE on this forum post has been rude. She obviously has never experienced true internet/forum flaming. XD By just the mere act of posting a question asking for people's advice, you're inviting judgement to be cast upon you.

I don't take my time to talk to you guys because I have nothing better to do, but rather, I feel people truly deserve to have a heads up for what the real world is like--at least from my perspective. If you're not interested, that's fine. Then just ignore me !