Temporary Postpartum Loss of Libido

[Melesse]

While this is similiar to countless threads out there, it is different enough I thought it warranted it's own thread. My wife and I have a child of just under six months. Since she got pregnant, she's lost interest in sex, first b/c she put on some weight (only 40 lbs. over the pregnancy), and then afterwards due to Postpartum. We've looked it up and read that she can expect 9-12 months of decreased sex drive after the birth, and she was recently put on anti-depressants for the Postpartum Depression. She was hoping the anti-depressants would help, and they did for her moods, but not her sex drive.

Part of the problem isn't that she doesn't want sex, she still does (just less often!), and even when we do have sex (It was once a month, since the anti-Depressants she's been trying more often) she says she can hardly feel anything. She was a C-Section, so it's not that her vagina was stretched too far, although now that I mention it, I wonder if they severed some nerves maybe when they cut across her belly?

Anyways, the question is does anyone know of any temporary boosts to libido for women? We've discussed it, and she has stated her fervent desire to have sex, but she's just not getting anything out of it, and she feels sexually inadequate because of it, and she's getting even more depressed.

Any help would be a plus. Although just writing this reminded me that there was a sensitivity gel we tried a few years ago that she liked, but thought was too much....damn, what was it called? It was sold in Walmart at the time, but not anymore... Anyone have any experience with those? Which one works best? Can't remember the one we liked...

Melesse

 

[Willing and Unsure]

from a lot of things that I've read on here over the years now, many anti-depressants can cause a decrease in libido. I've never taken them, so I dont know anything about them for sure.

As far as the rest of what you have said about her, I would consider consulting a doctor if it is that much of a concern for both of you. It very well could be the post partum causing the decreased sensitivity. I've never had a child, so I cant say anything first hand. I have suffered in the past from ptsd (post traumatic stress disorder) and it affected me sexually like you've described for at least a year. But seriously consider speaking with a doctor if you're really concerned about it and feel it is a huge problem.

 

[Bacteriophage68]

Interesting

http://targen.no-ip.com/pwnd/towelheadinteresting.jpg

 

[Leeleigh]

While this is similiar to countless threads out there, it is different enough I thought it warranted it's own thread. My wife and I have a child of just under six months. Since she got pregnant, she's lost interest in sex, first b/c she put on some weight (only 40 lbs. over the pregnancy), and then afterwards due to Postpartum. We've looked it up and read that she can expect 9-12 months of decreased sex drive after the birth, and she was recently put on anti-depressants for the Postpartum Depression. She was hoping the anti-depressants would help, and they did for her moods, but not her sex drive.

Part of the problem isn't that she doesn't want sex, she still does (just less often!), and even when we do have sex (It was once a month, since the anti-Depressants she's been trying more often) she says she can hardly feel anything. She was a C-Section, so it's not that her vagina was stretched too far, although now that I mention it, I wonder if they severed some nerves maybe when they cut across her belly?

Anyways, the question is does anyone know of any temporary boosts to libido for women? We've discussed it, and she has stated her fervent desire to have sex, but she's just not getting anything out of it, and she feels sexually inadequate because of it, and she's getting even more depressed.

Any help would be a plus. Although just writing this reminded me that there was a sensitivity gel we tried a few years ago that she liked, but thought was too much....damn, what was it called? It was sold in Walmart at the time, but not anymore... Anyone have any experience with those? Which one works best? Can't remember the one we liked...

Melesse

I hate to tell you but anti depressants do kill a sex drive.. I can only tell you to hang tight.. she just gave you a precious gift in the form of a child.. her body is undergoing lots of changes. There are other things you can do besides intercourse that will bring you both pleasure.. mutual masturbation, there are a few sex toys for men that you can check out, that you can use together..

Maybe these sites will give you some answers:

1 This one compares the different medications

2 This one is a frank discussion on various problems regarding loss of sex drive

3 Natural aides

Please make sure that you talk to her doctor if you choose to take medication... If she is nursing the baby, you can pass things on to your child.

 

[rydia57]

I hate to tell you but anti depressants do kill a sex drive.. I can only tell you to hang tight.. she just gave you a precious gift in the form of a child.. her body is undergoing lots of changes. There are other things you can do besides intercourse that will bring you both pleasure.. mutual masturbation, there are a few sex toys for men that you can check out, that you can use together..

Maybe these sites will give you some answers:

1 This one compares the different medications

2 This one is a frank discussion on various problems regarding loss of sex drive

3 Natural aides

Please make sure that you talk to her doctor if you choose to take medication... If she is nursing the baby, you can pass things on to your child.

I've heard that sex and exercise are great antidepressants. I've been with two depressed guys, the first I reallly had to get away from. He was depressing me! The second, after awhile he stopped taking his antidepressants and getting more sex, and he is much better. The sex is not from me, but hey, I'm just glad he's better. Now... just need to have hope for me getting some....

 

[Eilan]

While this is similiar to countless threads out there, it is different enough I thought it warranted it's own thread. My wife and I have a child of just under six months. Since she got pregnant, she's lost interest in sex, first b/c she put on some weight (only 40 lbs. over the pregnancy), and then afterwards due to Postpartum. We've looked it up and read that she can expect 9-12 months of decreased sex drive after the birth, and she was recently put on anti-depressants for the Postpartum Depression. She was hoping the anti-depressants would help, and they did for her moods, but not her sex drive.

Part of the problem isn't that she doesn't want sex, she still does (just less often!), and even when we do have sex (It was once a month, since the anti-Depressants she's been trying more often) she says she can hardly feel anything. She was a C-Section, so it's not that her vagina was stretched too far, although now that I mention it, I wonder if they severed some nerves maybe when they cut across her belly?

Anyways, the question is does anyone know of any temporary boosts to libido for women? We've discussed it, and she has stated her fervent desire to have sex, but she's just not getting anything out of it, and she feels sexually inadequate because of it, and she's getting even more depressed.

Any help would be a plus. Although just writing this reminded me that there was a sensitivity gel we tried a few years ago that she liked, but thought was too much....damn, what was it called? It was sold in Walmart at the time, but not anymore... Anyone have any experience with those? Which one works best? Can't remember the one we liked...

Melesse

As someone who had PPD with one of my pregnancies, I feel for your wife.

I don't have any real advice to offer in term of anti-depressants because I have no experience with them.

Keep in mind that it takes the better part of a year for a woman's body to recover from childbirth. Maybe she'll regain sensitivity within the next few months, particularly if she discontinues the anti-depressants at some point. If not, she may want to talk to her ob-gyn.

 

[Ezzy]

Read this or here .

 

[pupper]

Remeber also that dealingwith raising young children can take its toll on your wifes sex drive.I would definately get her off the anti depressants or switch to a med that doesn't fuck with libido.

 

[Melesse]

Willing and Unsure, she's only been on the anti-depressants a week. She's seriously considering going off them, because they don't let her sleep.

Leeleigh, she is not nursing, so that's not a concern. It's not the anti-depressants either, the two pronged assault seems to be depression, from one of the links someone later provided.

Rydia57, she does get in the mood from time to time, but once she's in the mood and we try and fuck, the littlest thing gets her out. Once I said something about putting my dick in her ass, and she started laughing so hard she couldn't have sex anymore. I didn't think it was so funny

Eilan, thank you for your thoughts. The OB just gave her anti-depressants. We had read the lack of certain hormones after pregnancy can affect sex drive, so she went in looking for a hormone replacement we had read about, but got anti-depressants instead.

Ezzy, thank you. One of the last paragraphs on the second link described this perfectly. Lack of sex drive, and even when having sex, difficulty having orgasm, which could be assumed to be from decreased sensitivity.

Thanks Pupper, but I think she needs the anti-depressants more then I need the sex. I'd rather have my wife back than more sex then once a month lol. Her mood is....well, let's just say we need something lol.

Melesse

 

[Eilan]

Eilan, thank you for your thoughts. The OB just gave her anti-depressants. We had read the lack of certain hormones after pregnancy can affect sex drive, so she went in looking for a hormone replacement we had read about, but got anti-depressants instead.

I'm obviously not a doctor, but my impression of PPD is that it has to do with both hormones and brain chemistry. I guess it's up to the ob-gyn to decide which to treat, though.

It's interesting how PPD can affect some women and not others, and how it can affect women differently during each pregnancy. I didn't have it at all after my first child was born. With my two youngest children, I had a couple of whiny days during the first week.

However, the first couple of months after my second child was born were a living hell. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. In hindsight, I think that my ex and I were in denial as to the extent of the problem, though lots of outsiders could see exactly what was going on. PPD was the proverbial "straw that broke the camel's back" as far as our marriage was concerned.

At this point, I have nothing to offer but my continued good wishes.

 

[SweetErika]

Do some research on the anti-depressants as others suggested. Most (if not all) of them can decrease/kill the libido and/or pleasure. Since she's only been on them for a week, she's likely adjusting to them, although the sexual problems could get worse as the drug level builds. If it's still a problem, read up and talk to the doctor about trying different medications. This one may be wrong for her, especially if it's keeping her up. I've been on a couple at various times, and all anti-depressants are definitely not equal.

Something like acupuncture or another natural therapy may help as well, so it might be worth looking into.

 

[Ezzy]

And a vitamin B suppliment may help with some dopamine production.

Check it out with her doctor.

 

[Sybarist]

I can speak from experience with both anti-depressants and PPD after a cesarean birth....

My advice to your wife is to wait out the period of side-effects before she decides that she can't use medication. Most side effects will clear up in about 6 weeks, and after that the good part kicks in... Also, if she needs to adjust medication levels at a later time, be prepared to go through more adjustment periods- not usually as dramatic or as lengthy, but they will occur. I found that relaxation excersizes were the only way to fall asleep during the adjustment period (I changed my dosages quite a bit in the 3 years I was taking medication) where I live, therapy is required when you are put on anti-depressants and mine focussed mainly on relaxation and internal thought processes- great stuff to practice when your trying to fall asleep!! If you find that she continues to have little or no sex drive and you feel its medication-related then you can always try a different medication down the road.

Now, as to the sex drive thing after C-section..
I have two children now. One six and one almost 10 months old.
The first one was a vaginal birth, I had a few minor complications, some stiches, and a heck of a lot more to worry about (being a first-time parent I mean) than number two. However I had absolutely no change in my sex drive afterwards and in fact couldn't wait for the damn stiches to come out before I could get on with things!!

Number two changed things quite a lot for me. After we came home, my husband and I didn't even touch for almost 4 months! Most days he was lucky if I looked at him without breaking into tears. PPD for sure, but even now that I feel I have worked through the depression there are still major body issues for me to work through. It I mean, I've always been reasonably happy with my body and the way it reacts to things and such, but it's like having the C-section changed things in my brain more? Honestly it's only been the last month or so that I even look forward to being sexual, and I still cannot bear to let him see me with the lights on.....

I'd say give her at least two months from now (could be more) to get over the trauma of her surgery and get through the side effects of her meds, and then help her figure out how she feels about herself. Since she has already sought help, she'll get through it all in time, and your caring and patience will be greatly rewarded when she feels better I'm sure!!

Take care,
Syb.