Ten Simple Rules

[SpectreT]

I try to live my life by.

Do I always succeed? Hell no. The point is, I keep trying and getting better at them.

1) "Know Thyself."
2) "To thine own self be true...."
3) Always challenge "conventional wisdom". There may be some truth in it, but if "Everyone knows" such-and-such, it's 80% hogwash.
4) Give more of yourself than you think you can.
5) Expect nothing of others.
6) Honesty, Dignity and Respect are more than entries in a dictionary. Treat others with these, no matter the circumstance, and your own life will seem more rewarding.
7) We learn not from our successes, but our failures. Don't fear making mistakes, and try to learn from everything you do, even teaching others.
8) In the eyes of others, we are our words and actions. Bear this in mind, and know that no matter your words and actions, you will be misunderstood, reviled and hated at least once in your life.
9) Trust in yourself, have faith in yourself, and you can never fall, no matter how you may falter.
10) Never assume anything.

There's my personal decalogue, what's yours?

 

[FurryFury]

Interesting and admirable rules, I put down some of mine in this thread.

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=410225

Fury

 

[ammre]

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well perserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting, 'Holy shit... What a ride!'"

I watched my dad die from the time i was born, so essentially, i'm all about living becasue i've seen it end. Living also dons'e thave to be overwhealming and lavish, it can be as much as the feeling of laying in the cool grass and the early autumn sun sets, like i'm doing right now. (thank you wireless)

 

[FurryFury]

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well perserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting, 'Holy shit... What a ride!'"

I watched my dad die from the time i was born, so essentially, i'm all about living becasue i've seen it end. Living also dons'e thave to be overwhealming and lavish, it can be as much as the feeling of laying in the cool grass and the early autumn sun sets, like i'm doing right now. (thank you wireless)

I absolutely agree that lessons learned at such a time can help you with your priorities and to remember to enjoy the life we have.

*smiles*

Fury

 

[Dynny]

1. you get more bees with sugar than vinegar, but when mixed are tasty with sliced cucumbers
2. life is too short to dwell on unpleasantries, so why be unpleasant
3. if it doesn't feel good, stop, if it hurts others, don't do it.
4. if it makes people happy, do it some more
5. when left with lemons, drink pink lemonade
6. age is a state of mind, laugh a lot and love even more.
7. stay in touch with your dreams,they're the inner needs of your self.
8. for every negative, say three positives
9. knock on wood three times, every little bit helps
10.be thankful for your blessings, one day they may not be there.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Here's my rulebook

Desiderata​

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself to others you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your career however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself, especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture the strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with your God, whatever you conceive Him to be; and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul. With all its shams, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrman

 

[snowy ciara]

I don't have 10 rules. I have some loose guidelines that I try to follow. It doesn't always work, but I try.

1. Work hard, play hard.
2. There isn't any "one, true way" for life, religion or kink, so try not to be judgemental.
2.5 Number two also applies to the Diety, aka Occupant in my life.
3. What goes around, comes around, so be mindful what you say and do to others.
3.5 Stand up for/with others when they need it. Especially when it comes to bullies.
4. Stand up for what you believe in. If you can't stand up for what you "believe" take a long, hard look at whatever it is you're trying to sell.
5 Leave this place better than you found it. Pick up your garbage, physically and metaphorically.

 

[Ebonyfire]

I don't have ten. I have only one.

"Don't take life so seriously, it's not permanent!" I had a T-shirt that said that about twenty years ago. It's still good advice today.

Eb

 

[Dynny]

Here's my rulebook

Desiderata​

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself to others you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your career however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself, especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture the strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with your God, whatever you conceive Him to be; and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul. With all its shams, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrman

i love desiderata, teamed up with everything i needed to know i learned in kindergarden...and how can one not find peace with this world, and their place in it ?

 

[FurryFury]

i love desiderata, teamed up with everything i needed to know i learned in kindergarden...and how can one not find peace with this world, and their place in it ?

I learned a LOT from my cats too! Still working on the finding peace thing, I just seem to find pieces. *giggle*

Fury

 

[graceanne]

Gracie's World

Rule # 1. If no one sees you eat it, it doesn't have any calories.

Rule # 2. Chocolate is one of the four food groups.

Rule # 3. Chasing a hyperactive two year old IS AEROBIC EXERCISE

Rule # 4: Toddlers MAY NOT be faster than their mothers.

Rule # 5: Children WILL need two hour naps everday till they're 5.

Rule # 6. Anyone who calls me when I'm napping will be instantly struck by lightening.

Rule # 7. Summer vacation will make older children need two hour naps during the day.

Rule # 8: Women who have their tubes tied don't have to have periods. I mean, what's the point of that?

Rule # 9: If you get her pregnant, you gotta do sympathy pains with her.

Rule # 10: It's a sin to wake anyone up before 10 am.

Rule # 11: GI Joe is hot, and Ken's a dork.

Rule # 12: (Cause it bugs me, too) Anyone who deliberately doesn't use their turn signal will get hit by a lightening bolt. People who 'forget' will just get a small shock from the steering wheel.

Rule # 13: (For K) Anyone in the passing lane who is not passing will be instantly shot. By tealsphyx.

Rule # 14: It will never be above 72 degress in any state that I am in.

Rule # 15: Any water that anyone expects me to put my feet in will be lukewarm. Any water that I'm supposed to DRINK will be icecold.

Rule # 16: anyone who gets a piercing or a tattoo much share pics

Rule # 17: Not having chocolate is an EMERGANCY.

Rule # 18: The government must set up a 1 800 line for chocolate emergancies.

 

[SirFace]

Gracie's World

Rule # 1. If no one sees you eat it, it doesn't have any calories.

Rule # 2. Chocolate is one of the four food groups.

Rule # 3. Chasing a hyperactive two year old IS AEROBIC EXERCISE

Rule # 4: Toddlers MAY NOT be faster than their mothers.

Rule # 5: Children WILL need two hour naps everday till they're 5.

Rule # 6. Anyone who calls me when I'm napping will be instantly struck by lightening.

Rule # 7. Summer vacation will make older children need two hour naps during the day.

Rule # 8: Women who have their tubes tied don't have to have periods. I mean, what's the point of that?

Rule # 9: If you get her pregnant, you gotta do sympathy pains with her.

Rule # 10: It's a sin to wake anyone up before 10 am.

Rule # 11: GI Joe is hot, and Ken's a dork.

Rule # 12: (Cause it bugs me, too) Anyone who deliberately doesn't use their turn signal will get hit by a lightening bolt. People who 'forget' will just get a small shock from the steering wheel.

Rule # 13: (For K) Anyone in the passing lane who is not passing will be instantly shot. By tealsphyx.

Rule # 14: It will never be above 72 degress in any state that I am in.

Rule # 15: Any water that anyone expects me to put my feet in will be lukewarm. Any water that I'm supposed to DRINK will be icecold.

Rule # 16: anyone who gets a piercing or a tattoo much share pics

Rule # 17: Not having chocolate is an EMERGANCY.

Rule # 18: The government must set up a 1 800 line for chocolate emergancies.

Pretty much agree with most of those.

 

[RJMasters]

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well perserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting, 'Holy shit... What a ride!'"

ammre,

That was really cool how you said that. Thanks

 

[RJMasters]

I try to live my life by.

Do I always succeed? Hell no. The point is, I keep trying and getting better at them.

1) "Know Thyself."
2) "To thine own self be true...."
3) Always challenge "conventional wisdom". There may be some truth in it, but if "Everyone knows" such-and-such, it's 80% hogwash.
4) Give more of yourself than you think you can.
5) Expect nothing of others.
6) Honesty, Dignity and Respect are more than entries in a dictionary. Treat others with these, no matter the circumstance, and your own life will seem more rewarding.
7) We learn not from our successes, but our failures. Don't fear making mistakes, and try to learn from everything you do, even teaching others.
8) In the eyes of others, we are our words and actions. Bear this in mind, and know that no matter your words and actions, you will be misunderstood, reviled and hated at least once in your life.
9) Trust in yourself, have faith in yourself, and you can never fall, no matter how you may falter.
10) Never assume anything.

There's my personal decalogue, what's yours?

I think if you never have a target you will always succeed at hitting nothing.

I like many of the guiding thoughts you have picked out I would like to work through them and add some comments...but I only have time for two, so I will pick one I like and one that I disagree with.

#1 Know yourself. I think this is a great one and I believe it is more important that most people think. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses, your like and dislikes is important. I also think thhat self-awareness is keep at being at peace with who you are.

#5 Expect nothing from others. I disagree with this though I understand the thought behind it. I treat others as i would like to be treated and part of that is knowing that people count and depend on me so I must try my best to be dependable. I too depend on others and in that there are expectations. Much of trust is built upon the positive experience of people meeting and exceeding expectations. So I realisticly do have expectations of others, and try to make sure they are communicated clearly as I know people cannot read my mind. How I handle disappointment has more to do with me weighting my satisfaction with the circumstances involved. Thus my rule looks more like, set your expectation high for yourself and others and have an understanding attitude.

I shall return later and pick a cpl more...thanks T for sharing these.

 

[Shankara20]

#5 Expect nothing from others. I disagree with this though I understand the thought behind it. I treat others as i would like to be treated and part of that is knowing that people count and depend on me so I must try my best to be dependable. I too depend on others and in that there are expectations. Much of trust is built upon the positive experience of people meeting and exceeding expectations. So I realisticly do have expectations of others, and try to make sure they are communicated clearly as I know people cannot read my mind. How I handle disappointment has more to do with me weighting my satisfaction with the circumstances involved. Thus my rule looks more like, set your expectation high for yourself and others and have an understanding attitude.

(if this is seen as an inappropriate hijack please Pm me and I will remove it)

I approach the word "expectation" as a negative concept. It is not the same as an "agreement" between individuals spoke out loud, but as an internal event by one person placed on the desired actions of some other. It is also have overtones of a power dynamic such a boss would have over an employee. Expectation often leads to disappointment, to anger, to pain and to punishment. I use it when I state that in a relationship that there is no pain as great as that of a "unfulfilled unspoken expectation" - in my mind all three of those words happen at the same time.

Having expectations of how other will act often closed the door on spontaneity, surprise and the thrill of the unexpected.

I suggest not having "expectations" is not about the issues of respect, trust or dependability. Those are others issues. Expectation is about how I want you to act.

offered with respect, Shank

 

[SpectreT]

(if this is seen as an inappropriate hijack please Pm me and I will remove it)

I approach the word "expectation" as a negative concept. It is not the same as an "agreement" between individuals spoke out loud, but as an internal event by one person placed on the desired actions of some other. It is also have overtones of a power dynamic such a boss would have over an employee. Expectation often leads to disappointment, to anger, to pain and to punishment. I use it when I state that in a relationship that there is no pain as great as that of a "unfulfilled unspoken expectation" - in my mind all three of those words happen at the same time.

Having expectations of how other will act often closed the door on spontaneity, surprise and the thrill of the unexpected.

I suggest not having "expectations" is not about the issues of respect, trust or dependability. Those are others issues. Expectation is about how I want you to act.

offered with respect, Shank

Sums it up nicely. Thanks, Shank!

 

[FurryFury]

I don't have ten. I have only one.

"Don't take life so seriously, it's not permanent!" I had a T-shirt that said that about twenty years ago. It's still good advice today.

Eb

Good one!

That sliding into the grave thing by Ammre, is excellent too!

I can't say I disagree with much put out there so far though of course I can't live up to them either.

Beautiful Graceanne, your stuff was great! *smiles*

Great ideas and thread IMO, Spectre T!

Fury

 

[Netzach]

1. No one is going to stand around your grave and say "nice car he had" or "her credit rating was impeccable!" If they do you have seriously botched it all.

2. anyone without regrets is either sociopathic or lying, you're going to hurt other people just by breathing, get over it

3. I try to make something every day

4. love stupidly, frequently, blindly, and totally

 

[VelvetDarkness]

"Nobody is looking at you or thinking about you, they're thinking about themselves, just like you are."

 

[graceanne]

Ok, I thought of a serious one.

Don't worry about what other people do or don't do. That's between them and their conciouses. Keep your own concious clear. No point worrying about something you have no control of.

Also, you can't control how you feel, only how you act.

 

[littlegirlslut]

Ok, I thought of a serious one.

Don't worry about what other people do or don't do. That's between them and their conciouses. Keep your own concious clear. No point worrying about something you have no control of.

Also, you can't control how you feel, only how you act.

Wow Grace - I really needed to hear this today.

 

[FurryFury]

Netzach, Velvet and Gracie,

Good thoughts and fine ideals y'all put out there!

*smiles*

Fury

 

[graceanne]

Wow Grace - I really needed to hear this today.

That's cool. And kinda weird. Early this morning I was telling a friend that, and I thought 'oh, I should post that on 'ten rules' thread'. Normally that would be about the time I'd forget to post that - i think of good things to post on lit all the time, but when I'm actually here I can't recall what it was. But I got home this afternoon and just knew I needed to get online and post that.

 

[Netzach]

"Nobody is looking at you or thinking about you, they're thinking about themselves, just like you are."

I totally live this, like to think I do. Trying to get it to rub off on M.

 

[Marquis]

My 48 Laws

Law 1

Never Outshine the Master

Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity. Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.

Law 2

Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies

Be wary of friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.

Law 3

Conceal your Intentions

Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. If they have no clue what you are up to, they cannot prepare a defense. Guide them far enough down the wrong path, envelope them in enough smoke, and by the time they realize your intentions, it will be too late.

Law 4

Always Say Less than Necessary

When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.

Law 5

So Much Depends on Reputation – Guard it with your Life

Reputation is the cornerstone of power. Through reputation alone you can intimidate and win; once you slip, however, you are vulnerable, and will be attacked on all sides. Make your reputation unassailable. Always be alert to potential attacks and thwart them before they happen. Meanwhile, learn to destroy your enemies by opening holes in their own reputations. Then stand aside and let public opinion hang them.

Law 6

Court Attention at all Cost

Everything is judged by its appearance; what is unseen counts for nothing. Never let yourself get lost in the crowd, then, or buried in oblivion. Stand out. Be conspicuous, at all cost. Make yourself a magnet of attention by appearing larger, more colorful, more mysterious, than the bland and timid masses.

Law 7

Get others to do the Work for you, but Always Take the Credit

Use the wisdom, knowledge, and legwork of other people to further your own cause. Not only will such assistance save you valuable time and energy, it will give you a godlike aura of efficiency and speed. In the end your helpers will be forgotten and you will be remembered. Never do yourself what others can do for you.

Law 8

Make other People come to you – use Bait if Necessary

When you force the other person to act, you are the one in control. It is always better to make your opponent come to you, abandoning his own plans in the process. Lure him with fabulous gains – then attack. You hold the cards.

Law 9

Win through your Actions, Never through Argument

Any momentary triumph you think gained through argument is really a Pyrrhic victory: The resentment and ill will you stir up is stronger and lasts longer than any momentary change of opinion. It is much more powerful to get others to agree with you through your actions, without saying a word. Demonstrate, do not explicate.

Law 10

Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky

You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.

Law 11

Learn to Keep People Dependent on You

To maintain your independence you must always be needed and wanted. The more you are relied on, the more freedom you have. Make people depend on you for their happiness and prosperity and you have nothing to fear. Never teach them enough so that they can do without you.

Law 12

Use Selective Honesty and Generosity to Disarm your Victim

One sincere and honest move will cover over dozens of dishonest ones. Open-hearted gestures of honesty and generosity bring down the guard of even the most suspicious people. Once your selective honesty opens a hole in their armor, you can deceive and manipulate them at will. A timely gift – a Trojan horse – will serve the same purpose.

Law 13

When Asking for Help, Appeal to People’s Self-Interest,

Never to their Mercy or Gratitude

If you need to turn to an ally for help, do not bother to remind him of your past assistance and good deeds. He will find a way to ignore you. Instead, uncover something in your request, or in your alliance with him, that will benefit him, and emphasize it out of all proportion. He will respond enthusiastically when he sees something to be gained for himself.

Law 14

Pose as a Friend, Work as a Spy

Knowing about your rival is critical. Use spies to gather valuable information that will keep you a step ahead. Better still: Play the spy yourself. In polite social encounters, learn to probe. Ask indirect questions to get people to reveal their weaknesses and intentions. There is no occasion that is not an opportunity for artful spying.

Law 15

Crush your Enemy Totally

All great leaders since Moses have known that a feared enemy must be crushed completely. (Sometimes they have learned this the hard way.) If one ember is left alight, no matter how dimly it smolders, a fire will eventually break out. More is lost through stopping halfway than through total annihilation: The enemy will recover, and will seek revenge. Crush him, not only in body but in spirit.

Law 16

Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor

Too much circulation makes the price go down: The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear. If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired. You must learn when to leave. Create value through scarcity.

Law 17

Keep Others in Suspended Terror: Cultivate an Air of Unpredictability

Humans are creatures of habit with an insatiable need to see familiarity in other people’s actions. Your predictability gives them a sense of control. Turn the tables: Be deliberately unpredictable. Behavior that seems to have no consistency or purpose will keep them off-balance, and they will wear themselves out trying to explain your moves. Taken to an extreme, this strategy can intimidate and terrorize.

Law 18

Do Not Build Fortresses to Protect Yourself – Isolation is Dangerous

The world is dangerous and enemies are everywhere – everyone has to protect themselves. A fortress seems the safest. But isolation exposes you to more dangers than it protects you from – it cuts you off from valuable information, it makes you conspicuous and an easy target. Better to circulate among people find allies, mingle. You are shielded from your enemies by the crowd.

Law 19

Know Who You’re Dealing with – Do Not Offend the Wrong Person

There are many different kinds of people in the world, and you can never assume that everyone will react to your strategies in the same way. Deceive or outmaneuver some people and they will spend the rest of their lives seeking revenge. They are wolves in lambs’ clothing. Choose your victims and opponents carefully, then – never offend or deceive the wrong person.

Law 20

Do Not Commit to Anyone

It is the fool who always rushes to take sides. Do not commit to any side or cause but yourself. By maintaining your independence, you become the master of others – playing people against one another, making them pursue you.

Law 21

Play a Sucker to Catch a Sucker – Seem Dumber than your Mark

No one likes feeling stupider than the next persons. The trick, is to make your victims feel smart – and not just smart, but smarter than you are. Once convinced of this, they will never suspect that you may have ulterior motives.

Law 22

Use the Surrender Tactic: Transform Weakness into Power

When you are weaker, never fight for honor’s sake; choose surrender instead. Surrender gives you time to recover, time to torment and irritate your conqueror, time to wait for his power to wane. Do not give him the satisfaction of fighting and defeating you – surrender first. By turning the other check you infuriate and unsettle him. Make surrender a tool of power.

Law 23

Concentrate Your Forces

Conserve your forces and energies by keeping them concentrated at their strongest point. You gain more by finding a rich mine and mining it deeper, than by flitting from one shallow mine to another – intensity defeats extensity every time. When looking for sources of power to elevate you, find the one key patron, the fat cow who will give you milk for a long time to come.

Law 24

Play the Perfect Courtier

The perfect courtier thrives in a world where everything revolves around power and political dexterity. He has mastered the art of indirection; he flatters, yields to superiors, and asserts power over others in the mot oblique and graceful manner. Learn and apply the laws of courtiership and there will be no limit to how far you can rise in the court.

Law 25

Re-Create Yourself

Do not accept the roles that society foists on you. Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention and never bores the audience. Be the master of your own image rather than letting others define if for you. Incorporate dramatic devices into your public gestures and actions – your power will be enhanced and your character will seem larger than life.

Law 26

Keep Your Hands Clean

You must seem a paragon of civility and efficiency: Your hands are never soiled by mistakes and nasty deeds. Maintain such a spotless appearance by using others as scapegoats and cat’s-paws to disguise your involvement.

Law 27

Play on People’s Need to Believe to Create a Cultlike Following

People have an overwhelming desire to believe in something. Become the focal point of such desire by offering them a cause, a new faith to follow. Keep your words vague but full of promise; emphasize enthusiasm over rationality and clear thinking. Give your new disciples rituals to perform, ask them to make sacrifices on your behalf. In the absence of organized religion and grand causes, your new belief system will bring you untold power.

Law 28

Enter Action with Boldness

If you are unsure of a course of action, do not attempt it. Your doubts and hesitations will infect your execution. Timidity is dangerous: Better to enter with boldness. Any mistakes you commit through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity. Everyone admires the bold; no one honors the timid.

Law 29

Plan All the Way to the End

The ending is everything. Plan all the way to it, taking into account all the possible consequences, obstacles, and twists of fortune that might reverse your hard work and give the glory to others. By planning to the end you will not be overwhelmed by circumstances and you will know when to stop. Gently guide fortune and help determine the future by thinking far ahead.

Law 30

Make your Accomplishments Seem Effortless

Your actions must seem natural and executed with ease. All the toil and practice that go into them, and also all the clever tricks, must be concealed. When you act, act effortlessly, as if you could do much more. Avoid the temptation of revealing how hard you work – it only raises questions. Teach no one your tricks or they will be used against you.

Law 31

Control the Options: Get Others to Play with the Cards you Deal

The best deceptions are the ones that seem to give the other person a choice: Your victims feel they are in control, but are actually your puppets. Give people options that come out in your favor whichever one they choose. Force them to make choices between the lesser of two evils, both of which serve your purpose. Put them on the horns of a dilemma: They are gored wherever they turn.

Law 32

Play to People’s Fantasies

The truth is often avoided because it is ugly and unpleasant. Never appeal to truth and reality unless you are prepared for the anger that comes for disenchantment. Life is so harsh and distressing that people who can manufacture romance or conjure up fantasy are like oases in the desert: Everyone flocks to them. There is great power in tapping into the fantasies of the masses.

Law 33

Discover Each Man’s Thumbscrew

Everyone has a weakness, a gap in the castle wall. That weakness is usual y an insecurity, an uncontrollable emotion or need; it can also be a small secret pleasure. Either way, once found, it is a thumbscrew you can turn to your advantage.

Law 34

Be Royal in your Own Fashion: Act like a King to be treated like one

The way you carry yourself will often determine how you are treated; In the long run, appearing vulgar or common will make people disrespect you. For a king respects himself and inspires the same sentiment in others. By acting regally and confident of your powers, you make yourself seem destined to wear a crown.

Law 35

Master the Art of Timing

Never seem to be in a hurry – hurrying betrays a lack of control over yourself, and over time. Always seem patient, as if you know that everything will come to you eventually. Become a detective of the right moment; sniff out the spirit of the times, the trends that will carry you to power. Learn to stand back when the time is not yet ripe, and to strike fiercely when it has reached fruition.

Law 36

Disdain Things you cannot have: Ignoring them is the best Revenge

By acknowledging a petty problem you give it existence and credibility. The more attention you pay an enemy, the stronger you make him; and a small mistake is often made worse and more visible when you try to fix it. It is sometimes best to leave things alone. If there is something you want but cannot have, show contempt for it. The less interest you reveal, the more superior you seem.

Law 37

Create Compelling Spectacles

Striking imagery and grand symbolic gestures create the aura of power – everyone responds to them. Stage spectacles for those around you, then full of arresting visuals and radiant symbols that heighten your presence. Dazzled by appearances, no one will notice what you are really doing.

Law 38

Think as you like but Behave like others

If you make a show of going against the times, flaunting your unconventional ideas and unorthodox ways, people will think that you only want attention and that you look down upon them. They will find a way to punish you for making them feel inferior. It is far safer to blend in and nurture the common touch. Share your originality only with tolerant friends and those who are sure to appreciate your uniqueness.

Law 39

Stir up Waters to Catch Fish

Anger and emotion are strategically counterproductive. You must always stay calm and objective. But if you can make your enemies angry while staying calm yourself, you gain a decided advantage. Put your enemies off-balance: Find the chink in their vanity through which you can rattle them and you hold the strings.

Law 40

Despise the Free Lunch

What is offered for free is dangerous – it usually involves either a trick or a hidden obligation. What has worth is worth paying for. By paying your own way you stay clear of gratitude, guilt, and deceit. It is also often wise to pay the full price – there is no cutting corners with excellence. Be lavish with your money and keep it circulating, for generosity is a sign and a magnet for power.

Law 41

Avoid Stepping into a Great Man’s Shoes

What happens first always appears better and more original than what comes after. If you succeed a great man or have a famous parent, you will have to accomplish double their achievements to outshine them. Do not get lost in their shadow, or stuck in a past not of your own making: Establish your own name and identity by changing course. Slay the overbearing father, disparage his legacy, and gain power by shining in your own way.

Law 42

Strike the Shepherd and the Sheep will Scatter

Trouble can often be traced to a single strong individual – the stirrer, the arrogant underling, the poisoned of goodwill. If you allow such people room to operate, others will succumb to their influence. Do not wait for the troubles they cause to multiply, do not try to negotiate with them – they are irredeemable. Neutralize their influence by isolating or banishing them. Strike at the source of the trouble and the sheep will scatter.

Law 43

Work on the Hearts and Minds of Others

Coercion creates a reaction that will eventually work against you. You must seduce others into wanting to move in your direction. A person you have seduced becomes your loyal pawn. And the way to seduce others is to operate on their individual psychologies and weaknesses. Soften up the resistant by working on their emotions, playing on what they hold dear and what they fear. Ignore the hearts and minds of others and they will grow to hate you.

Law 44

Disarm and Infuriate with the Mirror Effect

The mirror reflects reality, but it is also the perfect tool for deception: When you mirror your enemies, doing exactly as they do, they cannot figure out your strategy. The Mirror Effect mocks and humiliates them, making them overreact. By holding up a mirror to their psyches, you seduce them with the illusion that you share their values; by holding up a mirror to their actions, you teach them a lesson. Few can resist the power of Mirror Effect.

Law 45

Preach the Need for Change, but Never Reform too much at Once

Everyone understands the need for change in the abstract, but on the day-to-day level people are creatures of habit. Too much innovation is traumatic, and will lead to revolt. If you are new to a position of power, or an outsider trying to build a power base, make a show of respecting the old way of doing things. If change is necessary, make it feel like a gentle improvement on the past.

Law 46

Never appear too Perfect

Appearing better than others is always dangerous, but most dangerous of all is to appear to have no faults or weaknesses. Envy creates silent enemies. It is smart to occasionally display defects, and admit to harmless vices, in order to deflect envy and appear more human and approachable. Only gods and the dead can seem perfect with impunity.

Law 47

Do not go Past the Mark you Aimed for; In Victory, Learn when to Stop

The moment of victory is often the moment of greatest peril. In the heat of victory, arrogance and overconfidence can push you past the goal you had aimed for, and by going too far, you make more enemies than you defeat. Do not allow success to go to your head. There is no substitute for strategy and careful planning. Set a goal, and when you reach it, stop.

Law 48

Assume Formlessness

By taking a shape, by having a visible plan, you open yourself to attack. Instead of taking a form for your enemy to grasp, keep yourself adaptable and on the move. Accept the fact that nothing is certain and no law is fixed. The best way to protect yourself is to be as fluid and formless as water; never bet on stability or lasting order. Everything changes.