Tamed Dom

[cleverdevil76]

Here's something I thought might make for an interesting topic:
I'm in a great relationship with a superb little girl that will most likely lead to marriage(we'll see). Mind you, all of my relationships have been great, as I have excellant taste in women, but this one takes the cake.
Oddly enough, this one is the only time I've ever dared to restrain myself with. See, some time ago there was some noted apprehension when it came to sex. As you can understand, this really pissed me off, so I addressed the issue with said little girl. We did a little counsilling, with me as the psychotherapist, and learned that she was basically afraid of me. Fancy that! Now, I've never really done anything to envoke fear.....ok, maybe a little but not alot! Really, it just came down to the nature of the beast, as they say. I'm primarily what you call a Daddy Dom, but on occasion I lean toward something that's been described as "intense." Brute aggression with sane mind. Nothing too unfamiliar, I'm sure. I'll also note that I'm always very self-aware. No one is ever in danger. I've known what I am and been in or round "the lifestyle" for over 10yrs now.
The result of our joint revelation at her apprehension is my aggreeing that I would tame the beast, so to speak. I really don't want a little girl that's afraid of her Daddy, so I decided and told her that I would hold those "intense" tendancies at bay until she feels certain that she'll be okay. Now, this could literally take a lifetime for certain people and she just might be one of them. Of course, we still enjoy our various plays and kinks, it's just that I never really let the animal out. It's funny because this requires more sex than I've ever needed in my lifetime, and of course like a good girl, she's there before my cock is even hard.
No regrets, no remorse, and no insecurities. All said and done, I don't mind at all. I might even like the idea of having to restrain something that's too savage to be let free. Oh look, I'm romantisizing it....dork lol

That's my bit. I thought it might be interesting to throw it out to anyone else that might like to share a way they've....adapted themselves.

-Jerry

P.S.the title of this is almost offensive and seems off, but I thought it the most appropriate eye catcher for the subject matter.

 

[Netzach]

Uhm.

My husband is probably more physically masochistic than I am physically sadistic. He's also definitely less emotionally/mentally masochistic than I am emotionally/mentally sadistic. So I have a slave who gets the serious verbal abuse and loves it, my husband does the really hard CBT stuff as self-play and everyone's more or less content. I don't think I'd enjoy inflicting the mental cruelty on him because it's just not his thing, it's like pounding the square peg in the round hole and just doesn't seem natural to me.

We all see shrinks for a million reasons. I have no intention of doing amateur psychotherapy on two depressives, one with pretty pronounced ADD. Some things are much better handled by pros.

Also, as far as my beast goes, I have no interest in restraining it to the point where it has no outlet. I did that for 7 years with straight vanilla - if it didn't work then it won't work now, for anyone's sake.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

I think that any relationship even D/s requires a certain amount of compromise. But I have the Dominance over her that is comfortable and needed for Me...

 

[Etoile]

been in or round "the lifestyle" for over 10yrs now.

And how long have you been so full of yourself?

 

[cleverdevil76]

And how long have you been so full of yourself?

Well, I'm 30 now so I guess that would make it just over 30years.

And did you want to say somthing, or was that it? Your big quip...

 

[Netzach]

I've also been doing this for a decade, and I'm 33.

However "with me as the therapist" is never going to pass my lips unless I get my PhD or I'm in one seriously silly roleplay.

Good luck.

 

[cleverdevil76]

I've also been doing this for a decade, and I'm 33.

However "with me as the therapist" is never going to pass my lips unless I get my PhD or I'm in one seriously silly roleplay.

Good luck.

It was tongue in cheek. Are we taking ourselves a little too seriously here?
To clarify, I didn't mean to imply that any experience I have makes me an authority on this, or any subject. My motivation for mentioning the 10yrs at all was for the piece of mind of any reader that might be concerned for cheryl's well-being. As soon as a person begins to openly acknowledge the desires that could fall anywhere under the "BDSM" umbrella, they begin a journey of self discovery and awareness. I mentioned that part of my background to illustrate that I'm quite familiar with my more aggressive cravings as I've been exploring them for sometime.
Returning to the "me as psychotherapist"...just dry, dead pan sarcasm.

I hope the clarification helps.

 

[Netzach]

It was tongue in cheek. Are we taking ourselves a little too seriously here?
To clarify, I didn't mean to imply that any experience I have makes me an authority on this, or any subject. My motivation for mentioning the 10yrs at all was for the piece of mind of any reader that might be concerned for cheryl's well-being. As soon as a person begins to openly acknowledge the desires that could fall anywhere under the "BDSM" umbrella, they begin a journey of self discovery and awareness. I mentioned that part of my background to illustrate that I'm quite familiar with my more aggressive cravings as I've been exploring them for sometime.
Returning to the "me as psychotherapist"...just dry, dead pan sarcasm.

I hope the clarification helps.

OK so what are you going to do when it really begins to eat at you, or do you think it won't?

No sarcasm here. I honestly can't imagine sublimating it every time it comes up, props to you if you have the kind of self-control that takes.

 

[cleverdevil76]

OK so what are you going to do when it really begins to eat at you, or do you think it won't?

No sarcasm here. I honestly can't imagine sublimating it every time it comes up, props to you if you have the kind of self-control that takes.

Not worried. If I had a problem, then it would be obvious to me that I've collared the wrong little girl. On the other hand, there are other outlets that I could explore. I could take another, explore poly, do any number of things.
I'll do what's right for me when the time is right.

 

[Etoile]

Well, I'm 30 now so I guess that would make it just over 30years.

And did you want to say somthing, or was that it? Your big quip...

No, that was pretty much it. Well, and this.

It wasn't just the 10 years in the lifestyle or the playing psychotherapist, it was also the more-aggressive-than-thou attitude and the superhuman ability to control that scary beast inside you. That, combined with your smug assertion that you have excellent taste in women and your assumption that we're all going to find this thread terribly fascinating, led me to find you arrogant and full of yourself. We have plenty of people here who, like you, are very self-assured when they post, but most of them manage not to come out sounding like assholes - it's a "total package" sort of thing.

That's it for now.

 

[Etoile]

One more thing - I am normally exceedingly polite and the "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" type. Most of the time I keep my mouth shut, this time I didn't for some reason. However I never hold a grudge - if you turn out to have a bit of humble in you and can listen appreciatively when people give you the answers and/or advice you asked for, I'm perfectly happy to make friends. I also enjoy engaging discussion without forming an opinion about the other person, so I am usually quite happy to have heated debate and still be friends. I hope you'll turn out to be so interesting, your grammar is certainly promising!

 

[cleverdevil76]

Well, to start, I feel pretty good about my post, so I won' be chaning or apologizing for that.
True enough, I'm arrogant and I like me that way. I know that my arrogance isn' such that it infringes upon anyone, unless said persons are those types that insist on coming into your own personal shell and saying "I don't like you. Change"-like you.
We live in a world that lacks self-control above all things. For my part in my sexual exploration, I've tried to live a life without the need for control. Indulgance being first and foremost-for myself and for anyone that can manage to do so safely. The fact that I'm doing something new and out of chracter DOES impress me. Being so impressed was the genesis for the post as it's not just me that I'm impressed with, but anyone else that does this thing that I've never done before. Go figure.
I do have excellant taste in women. No need for apology there. Infact, I did make one post that I regret, in which I entertained what might happen if restraining myself became too much. In hindsight, I feel bad as it sounds like I’m acknowledging the possibility that Cheryl won’t always be able to fully satisfy me. Just not the case. I couldn’t be more happen. But I digress.
"and your assumption that we're all going to find this thread terribly fascinating." Well, I was hoping it would spark discussion. The rest, I can't piece together what you're rambling about.

Part 2.
"I am normally exceedingly polite and the "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" type. Most of the time I keep my mouth shut." I find this pretty hard to believe and I'm sure that if I did some research, I'm sure I'd find you telling other people what you really don't like about them. Either way, I won't be benefiting myself by wasting the time.

"However I never hold a grudge." I wouldn't call it a grudge, but I don't like you or how you treat people. You've made several posts about a person you've never met, calling that person an asshole and backing that up with vague insinuations about what you read between lines. That person has tried to clarify and recify the situation, but you just come back with the same wonderfully insightful observations. That doesn't indicate a particularly bright person to me, but grudge or not, if you ever have anything intelligent to say I'd be more than interested in "engaging discussion."

"if you turn out to have a bit of humble in you" being humble isn't a prerequisite to anything. The act of telling someone that they need to come off as humble tells me they want a person to lower themselves. Seem weak. Perhaps a little humiliated would be nice. That's fucking disgusting that one person would ever expect that of someone else. Nuff said.

"I also enjoy engaging discussion without forming an opinion about the other person." You do this? Really? lol Cool.

"I hope you'll turn out to be so interesting, your grammar is certainly promising!"
Without agreeing to be a different person, or "seem humble" I doubt you'll ever find me such an interesting person.
As far as the grammer goes, yes, I'm also pleased that you're not an illiterate little cunt. Kudos to you. And we both know that I certainly don't need the pat on the back regarding my english.

 

[Etoile]

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a4/somerandomcrap/imagemacros/88063daa.jpg

 

[CutieMouse]

As far as the grammer goes, yes, I'm also pleased that you're not an illiterate little cunt. Kudos to you.

Well... I had this entire reasonable comment and inquiry as to issues I was curious about, with regards to the whole "taming the beast" thing (it *could* be a rather interesting conversation), but the quote above leaves me with the distinct impression you are no gentleman, so good luck with that.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Well... I had this entire reasonable comment and inquiry as to issues I was curious about, with regards to the whole "taming the beast" thing (it *could* be a rather interesting conversation), but the quote above leaves me with the distinct impression you are no gentleman, so good luck with that.

same here cutiemouse, i was with him right up until i saw that. wow....

 

[FurryFury]

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a4/somerandomcrap/imagemacros/88063daa.jpg

Awww!

What a cute kitty!

I googled TL;DR and learned something new.



Etoile!

Fury

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Woot!
*lmao*

 

[A Desert Rose]

Having control over ones behavior and emotions is the hallmark of a mature person.

Lashing out at someone whose posts you don't agree with, resorting to unkind comparisons and name calling is not indicitive of someone who has that level of maturity.

 

[Daddyslilpet]

Well I'm not going to be very popular here but I don't think either party acted appropriately. ~shrugs~

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Well I'm not going to be very popular here but I don't think either party acted appropriately. ~shrugs~

i will agree, although two wrongs don't make a right and there was no need for name calling..anyway onto the original question. i don't think i've really sacrificed much for the sake of my Dom. we just click for the most part and i didn't have to 'change' me to make Him happy. though i do wonder if the OP will eventually not be able to handle not having 'the beast' come out, you can hide it for so long, but you can't push who you are away for long without it coming out. though i do know Master has more a sadistic streak than He shows with me, and maybe in time after more limits and such have been pushed, He'll be able to show me that more sadistic side of Him, but right now, i don't think i could handle it (needles and things are not my idea of 'fun') so i guess, in a way, we all give up some things or tuck them away, to make our relationships work for us, but if you find you are 'tucking' too much of yourself away to make them happy, i guess then is when it would become a problem...ya know? hopefully i made sense to someone

 

[FurryFury]

I found the thread title to be a bit of a turn off. I mean I'd use the term tamed Dom in a negative way if at all.

OTOH, if one is satisfied being "tamed" and it makes their SO happy then good for them both.

*shrugs*

Fury

 

[bronntanas]

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a4/somerandomcrap/imagemacros/88063daa.jpg

Way cute. You didn't miss much, btw.