teaching my older boyfriend

[confused25]

I'm dating a man 12 years older than me that is addicted to sex. The problem is that there is little to no foreplay, no matter how much I ask (beg even) for it. He will lick me a couple times then he just slams it in there. I love sex to but really need foreplay. My boyfriend has moved away for work and I would love to send him sext messages but he just want it right ti the point. Now he gets angry when I'm not as into sex all the time. What should I do?

 

[MsQuote]

I'm dating a man 12 years older than me that is addicted to sex. The problem is that there is little to no foreplay, no matter how much I ask (beg even) for it. He will lick me a couple times then he just slams it in there. I love sex to but really need foreplay. My boyfriend has moved away for work and I would love to send him sext messages but he just want it right ti the point. Now he gets angry when I'm not as into sex all the time. What should I do?

How long have you been dating? How does he treat you when you're not having sex?

I don't know how old either of you are, but if he has a dozen years on you, I would expect he'd know a thing or two about great sex being about each partner mutually pleasing each other and that women generally need some warming up before they can run at full speed throttle. Generally, I've found through the wisdom of my years (48) that men don't seem to understand and appreciate those concepts until they hit their early to mid-40's. They seem to learn it through life's experiences.

My impression from hearing you say that he gets angry when you say that you're not into sex all the time is that he's not listening to you or doesn't care what's important to you. What's so great about him that keeps you sticking around?

 

[NippleMuncher]

If he's a true addict, then he's only interested in doing what it takes to get himself off, he doesn't give a crap about anything else. You could be an inflatable sex doll for all he cares.

Until he cares about you, your feelings, and your needs, he's not going to change.

 

[knot_sweet]

I'm dating a man 12 years older than me that is addicted to sex. The problem is that there is little to no foreplay, no matter how much I ask (beg even) for it. He will lick me a couple times then he just slams it in there. I love sex to but really need foreplay. My boyfriend has moved away for work and I would love to send him sext messages but he just want it right ti the point. Now he gets angry when I'm not as into sex all the time. What should I do?

Three suggestions;

1) Actualy tell him you need foreplay to get off. Do it in a neutral environment (ie, over dinner or something) in a situation that isn't sexual. Have a conversation about it, rather than waiting till you're both naked and he's ready to go then asking.

2) Tie him down and put on a show for him. Show him how you like to be touched etc. Make plenty of nouse about how good it feels while you're doing it. Tell him you wish it was him getting you off like this.

3) If one and two don't work, cut him off until he realises he has to put in some damn effort.

 

[123Josh]

Communication is key..Tell him. He can't do what he doesn't know.

 

[MsQuote]

Communication is key..Tell him. He can't do what he doesn't know.

I'm dating a man 12 years older than me that is addicted to sex. The problem is that there is little to no foreplay, no matter how much I ask (beg even) for it. He will lick me a couple times then he just slams it in there. I love sex to but really need foreplay. My boyfriend has moved away for work and I would love to send him sext messages but he just want it right ti the point. Now he gets angry when I'm not as into sex all the time. What should I do?

She has told him.

Obviously, he doesn't want to do what she's asking and he doesn't want to know.

 

[Zzorhn]

I believe your question has been answered; excellent advice from those that have replied to this. I also believe, that you know what you desire, from the first post. There are many men who are not interested in their partner's gratification; either in bed, or other matters.

Communication is key! If you cannot talk to your partner, then, aspects of love are not the only problem you have. IMHO....best of luck.

 

[Lord Pmann]

You're not his fucktoy. I mean, unless that's your thing, which it's clearly not. So, if you've told him and he's still not keen on making you happy, DTMFA.

Communication is key..Tell him. He can't do what he doesn't know.

I agree that communication is important. So, I want you to know via this communication that I think you should have another avatar as that one creeps me the fuck out.

 

[subwannabe]

What should you do? Easy answer: Dump him! Why the hell do you even want him for a boyfriend? If he's selfish in bed he's probably selfish out of bed to. Move on.

 

[bobsgirl]

What should you do? Easy answer: Dump him! Why the hell do you even want him for a boyfriend? If he's selfish in bed he's probably selfish out of bed to. Move on.

I get why this is not as easy as it sounds, but boy, I like this answer. Two thumbs up.

 

[1Browneyedguy]

Very good replies/ advice

Personnaly, I LOVE foreplay.. both giving and receiving...

 

[C2W]

---

you want to teach your older boyfriend how much foreplay means to you--,
is that what I'm getting from this thread???

Thats easy!!!!

Don't answer his calls, or his knock on the door.

Let him listen to your pleasure as someone who knows how to please a woman is taking care of you and then let him hear how they sound when you are reciprocating.

 

[tmmmbrrr]

I'm dating a man 12 years older than me that is addicted to sex. The problem is that there is little to no foreplay, no matter how much I ask (beg even) for it. He will lick me a couple times then he just slams it in there. I love sex to but really need foreplay. My boyfriend has moved away for work and I would love to send him sext messages but he just want it right ti the point. Now he gets angry when I'm not as into sex all the time. What should I do?

I know this sounds cold, but it doesn't sound like your bf is all that compatible with you and he sounds like kind of a jerk sexually. Maybe you should think about moving and changing all your numbers while he is working away.

 

[rosco rathbone]

If he's a true addict, then he's only interested in doing what it takes to get himself off, he doesn't give a crap about anything else. You could be an inflatable sex doll for all he cares.

Until he cares about you, your feelings, and your needs, he's not going to change.

Which is fucking hot, actually.

 

[bailadora]

Which is fucking hot, actually.

Maybe to you.

Something tells me if she kinked on being treated like a sex doll, this thread wouldn't exist.

 

[fgarvb1]

I guess that is the difference between a sex addict and a sexaholic.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

I'm in agreement with the neutral environment..
in fact, if you started talking about your "fantasy" over dinner, you might both be a little more aroused later.
The trick would be to tell him he's not allowed to lick it and stick it once you get back from dinner.. because of how much you enjoy wanting him..
The next day though.. when you wake up with your face exploring his man parts because of the dream you had about him.. (I don't care if you dreamed or not.. make something up)..
but I don't know if that would be a good time for him to be inside you yet either..

lol.. take charge, girl!

 

[SweetShal303]

How long have you been dating? How does he treat you when you're not having sex?

I don't know how old either of you are, but if he has a dozen years on you, I would expect he'd know a thing or two about great sex being about each partner mutually pleasing each other and that women generally need some warming up before they can run at full speed throttle. Generally, I've found through the wisdom of my years (48) that men don't seem to understand and appreciate those concepts until they hit their early to mid-40's. They seem to learn it through life's experiences.

My impression from hearing you say that he gets angry when you say that you're not into sex all the time is that he's not listening to you or doesn't care what's important to you. What's so great about him that keeps you sticking around?

I think you have quite nailed it...

The guy seems very selfish to me...He's only bothered about his own pleasure...doesn't seem to care about your feelings...gets angry when you talk about your own feelings - for him it seems that slamming into you should get you off as it gets him off...seriously he ought to wake up and smell the coffee..you're not an object to be used and thrown away once done...

I am surprised you're still with him...

 

[silverwhisper]

anyone else thinking someone 12 years her senior and this fucking immature has issues?

ed

 

[fire_breeze]

anyone else thinking someone 12 years her senior and this fucking immature has issues?

ed

You would think so, but sadly no... age has nothing to do with empathy and listening and maturity (in or out of the sack). If it did, then we wouldn't have 3/4 of the problems we do today.

 

[MsQuote]

anyone else thinking someone 12 years her senior and this fucking immature has issues?

ed

When I first responded to this post, I went out of my way to be nice, gentle and fair in an attempt not to come off as a man-basher, which I'm not. I'm glad men like you have called this idiot out.

I think too many of us settle out of fear of being lonely or not being with anyone. Unfortunately, I hit rock bottom before I got to the point that I made it a point to never put up with crap like the OP's boyfriend. Even though there were times I'd go for months without a date or years without sex, I actually found it to be very liberating.

Luckily, I now have a wonderful man in my life. We're in a long-distance relationship, but I wouldn't trade him for the world. The benefits far outweigh the disadvantages of being apart for two months at a time.

 

[Eilan]

When I first responded to this post, I went out of my way to be nice, gentle and fair in an attempt not to come off as a man-basher, which I'm not.

I've decided to embrace my misandry. *shrug*

 

[MsQuote]

I've decided to embrace my misandry. *shrug*

I just won't go there.

Just because I dated a number of dickheads in the past doesn't mean all men are worthy of hatred.

Most of my friends are men and they're wonderful people.

I've met and dated a handful of genuinely nice men, but the chemistry, common interests or values weren't there for things to progress to dating, sex or a relationship. It didn't mean they were bad people.

For the longest time when I was in my non-dating mode, I used to get insanely jealous and upset with women who had men who treated them exceptionally well ... especially if they didn't appreciate their men or clearly didn't deserve them. I'd often think, "Why can't I have a man like she has?"

That's not to say that there aren't a lot of dogs out there. I just choose not to have anything to do with them. Problem solved.