CandiCame
Rocket Grunt
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2011
- Posts
- 26,765
OK! My first day at my new job was yesterday- just got up. Smoking again.
I hated high school. I fucking hated high school. And do you know why I hated highschool? Because teenagers- now that I am 20 (I did not realize how important a threshold losing the word 'teenager' was until today) I get to say "teenager" talking about someone else- are fucking assholes.
And I'm 5' 8". And not wolverine kind of short. And I was an alterna-teen then. And I don't own a work-shirt that doesn't have some kind of emblem spary-painted on the back of it. So, I had to borrow one of my boyfriend's church shirts- which are what he calls dress shirts, I swear to god- Ive told everyone we know, and we've decided to break him from it- and he's about 2 sizes bigger then me. And he wears his clothes loose so it's actually closer to three sizes. But I wore a black sweater-vest, which is totally allowable in the dress code, so I was hoping for a "Mr. Rogers/Dr. Venture vibe".
Perfect start- anyway, I got there, and I was supposed to be teaching still life drawing, which is the easiest and therefore to people who take art classes for an easy 'A' most boring. It was shadowing techniques- which actually are pretty important for the rest of your life drawing career. But anyway- so I set up the lighting and walked around all like I had been taught in class (covering space) or whatever- doing individual comments, you know, teaching.
So I get to this one kid who's talking to hot chick- then I'm like, sweet jesus- hot chick? She's like, 16!'Yes, thoughts- but that's like, 4 years younger then me'So it's not that bad?-and he hasn't done anything the entire class, but the chick has. She's actually done a lot, her perspective is perfect, her shading is beginning to look really well-drawn, at least well proportioned. So I know she had time. But the chick, was really hot. And he was sitting next to her, so I decided not to say anything and just comment on hers and how well she was doing. In art classes, for those of you who don't remember, you sit like you're sharing a joint [I'm assuming to prepare someone for college] and have something in the middle of you that you're all staring at drawing from different angles. She was next in line.
So I keep going around (the teacher is playing a more adult form of 'duck duck goose' in these encounters) and I come back to them, like, 20 minutes later. The chick has progressed a lot, the guy has actually done a little, but it's horrible. I told him to check his perspectives a little closer before he moved on to shading. Went on.
The bullet point to this story is that this kid was starting to annoy me. He wasn't doing his work, he was bothering other people- and then, at one point, he got up and fucked up the lights- in a college art class, everyone jumps your shit for that- so the kids who were actually working, who had spent like, an hour trying to get the deception of the lighting down are visibly pissed.
"What the fuck?" The girl who was sitting next to him asked- along with half the class. I started, and caught myself just before 'fuck'- teachers can't say 'fuck' or any curse word, at school- we were drilled on that- so I thought of other words I could put there- hell, shit damn, I didn't know a way to end that sentence.
"I can't see," he explained- this kid was obviously a dick, but I found out later that the reason no one called him on it is because he was the school's star bascketball player- this was not an honest mistake thing, he was fucking with me.
"Dude, turn 6," I snapped- because he was annoying the fuck out of me, "You know you're fuc- messing it up for the rest of the class." What the hell!?
So the kid actually asks me, for no reason, "What are you, like 18? You look like an emo kid."
"What are you, in high school?" I asked, laughing- which is usually just a smart-assy thing I say to anyone who uses the word 'emo'. "Sit down and stop acting like a- *dumbass, retard- goddamn it, I need to work on my vocabulary!!!*,"
"What?" he asked, and I realize suddenly realize, because we're standing, how much taller this kid is then me, yet how I wasn't intimidated at all, because he was a dumbass, which wouldn't have happened when I was still in high school.
"Just, gimme a second," I saw no reason to lie, "I'm trying to think of something to compare your behavior to that I can say in school, you know," I shrugged, "as an educator."
True charismatic dickishness is genetic, I think, because in my head, this didn't sound like a dick comment at all. It pissed this kid off so bad, that he went storming out of my classroom. You can't just... let that happen.
So I called the principal- because I sure as shit wasn't going after him. Fuck that.
Anyway, that was the first of 4 periods. They didn't get as bad after that, but there's a lot of dick teenagers. And it eats away at your soul to have to listen to them. The full-of-shitness is PAINFUL!!!! See, that is why I rarely spoke in high school, I think- I didn't want to be in a situation where I had to deal with those fucktards.
So, I went out to eat with some buds after school, and my boyfriend says that I do kinda look like an emo kid and the general consensus is that I need to cut my hair. I sarcastically said I should cut it all even with the front and dye it purple, and my man was all, "FUCK YEAH!! You'd look like Trunks! That would be badass."
That was my joke hairstyle- my hair has to be black or at least brunetteish for me to teach- that's in their dress code. Your hair has to look 'natural'.
So- how should I cut my hair?
Also, how do I induce fear in my students, given that, you know, it's me and no one fears me?
And they know you can't do anything to them?
I hated high school. I fucking hated high school. And do you know why I hated highschool? Because teenagers- now that I am 20 (I did not realize how important a threshold losing the word 'teenager' was until today) I get to say "teenager" talking about someone else- are fucking assholes.
And I'm 5' 8". And not wolverine kind of short. And I was an alterna-teen then. And I don't own a work-shirt that doesn't have some kind of emblem spary-painted on the back of it. So, I had to borrow one of my boyfriend's church shirts- which are what he calls dress shirts, I swear to god- Ive told everyone we know, and we've decided to break him from it- and he's about 2 sizes bigger then me. And he wears his clothes loose so it's actually closer to three sizes. But I wore a black sweater-vest, which is totally allowable in the dress code, so I was hoping for a "Mr. Rogers/Dr. Venture vibe".
Perfect start- anyway, I got there, and I was supposed to be teaching still life drawing, which is the easiest and therefore to people who take art classes for an easy 'A' most boring. It was shadowing techniques- which actually are pretty important for the rest of your life drawing career. But anyway- so I set up the lighting and walked around all like I had been taught in class (covering space) or whatever- doing individual comments, you know, teaching.
So I get to this one kid who's talking to hot chick- then I'm like, sweet jesus- hot chick? She's like, 16!'Yes, thoughts- but that's like, 4 years younger then me'So it's not that bad?-and he hasn't done anything the entire class, but the chick has. She's actually done a lot, her perspective is perfect, her shading is beginning to look really well-drawn, at least well proportioned. So I know she had time. But the chick, was really hot. And he was sitting next to her, so I decided not to say anything and just comment on hers and how well she was doing. In art classes, for those of you who don't remember, you sit like you're sharing a joint [I'm assuming to prepare someone for college] and have something in the middle of you that you're all staring at drawing from different angles. She was next in line.
So I keep going around (the teacher is playing a more adult form of 'duck duck goose' in these encounters) and I come back to them, like, 20 minutes later. The chick has progressed a lot, the guy has actually done a little, but it's horrible. I told him to check his perspectives a little closer before he moved on to shading. Went on.
The bullet point to this story is that this kid was starting to annoy me. He wasn't doing his work, he was bothering other people- and then, at one point, he got up and fucked up the lights- in a college art class, everyone jumps your shit for that- so the kids who were actually working, who had spent like, an hour trying to get the deception of the lighting down are visibly pissed.
"What the fuck?" The girl who was sitting next to him asked- along with half the class. I started, and caught myself just before 'fuck'- teachers can't say 'fuck' or any curse word, at school- we were drilled on that- so I thought of other words I could put there- hell, shit damn, I didn't know a way to end that sentence.
"I can't see," he explained- this kid was obviously a dick, but I found out later that the reason no one called him on it is because he was the school's star bascketball player- this was not an honest mistake thing, he was fucking with me.
"Dude, turn 6," I snapped- because he was annoying the fuck out of me, "You know you're fuc- messing it up for the rest of the class." What the hell!?
So the kid actually asks me, for no reason, "What are you, like 18? You look like an emo kid."
"What are you, in high school?" I asked, laughing- which is usually just a smart-assy thing I say to anyone who uses the word 'emo'. "Sit down and stop acting like a- *dumbass, retard- goddamn it, I need to work on my vocabulary!!!*,"
"What?" he asked, and I realize suddenly realize, because we're standing, how much taller this kid is then me, yet how I wasn't intimidated at all, because he was a dumbass, which wouldn't have happened when I was still in high school.
"Just, gimme a second," I saw no reason to lie, "I'm trying to think of something to compare your behavior to that I can say in school, you know," I shrugged, "as an educator."
True charismatic dickishness is genetic, I think, because in my head, this didn't sound like a dick comment at all. It pissed this kid off so bad, that he went storming out of my classroom. You can't just... let that happen.
So I called the principal- because I sure as shit wasn't going after him. Fuck that.
Anyway, that was the first of 4 periods. They didn't get as bad after that, but there's a lot of dick teenagers. And it eats away at your soul to have to listen to them. The full-of-shitness is PAINFUL!!!! See, that is why I rarely spoke in high school, I think- I didn't want to be in a situation where I had to deal with those fucktards.
So, I went out to eat with some buds after school, and my boyfriend says that I do kinda look like an emo kid and the general consensus is that I need to cut my hair. I sarcastically said I should cut it all even with the front and dye it purple, and my man was all, "FUCK YEAH!! You'd look like Trunks! That would be badass."
That was my joke hairstyle- my hair has to be black or at least brunetteish for me to teach- that's in their dress code. Your hair has to look 'natural'.
So- how should I cut my hair?
Also, how do I induce fear in my students, given that, you know, it's me and no one fears me?
And they know you can't do anything to them?
