Teacher's Pet series

[Sunnie]

Hey guys,

I've been absent for a long time, due to a serious case of writer's block (for some reason I always get stuck on sex scenes, does that make any sense? lol) , but I'm back and I'm looking for a little feedback.

My Teacher's Pet series. Personally, I love it, and I've gotten a lot of feedback from people who love it just as much. But, I'm going to publish it, and I don't think it's ready in its Lit-published form. It's not novel material, yet.

Take a look at the first three chapters, if you could, and let me know how I can give the story more meat (no pun intended, you bunch of sickos ). Should I bring in a greater risk of the two main characters getting caught? What other things can you suggest?

Thanks!

 

[Sunnie]

No one?

 

[sirhugs]

you really just need to go for it. Part three nicely set up the double penetration.

I suggest you read a few stories that feature that, then without copying them, let your own brain loose.

How about Ben contrives to be in the faculty lounge on evening when he knows Sydney has a night class? Grace arranges to intercept Sydney after class, and when he hesitates about where to have sex, she suggests the "desserted" lounge.

start at that point, with Sydney's hestiation, then backfill, then go forward.

Opening line? How about:

"But what if someone is there?" Sydney fretted.

"At this hour on a Monday? You know how the faculty club has cut back. My room mate's boyfriend used to tend bar there but he says that business was so slow they have gone to a self seve honor system early week nights." Grace giggled. " He thinks too many profs would rather hang around the student ubs hitiing on studentsa. With sexual haeassment cutting baclk on the profs screwing their own students, they like to go fishing in a bigger pond."

~ I hope even if you hate these ideas that they unblock you.

 

[Sunnie]

Thanks for your input, Sirhugs!

Part Four just went up today. It's a bit of a departure from the rest of the series; I wanted to bring in a little depth with Ben's wife and another aspect to Sydney's sexuality, which I may or may not elaborate on later. I may turn it into a femme-dom scene. hehe. At any rate, Chapter Five is ready for submission after I edit one more time, and that's where we'll play out the DP. I need some serious feedback on the series so far -- should I bring in more characters? Make the relationship between Ben and Grace a little more risky? Getting caught? Ben and his wife will split up eventually -- should he leave her, throw her out, or should she leave him?

Any ideas are welcome and appreciated.

 

[Sunnie]

you really just need to go for it. Part three nicely set up the double penetration.

I suggest you read a few stories that feature that, then without copying them, let your own brain loose.

Don't need to -- I take all my scenes from personal experience.

 

[Sunnie]

Bump...

Can anyone else give me some input?

 

[Sexy Frosh]

I'd like the Ben/Monica line played out a bit more.

Some locker room talk between Ben and Sydney could be good. You could have them be at some teachers event and using innuendo to talk about their favourite ass in the school.

A new location. So far all the sex has taken place in one of the teachers' office.

 

[vargas111]

Disappointed

I hoped for a young man to be the pet of an older woman!

 

[Sexy Frosh]

Well I certainly got my wish in part 5.

I suggest keep up the Ben/Monica line as that is your primary source of conflict. If you're feeling dastardly and don't have another plan you could just have Sydney seduce her, thus giving Ben an out.

What's happening with the rest of Grace's life wouldn't be too bad either. People she knows from the dorm, her parents, classmates, anyone she doesn't interact with on a sexual level.

 

[sirhugs]

I must admit I found part 5 less satisfying. I thought the focus needed to be more on Grace, not the guys and that the shifts iin her character were too abrupt. I did not find her being dominated ringing true. Nor did the male characters seem like doms.